Insanity or Death
Life begins with insanity~~
~Your soul is kicking and screaming,
Ready to exit with the touch of human hands.
Insanity rides on a gallant stallion ready to pant.
Hides in the mind, mourning its captive soul.
Ready to breach over holding its breath.
Projecting in and out without a guide.
Bites away at the feast, enchants for freedom.
From the lips……….....
Taking length against a world of dilemmas,
Contrasting to a never happy end.
The epidermis cover every wall of insanity.
To live, to eat, and to suffocate it determination without air.
Dramatically hallucination against its will of no wells.
Until it realizes it can drink without water.
No further needs a slumber.
The mind-bends and unfolds to ordinary jolts,
When left to human consummation.
Insincerely bidding and cutting to die in the sleep.
Is how it pleads!
Graves where dreams have no meaning.
Caves where goodness can be redeemed.
A temple of misguided fortune.
All respect lost to this infection,
The patients’ weight distracted from an antidote.
The madness begins too finds admiration-
That makes catastrophe go on and on.
The psychosis of the mind and mockeries of them will never be gone
Dictating in everything wrong,
Layers of cramped bricks, level the isolation.
Death drags its feet off into this infinite helix world.
A source of light breeding out of darkness.
"Sanity is no friend of mine!"
Insanity is earth herself,
Where there is life, there is a reason,
Where there is reason, there is madness,
Where there is madness, there you are,
Lost in darkness................
~Your soul is kicking and screaming
Life ends with death~~
It’s raining outside
I can see on my window panes
Rain droplets slide
Inside seemingly dry eyes something triggers rains
Memories are cruel
They don’t spare
O agonizing thoughts! Do not fuel the flame
And waste the gems rare
The storm has been building for ages I know
The despair left no trace of hope’s glow
I wore a smiling face just for show
O unwelcome guest! I bid you to go
Why should I remember the haunting moments?
Why should I recollect the heart wrenching times?
Where are the images that heart enchants?
Where is the melody with rhythm and rhymes?
Go, go, go O clouds of despair
With your deafening noise of lightning and thunder
Lend me your ears and let me declare
I fight aggression, I do not surrender
I can see on my window panes rain droplets glide
Alone in this dreary night and no one by my side
The thundering clouds with menacing deafening pride
O my restless soul the worldly rules abide
Karachi, Dec. 27, 2012
It’s okay to leave the dishes in the sink,
to wash your hands with sanitizer instead of soap.
Your mother will joke
about how it doesn’t get your hands clean enough
but when was the last time you listened to her anyway.
It’s okay to cry today,
to use your sleeve instead of tissues.
It’s okay to take that thing that hurt you
and throw it out of the moving car,
just don’t go back to pick it up,
it’s not lost luggage,
it’s buried tumors.
It’s okay to hate God today,
to change his name to yours,
to grab the headstone with your mitten covered hands
and try to knock it over.
Throw the snow at it,
the roses have died.
It has been too long since the passing,
but I give you permission to hate God today.
It’s okay to break into the liquor cabinet
and medicate peacefully,
to drink too much sometimes
and not know where you’ve been
because you’ll eventually find yourself.
It’s okay to walk alone sometimes,
sort your thoughts,
to clear the air with air,
and dry the wounds with salt.
It’s okay to climb into bed early
and stare at the ceiling,
to just tell yourself that it’s okay.
Bold lines are taken from the poem Letter From My Heart to My Brain by Rachel McKibbens
Paste on your passion smile
Crisp all your words
as you settle yourself
to be self-consumed, heard
Whisper sweet nothings
which only you know
Don't stop the banter,
the words or the flow
You've reached the summit
of the loneliest point
You're king of the vacancy
best in the joint
Write all your poems
on the back of your hand
and read them at supper
of cream pie and sand
Your siblings will stand up
and whisper applause
You've felt all emotion
and ridden all stars
They bid you good-bye
for you're out of their league
and to think you just wanted
to be heard, succeed...
I do not know?
Once upon a time there was a puppet master.
Who was very lonely and wanted something to love.
So he decided to make the heavens and the earth.
Earth was empty and dark.
Then he made the light into a big ball called day.
The darkness called night.
Later he put a sky up so high and clouds that looked like cotton.
Since there was too much water on earth he separated it in two parts.
Making one land and the other called the sea.
The puppet master saw that it was good.
Going all around the land he planted vegetation, trees, fruit and many other
Looking at everything that he had done and saw it was good too.
He separated the day from night.
Made signs to mark seasons, days, and years.
Two lights were made over the earth.
One which shined all through the day called the sun.
A night light called the moon was the second light.
The clouds in the sky played with the sun all day.
Made the moon feel lonely and wanted someone to play with.
He thought about giving the moon some friends.
Therefore he made the stars to dance with the moon at night.
Everything he made was good and still wanted something to love.
Then he made creatures to live in the water, land, and in the sky.
Blessed them the gift to multiply.
Different kinds of animals where made in every part of the earth.
He liked all the things he had made and saw it was good.
However he still couldn’t find something to love.
Thinking over and over what else to make.
He looked in the mirror to see his own reflection.
An idea that he never thought of came to mind.
To make an image that looked like him.
