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Limerick Education Poems | Limerick Poems About Education

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Details | Limerick | |

Bow Pow

<                                    cakes and sausages on hot griddle
                                      uncle Leroy's dam dog just piddled
                                      slipped ~ slide across floor
                                      grabbed shotgun by front door
                                      now dam ole dog just plays an fiddle 



                            bow bow bow bow bow bow bow        bow ~ wow 
                            ow ow ow ow ow ow ow                       bow ~ ow 
                            with   tail    between     own  ~              legs 
                            now    dog    sings  ~    and  ~               brags
                            about cousin's daisies's  bad                 bow ~ pows
                  
                                                                                        
                                                                                     


Entry For John Freeman's
Slapstick Limerick Contest
Gl All

Poor Ole Dog LOL


Details | Limerick | |

Truth In Numbers

"THE whole truth and nothing but the truth" .......


I flunked my math test and I never felt so blue
Geometry I could just not do
Algebra came easy
Other subjects were breezy
Sadly off the honor roll I flew.

Was the very first time I failed a test
I should have cheated to avoid the stress
But that would be wrong
My morals were too strong
I felt like a failure I must confess.

Teacher moved my desk way up in the front
My eyesight is not the problem I grunt
He said, just pay attention
Or I will add detention
You will learn, his intentions were blunt.

Many hours I tried to comprehend
I think his teaching skills I did offend
Plenty of intimidation
Loads of frustration 
For I did not learn 'G' in the end.

By: Cecilia Macfarlane 02/27/12012
For: Truth!! Or Dare Contest
Sponsor: Destroyer ~ Poet 


Details | Limerick | |

These Colors Don't Run Limerick

<                                 once were twin towers on horizon
                                   bombarded by Al Qaeda what sin
                                   then came many heros
                                   lost too at ground zero
                                   America's flag still flew in wind




In Loving Memory To Those Lost
On 911 R.I.P. You Are Not Forgotten


Details | Limerick | |

Gun Control

            Gun Control

There once was a boy called Bum

Who shaped his finger in school like a gun

They told him he failed

Threw him in jail

His education is over and done


Details | Limerick | |

The Naked Truth

<                                our top story tonight is Lawyers
                                  a pain in the ass and real spoilers
                                  with  fancy cars homes suits
                                  fifteen hundred kaboot
                                  rather hire cowboy wearing just spurs






Entry For Carolyn Devonshire's 
Lawyer Limerick's Contest

GL All
                                  
                                  


Details | Limerick | |

Prep Talk

<                                      Peter ~ Piper ~ picked ~ pickled .... peppers
                                        Ate ~ one ~ turned ~ into ~ hot ~ salsa ... stepper
                                                Cherry ~ Banana ~ ....  Bell 
                                         Boy - his - tongue - throat - did ... swell
                                         Couldn't ~ even ~ yell ~ at ~ packs ... prepper






Entry For
Destroyer {Poet's }
Pickles & Tickles Contest
G.L. All


Details | Limerick | |

You Stink

<                            Once came along a super ninja
                              Dagger Nunchucks Gi sword Wala
                              Hiding in the sewer
                              Got covered with manure
                              Fear not his weapons but hands haha


                             
                              


Details | Limerick | |

Fire In The Hole

<                                        once there was ten devious children
                                          oh how they did a poor little sin
                                          brother had passed some gas
                                          they lit match to his ass
                                          dam dog was even wearing a grin






Entry For
John Freeman's
Giggle Poetry Contest # 2
G.L. All


Details | Limerick | |

Frankly Speaking

In hopes of gaining a heap of knowledge,

   Frank had blown a ton of dough for college!

      But to be perfectly frank,

         He'd have more bucks in the bank,

            If he was a plumber, he'd acknowledge!

