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Introspection Teen Poems | Introspection Poems About Teen

These Introspection Teen poems are examples of Introspection poems about Teen. These are the best examples of Introspection Teen poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Details | Rhyme | |

The Hypocritical Christian

I am the hypocritical Christian.
I say I follow Christ,
But I'm still consumed by my demons.
I go to church on Sunday,
But I refuse to invite someone back.
I want to serve on mission,
But I'm too afraid to act.
They think I read The Bible,
But I just fall asleep in it.
They think I'm positivity and smiles,
But underneath I'm death and addictions.
They think I'm clean and pure,
But I'm broken and mistaken.
I say I'm not worthy of His love,
But Jesus will never let me be forsaken.
I pray long prayers,
But inside they're empty repetition.
It might look as if my faith is strong,
But my core is too easily shaken.
I say the things I'm supposed to say,
But don't follow His actions or obey.
I speak the truth the church wants to hear,
But deep inside on matters I don't know what to believe.
I walk in shame as if I'm not good enough
To be loved by God and saved through Christ,
But there is nothing I could ever do to earn His peace;
It's a free gift.
I accept;
Now forgiven, changed, and released.
Thank You God,
Thank You Jesus,
Thank You Holy Spirit!
In Jesus' Holy Name,
We pray,
Amen!


Details | Quatrain | |

Lonely Dreams

I never knew following dreams could be this lonely,
But up on the hill, looking back, thank God I'm not the old me.
If the tears will fall, let them be;
I believe this is God's plan, follow your dreams.


Details | Free verse | |

Legendary Lady Leaders I salute you

I am like
Cleopatra
embraced by serpents many
fear
always trying something new
and dramatic with my
hair
I am like
Eva Patrón
growing up with a painful family
getting lost in movies
thinking of my own
hypnotizing when I speak
First lady of Argentina
meeting you, after death
would be a treat
a nervous habit, of nibbling
on my jewelry
the similarities, between us
gave me a sense of foolery
I am like
Wilma Mankiller
Chief of the Cherokee Tribe
for ten years
fighting against Native stereotypes
despite such distress
enemies did stress
promoting to ‘be of good mind’
you were a leader, of your time
an advocator for women
that they may grow up
and become chief
as a child, you wondered
the forests, like me
not the streets
I am like
Aung San Suu Kyi
wearing three types of 
flowers in your hair
feeling at times like a 
‘splinter of glass, sharp, glinting
power to defend itself against hands
that try to crush’
winner of a Nobel Peace Prize, 
for courage, was
a must
I am like
Catherine The Great
a love to laugh,
coffee, and feeling compelled
to always fill abandoned blank
sheets of paper
you were a Royal Russian Empress,with
not one red drop of Russian blood
and her people, were blessed
to have her
I am like
the Queen of England
longest royal lifetime in history
strong built, from a miserable childhood
toughened her
this is no mystery
preferring candle light
to electricity
handwriting over typewriter
and poetry
I am like
Indira Gandhi
dreaming to live as she did
riding elephants and having
tiger cubs as companions
your own Sikh security
killed you, the story
a sad one
secret dreams of being a writer
angered, by the imbalance of
power
between men and women
listening to beat poets
like Ginsberg
as a great Prime Minister of India 
you were heard
and understood
I am like
Rigoberta Menchú
drew the worlds attention to 
native Indians rights,
because of you
your goal, to be
a drop of water on a rock
dripping in the same spot,
eventually in the world, you
may leave a mark
wearing many colors
‘because it gives you life’
insisting men and women be equals
you fought this fight
to relax, as I do
writing poetry into
 the night
I am like
Joan of Arc
French Military Heroine
burned at the stake at just
age nineteen
known for keeping your cool
even on the battlefield
being a courageous and inspirational
rare jewel
Legendary Lady Leaders
I salute you



Details | I do not know? | |

Blood upon Pages

As I place the pen
on paper
my soul beings
to bleed
upon the pages
my secret longings
hopes and dreams
of which I hope to be,
how I want to reflect me
transpire into the universe
within my poetic lyricism
the warm sweet smoke
of my vega blunt
swirls about me, flickers
in and out of motion
as the vanilla candle nearby
fights the shadows in my room
the cool summer breeze
from my window
carries dancing sinsemilla 
fog around me, allowing
my mind
to adventure elsewhere
into the nights abyss
of minutes, turned to hours
I write
pages, of words
scribbling my life, struggles
and fears
Bob Marley and Lauryn Hills
“turn your lights down low”
beat inspirational peacefulness
on my eardrums
my small hands delicately pluck
my imaginary guitar strings
as I join her in a solo, Miss Hill's
magical voice cracks
with emotion, and my soul
tingles with excitement
For creativity flows
within my veins
I breath real music, such as
she, as soon as daylight opens
thine dark brown eyes to see
The poetic flowetry, carries me
and speaks to me
the notes capture my inner 
disturbance and desires
until the soundtrack of my day
takes me into Summers night
thoughts of my dreams 
of being a published poet
clearly float
into my sight
Then, I sit
as I place my pen
upon the paper
black and white turn to one
and my soul bleeds
onto pages
into an early sun


Details | Free verse | |

Emotional Turbulence

The voices grow louder, Intensifying with emotion, anger lining every aggressive word. My insides squeeze tighter as the vitriol poisons my mind, How does such hostility exist? As the sound of hatred deepens, The feelings strengthen their grip, like a vice, So tight, I can no longer breathe All the negative emotions I have ever felt, fill me, Threatening to overflow. So long have they been banished… Enough. No more! My mouth opens, An earsplitting scream of pain and suffering shatters the silence, Sobs of sorrow and grief wrack my body, Murderous shrieks of anger and hate, Wretched cries of self-pity and self-loathing, Poison the air. Now, free of these emotions. But the monster still exists Within the dark depths of my mind.


Details | Rhyme | |

Panic Room


Here in this room again 
mind’s racing 
the fan on low…

and I’m not to be trusted 
can’t be left alone here
with shot gun temples 
and a soul full of fear

no worse place than now
I can’t yell it more clearly 
I beg for your attention  
but I can’t stand you near me

contradiction swimming
in the blood of my veins
I’d cut off my hands
to send toxins to drain

I’m gutless
yet I’m too gutsy for action
say that in public
imagine the reaction

I sit in whirl pools
but I’ve always hated heat
and claim to take a stand 
but I’m lazy at my seat

and I’m always on time
as I miss the bus again
I lie in your face 
with a devilish grin

I’m harmless 
and swear I didn’t mean it
I talk about my conscience 
still I’ve never seen it 

in a world of swirling confusions
I’m stuck on the spin cycle
madness,
creating contusions
 
my game’s not over
I need a fresh start
I’m begging for new blood 
cus’ I’ve got a good heart


Details | Rhyme | |

FINDING MYSELF



‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘’’’’’’ Angular hips now more round than grapes grieving a little for new voice whispered, swells of flesh curved in plumper shapes while the flow of monthly arrival lingered Almond eyes grew sultry deepening hue baby powder blending into lavender spray this crossover of rebellion I harshly knew, awkwardly choosing between truth or dare-play. Then, nights gazed at sandals of childhood seas toes raking, confused about dissent down path; a ruffled star finding myself sliced by cold trees as Mom screeched at moody blues ready to hatch My mind felt strange; Dad became a fading hero questioning him with glares longer than steam, rude awakenings cracked fears, tears stuck at zero with ripening bosoms; this turning point at thirteen Struggling for identity bloomed in freshman year when tresses climbed on stairs of clumsy romance beguiled by some hunger in my bones, a blushed cheer; exalting the senses, a lady-in-waiting for her first dance. © ‘’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’ For Frank Herrera: Coming of Age By nette onclaud


Details | Rhyme | |

Tell me by Six

I love how we all sit in silence
as the clock begins to strike one
no surrender, we sit here, eyes open
waiting, we're waiting for sun

My fingers, they tap against the table
My thoughts are repeatedly on you
but not a word between us is spoken
and we're still silent as the clock strikes two

By three we're awake but so tired
you're still staring like i'm the one to blame
and maybe it is, but maybe it's you
but i don't speak, we sit here in shame

it's as if i'm sitting with a statue
 as creepy as the creak of the door
so eerie, a ghost sitting across from me
and i'm spooked as the clock strikes four

i can't believe that you haven't spoken
if you loved me then you would speak out
cause now the clock is chiming at five
and if i open up it will be a shout

it's six in the morning, we're restless
i can't believe that i wasted this time
your eyes haven't moved for two hours straight
and all i've got from that night, was this rhyme


Details | Rhyme | |

Sexy

   Sexy is the way 

    her lips move on his ear. 

     Never touching 

      always whispering 

       things I'll never hear.


Details | Pantoum | |

Sands Of Time

I wiggle my toes in the sands of time,
sifting through the grains and the years gone by.
Lamenting those years I was in my prime.
How fast, they seem now, to have flown by.

Sifting through the grains and the years gone by,
I recall the adventures in my life.
How fast they seem now, to have flown by,
through childhood, teen years, to become a wife.

I recall the adventures in my life.
Of scars and bruised ego's, that brought me here,
through childhood, teen years, to become a wife.
It seems I really had nothing to fear.

Of scars and bruised ego's that brought me here,
I realize now how they did mold me.
It seems I really had nothing to fear,
except for a future, I can not see.

I realize now, how they did mold me.
I relive my life, as the scenes unfold,
except for a future I can not see,
yet looking forward, to what my future holds.

Reliving my life, as the scenes unfold,
lamenting those years I was in my prime.
Yet, looking forward to what my future holds,
I wiggle my toes in the sands of time.



Entry for "The Pantoum" contest
Hosted by:  Jared Pickett
Placement:  Honorable Mention


Details | Rhyme | |

Dreams

Imagine that you had something,
Imagine that you had.
Not knowing it would come to be,
But then you might be glad.

Yet now you think what it would do,
Yet now you wouldn't know.
Until you do you never know,
Of how you'd need to grow.

But when a dream does come by,
But when a dream might be.
You need to see what might be true,
And find reality.


Details | Lyric | |

Borderline's Wreckage

I'm Agonizing every Word that my mind Creates You've done this all to me release your wrath to Me You wonder How much a Human Heart can take I've reached the limit You've invaded me on every level none of this is Mine anymore I can't bleed enough for You We're through This, This Torture Homicidal With You Suicidal Without You Feel Free to abuse If it's you I won't lose The Winds push away The Vines pull forth I'm at a lose on what to do So very lost and Confused Don't say we're through Homicidal With You Suicidal Without You I Hate you ...Don't leave me I push you so far away But need you so close I'm on the edge you're all I really need I'll do anything Just don't Abandoned me leaving has it's toll Homicidal With You Suicidal Without You


Details | Lyric | |

Mockingbird Still Sings

Children sexually abused
Hiding secrets none accused 
Mockingbird still sings

False Charities stealing money
Laughing while nothing’s funny
Mockingbird still sings

Corporations shredding evidence
Seas of hypocrisy and decadence
Mockingbird still sings

Cheating partners losing trust
Teens pregnant from a night of lust
Mockingbird still sings

Rape victims ashamed to speak
Lives destroyed remaining meek 
Mockingbird still sings

Middle East raging in war
All for pride nothing more
Mockingbird still sings

Delicate babies addicts born
Crack whore moms selling porn
Mockingbird still sings

Gang bangers need attention
Killing for an honorable mention 
Mockingbird still sings

Fools and vengeance shall expire
For winds of change to transpire
While mockingbird still sings


Details | Free verse | |

You're The Weak One

YOU’RE THE WEAK ONE


You’re the weak one, you’re a bully.  The weak one is definitely
not me.