A man who would rule all over the sea and the land.
A woman to be by his side and to share the earth.
Then it was done just like that.
Blessed them to be fruitful and to increase in number.
He gave them all the seed-bearing plants to eat.
All the creatures that moved on the ground, water, and the sky belonged to all
He found his love and saw it was good.
His play was complete and so was he.
I’m in such a state of confusion,
I don’t understand what I’m doing
I know your there
And I know you care
But I can’t see you
I can’t hear you
I just don’t know what to do
I know your there in the stillness,
Waiting to heal this illness
There is a deep hole
A sickness in my soul,
Disease in the depths of my heart
But How to fix it
I wouldn't know where to start
How it came to be
Is a deep mystery to me
I know that I am broken
We all are in some way
But rarely are these things spoken
Rarely do I have the courage to say
The secrets kept within
The depths of my sin
But if I hide it how can it be healed
How can the healer heal?
If I keep my heart sealed
What if I let down my shield?
Will I be attacked or disgraced
Or will I be embraced
I’m too scared to find out
To be found out
So I hide my face
I only let people see part of me
I only let people get so close
I don’t want them to see
I don’t want them to know
And so I end up alone
I’ve been to the bar, the clubs,
All the social hubs
But no one cares about my hurts
Life’s all about chasing skirts,
Fancy cars and nice shirts
Or is there something beyond drunken nights, and flashing lights
Is there something really worth living for, an open door to something more?
An invitation to a new destination
A path to peace, a sweet release
A new life to claim, an escape from the shame
I believe there is, some days I forget
But my life isn’t over yet
Tomorrow is a new day
I can live life your way
With love and peace
With guilt and shame released
With a new heart
And a new start
A reason to live
And something to give
To this broken earth
Of invaluable worth
At my very core
I know I was born for more
Than to live and to die
Without knowing why
I don’t have it all figured out
But I know without a doubt
That the world needs love
And that love comes from above
Because human love is not enough
That is why there is a deep hole
And a sickness in my soul
But to me has been revealed
The way to be healed
Now I have a mission
A reason for existence
To bring healing to the earth
To the unloved, the broken, the rejected
And tell them what they are worth
So that Jesus’ love will be reflected
And this love will give birth
To many people being resurrected,
Redirected and completely accepted
To a wonderful and glorious rebirth
He was always so happy
strong and bold.
He'd give you the shirt off of his back.
He had a rough life
growing up through the depression,
but like he always does,
he got through it.
He has two boys, of whom he is so proud.
Moved from Regina, to Victoria.
He had the best life anyone his age could have wanted.
But ever since his wife died,
he has not been the same.
But like he has always done,
he got through it.
just a little forgetful.
That's how it always starts out...
But like always, he powered through it,
He is not the same person that I used to know.
He been sentenced to the prison in his own mind.
Possessed by the thoughts of his dogs ashes.
He likes to play the blame game,
but we know he doesn't remember that it was him.
He wakes up in the night
shaking with pain,
tears streaming down his face.
There is nothing we can do,
Two more tylenol.
Hold on to hope
for as long as you can,
It's only a matter of time now.
He gets vocal, a very loud tone.
He'll block you in your room
and make false accusations
But we know that it's the pain induced monster in him.
Tick tock, tick tock...
You can't handle the stress anymore
you have to leave.
Just hope for the best,
maybe it will get better.
Surprise, it doesn't.
Your denial is foolish, everyone knows
what happens next.
All results of
I’m Physically and Emotionally tired
I don’t want to be the strong one anymore
I can’t this time
I don’t know what to do Daddy
I need your help down here
I can’t get back in control of my emotions
I’m having a hard time dealing with your absence
I’m having a hard time standing by myself
I need your help Daddy
I’m broken and lost without you Daddy
I need your will to want to carry on
I need your strength to over come this
I need your strength to stay standing
Your courage to fight back again
I need your help
Please Daddy I’m at a loss
How am I suppose to do this
I need your guidance
I need you to guide me back
To whom I was before
I need your help Daddy
I need your help
A truth in rage of insult furrows my mind
For it is only an offense given to me by myself
In the mouths of others far innocent than I
I feel the tears trickle down my cheeks
For I have surfaced into an ugly mistake
I am always inadequate in this brain
I try to shine like the advice of grace given
But confidence rarely rears its head my way
There’s a sort of shade blocking its way
A shade that darkens everyday
That very shade led me to believe my feelings are wrong
That I will never belong so long as they are not controlled
I must be careful—for the lines of love and lust run cold
I hate myself truly this night
And no one but myself will give me the right
The very right to degrade my every being
Because you are not seeing what I am seeing
There is no point
My lines run cold
Can I be so bold as to say
I still love with a pang of indistinguishable doubt
All feelings enter in
As my truth blurs and checks out
Your words pierce me so deep
I cannot describe the pain I feel
God it hurts so bad
It can’t be real
Much like the love I have come to embrace
The very love that links to your face
Tears don’t give it justice
It can’t be real
Much like the love I will never face
I never knew following dreams could be this lonely,
But up on the hill, looking back, thank God I'm not the old me.
If the tears will fall, let them be;
I believe this is God's plan, follow your dreams.