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(c) All Rights Reserved


Details | Limerick | |

February Funny Bone

                                 Once came along a groundhog named Phil
                                 Looked for shadow in winters chill
                                         Even top hat and coat
                                         Didn't stop whining's gloat
                                Stuck six more weeks paying heating bill                                 
                                  






Written by 
Katherine Stella 2/4/12
Entry For
Linda Marie's
February Funny Bone Contest
G.L. ALL


Details | Limerick | |

All In The Family

<                          once Edith laid her hot iron flat
                            husband Archie called her his dingbat
                            then son-in-law ~ meathead
                            put iron on dam bed
                            boy fire did make Jefferson scat





Written By 
Katherine Stella 10/30/11
Entry For Techno - Limericks Contest 
To Be Co-Judge  G.L. All


Just Gotta Love That Archie LOL

Note Please Never Leave Your Iron On
Can Really Ruin Your Day Yikes


Details | Limerick | |

Belief

GOD: the goodness of determination,
a standard for better living creation.
to differentiate a civil or wild nation,
for smoothness a better flow no tension,
only patience, belief, trust asks to confirm.


Details | Limerick | |

Step By Step

From undertaker to conversation maker
The callers were now all alone
The clickerty - clack
Of the Strowger exchange
No operators needed to answer the phone
~GG~ 

An Undertaker called Strowger invented the Strowger Telephone Exchange making the need of an Operator to connect calls unnecessary. The mechanism made a clicking noise as it selected the dialled number. He then returned to being an undertaker.


Details | Limerick | |

Newton's Laws

Here is Newton’s law one
Object with no force upon
If stationery will
Remain perfectly still
If moving will continue on

It’s easy to learn Newton’s Laws
All 3 are famous of course
For the second we say
F=ma
Acceleration times mass equals force

Here is Newton’s law three
For every action there’ll be
A reaction we say,
In the opposite way,
Which equals the action we see


Details | Limerick | |

Let's Get Ready For Some Football

<                                   let's get ready for some football .....    Ya !
                                     Eagles   verses    da   .....   Bears   Well ... then  Hey !       
                                     Here's kickoff ~ by     da .......    Bears
                                     Ohhhhhhhh !  fell  off ....  T  .....    Unfair
                                     Second  ..... blocked  .....  Eagles    7 - Nay !


                                                                      
                                     
                                     
                                    

                                    
Entry For 
Linda Marie's 
Let's Limerick Contest
G.L. All    



Tribute To Football


Details | Limerick | |

Quit Your Growling

<          once there was old woman on the prowl
            found younger man and begun to howl
            under silvery moon
            fead him with baby spoon
            now stomach does goo goo gah gah grawls



Written By Katherine Stella


Entry For Dr. Ram's Cougar Effect Contest 
G.L. All                                                                


Details | Limerick | |

Sons Of An Zeus Man

<                           once came along pair gemini twins
                             castro and pollux from third sign in
                             well sons of an zeus man
                             all from mercury clan
                             sharing wealth of intelligence sin

                            with ever compatible libra scales
                            along with aquarius that wales
                            fire signs given few
                            pisces they known too
                            beneath sun and moon's with semi's tale








Written By Katherine Stella  6/26/11


Entry For Nette Onclaud's
Zodiac Zones Contest
G.L. All


Details | Limerick | |

Bull o ney!

I was travelin’ one day in Monroe
when I met a fair maid with a hoe.
Her garden was full.
Then in came the bull
so, she thought why not steak to go!

Her cupboard was bare, no meat was there!
And she liked her kabobs med’um rare…
She thought of baloney
but then, naw, that’s phony....
and she booked for that bull on a tear!

*Please read Constance’s (A Rambling Poet’s) Limerick Baloney!

Line 1 9
Line 2 9
Line 3 5
Line 4 5
Line 5 9

Line 1 9
Line 2 9
Line 3 6
Line 4 6
Line 5 9



  


Details | Limerick | |

A Prophet : Defining the Term





A Prophet is not one who can predict future acts.
He’s given the grace to see and relate the facts.
To those who are blind, 
he appears most unkind,
And is susceptible to all kinds of attacks.




Details | Limerick | |

The Standard of the High Life

The lifestyle I have I would keep
My expenses however are steep
So me you will serve
You're the help I deserve
Without any tip cause I'm cheap


Details | Limerick | |

Indian Giver Of Life

.
The Indian Healer gathered willow
Dried medicinal bark like dried tallow
When fever came to the camp
Small dose when with fever damp
Relieves many of tribe from the deathblow


Details | Limerick | |

Sick Trick

You complained, “Don’t come over today -
My throat’s sore, I’m tired, and achy.”
So why are you nude,
In bed with some dude?
If you’re going to lie, pull down the shades!