The bully is always the weak one, but your weakness you can’t
seem to see.

So, I’m going to try to shed a little light on your weak and inappropriate ways.

Your weakness began on your first bullying day.

Your false sense of power is not strength at all; it is a cry for help desperately trying to break through.

I actually feel a little sorry for you.

Weak kids like you always seek to find other kids they can dominate.

Bullies do this with vicious words, inappropriate actions, and misguided hate. 

Is being a weak bully the banner you want to carry for the rest of your life?

Get rid of the bully banner forever; take up a banner that shows respect, 
understanding, and tolerance for others, and always hold that one very high.

	Al Johnson
 


Details | Free verse | |

First Love

We treat it like a marble 

in our pocket for a while 

we win it 

we lose it 

but no matter where it goes 

it always holds 

the warmth of our hands


Details | Free verse | |

Chemistry

The simultaneous effect 
of two glances 
across the last remaining 
distance between them 

Then 
    when first they met 

Now 
    when they are apart 

Each carrying within 
   the beat 
     of the other's heart


Details | I do not know? | |

Epitaph

Remember me
The light that stalked the shadows
Remember me
A moonbeam to soften the night
Remember me
When the gates finally lock
Remember me
After the flowers wilt and fall


Details | Rhyme | |

Broken Wings

  She's split  amongst the two
One a girl unheard of,
Few see little from
  Who gawks at the slivered moon
through blotchy eyes,
Welled up tears as big as moon pies
  The other a girl who holds up her fibs
Conjurring by magic,
A cloak to mask the lies
  Who catches tears before they slip
Neither bangs or pursed lips
Can hide the sadness in her eyes
  Both are placed with broken wings
She pulls her head together and flies
ME; this one note she sings


Details | Free verse | |

Light Divine

Call me Freedom,
For that is my name,
Untamable, wild, 
Not bound by walls or bars

Call me Solitude,
For that is my name,
Quiet, serene,
Comfortable in myself and me

Call me Friend,
For that is my name,
Loyal, trusting,
A shoulder for you to cry on

Call me Scholar,
For that is my name,
Studious, hard working,
Trying to reach the stars

Call me Daughter,
For that is my name,
Respectful, responsible,
You don't have to tell me twice

Call me Philosopher,
For that is my name,
Free-thinking, nonconformist
I reside outside the box

Call me Damaged,
For that is my name,
Broken, beaten,
But I still walk on my own two feet

Call me Artist,
For that is my name,
Creative, unique,
A blank paper is all I need

Call me Child,
For that is my name,
Young, inexperienced,
The world a dangerous place

Call me Warrior,
For that is my name,
Strong, unrelenting,
Limits are no match for my will

Call me Anything,
Call me Everything,
I am Light Divine


Details | Free verse | |

Mirror, Mirror

Mirror, Mirror, 
why are you so cruel, 
Why do you reflect such a figure, 
So sad and insecure. 
Mirror, Mirror, 
what do you need? 
What can I do, 
to make you happy? 
Sweet girl in the mirror, 
who reaches towards me, 
reaches out to touch me, 
but our fingers never meet. 
You smile when I smile, 
But I can see right through, 
I know your pain pretty girl, 
because I feel it too. 
Girl in the mirror, 
what makes you so sad? 
what drives your anger? 
and makes you so mad? 
Sweet girl in the mirror, 
how well you know me, 
I'm sorry that you will never know, 
what its like to be free. 


Details | Free verse | |

About Me Pt. 2

I’m a man of my word,
I always do my best to keep every promise,
and I never make a promise I know I can’t keep
I’ll give you the shirt off my back if you really do need it,
but I’m no humanitarian
I always offer others my help,
but I rarely accept the assistance of others,
because it makes me feel like I’m weak
I am weak,
yet, I’m stronger than I seem
I am a rock star on the inside,
but, physically and mentally, I’m a rock star who has no musical abilities
At times I have self-esteem,
but, I really never do
I’ll say I believe in myself and that I’m happy with what I can do,
but, truth be told,
there’s always that nagging doubt,
the lingering thought,
the dreaded fear of proving myself right,
and confirming the utter worthlessness that I usually find in myself
I overanalyze everything
I’m always thinking about something
I love to watch people
but I hate it when people stare
I am a Christian,
but at times I wonder if God even cares?
then call myself a fool for ever thinking that way,
as I finally see all of the things I take for granted that He’s blessed me with 
everyday
I always wait too late to say what I’m feeling,
or can never seem to find the courage to say it when I want to
With time, I’ve grown too scared to reach for the stars,
to walk out on limbs,
put myself on the line
but, I don’t want to be left behind,
I don’t want to watch those around me grow and become happier,
while I am stuck in misery
I don’t know who I am


Details | Free verse | |

The Evil, The Demon Locked Away Inside My Heart

What do you do with someone who has a black heart?
One so black, that no light can shine through it
What would you do to try to get away?
A potential killer, locked away on the inside
Now seems to be emerging and nothing can stop it
How do you plan on keeping, the devil inside?
You wanted nothing nice of me
Instead, you preferred…that I show you
The evil trapped in my heart…

Why does everyone want to…
See how far they can go with me? I wanna know
So can you please tell me?
Why doesn't anyone appreciate…
The fact that I try to remain sane? I wanna know
So, tell me…

I don’t fight much anymore like I used to
Just because the sight of blood excites me
I would fight to the death, if I could…
I've nearly killed a few of my friends when in rage
And a few times, little children as well
But I'm afraid of what I can do
That is why, I became an outcast…
Just to prevent such a thing…from happening again
Now why did you bring it out again?

Why does everyone want to…
See the evil, the demon in my heart? I wanna know
So, you better tell me
Why do you act like the rest of them?
Did you want to see me insane? I wanna know
Do you wanna die?

Everyone…doesn't deserve
To be treated with kindness…nor respect
For that matter, so why try?

Why does everyone want to…
Be caught up in the darkness? I wanna know
And you better tell me
I won't waste my time with you all
To me it seems that you want to go to hell. I wanna know
Do you plan on joining me?


Details | Free verse | |

About Me Pt. 1

What can I say about me that you can’t learn within a day?
I was born to be a hopeless romantic,
except I never have any romance in my life
I am a gentleman,
I take my chivalry seriously
I want someone to hold and never let go of,
I want someone who will be there
I want someone who will tell me everything will be okay
I want someone to hold my hand
I find myself surrounded by beautiful girls,
but they always seem to find happiness in somebody else
I’m great at reading the negative signs
I’m terrible at reading the positive ones
I always misinterpret friendship for attraction
or vice versa out of fear of rejection,
out of fear of being mistaken, yet again
I am always, just a friend
I am blessed with the best friends in the world
but, I fear, I might turn my back on them to some extent over a girl
I’m afraid my friends will disappear
finally realizing I’m not worth keeping
finally seeing what I see in myself
but, I hope and pray that they never do
Far too often I wonder
I wonder if I died, if anybody would really care?
I wonder if anybody would really miss me like they say they would were I not 
there?
I’m smarter than I’ll admit,
but I still fear I’m not smart enough
I’m afraid I’ll never reach my goals
I’m afraid I’ll never graduate from college,
become a doctor,
meet that one special girl,
and start a family of my own
I’m afraid to let myself down,
but I’m even more afraid of letting down others
I am a people pleaser,
but I’m not sure if I ever really please many people 
I like knowing what’s around the bend,
but I don’t enjoy monotony 
or spoiled endings
I enjoy having fun,
but I enjoy being serious
I’m easily amused
but I hate stupid things
I write best when I’m depressed,
but I hate feeling that way
Yet I love writing so much,
I just can’t win


Details | Free verse | |

Generic Minds

generic minds listen to generic music
have generic thoughts that are unknowingly abusive
watch generic things talk about generic things
gee this generic *****is spreading like a disease
better get your flu shot 
thats what they said to me
a suicidal vaccine 
a subliminal killing spree
its contagious and the outrageous
thing about it is that the people are blind in an eye
that they didn't even know they had
it's sickening to watch these clueless civilians 
inside the looking glass
with nightmares of being free
without a key to their mind
for it is trapped in the frequency
in the illusion of time
bathed in our universe
killing all that refuse to see
those that admit to hypocracy
or see the message in hip hop
how cant you see
the message in the lyrics that
bring adolescents to their knees
from bullet wounds conflicting their flesh
contradicting that they're the best
but the songs keep telling them that they dont need no rest
that they dont wanna go home
that they should ride alone
with the gat as their only companion
and so the only path they choose is the one that they're told
until they grow old and hope turns to a window pane
inside a window pane, until all they feel is pain
they realize that the music itself is ashamed
so whats to look up to
when you cant even speak when you cant even walk because you look so bleak
your eyes are sunken from the tv you're infested with the dee zees
now its too late to turn around and live for your conscious
so when youre screaming oh please
close your eyes and bring your mind to life
open your eyes for the first time
and never wonder why
since the answer this entire time
has been inside
and you better find it before you die
you dont want your soul to be in a pool with all the others
a buncha brothers missing their mothers
but only seeing strangers
only feeling the haters
wishing they would have used their minds when they had them
and now its too late,
now it's time for another new born fate to grab them


Details | Senryu | |

About the girl in my math class whose name I'm not brave enough to ask - Love

I see no numbers
hers is the only figure
she's my addition


Details | Lyric | |

Solipsist

Let the Deicide commence.

You're a voyeur at best!
Your vampiric heart is beating out of your chest!
And you have slayed the ones whom would love you for anything less
Ready to consume the final fragments of innocence,
And for you there is no forgiveness,
On your knees pleading, screaming to a tyrant in the skies;
The father of lies.

I will never be enslaved in your superiority
The people agree: jaded of your false dichotomies.
Know: I will be whomever nature intends to be
Apollo and I will share our dreams,
and you will be forced to see
your failure!

I know who you are...
Readily the first to present your scars
Chained by some despot or mental czar
An emotional homunculus in your mind, behind bars
Reluctant to escape - even when proven fake
Your demented mind - depths no one will penetrate!
 
...And you see me suffering
Not caring of any casualties
Just as long you recieve your safeguard of sympathy
So very wary of the masses and their Anarchy; Liberious ways

Solipsist - Is there no one you can see?
Even if she was presented burning?
Solipsist - Is there no one you can believe?
Even if Sophia was screaming?
Solipsist - Know you have killed and abused me
Imprisoned in your own  personal reality 




Details | Rhyme | |

Our Country's Soul Is Being Torn Apart


Our Country’s Soul Is Being “Torn Apart”

The very soul of America is being “torn apart.”
It’s a problem that’s striking at our very heart.

There’s a “blowing wind.”  A “time for change.”
As the country’s moral fabric is being “rearranged.”

As many question what the true meaning of life is for…
Many don’t seem to know what’s wrong or right anymore!

As so much pornography is allowed into our homes…
The moral decay is “eating” right at “the bones.”

Many have a hard time “defining what marriage is.”
So many are really “messed up” in how they live!

The news seems to be “fascinated” by man’s depravity…
Leaving a huge vacuum of a monstrous “moral cavity.”

Many who attend church want what’s
 “soothing to their ears.”
A God of holiness and righteousness
 is what they “fear!”

As we look around as to what our society is becoming…
God’s judgement is soon!  It is surely coming!

We must come back and leave all of our “false idols!”
We must come back to the God of the Bible!

Jesus must be our cord of love the forever binds!
It’s only in him can we find true love for our minds!

It’s only in Jesus that we can find a purpose and meaning!
It’s only in him that we need to put our
 trust and start believing!

He is and always will be the right choice to be taken…
Without him, our country’s is “doomed and forsaken.”

He brings healing and righteousness
“beneath his wings…
He is what we truly need!  
He is our EVERYTHING!

By Jim Pemberton


Details | Rhyme | |

CRITICIZING TEENS

This is another age of amazing discovery,
and teens are drown into its magical light
by taking giant steps to keep up with technology;
and yet older folks stare at them with fright.


I won't get angry, or laugh at them and criticize, 
but they do certain things that aren't allowed;
parents don't provoke your children to anger, understand...
by giving them space to breath, to think they doing wrong;
weren't we the same rebelling against them by playing that song
too loud and slamming the door and not  taking their advice?


Here's my dislikes: teens, put away those iPods for a few hours:
read a good book and watch educational TV programs;
hang out with good friends who don't drink, curse or smoke pot,
and in the long run, you see things in a new prospective and learn a lot!






Details | Dramatic monologue | |

To a Dead Man

You Drive me into this Malice, into this Maze I can only see the last of days Your Creation Failed With Me Burn with malice as you bridge to the plains of ennui


Details | Lyric | |

Lacerated Wings

They are bound to the Earth like trees
Suffocating under the weight of an icy grave 
Reaching to be free, but only their limbs are seen
Hoping that one day someone will see:
They can't escape with lacerated wings

The ocean surrounds me, covering everything
Nothing will be clearly seen; confusion overwhelming
No-one can save you, you're on your own, left to die
Manipulating every bleeding heart you can find
I can't escape with lacerated wings.

Swarms of nets, waves of screams 
Entangle: your captive illusions and dreams
The mask has be seared - The truth now they see
The Liar - Vampiric Fiend; lowly thief
And now they know you can't escape with Lacerated Wings

There's reasons for your rejections:
Your Heavy heart's transferred oppression
The scars are too deep to pass the trials
But you can find peace in your cage of empty spirals
You Cannot Escape With Lacerated Wings


Details | Free verse | |

Murderapolis Streets, Claim Two More Young Heartbeats

Native, Liteskin, sun kissed
smiles
sit, talk, get to know me 
a while
for I am not my skin and 
even though the tan pigment
runs deep
I am my heart, thoughts
and actions,reflection of
company
I keep
A car accident took
my Homies brother this morning
and as we sit and talk to him
now, through faded room mourning
Young man, stole pop’s keys
from sleeping pockets
joy riding with friends
headlights beaming, MN
summer star sky gleaming
Dad's unaware, boy & friends left
 till woke, by early morn’ meeting
God opened the skies and took
two good ones away
I felt it rained, clouds crying briefly
for them today
70 miles an hour, Murderapolis streets
took two good homies heartbeats
jus’ a mile away, a close
friend heard the tires screech
Driver yells to him, “get a knife & cut me out!”
Neighbor, like doe eyes in headlights
filled with doubt
ends up dying after all
at the hospital
down 29th Ave and McKinley St.
Two of the Five Souls involved
God, now, does keep
I recall seeing the drivers smile
less than one week ago
why Mista Watkins & White Jr.
was it yo’ time to go
your loved ones may never know
We don’t always understand
the Lords plan
but He surely knows
heartache and sorrow
is how July fourteenth does go
two significant young Southside sons 
at 3:30 am, drove into a utility pole
crushed glass ridden streets
two homies, with us no mo’
I pray Jesus be with them
and theirs
as they grieve, and friends
surround them with the love
they need
car accidents & tragedies
like these
close to home to you
tend to place things in perspective
defrost a persons mind
set it into view
cuz’ its not about the color, of
your skin, or where you came from
it’s the way you impact the world
in the end, who you’ve grown to
become
the lives lost, were good peoples
Stood for good values like Church steeples
vibrant athletic youths of the future
barely 14 & 17, gone too soon
I hear the sad, cry, lonely night of our
Loon
Murderapolis streets, claim
two more young heartbeats
you will forever be remembered
and loved, keep an eye on us
from above, we know you’re
in a better place, were all running
an impossible to win race
for we all have a time card to punch
under the Lords undying grace
your Influence and charm, young men
is locked within us
Safe
and we shall all party again
in the Kingdom of Heaven
our final resting Place

7/15/2010: R.I.P.- Patrick Watkins (17) & Duane White Jr. (14)- South Side, Minneapolis, MN
you are forever loved and missed, but not forgotten, watch us from Heaven, Amen


Details | Haiku | |

Strong Tears

Because tears are meant
To be a symbol of strength
Even in hard days.


Details | Free verse | |

Bravery

It's not a lesson to be taught
Or a skill to be acquired
It's the nudge to move forward
Open when the time is right
It's the spirit inside
God leading on the way
On the journey to discover
He is all you need
It's the courage to let go
Say yes instead of no
Reveal what you've been holding back
As Jesus takes the wheel
It's the realization that it doesn't matter
What others think of you
God leads you where you're meant to be
Just allow you to be you
It's the standing up to fear
Proclaiming "fear's not gonna win!"
The battle has been fought too long
Time to let the stalemate end
It's the inspiration you've been holding
For others and for yourself
The light we've been dimming
Rather than shining on His behalf
It's the spontaneity in the decision
To follow His call all the way
Discovering peace in being you
Wide open as the perfect creation you are
The world out there is brutal
But there's a Holy Man holding out His Hand
His bravery now is all we have
But His bravery of love is all we need
May God bless you!


Details | Ballad | |

Antigone

I am the face of misery
My life, a dissonance of autumn and spring,
The years are written in the same
Lugubrious, nostalgic grey
How can it be the author to blame?
I cannot scream this all away…
Burn nor Bleed this all away…
To Death I am Ordained

Lacuna ever growing
With Velvet sheets of life flowing
Aeons apart of my "royalty"
Under the mask the cannot see...
Can you dispel this tragedy:
Antigone - Epiphany failing

If it must be…
Then just kill me,
(Antigone) sing me out of reality;
I wear this dissonant crown of shame
(Antigone) Of a kingdom's disdain
I hate to be this way... normalcy's bane
(Antigone) Here comes the edict, to blame
The sordid child of Thebes,
This is me,
Antigone

No words of hope
No words of hate
Do I have Lenore to send to me:
The sordid child of Thebes
Caught In the longest nightmare
life - the slowest way to die

I know this is my life 
But I'm not under control
under the mask the will see
Just Another Human

If it must be…
Then just kill me,
(Antigone) sing me out of reality;
I wear this dissonant crown of shame
(Antigone) Of a kingdom's disdain
I hate to be this way... normalcy's bane
(Antigone) Here comes the edict, to blame
The sordid child of Thebes,
This is me,
Antigone

If it must be…
Then just kill me,
(Antigone) sing me out of reality;
I wear this dissonant crown of shame
(Antigone) Of a kingdom's disdain
I hate to be this way... normalcy's bane
(Antigone) Here comes the edict, to blame
The sordid child of Thebes,
This is me,
Antigone

Can you dispel my life; this tragedy?
Can you control the storm in my mind?
I'm asking you: can you rid me
Of The Curse of Antigone?


Details | Free verse | |

Daybreak

I wake on the sand
Right near the beach
You have yet to awake
Far out of reach
And Daybreak has arrived
A beauty unlike any other
Comparable only to us, girl
And how we love each other

So I gaze up alone
Marveling up at the sky
The warmth of the sun
Drying my eyes
I'm reflecting on us
Oh how each other we trust
I'm just so happy we're together
And I think to myself,
Just as this sun, we'll last forever

Then returning to be with you
I lay again now
Place my hand gently
On your warm tender shoulder
While I think of our lives today, love
And how they'll be when we're older...
I know there'd be no other way
So "I Love You" I make sure I say
To you, each and everyday


Details | Carpe Diem | |

SUBLIME

Sublime
I've been shedding snakeskin...
so blind
I've been destroying the noise
my worst enemy

Deconstructing my identity 
soaking shoulder deep
in oceans of humility 
feasting upon fruits of tranquility

breaking shackles  
freeing ankles
from bloody mud puddles 
razor blade anxiety

rising to a  place 
where yesterday 
flees irrelevant 
tomorrow
is insufficient 

Yet
this moment 
of SUBLIMITY
right now...
forever remains
a fearless paradise


Details | Free verse | |

My 3AM Wake Up Call

You’re a 3AM
Wake up call
With another sob story
About the latest boy 
Who pumped you
Then dumped you
And left you 
In a sweaty lonely pile
Upon another 
Empty bed

And you cry 
Baby girl tears 
All over my phone
And you wonder why handsome
Boys
With shining white  teeth
With full heads of curly black hair
With six-pack stomachs
And  tight muscular
Rear ends 
Can not be more like 
Mature 
Older 
Men

“Just like you,” 
Baby girl says
“Just like you.”

And you cry 
Baby girl tears 
All over my phone
And you wonder why reckless
Boys
Who party all night
Who down countless vodka shots
Who shout “muthafukka,” “dude,” "beotch,"
And other raucous
Victory chants
Can not be more like
Mature 
Older 
Men

“Just like you,” 
Baby girl says
“Just like you.”

You want me to empathize
You want me to criticize
The nasty boys 
Who took you for another 
Cruel and pointless ride

You want me to father you 
In a way he never did

But I’m sorry
Baby girl
I’m sorry

I can’t

Because I admire and envy those 
Boys
In the prime of their life
Not yet defeated
Not yet haunted
Not yet beaten 
By the disappointments that
Await

They are a national treasure
A precious resource

From the exuberant crude shouts of
Irrational wild boys
Come the builders of shelter
The providers of sustenance
The conquerors of enemies
The explorers of frontiers

From the exuberant crude shouts of
Irrational boys
Come the daring adventurers
The first one into the burning house
The last one out of the burning house
The one still standing when everybody else
Fled

From the insatiable loins of such
Irrational wild boys
Come the fierce wild girls
Who dance insanely upon tables
Who run naked through the streets
Who make love without limits
In open fields
Upon damp grass
All through the night

From the insatiable loins  of such
Irrational wild boys
Come the fierce wild girls
Who cat-fight for their lover
Who kill for their children
Who wail passionately for their dead

From such boys
Baby girl
From such boys

You were born into the world

My crazy baby girl
You were born into the world
Like father, like daughter

And if I could be that young wild boy 
Again
The one that you hate
And love
In such a maniacal way

It would be an honor to be with you

An honor to hold you
An honor to love you

Until my dying day.