Details | Limerick | |

Career Dreams

I always wanted to be a baseball player for the New York Mets
But I never wanted to try my best so I just looked like a hopeless stem
One day I'll show them all
I'ma be the only one standing tall
As for the dreams that can be obtained right now, I'm going full force at them.


Details | Limerick | |

Trader Joe

<                           once there was a man named trader Joe
                             could do nothing with hair so let grow
                             under big coonskin hat
                             fleas tick and his pet rat
                             mercantile's just say Oh Hell No


                            once there was saloon name lucky spur
                            where traders brought in their hunted furs
                            in walks old trader Joe
                            miss Molly said let's go
                            now both itch scratch from leftover burrs


Details | Limerick | |

Pay Up

<                    hes my banker and my heads horseman
                      calling bounty on anothers land
                      hark the herald angels
                      I think this game is swell
                      now thimble owes me sixty five grand







Written by Katherine Stella

Entry For Judy Konos's
Monopoly The Game Of Life Contest
G.L. All


Details | Limerick | |

Twelve Seconds

<                    Once was a bartender named Louie
                      Thought my tales story was quite screwy                                     
                      Asked how many seconds
                      Was in year he reckons
                      Twelve shouted out by cousin dewey







Entry For
Confession To A Bartender


                                  


Details | Limerick | |

Just Wait Until I Get Home

<                        once popped cork on bottle of red wine
                          hit brother in eye oh how it did shine
                          seen him go pick up bat
                          boy did I ever scat
                          right to canadian's boarder line

                          feeling like her dansel in-distress
                          along came three county mounties best
                          asked if nipping bottle
                          at fast paces throttle
                          answered yes now did I pass your test


                           tossed in pokie for now twenty days
                           poor ole missy now won't and get laid
                           darn brother wins again
                           wearing smitten hugh grin
                           wait until that welt begins to fade  




Written 6/20/11

Entry For Francine Robert's
Bottle Of Wine
Limericks Only Contest
G.L. All


Details | Limerick | |

Quit Wasting My Time { Edit }

<                               One by one they'll shall roll on and come
                                 Like soldiers marching to beaten drums
                                 Echoes  are acknowledge
                                 Cast across thy arched bridge
                                 Haste makes waste even for everyone




Inspired By
Carolyn Devonshire's Contest
Follower Or Leader
GL All


Details | Limerick | |

THE BIRDS AND THE BEES

Two virgin lovers, now have learned
A lesson they wish they had spurned
Of the birds and the bees
His poor carpet burnt knees
Next time, to the bed they adjourned


Nick Bagnall
Contest entry for : THE BIRDS AND THE BEES


Details | Limerick | |

Limericks crochetes Once a Bar Student in the fifties

Limericks crochetés : Once a Bar Student in the fifties

Once a Bar Student in the fifties
Hoped to finish quickly his law studies:
Some students tipped him off
Pass-list clerk Good Enough
Will shift around marks for Five Guineas!

One late Singh Bar-at-Law, Seremban
Took finals with student Wei Ni Shan:
May nineteen-fifty six
Trinity exam fix:
Who was called to the Bar if not Shan?

Said Singh: “Week before results are known
At Council of Legal Sovereign Crown:
In open envelope
Put five guineas like dope:
Clerk will to refectory come down.”

Now Singh had booked his return passage
His fee reached clerk by special message:
“What! Only five guineas?”
Wei Ni Shan made much pleas.
“Once on Pass List give more to assuage!”

For decades choice invitee at bars
Was you know who: O! Do-good-er woes!
Look up or down: East-West
Never at him in jest:
Think: all the good he did to Yahoos!

Wei Ni Shan twice went to refectory
Early one morning at nine-thirty:
Saw West and East Indians
All shot-up onions:
Drop their envelopes in mail-rack tree!

Mister Do-Good-er was good enough
The hundreds of lives not to think of
All over Empire
Famished straits all dire
Waiting for Barrister to lift off !