Details | Free verse | |

Draconian II

[The Puppeteer]
The storm I see you in
Caught in the race of Caïn
Held by the arms you cannot see--the conducter of Ennui 
-No stronger than the void you hold within-
It began with a hope, an obsession
Casted into, slavery of repugnant possessions 
Granted by, the Avaricious Lords, the ones we serve for
-They Told Us to pray, hope, away from despair, the despair caused by their immaculate Hands
Malice, envy, greed, was granted to me, The Feudal Dream, we want to be Them, just like him
-just how he solaces us, ambivalent hope, engendering knives to my throat 

[The Fall]
In this Valley of morning and weeping
Love lies bleeding, in desperate fear
With their talons, the hunt to rip out thy heart 
As each velvet petal falls apart
Her body chained in their bile and lies, covered with their red-spy
-sent just to check if our souls are in line, do not defy 
Her blood velvet and pure, drips away with innocence of the amber guardian 
The soil of plagues, beggars, and graves
Is know her home, the coven of solace
Though the seed has died--resurrection Is near passing through death's fear
One stronger than you--and thy funeral skies
She is alive--anew
But the vapors still remain
The Apocalypse is here, do we fear?
Just for the death of our sins
Elysia never Seemed so far away

[Our Damnation]
Solitary ruins, Fulfill their visions
We strayed far from the depths within 
We all lingered to his solace--lies
-you make the sign everyday, but lack toknow the name
We are just the toys, he pulls all of the strings
We are nothing in this burning world
of Decadence, and Failed Semblance

[Draconian] 
Draconian--Reach for the shadows within
Draconian--Break from the Fallen's son
Draconian--Their empirical lies, only die
Draconian--Reach the shadows within


Details | Tanka | |

No turning back

A Mothers Meditation

I taught her better.
I didn’t want this for her
She’s followed my tracks
Look at her, life is ruined
She knows not what she’s done


	The Daughters Disposition

	Wow, what did I do?
	I can’t bear the pain she flaunts
	Her disappointment…
	Stings… like a swift kick inside
	What on earth was I thinking?


A Teen Dad’s Train of Thought

Did I? I didn’t!
It wouldn’t have felt as good…
She took the pill right?
What if, she was with other guys?
What do I tell my parents?

"Studies and surveys of young teen males show they are worried the pleasure 
experienced during intercourse will diminish with the use of a condom."
Source: http://www.pregnantteenhelp.org/statistics/teen-condom-use-statistics/

©
All rights reserved
Contest: Mom, I’M PREGNANT!
05/19/2011


Details | I do not know? | |

'Give me drink, rest, and solitude'

Give me drink, rest, and solitude--
these are all the things I long for.
Give me as well your finest food
and I'll ask of you, lass, no more!

My bonnie lass, what's the matter--
why are you all sorry and alone?
Don't be sad because you're fatter
than most, lass, for love loves its own.

Sweet lass, I'll tell you a secret.
If I were a young lad again,
I'd pursue you without regret!
But as I am three-score and ten

years old, indeed, I can never
be the youthful lad you most need.
But your pain won't be for ever:
for your heart will refuse to bleed.




Details | Free verse | |

Porn No More

I've watched the war from behind closed doors;
Eyes too glued to close.
And now knowing what's in store, there's porn no more.
God's love is the only hope we know.
We are forgiven because of the love that is Jesus.
We are saved because of the love that is Jesus.
We give our lives to the Father for we are His children and He loves us.
We are loved!
No matter what we've done, we are loved!
Confess and ask for forgiveness;
This is such a beautiful gift!
Thank You God!
Thank You Jesus!
You forgive me!
You save me!
You change me!
I am changed!
I am new!
I am renewed!
I am forgiven!
I am saved!
I am changed!
There's porn no more
For God's hope is in store!
There's porn no more
For God's love is the hope of the world!


Details | Rhyme | |

The Risk of Choice

It would be too easy to not believe
And not have faith in all He wants us to see.
But I don't want to risk my life being saved
Because of a choice I was refusing to make.


Details | Free verse | |

Where The Next Dollar Will Come From

I'm worried where the next dollar will come from.
Will she ever arrive?
Will she ever show up?
But why am I worrying?
Stop it!
It's all in God's Great Hands!
It's all under God's control!
It's all within His plans!
It's all His
And He will provide
Because He is our Father!
He loves us!
It's all His!
Trust Him!
I know it's difficult;
He will not lead you wrong.
He knows where you need to go.
He knows what you need to endure.
It's all His plan.
It's all in His Hands!
Lay down your life;
Give the control.
He is in control!
Thank You Father!
Trust Him!
It will all be okay!
Trust Him!
Thank You God!
Thank You Jesus!
Thank You Holy Spirit!
I love You always!
I trust You always!
I trust You!
I trust You!
Yes, yes I do!
I trust You!
I love You!
Amen!


Details | Free verse | |

Laughter Cherished

.
Once when heading up VBS
Money was very scarce
Funding deficient
Sanity chances gone
Survival questionable

While looking for something fun to entertain
On a shelf sitting quietly 
A half-gallon jug
Which contained magic elixir_slimmy_soapy
Bubbles trapped in plastic

All this mixture needed was two teenage girls
Who had oversupply of energy
To create bubbles in multiples
These bubbles for little ones to chase_burst
And want more to chase again

Many bubble memories of happiness
As those little ones did play
But the best memory is of those teenage helpers
Laughing as bubbles they did make

In honor of Debbie Guzzi's Bubbles contest...


Details | Rhyme | |

America Is Being DESTROYED From Within

 

As sin and perversion often become integrated… So many lives and families are being “disintegrated.” Many are being driven by sin’s temptation force… It’s no wonder much of this country is way “off course.” The morality and values that once made a great nation. Are evaporating…. Leading to a “spiritual separation.” Love, honor, and respect of God… Is often a “thing of the past.” Anything of God seems to be disappearing FAST! God is our only hope! And him alone! Only he can bring healing to our broken homes! He’s the answer to this wounded nation, that bleeds! It’s only God that can meet all of our needs! He’s our provider… The great: “I am!” Won’t you reach out to him? And give him your hand? Why not give him a chance? And allow him in? A brand new life for you… Is waiting to begin! May we allow God’s holiness and love to reach down into our hearts… Asking; “Lord please forgive our sins!” Is a good place to start! By Jim Pemberton


Details | Senryu | |

' Golden Harvest ... ' 40th Senryu

    Golden, Full Moon Shone
On All The Harvest, That’s Grown
    Welcome In Our Home


Details | Free verse | |

Jesus, Please Take Over Me

You've fallen down again;
How can you let darkness win?
You just scraped your knee,
You didn't break your leg.
It will all be okay;
I will give you strength.
Brush it off, my child;
Come and take my hand.
Let me help you up again;
You will be okay.
I have always been with you,
And I always will be.
I am by your side,
But this time,
Will you allow me to take the lead?


Details | Rhyme | |

The halo effect

If there is one thing I remember
It is what life told
Just open your eyes
All that glisters may not be gold
So who is to blame and whose fault I hold
The halo effect, the one in disguise
Manifesting deception in front of thy eyes
Treat one different because of their look
Why read? Judge the cover of the book?
But you do read others because they don’t have the look
If you understand, how long has it took?
The halo effect, we magnify a trait
Condone the flaws, we magnify a trait
Attractiveness, is this what you mean?
All this talk, my perception a feign?
What I see, aint what it seem?
Huh, thanks for this, as well as that.
The halo effect, my mind was hacked. 


Details | I do not know? | |

I am...

I am a poet writing of my pain
I am a person living a life of shame
I am your daughter, hiding my depression
I am your sister, striving to make a great impression
I am your friend acting like I'm fine
I am a dreamer, wishing this life, wasn't mine
I am a girl who struggles with suicide
I am a teenager, pushing her tears aside







Side note: (Writing for other ladies out there, not so much myself, so don't worry about me)


Details | I do not know? | |

If Silence Was a Language

If Silence Was a Language

If silence was a language you could understand, 
You would hear me shouting, screaming, announcing for all to hear, 
‘I LOVE YOU!!!’

If silence was a language you could understand,
You would hear me praising you, declaring with each silent look,
‘I’m proud of you’, ‘I trust you’, ‘I believe in you.’

If silence was a language that you could understand,
You would hear me cheering you on, as with each new experience or season,
‘You can do this’, ‘You’ve got what it takes’, ‘I’m here if you need me.’

If silence was a language you were fluent in,
You’d catch the nuanced meaning, the subtle expression of respect,
Behind each silent day that goes by, so as not to distract with clumsy words.

But, just maybe, silence IS a language you can understand,
And you DO hear me, loving you, praising you, respecting you,
Trusting and believing in you, cheering you on and standing behind you.

Of course, silence is a language so often misunderstood or completely overlooked, 
Drowned out by the clamor of busy lives, of many words, 
Or whirling thoughts that make it hard to listen.

So, I risk a bit of repetition by stating plainly, in words that even I can understand,
That you are precious in my eyes, a jewel of great worth,
A daughter that makes me so very proud to be called your father. I love you!





Details | Quatrain | |

Cherish

We will cherish these moments
Because they are few,
But please always remember
I will always love you.


Details | Sonnet | |

Generation XXX

Generation XXX
(Another Name for Gen Y(My Generation)

Beer goggles and Whiskey Rivers,
Pain numbing remedies that exude depression,
Marijuana oxygen and pain killer shivers,
Innocent faces with devilish expression,
Blood red eyes with cocaine explanations,
White lies, cooked up in haste, 
For the aforementioned, sell your feelings for a taste!

Young lady, young lady, impossible to find,
What has become of “Daddy’s Little Girl?”
Grew up as billboard, all body and no mind,
Succumbed to degradation just to fit in this world,
Princess? No More!
With bitter wounds and sans support,
Responds to “bxxch” labeled as “whore”
Sex for poison and sex for sport!

Young man, young man, could you bear to walk alone?
With choreographed legs and clay molded spine?
Quoting the majority, speaking with your friends’ tone,
Holding onto shirttails while blindly disregarding lines,
Unprotected sex just to help you feel alive,
Forced to buy diapers with the pennies you have earned,
From one into intoxicated night you did not want to be deprived,
Came a baby by a girl whose name you had to learn!

Young lady, Young man, both working like a slave,
To provide for a family that neither wished to know,
They scream as their dreams get sealed within a grave,
Essential sacrifices because the baby has to grow,
A self-destructive generation, corrupted and vexed,
Generation Y, is Generation XXX


Details | Free verse | |

Life Can Be Cruel

I cannot get into heaven
God I have tried!
Suicide is a double edge sword
Especially when you survive!
Walking the streets at night
Dazed and confused
Longing to be loved
Wondering...
When is Mum, coming for me?

"Does she still love me?"
"Does she still care?"
"Does she still think of me?"
"Does she wonder, where I am?"

I want her to come find me
I want her to say she 'loves me’
I want her to comfort me
I want her to take me home
And keep me safe
And not forget hat I exist
Like the way she treats me now

I wish God 
Could make my Mum
Magically appear
Making this hellish nightmare
On the street
Disappear!

“Send my Mum please!”
So, all this can end!
Before this last ray of hope
Diminishes for good!

I don’t want to become
The walking dead
Forever forgotten as if 
I was never born!
For this is the cruel, harsh reality
Of living life, feeling unloved
Uncared for, abandoned,
Left to fend for my own

A dangerous killer inside me
Eating away, at my soul
Something, no one can see
As I suffer in silence
My insides crippling!

Lost, alone and frightened
Weeping on a dirty
Graffiti park bench
Dirty tears
Rolling down my cheeks
Stuffing newspapers under my jumper
To keep myself warm

“What am I going to do?”

“Will I make it through the night?”
“Will I get raped and beaten?”
"Will I be left for dead?”
“Will I survive
To see another day?

“Is my life worth living?”

Please God, I beg of you
Have mercy now
Please show me the way!


Details | Personification | |

Elvina, the elusive slyph

this poem is dedicated to Elvina Kuchukova

thy power over wood and water lead me to springs untainted thy music is a bath for the mind thy art is a balm for the eyes oh Elvina you elusive slyph, where shall we meet next? Elvina i long to see your face again with thy hair black as midnight flowing like a river thy face angles like an elf with patience to match thy gentel words show thou troubles and scars yet to my eyes they beauty is everlasting Elvina i thank you thy skin is scarred with lines of flame the burning knife that scarred your skin is no deterent to me for i know the troubles other cause you strength has saved me from the burning knife for this Elvina i thank you you have saved me from myself for this Elvina i thank you may we meet again


Details | Free verse | |

Freedom in Love

Keeping my head up, treading water
Cut throat surviving, struggling
Going under, death visits
Will to live, tested!
Selfishness Vs Selflessness
A Greater Love, encompasses me
God demonstrating mercy, for his children
Learning about forgiveness, cultivating, inner faith
Melody of Love, one can experience
In the darkest, waking hours, of everyday living
Self survival, learning how to live
Peace of Mind, Peace of Heart
Peaceful Spirit, Freedom in Love


Details | Free verse | |

The Light

They praise me like a saint,
But I am a sinner;
They don't know the man they see.
I am an addict.
Broken eyes to pornography,
Only Jesus can set me free.
Only by His death on the cross
And the grace of His Father's love
Am I able to be set free.
With God as The Light,
The One and Only Light,
The Only Hope in sight,
Will I be set free.
I am free.


Details | Lyric | |

-------------------------The Soul I Sold------------


If I seem down forgive me Frowns I carry around live in me When I break you see right through me GIVE BACK THE SOUL I SOLD... The hurt I’ve learned brews in me GIVE BACK THE SOUL I SOLD... Your words so true renew me If only you'd re-design me Take time rewind refine me Recreate the mold without lies I’ve told... GIVE BACK THE SOUL I SOLD... The hurt I’ve learned brews in me GIVE BACK THE SOUL I SOLD....


Details | Rhyme | |

Overcome

I picked up a penny face-down,
But I don't believe in luck.
Everything happens for a reason;
God's mercy frees the stuck.
Redeem me, Heavenly Father;
Please, I know the wrong I've done.
Thank You for dying for me;
My sins You have overcome!


Details | Rhyme | |

Cracked Out

                       

                       i crack smiles
                                         and lie to use it
                       i run for miles
                                          just to refuse it
                       i chase my mind
                                           each time I choose it
                       i bite my tongue
                                            so not to chew it
                       i hold my breath
                                            so they'll excuse it
                       i hide my skin
                                            again
                                            I've bruised it
                       i admit 
                                  within 
                                            it's been confusing


                                                           ~ JSLambert


Details | Free verse | |

Love Built By God Above

You are in my heart wherever I go;
You I will never let go.
You are with me always;
You I am always.
This is love.
Build by God above,
This is love.


Details | Ballad | |

CHILD UNBORN

On a cold and bleak November day in a lonely
Deserted place a child unborn in its sanctuary
Lies asleep like a bud soon to bloom
A sacred gift, priceless, unique 
For a world that is rapidly dying

On a cold and bleak November day 
A mother's scent will it ever know
No special bond with another soul
No joyful offering of 'thanks', nor smiles, 
Nor welcome kisses that warm the heart


On a cold and bleak November day, the sky 
Draped in blankets of gray, hung low 
Over the horizon marked by fresh-fallen snow
An innocent life is taken in some unholy place
As consciences lay bound and silenced

On a cold and bleak November day, 
Freewill, once more misused, hovered 
In the shadows abused and clothed in shame 
Bore witness to one of many horrors   
The deliberate murder of the Innocents

On a cold and bleak November day a  hush  falls over Heaven
The Son of God pleads mercy as He alone dares to speak
God looks upon His only Son, once again, His anger subsides 
A new day is ordained-another chance to choose
A priceless gift to save the world some cold bleak day
 


Details | Free verse | |

These Walls I Built

Stuck in the prison of my own life,
I dodge behind these walls I built.
And inside is a demon covered in guilt
And shame so thick you can't see his eyes.
God, please help me to see
No matter what, You will always love and be with me.
Thank You Father for everything.
In Jesus' Name,
We pray.
Amen.


Details | Free verse | |

The Fear

The Aphotic rays reach higher
And shame, shade reigns over all
Lacuna, Apathy is all I feel as I fall into the ashed grave
I'm living, the slowest way to die
Elysia, rapture where are you now

What will I do when the flame is extinguished 
What will I do when I drown in ash
What will I do when they sing my name in funeral dirges 
How can this be all, one short organic vitality
Scares to die, but afraid of a new day

Scared to die, but so afraid of a new day
Will I Ressructe to Paradise, burn in Hell, or lay in Sheol
Is this a there is, one feather, to the dirge
My life so long - my suffering grows
Scared to die, but so afraid of a new day

In all of the ashes, a flame begins
Once again, here I am
Living, the slowest way to die


Details | Free verse | |

This Is The Love

Stand up and shake;
Feel the rhythm in your heart.
Ignite those pants;
We get up and dance.
God on our mind,
Eternity in our souls;
Feel the chills of those bones.
It's the hope.
Open those closed doors:
Into Heaven we go,
Welcomed and forgiven.
Here is the love;
Let's dance!


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

No Parachutes,safety nets,souls,or hope

Love is whispered and not forgotten
If this be so
I deaf to soft lipped invitations seek no thought of hope
I of no past collection hold thought
To forget is gruesome and beautiful

My eyes, swift allies in my war of world tell no lies

Silent in the 4 walled chalkboard blue
Shakespearean mad men twist their tongues with words of bland hue

I believe the concept of Ugliness is more profound than that of beauty
Dreams of my bladed face fill up behind my eyes...scratching my mind

Nothing goes SURPRISE! anymore
To love and lose is not the exciting protagonist to never having lost love

the optimists run in circles
pretenders of despair hunt themselves

Every street is Desolation row and my window is covered with blood

Nothing comforts anything
No advice

....just surprises


Details | Rhyme | |

Looking Down From 41 Above

Looking down from 41 above,
I only wish I was below.
The sights and sounds so clear to see
Glitz as white as snow.
The lights are distant to the mountains
And the cabs travel around.
The brightest city in the world
Beams into the heart of this little town.
God please give me the grace to see
You are all I need.


Details | Free verse | |

Adolescent Angst

The knowledge that I am
is not.
Like an hallucination,
I am
nothing more than
a name --
a designation of something
that is
yet to be.

The future must unfold
all that
I become in later years.
For now, 
I know not why,
or, perhaps,
even that I do
exist....


Details | ABC | |

my son (by kimmy holmes, my daughter)

You're too much for me
Your smile, attitude
It's too beautiful
My sweet child
I am so glad
you are better than me
I miss you when you are away

being better than me 
or your father

I know you are a visionary
you are a professor
you will somehow
make it sing


Details | Haiku | |

Y-DUH , Captcha Haiku

Y-DUH reads CAPTCHA
blank mind blonde moment silent
world spin round right round


Details | Free verse | |

Stuck In The Struggle

Sometimes I get stuck in the struggle
And I forget that this life is real,
Full of real love,
Full of real people,
Full of real strength,
Full of real faith.
Look around
Because this is real.
Welcome to reality;
This is God's amazing life!


Details | Free verse | |

I Have The Evil of You

I have the evil of you
Caught in my hands, entangled
Like the arabesques of Eden's vines
Just like paradise, but why should shame remain
Singeing like immolation of Peter's Inferno
These reddish-purple chains convolute myself
as the grapples shoot out from the clouds
both below, above me
The self-lovelust propelling 
You did this - these plagues
You drag me down - to your cage
Cadaver Vampire - I am your slave



Details | Prose Poetry | |

sober

                                            s o b e r...
The fuse burns the skin; 'till years disappear in the sear. Those scars allow us to be who we are - - - urging us to bleed truth- - -  so we can speed through the blues----- fueling us with the go, the giddy up to show, with each blow we grow,---and we Leggo our Ego -------just so the doubters we encounter shout louder and louder--- tho' they ain't got a clue as to who... or what we're about, or the journey of pain ballooning our veins with insane clout-------- and we wish upon a trouble free time to be near, yet it's far...- - - like the stars in the sky----...---sobering the view...while we drink the abuse------Still, the lit fuse burns the years till our fears cry.-____so hopefully, we learn from the scars when our tears dry.


Details | Free verse | |

midnight projection of sunrise mentality

Smooth silk lined lips
occupy my tip jar
perched on impatient fingertips
procuring a signal of admiration

Undetected happiness survives
Floating through the hills
Surrounding suburbia’s subconscious


Sighing eyes
Record testament
Euphoria
Emerging from a clutched fist
Time steps closer


Details | Lyric | |

For the Dying Orphan

I let you die for my name As you reached for my hands Out of waters of drowning What a hypocrite this writer is The Hatred of Solitude Letting an orphan dream Then destroy him with knowledge Of what you have done He opened up to you In new ways But in nostalgic guises The springwinds whisper blithe yore But the winterwinds, much stronger Caress you with the dreams of your funeral sky “It was you… it was your fault… Letting the one who was so open to you Be the laugh… the piece in the game…”


Details | Free verse | |

Shadow

Shadow of a butterfly reaching through the light shining 
Through transparent window panes.
The shadow of me hiding in the shade casted
By the wall beneath the sill.

Sunlight of this evening lighting up my bedroom,
Helping me to see my surrounding.
Sunlight of this day, for me, it was brightly burning,
All while bicycling home.

Shadow of a bird symbolizing flying and basking
In the sun, which soothes my pains.
The shadow of me concealing itself and fasted
Inside my head as I sit still.

Rays of a sunset touching the glass, illuminating
The colours and the wall.	
Rays of a sunrise waiting for night to pass, wishing
To shine so I may finally roam.

Shadow of a cage: this window the only thing
Keeping me as solitary as I can be.
The shadow of me welling up deep within,
Descending into sorrow.