When empires crumble on last legs
Old Masters then hatch sly loaded eggs
Ensuring level best
Way to scuttle the rest:
Yahoos make enslaved Houyhnhnm dregs !
                                     © T. Wignesan – Paris, 2014


Details | Limerick | |

You're Going To Get It Now But Good

<                             once there was an old cat named chessur
                               only listened to alice for sure
                               but sometimes dissappeared 
                               and left behind grins smear
                               so I've gone mad and shaved off hides fur





Entry For Debbie Guzzi's
Go Ask Alice Contest
        G.L. All


Details | Limerick | |

Banana Surprise

Banana went to culinary college
Yellow, firm, wanted so much knowledge,
Standing up in last class,
Ending up in large mass,
Now was the time for all to acknowledge.


Written for

Sponsor Deborah Guzzi 
Contest Name The once was a man from Dunkirk.. 


Details | Limerick | |

Acknowledge

We all acknowledge that college
Is a font of much good knowledge
But we should also acknowledge
That there is much good knowledge
Way out and away from college


Details | Limerick | |

Old Wine

The wine that my ancestors drank
I found in an old copper tank
It was bitter and red
And went straight to my head
As into a stupor I sank

Now the cure was much worse than the bite
Unless you kept drinking all night
Twas the hair of the dog
Got you out of the fog
Along with the early morn light

Now the moral of the story I’m told
Is to not drink the wine that’s this old
Stick with Bartles and Jaymes
And other known names
Then only drink what you can hold

Mdailey	6/18/11 (4:11 PM)

Contest:  bottle of wine


Details | Limerick | |

The Last Laugh?

Democracy now that is a laugh
When the voting is all stacked with graft
And I will give you a plug
If you punch out that lug
If you believe me you’re really daft!

You say you’re poor and you’re not real able
To put food and some bucks on the table
Just right say the rich
Starve and don’t *itch
Or drop by and muck out my stable!

Grad’s from Vassar and Yale all abhor
Those in Appalachia with dirt floors
But they own the coal mines
And their wealth is refined
They won’t mess up their minds keeping score.

You can’t get a real education
In this righteous American nation
Well go read a book
Or go shoot a crook
Rise to your appropriate station!



Details | Limerick | |

Quit Calling Me

<                                          good tarnations  .......  to this darn nation

                                            economic woes   .......  our money goes

                                                      all we are is .....   numbers

                                                      to good ole ....... Uncle Sam

                                             
                                             don't you just hate being called ....... sometimes







Entry For
John Freeman's Contest
Citizen Or Subject
G.L. All


Details | Limerick | |

Time to Read

As you take the time to read
You cultivate the knowledge seed
But take you the time to care
And please do be aware
On what your mind doth feed


Details | Limerick | |

Lock Up

<                             once there was a girl locked in closet
                               dear old dad said well thats what you get
                               little did he come know
                               let out by little bro
                               but recaptured by moms fishing net 





Entry For Leighann Anderson's
Sea Of Words Contest
G.L. All                               


Details | Limerick | |

Job Interview

There once was a boy, named Abdul;
Went to get a job, fresh out of school. 
All dressed up like July,
With a bow and a tie;
But left his fly open, what a fool!


Details | Limerick | |

Ma Dropping It Like Its Hot (Limerick)

Ms. Potter caught her daughter Lollipop
There dancing in the grocer’s parking lot
And scolded her profusely
‘Til someone cranked up “Juicy”…
Ms. Potter stopped and dropped it like it’s hot


Comments:
How soon some forget that they were once young too. If the power of dance is ones 
passion it is not the worst vice a child can have, in fact it is good exercise.  One 
Love


Details | Limerick | |

Scared Clean

Scared Clean

A gentleman wanting to scare
His wife, started out getting quite bare
Climbed into the machine
That got his clothes clean
To wait for his wife to get there

When his wife finally opened the lid
Of the washing machine in which he hid
She was really surprised
By the look in his eyes
And not because of something he did

You see, curled up, this man with no clothes
His muscles and joints simply froze
In spite of his tussle
Could not budge a muscle
No matter the movement he chose

The wife had to call 911
To get her poor husband undone
As they tried not to laugh
With an olive oil bath
His freedom he finally one

And just what did we learn from this man?
It is something you must understand.
Don’t wedge yourself in
In a laundry bin
Just because you think you can

And even within you own house
Playing hide and seek with your own spouse
If scared’s what you’re after
And not just her laughter
Getting naked I would not espouse

Uncle Mike


Details | Limerick | |

I'm Growing

<                                  economic woes
                                    say it isn't so
                                    fruits vegetables of divine
                                    artificial added such a crime
                                    sow garden  W.T.G     {Way To Go}
                                    
                                    
                                    
                                    
                                    


Details | Limerick | |

' Intelligence - Impediment ' (Limerick # 1)

‘ Intelligence-Impediment ’

There Was A-Lisping Professor, Named Panamo’
Who gave his Students, an Assignment on Plato’
… But he was quite perplexed in Mind
… When They, came with clay-figures of some Kind
Not Realizing, They All Thought, He’d Said, ‘Play Doh’ ...