Light of the sun embracing countries, forever travelling.
Sunrise awaiting my horizon.
Light of the sun reminding me how
There will be a day of my dream coming true.

Shadow of the blue twilight gently glowing
Throughout this room where I am free.
The shadow of me restlessly reflecting
Upon thoughts of the days beyond tomorrow.

Sunshine everyday warmly reassuring
That it will always shine on through.
Sunshine everyday piercing
The gray clouds of any day.

Shadow of thoughts filling
My mind with a saddening realization.
The shadow of me is suddenly being embraced,
My Sun ensuring in time I will attain all I’ve dreamed.


Details | Free verse | |

The Land of Sophia

Escape the tort of our avarice world Defy the ones who shift the blame Deter the decadence forgetting shame Freedom is on the top of the bare eyes Beyond the consciousness of The Human Kind Search harder and then you'll find The Land of Sophia Dwelling past are needs Swirling around our bare minds Our wants polluting out sight the Land of Sophia is lost at night Are the Lies held worth it in time Only embracing The Veil of Logic The Truth is cast into shade where all vices are soon to be made For all of our dreams and dramaticies The Destruction Star poisons seas Far from This Galaxy among the stars I can see myself, And The One I've became Escape the tort of our avarice world Defy the ones who shift the blame Deter the decadence forgetting shame Freedom is on the top of the bare eyes Beyond the consciousness of The Human Kind Search harder and then you'll find The Land of Sophia Dwelling past are needs Swirling around our bare minds Our wants polluting out sight the Land of Sophia is lost at night Caught in our lust, of forgetting trust I wonder can we break free of bound forever in the clutches of Lilith's Love Eden's Heart Who's desperate For Love Who's desperate For Light yet wallows in Blight and chooses to wait--forevermore The wait in Summer--An Eternity Lilith's Love Eden's Heart Escape the tort of our avarice world Defy the ones who shift the blame Deter the decadence forgetting shame Freedom is on the top of the bare eyes Beyond the consciousness of The Human Kind Search harder and then you'll find The Land of Sophia Dwelling past are needs Swirling around our bare minds Our wants polluting out sight the Land of Sophia is lost at night We don't chose what's right I can't believe we are able to see this far Crawling in Shadows Never will breath find it's light Escape the tort of our avarice world Defy the ones who shift the blame Deter the decadence forgetting shame Freedom is on the top of the bare eyes Beyond the consciousness of The Human Kind Search harder and then you'll find The Land of Sophia Dwelling past are needs Swirling around our bare minds Our wants polluting out sight the Land of Sophia is lost at night
**Mark Jansen, Guitarist, Male Vocals, and main songwriter of Epica**


Details | Quatrain | |

Decisions

Lord, I do not know what to do;
Please, lead me by Your side.
Decisions I'm facing are lost and through;
Please, lead me to do what's right.


Details | Free verse | |

Your Love Is The Strongest

Send me to the darkest places;
That's where I feel You strongest.
A kiss and hug down the deepest alleys;
Never letting go, Your love is the strongest.


Details | Free verse | |

Tear in My Heart

My mother never knew what to do with me.
I was an obligation that needed to be. 
But I wanted her to love me.
Simply… love… me.
I would do anything to please her.
Wanting her to be proud, I worked hard at everything I did.
But she viewed me as her competition, not wanting to be out done.
Needless to say our relationship wasn’t what I wanted it to be.
I dreamed to have a family of my own to simply… love… me. 
I had a daughter who didn’t live. 
And my mom said someone like me shouldn’t have kids.
Though she didn’t know about my epilepsy and other problems with my health.
Then my life fell apart with hard times everywhere.
I didn’t show it but hidden…my health wasn’t all that good.
My husband’s diabetes affected his mind. And epilepsy was working on mine.
I ignored that fact. I worked hard as my epilepsy kept tearing every thing apart.
Finally with a hard earned job… Fourteen years later I had a son. 
The son I’d always wanted to have.
I was so very proud but was attacked by both health and son, at every turn.
He was wilder than most creating problems everywhere.
He blamed me for everything and everywhere something went wrong.
My health did it again at work as my relationship continued to crumble with my son.
He hated a mother who had to work, had epilepsy, and just wasn’t there for him. 
I was slowly dying when he was 12 and I was 52, when finally I was saved.
That night… I met God and he said I had more to be done along the way.
I came back and did every thing I could to help my wayward and unruly son.
But way before I helped him go to college… I knew I had lost my son.
But his best friend needed a mom so I was there for him.
It seems so strange to tell, but as my son moved out… His best friend simply moved in.
And it’s even stranger to tell that… 
The son who will occasionally smile at me, is someone else’s son.
He’s my heart-adopted son and has brought my first son closer again.
Jesus was always here and… the tear in my heart is gone.


Details | I do not know? | |

why do people listen

people now a days care what people think about them and want to be liked for more then 
just who they are and they will lie and and try to make friends for the wrong reasons and 
they want to be liked by all and many people and they will be what that type of person 
wants them to be. is it really worth it to be something your not when there are people out 
there in the world who will like you for you and you can make true friendships that will last 
longer and wont hurt you in the end. if you want to make true friends you will need to be 
able to act like yourself for the whole time and try to find those people that will think of 
you as hey i like him/her and i want to be friends with them. People want to be liked by as 
many people that they can and they wish that they could find the people that like them for 
them and they want to be able to be like by a lot of thos people but they are hard to find if 
you have the mentality that you have to fake who you are. if you will take the chance and 
try to talk to new people that you dont know not just the cool people you might be amazed 
at what you find and form a true bond that will last throug a life time. people want to be 
popular and want to be able to do what the poular people do all of the time but is it worth 
it if you cant even find the true you anymore. i wish all of the people in the world had what 
it took to say you know what im me if you dont like it then buzz off. if more people did that 
i think that we would have a lot more people in this world that are happy and have fun with 
the people that matter and will be able to talk to them about anything. people dont know 
what a strong gift it is to be different then the other people around them and if they would 
just stop and act like themselfs then they will be happy and people are ment to be 
different and be a leader not a follower. people can read this and say what ever they like 
me for me and i dont have to believe you and it is also your choice to take what you hear 
and apply it and it is your choice to ignor it i hope you will learn something from this and 
use it to become a better person and be a happier person.


Details | Narrative | |

The Known Soldier

Last night awakened with thoughts of him
How long has it has been, only
Yesterday … 

First one I ever saw laid out
I sixteen, he nineteen, Viet Nam 
Airborne …

Purple complexion seeping through under glass 
I gaze on doll-like hair
Broomcorn …

His uniform perfect, tie straight
Blouse olive, at attention
Airborne … 

No one else at the funeral home
Me and a girl friend too early for death
Careworn …

Dead before he hit the ground
Cut down by ground-fire first jump no longer
airborne ...

So many years now, forty-two,
awakened with thoughts of him,
Wind-borne …

Still see his body rigid attention
rumor wire for arm, died before his time
Soilborne …

Didn’t know him well, would he
still be here if not
Airborne …

Would we have smoked and talked about 
women if he would be
reborn …

And what of Thua Thien, what now 
monument, blood of airborne boys?
Golf course …


Details | Free verse | |

A Peek Behind the Fence


Ignorance is a crime caused by putting up fences if we'd let go of the voices inside our heads and eliminate fears discussions would arise peel the blind folds from our eyes share real stories told without disguise encouraging progress could be made with concerns of what we've learned rather than what we are paid a fulfilling life is people based sharing giving looking out for others one human at a time despite our differences the truly rich way of living


Details | Free verse | |

Braid Hairs

Why are you so devilishly addicting?
I come back from you,
It looks like I'm on drugs:
High and drunk,
Out of my mind.
The demons inside us braid hairs
Until we're peaceful meadows apart,
Nuclear wars together.


Details | Lyric | |

Lunar Love

Can this ever stop The world is blacked by the lunar love All the tides have gone undone The seas beckon us with their rage Will they ever calm The mist covers our sight The storm comes Her eyes are the color of dyed blue With her raven hair and crimson lips She sleeps quietly waiting for the innocence of me But I've already put her in vain And tossed her aside I've already condoned my belovéd The desire was so much I couldn't face it In the eyes Forgetting the shame is just a Another winless game Take me away from this Take me away from the Lunar Love The moonbeams light up my pale face I don't want to be seen Banished from this world I'll ever be Take me away from this Take me away from the Lunar Love I cry but the sun cant hear Do I exist? This eclipse took over Now I'm left to face it all Left in the dark where can we go Lunar love is what we'll be Lunar love is what we have Fly away from the scene The tides are blind from the madness Even to the mountains they'll kiss The storm is too much The desire was so much I couldn't face it In the eyes Forgetting the shame is just a Another winless game Take me away from this Take me away from the Lunar Love Lunar love is what we'll be Lunar love is what we have The moonbeams light up my pale face I don't want to be seen Banished from this world I'll ever be Take me away from this Take me away from the Lunar Love The ghosts are tangled in my dreams They play with what was meant to be forgotten But I know there must be a away To find the closure But so lost are we So lost I've been Save yourself from the downfall How close are we to the edge This is what the rage has done This is what the sin has done The desire was so much I couldn't face it In the eyes Forgetting the shame is just a Another winless game Take me away from this Take me away from the Lunar Love The moonbeams light up my pale face I don't want to be seen Banished from this world I'll ever be Take me away from this Take me away from the Lunar Love Lunar love is what we'll be Lunar love is what we have Forgetting the shame is just a Another winless game


Details | Free verse | |

Draconian I

[The Cypress Is In Bloom]
The cypress is in bloom
I see the evil, the efflorescence of decadent doom
Eloigning, with thy clandestines of the Dead September's reign
My belovéd Penelope, abscond from the coven so deep, the glades of misery
We must face her in the grove, for arcany, the path we must take
She's in my mind, vaporously,
Lauding with my, dangers and fears
Lie, with ephermelcy's broken truths
Leading me go Cypress, Marigold
Immortally, willows, forevermore
Forevermore

[To Question; To Know]
My argentine silence, your only condonicy 
Ends with such eath
The Mockingbird in me--died
Resting in one ounce, an abundance of shame
With an infinity of joy
Exiled, by the ones, who give all, names
My breath starves for only more
The façade, the veil, the austerity dims with Aquarianlore 
She falls to her knees, why for?
Celandine she will be
Celandine is she

[Bead]
The lair within, free from their causalities of their sins
Shadowy primroses begin to grow, the season will never end
In there I dream to be like you, violet blue, White Flower of Lisieux,
La Fleur Blanche du Lisieux,
So Celandine are you
Celandine are you

[Draconian]
Draconian--Reach for the shadows within
Draconian--Break from The Fallen's Sin
Draconian--Their Empirical lies, only die
Draconian--Reach The Shadows Within


Details | Free verse | |

Hateful Words

                                                  HATEFUL WORDS

Do you have any idea how much hateful words hurt those you’re spewing them out to?

If you are a bully who uses them, you need to know they hurt deeply and could scar a kid for life.  Is that what you really want to do?

It may seem like innocent fun when you’re bullying other kids.  It’s not!  If you keep doing it, your life’s going to be nothing but a gigantic flop.

If you are a bully, because of the negative impact you can have on another kid, you must immediately stop!

I once thought bullying was cool, too, so I would say hateful words to other kids just to see how they would react.

I would say hateful words to their face.  I would say them behind their back.

Then, out of nowhere, I heard the same kind of hateful words, meant for me.

I didn’t like it a bit; in fact I was hurt and angry as can be.

So, I immediately stopped using hateful words.  I’m so glad I did.

No one deserves to hear hateful words, especially coming from another kid.

	   Al Johnson


Details | Rhyme | |

The Bourgeois and the Spinning Wheel

In a room filled with a solitary red hue
The bourgeois spins a wheel
With no destination, nor need
She will spin until her brittle Hands bleed
Just to satisfy her ennui and artifice
But she does not see - the rien I see
The monster approaching her empty dreams

Spinning still - she does not know
The insomniac rose will begin to grow
The thorn of clandestine and ebony
Ostracized for he began to realize
What lies in nonsense is decadence
Which sparks interest
Who's lover is a dadaist
But his story is over now
As Seth lead the way
A poet dies in dismay

The thorn as she spun penetrated
A distraction and a lack of action
She knew the temptation for she so loved the sensation
Of crass, rebellious - ways 
The thought laid it's seed
In her Gaulish mind it breeds
She has no other need and no regrets
So she proceeds and the smile lets
With full intention and desire
Caring none of her fate that will transpire 
She presses her finger on the thorn 
So now she bleeds knowingly
she did not recede


Details | Romanticism | |

Discovering Love

What is this? This way I feel?
I've never felt before
A desire for a love to heal
A heart so cold and sore

Out with the old
And in with the new
To my past love, I never told
But I'm happy at the chance to meet you

Discovering Love is pretty overwhelming
In my heart, so many feelings assembling
So much beauty in so many faces
Spread across the world, in a million different places

I want someone to hold dear by my side
Each and every night
To be there when I want to hide
And tell me everything's alright

Meet someone with their heart so open, their eyes so wide
Who reminds me of the one I lost
To pick up the pieces, while to my life revive
And breathe love's warm fires on a heart of frost

She's out there somewhere, thinking of me
As I am of her
Just a blank face in our minds
For which our hearts slowly burn

Discovering Love is pretty overwhelming
In my heart, so many feelings assembling
So much beauty in so many faces
Spread across the world, in a million different places

And my past love will do the same
Meet someone kind, and new
Know he'll grow to love her name
Just as I did, and still do

What will come of them, I'll wonder
Pray she finds happiness beyond compare
Under the sun, rain, and thunder
But to share these feelings with my new love, I wouldn't dare

Discovering Love is pretty overwhelming
In my heart, so many feelings assembling
So much beauty in so many faces
Spread across the world, in a million different places


Details | Rhyme | |

I Am So Very Thankful

I’m So Very Thankful… I’m so thankful for everything the Lord has made... Everything he’s created… His beauty is displayed! I’m so thankful for the breath I have to breathe… Until that one day, from this earth, I shall leave. I’m so thankful for the way God has made so evident. The principles of his word… Are so relevant! I’m so thankful for the beauty and glory he’s shown… It has brought blessings and healing to my home! I’m so thankful for the many things he’s done for me… He’s given me his love which flows abundantly! I’m so thankful that each day,.. Is another to live for him… He’s taken away my pain and has forgiven every sin. I’m so thankful that I can write these words from my heart. I know that he’s with me. And he’ll never depart! I’m so thankful that you’re reading what I’ve been saying… May this cause you to once again start praying! I pray that this same Jesus I know… Who’s merciful and kind… Will speak words of hope to you and give you a peace of mind. I pray that before you go to bed and this day has ended. You’ll allow Christ to have your heart “amended.” Thank you Lord! For what you’ve done and are going to do… It’s another way that I can say “I LOVE YOU!” Thank you Lord! For all that I‘ve received and so much more… You’ve made my life complete… And are worth living for!


Details | Rhyme | |

THE CHOICE OF ONE'S HEART

Parents are very fierce on expectations by holding the rod....
they mean well, but they crush or ignore their teens' wishes;
not all are meant for professional careers, others choose trades
to express themselves in the best ways they know how.


My dad wanted me to be an aircraft engineer, 
but I rebelled and chose a writing career;
I disappointed him a lot by disobeying...
but as much as I love airplanes, I prefer writing.  


I envision those airplanes as thoughts traveling through space on floating clouds,
and they are lovely indeed...like the fearless birds flying past the hazy horizon;
I wonder how any pilot finds the courage to fly them without looking down...
I peaked through that window: all I saw was a blue Earth with majestic mountains. 


Being a writer is not a guaranteed profession, or a tale from rags to riches...
its the happiest one, but it's full of personal satisfaction and self esteem;
there's none like it, and on that expectation, I've built my childhood long dream,
but the biggest thrill of all is to see your words translated in many languages. 


Sadly, my dad passed away and his bitterness I recall with pain;
it wasn't an act of disobedience, but a matter of choice, or even worthiness,
and the choice of one's heart always seems to be the right one!
Can anyone among you see my refusal as betrayal, or a desire for greatness?


Details | Free verse | |

The Drone

 You use it every day.
 It is a basic part of life now.
 Maybe it’s the flicker of the radio
 Or the buzz of a computer.
 It is used every day to make our lives simpler and less stressful. 
 Is it really helping us though?
 It does make our life simpler
 But is this a downward spiral into emotionless and effortless life?
 A life where instead of real soldiers with real emotions
 are sent to fight,
 A drone controlled by someone at a computer is used to kill innocent civilians. 
 The drone is emotionless.
 No compassion for other beings and no feeling of guilt or regret.
 This is the future,
 an emotionless drone controlled by someone at a computer. 


Details | Lyric | |

Save Me From Desperation

It's been so long since I could Feel you, Hold You I'm wondering if it was Just an Illusion For love For me could Not be real Nobody could Love over The Borderline, not even I So if you ask you'll know why I silently began to cry I need you here, to hold me I'm so scared without You I just want to Sleep forever Never stray away far Save me From Desperation Never Say It wasn't meant to be I can't take this lie You Kill me With this So much I hurt so much inside these words burn as I cry This life is destroyed without you The joy that comes is the Joy of the Empty The despair I'm prone to maynever wilt I way You could have been there You could have saved me but no you left I was here to stay In the Dark When the razor called me back You could have been my light throughout the eternal black My Soul Has yearned for but where are you Please come back to me I desire just a one word of comfort just from you, only from you Tell me this is just a Lie Just a Hallucination from my Mind I'm suffering I'm Dying I Need you I'm begging just for one word please save me from Desperation I'm the Petal You're the Wind Without You I can never go Far You're not here I'm now stranded alone In the plagued island of my mind only if you were here only If you here You could have Saved Me From Desperation


Details | Narrative | |

Untitled #305 / The Traffic Teacher's Tale

They locked eyes. Engines revved and roared.
When the light flashed green, tires screamed across the pavement,
other horns were honked, and a cup of Coke
flew across the lane divider into the lap of the second driver
even as the car of the first driver veered off
into a ditch, overturned, cabin
crunched into a tree
and three souls rode their last.
The traffic teacher says we must control our emotions, but I know
this is impossible. Emotion binds the heart of every human.
We can control our responses to these feelings, or else
ignore them entirely.
I wish I could choose the latter.


Details | Rhyme | |

Poet Trees --for sale

Poet trees
             don't think
                       we cry ink...
        eyes pink;
face
  ta'
   face
blink; 

then    
    sink
  
to brinks 
of Disgrace;

lips 
trace mirrors
whole selling fears
we die here

souls 
are sold this way 
today
       cut ties 
             with lies here
and Buy Here


Details | Rhyme | |

Disillusioned

Now I'm just a failure
Too afraid to make a mistake.
I've already been there,
Stuck in a route that leaves no breaks.
What is Your plan for me Father?
At once I thought I knew.
Now I'm disillusioned;
Please bring me back to You.


Details | Free verse | |

Ignorance meets Insanity

Seriousness settles in, like an old friend
Seriousness spreads like a disease
Infecting us, accelerating, our aging process 
Our youthfulness, our playfulness, slowly slipping away
Our wonder in life, diminishing
Seriousness leading to rigidness, pathway to small mindedness!

Days and years, rolling into one
Colourless, lifeless, mundane, dull and boring
“What day is it?”
“Don’t smile or your face might crack!”
Judgemental, cantankerous!
Pompous attitudes, of modern day man

Stubbornness and ignorance, clinging to what’s familiar
Seriousness, up tightness, humourless, imagination vanished, pathway to madness!
The mind focused on its self created drama’s
Fears constantly being stimulated, from our outside world
Personal insecurities, constantly being triggered, inside
The past lives on, the present forgotten 
What was once important, now, left on the back burner
Hard headed, victim orientated
Righteous, self absorbed
Emptiness, hollowness, helplessness

Seriousness and ignorance, walk hand in hand
Becoming, our best friends
The vampire suckers of vitality
Sucking the life, out of our personal goals and childhood dreams
Lose of faith, gradually, losing our way
Lost, amongst the thick of it
Not knowing any different
Everything becoming an illusion
Seeing things as it should be
In our own little universe, no one else’s!

Entrapment of the mind
Our, personal intelligence, laying dormant
Body and mind, riddled with dis - ease
Heart beating hard, starving for a substance, we call love
Numb, to the outside
Numb, on the inside
Desensitized!
Going crazy!
Consumed with our own self created loneliness and separation
Ignorance meets insanity!


Details | Blank verse | |

Pia Mater

Where are We? Where is the place where Belong? Is it Here? Am I Here? Is this Aeon only an Hour? Hear, Listen to the Birds Singing with beauty only found Here See, Look at the Butterflies Gently Playing In the Wind only found Here Touch, Feel the thorns of the mighty Rose her Protective Beauty, only found Here Smell, Sniff the nostalgic fragrances filtering around the air, only Found Here Taste, lick the Bitter Green Herbs enhancing the Variety of Life, Only Found Here We are Here A Place we call Earth, Mother Going by the Name of Gaia She was Designed not by herself to Care for Us, tend to Us She puts us to Sleep when the Darkness arises In her Light, we Awaken giving and taking Her most righteous Virtue Something Always to remember -Never Forget- There will be Falls There will be Rises There is Always a light towards the End Is it Here? but Happiness cannot be Happy without the Balance Without the Sorrow to Storm


Details | Sonnet | |

My Friends Screen

Head hanging off couch waiting to be fed
Things take on new perspective looking up
'Twas noon bored to tears just lying in bed
Had to have some coke and ice in my big cup

Coke and chips are good to give me the strength
They are always here even though wish were
Not, they will be gone away at some length
Character traits say we can depend on her

Recycled teen can now visit friend
Get to station_for heard in distance train
Recycled teen now has fun is that plain
First of life was hard_life is better at the end

Enjoying golden years_no more inbetween
Mother and daddy can't now my friends screen


Details | Light Poetry | |

TO BE AS SMART AS YOU

What I wouldn't give 
To have a brain like yours,
There isn't any topic
On which you could ignore.