Details | Limerick | |

Garbage Dump//For Limerick Game

In many and many ages hence
Standing on a hill that makes no sense
Archaeologist dig way down
Found way beneath a Royal Crown
Bad odor becoming intense

(This for Limerick Game or whatever passed from C.E.McMillen.  I pass the Limerick torch to 
Doris Culverhouse lovely daughter).


Details | Limerick | |

UNDER THE FIRE

Under millions of stars...................eyes deeply fixed to the golden moon..............when dew on the grass is shinning like pieces of glasses...............on the bus to town................like a monkey on a tree,
With my favorite blue pen................sometimes draft in my cell..................the strongest bond love,
My mysterious pain.....................undying dreams.................never-ending hope.............................
Beautiful rhymes from my inner being............................a mental obstruct................struggles with lines.........................I write...........................hoping for some coins..................the bag to better my life.........................the clue..........................a shoe...........................ask even Valarie.........................add wit.....................sometimes filled with so much questions................may be its for perfection.....................intercession....................aren’t I  worth anything?.....................all my time a breath of pain............all stretched hands twinge me......................all my ambitions go wrong..................am but a wig.............my dreams are like birds.............everything a pack of misfortune..........................am dead beat of this oceanic pain......................sick of the waterfalls in my eyes....................the friendships that cleaves my heart out............................tired of the thorns raining from the skies.....................I hold on to prayers.......................I still hurt my bones........................am an apprentice of writing............................a millionaire in searching...... ................. trying to piece the rest of my dilapidated life............................yet the darkest days are ahead of me......................am rotting in pain.........................am carrying an album full of bad memories.....................my head is creating  successful future pictures......... ...........maybe the sun will shine once again........................maybe the color of life will return...........................maybe the planet will celebrate with me........................but now am still alone..........................if death wont silence the struggles of my existence........................i pray it will free me from this pain inside.......................now my ulcer is aching.........................i can’t afford the hospital. 


Details | Limerick | |

Prize or Surprise

I spied inside walls to much surprise.
Sometimes with smiles, then tears, into rise.
Sometimes, some things, unheard,
Are better un-interred,
Truly this will never provide prize.



Written for

Sponsor Michael J. Falotico 
Contest Name "A FLY ON THE WALL" 


Details | Limerick | |

Seventeen

Seventeen is the sum of eight and nine
The difference of twenty minus three is fine.
If you're not a fool,
and you stay in school,
it's the squareroot of two hundred eighty-nine.


Details | Limerick | |

Holy Crap

Na- Nu Na-Nu
greetings earthlings How do you do
I'm captain Zendor from planet Sur Render 
shazbot someone crashed into my spaceship's fender
hit me so hard made me go krap-poo


Details | Limerick | |

Ianto Bumchin

He smells like he came from a bin
the odour has stuck to his skin
For this fugly twit
with eau de armpit
is known as Big Ianto Bumchin

(This is about my smelly performing arts tutor.
He's well aware he stinks.
He just gets off on being as disgusting as possible.)


Jodie Williams for
Carolyn's Horrible bosses contest
17 Aug 2011


Details | Limerick | |

Wise Mom

Mom had saying; I found out was true
She had many; but this one will do.
Locks keep out the honest.
Thieves will reach the harvest.
Thou shall not steal, some never got clue.


Details | Limerick | |

Halitosis

When a schoolteacher’s got halitosis
What his pupils fear most when he’s close is
That the smell of his breath
It  could choke them to death
And bring about chronic necrosis


Details | Limerick | |

School

In crowded classrooms kids would sit reading from books and listening to teachers watching the clock, waiting for two when the bell would ring and the school would look like a zoo