It must be so exciting
To be as smart as you,
Wherever did you learn so much,
I've never had a clue.

I have often wondered
How the rest of us get by
In our daily living
Not knowing how or why.

I only wish I had 
The wisdom that you do
So I could know it all
And be as smart as you.

No, I don't have the intelligence
And don't have what it takes
To be as smart as you,
And Never Make Mistakes.

Lynn Barany


Details | Rhyme | |

A Kaleidoscope

A kaleidoscope, a mixture of colors and light
So hard to describe so hard to write
Just like a life just like mine
Here is mine my time to shine

The colors change just like time
A life goes on to hit its prime
No matter what it keeps on changing
Just like life keeps on arranging

My story begins at age six
When life was suddenly no easy fix
The Kaleidoscope began to turn
And its center began to churn

My father left our family home
He left alone to go and roam
Suddenly the Kaleidoscope went dark
Even now it’s left its mark

It remained unturned for about two years
And the movement became quite severe
My Mother moved away from home 
To improve her new teaching career

The shades of blue came into play
As most of my family had passed away
My mother was strong and held my hand
Even though nothing had gone as planned

My family will always be in my heart
Those small blue beads will play their part
At that time I was almost nine
I pretended that I was just fine

The colors changed from blue to red
I went on with almost no dread
At age eleven I moved once more
I moved again to the California core

I spent the next year in shades of green
All the kids were just too mean
I went to Junior and then Senior High
Then it was time to say goodbye

The Kaleidoscope turned and made a painting
My life became very entertaining
That’s when I met you for the first time
My hope and happiness began to climb

But My Father turned my Kaleidoscope for me
And I asked and cried my pitiful plea
On the weekends the kaleidoscope turns black
With nothing there to change it back

There are ups and downs, lights and darks
With many blond moments and smart remarks
My life will always be turning fast
Even so I have time to look back at my past

If I remember one thing it is that
My life was nothing like combat
But I still fought wars of my own
Without them my world would still be unknown

There is nothing quite like a kaleidoscope
It’s a symbol of change and hope
I like to think my life is like this
So look back and reminisce

Look back at your thoughts and dreams
But remember nothing is as it seems
The Kaleidoscope will turn to show your past
What was boring and what was a blast

Mine shows everything you’ve done for me
You showed me how fun life can be
You made my life what it is now
To this day I still wonder how

Thank you for turning my Kaleidoscope
And giving me strength and the power to cope
You made my life a beautiful rainbow
You deserve more than you will ever know


Details | Free verse | |

Refusing To Listen

Everyone telling me where to go:
Turn left,
Turn right.
I don't even know who to listen to anymore;
I don't even know who I am anymore.
God, please speak to me
And tell me where to go
And show me what to do
Because Your voice is drowning out in the madness
Or maybe I am just refusing to listen.


Details | I do not know? | |

BEING MY OWN DIVORCE LAWYER

This is how it is
To be torn between two options
And not know I am facing them.
How can I?

They say I’m too young.

It’s hard
To interpret the look in those eyes,
To hear those unspoken thoughts.
Yet I feel I know
Even if they are keeping it from me.
Hurried meetings,
Tears and promises,
Yet no sign of
What I hope they will say.

They say I’m too young.

If they wonder why I’m not
As cheerful, as bright as I am usually,
Do they know
That they are responsible?
How can I understand
Things they never show,
Things they never talk of?
And still those two options,
Those two ways
And being implored to choose,
When I don’t know what I’m choosing
When I don’t know why I’m choosing
When I don’t know where it’ll lead me…
I still don’t know I’m facing them,
Facing those two choices.

This is how it is,
Because they say I’m too young. 


Details | Haiku | |

TEENAGERS FIRST LOVE

                                              heart beats on when sees
                                               mysterious feeling cause
                                                    teenagers first love


Details | Rhyme | |

This is how i live

I dip my pen in plasma
Write my rhymes in blood
Immortal soldier stopping emotions with a mental plug
I put my game-face on and hit the battlefield
Turning insults to motivation make my writings feel
Never hypocritical
I never change like reciprocals
Steady swimming forward, like a shark because its critical
No rest, only the strong survive
Mental toughness keeps me focused and keeps my eyes dry

This is how i live
This is what i feel
Thoughts of a warrior bred with a heart of steel
Decorate my chest with a metal for fierceness
Bible says I'm blessed I'll live on guiltless
My heart is cold
Frozen from hurtful words
And attempts of spiritual homicide always in my face
I shrug them off and stay moving at a steady pace


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

NO MORE TEARS

The world is a perplexing place
So much beauty and so much evil all tied into one
I started having fun when I was way too young 
I’ve walked down both sides of the tracks
The adrenaline rush was like smoking crack  
Being naive and carefree I thought I was living the ideal life
By the time I was fifteen I had experienced it all
Sometimes I managed to pull myself up
However temptation was too great, despite knowing the toll
I felt like I had lost my soul
I didn’t realize I was just being used and abused
I used to think I was being cool, but now I realize I was surrounded by a bunch of dumb
ass fools
People I thought were my friends all did me wrong in the end
I put my trust into the wrong hands and then one day reality struck
I found myself stuck
I learned the hard way
I literally found myself fighting for my life and ended up being taught the strength
The strength I had within myself all of these days
I refuse to live in fear
That’s when I decided to change my ways
I was forced to grow up way to young
My life had been like one disastrous play
I took back control in every plausible way
I could no longer kick and scream
For I was done living in this catastrophic dream
It was my fight to fight and it was all up to me
There are no magic pills, no quick fixes
Only I could choose to remain a victim
I get upset if anyone takes pity, even though a few years were extremely gritty
I found my inner strength on my own, even when the stress makes me feel like I am about to
drown
Like a erasing the scarlet letter I shall no longer where that frown
I chose to let myself be free
Knowing I am the only one who holds the key
The key to unlock and release myself from the pain
Now everyday is like a surprise
I see the world through a fresh pair of eyes
I take advantage of that as much as I can
I try to look for the beauty and pureness everywhere I turn
I would not let myself be tainted from the past
Life passes by so fast
Forget the scary things I have done, for in a moment you can be gone
Take that leap of faith and wear a smile upon your face


Details | Rhyme | |

Confessions of a Young Man

If you believe I was born to fall in love with other men
Then, you’re not familiar with this life
No one is ever born into this filthy sin
If it’s so, there’s was no need for the one called “Jesus Christ”

Make no bones about it, we deny Him, when we chose to chose this choice
As it is, to hide our guilty conscience and pretend to make peace with it
We begin by convincing ourselves that the wrong is merely right
And you joined in…with the conspiracy, thinking you were being such a good friend but, instead you helped in making iniquity normal in the end

I begged! I pleaded for months with my accomplices! “Please, please repent”!
I wanted to embrace what’s light and out all these lies! The propagandas of homosexuality!
But, then ones who yelled out acceptance loudest were the ones who then, threatened …
To shorten my life’s and its own expectancies 

“No, the truth can’t get out” they said. Oh! The evil of this society
But, now we have to emulate the lie by teaching it to our very little kids
Why must we take away their innocence? Why must also start putting confusion into teens?
Guess what? If you’re not born with it, you can now choose a gender in an elementary classroom quiz

God, I am only twenty four years old…
Why couldn’t I understand what I was doing before it grew too late?
I know you love me but, before I loved you, I so much more loved the world
In my end, I am glad to have found a true friend and I’m sure he’ll miss me as he relates my confession, of a young man who died from aids.


This piece is a confession related to me, from a young man named “John” whom I spoke with for several months on Sundays after church.  “The whole lifestyle is akin to a brainwashing by peers and one’s self” said John.       ©copyright 1996


Details | Lyric | |

The Escapist's Plea

When you can longer run away from yourself
When you thought there were no more tears to cry
When you just want to die
Living like this consumed by the façade of a million lies
So many years, so many days
Waking up to people who no longer care you're there
You ask how can this be, one short organic vitality
Wasted with living; the slowest way to die

The shadows of shame weigh you down 
Until you drown, filled with only their hate
All you can turns grey, and all you ever loved fades
The agony is all you know, thank you pain
A self-sadist Is all you have become, j
ust how they showed you, craving so much more
Just to hide up all of the misery
But under cloth it still bleeds

This is the Escapist's Plea
For the one who fall to their knees in misery
Trying to stay sane but fall under September's rain
Dying from the invisible disease, only you can see
Stigmatized by their sadistic need
Only if I could just fly away
...Fly Away


Details | Free verse | |

Your Portrait of Me

What lies hidden beneath that gaze? I look upon my canvas, and see what is portrayed. A completely altered, grotesque image painted in a craze I look upon the artist and am betrayed. I hold my photograph next to this doppelgänger falsified, I sense the calamity closing in to see this vague reflection, into stone, petrified then I see that people confirm that mirage, uglier than sin. Don't you remember who you saw yesterday? Why is it so easy to fall into line and agree? The mob mentality condemning, all on one's say. Take your own look, for I am not that monstrosity. Actions speak louder than words? Nay. Words speak twice as loud, and reach thrice more. They paint a picture not nearly true. Nay, These rumors are artists entirely of false lore. your images damage, conquer, and maim. I tire of your insignificant game. I want my image on the canvas to be the same As my photo. Not this caricature that brings me this shame...


Details | I do not know? | |

The Sweet Simplicity Of Everyday Life

I am a patriot and the daily grin of small town people.
I sometimes wonder why a small town person would even bother.
I hear the breaks of ambivalence in their awkward laughs.
I see the scintillating sparks in their heated conversations.
I want to be more... to be them but,
I am a patriot and the daily grin of small town people.

I pretend to agree with my peer's passions and aggressions but,
I feel like their battle scars.
I touch on the comic relief in their potent tangents.
I worry that they began to notice my differences.
I cry at the sight of an oblivious longing that pulls at my 
Rib cage and makes me cringe but, 
I am a patriot and the daily grin of small town people.

I understand why one would wish for darkness.
I say identify emotions, embrace and discard them then inevitably proceed.
I dream of things that escalate with one single movement.
I try my hardest to care about this place and whatever I've led my life to become.
I hope to be the ancient town whisper but for now,
I am a patriot and the daily grin of small town people.


Details | Free verse | |

Down but not out

I rise from my bed, 
body aching and cracking.
They say I'm too young to feel this way.
But I do.
They are unaware of the jabs and low blows
that life has thrown at me.
"Keep fighting."
I tell myself as I limp over to the coffee pot.
I chug a cup and gain my composure
before hearing the words, "round 6918"
and the ding of the bell.
I walk out of my apartment swinging, 
hoping to hit a sweet spot.

(6918 is the number of days I've been alive.)


Details | Quatrain | |

I Don't Know What To Do With My Life

When that feeling rushes in-
I don't know what to do with my life-
I need to search from within
And look up toward the light.


Details | Quatrain | |

Pray

It's okay to pray;
Do so everyday.
Believe in what you say,
And your life will be changed.


Details | Free verse | |

Hypocrite

I am a hypocrite and look what I just did:
I fell into my darkest pit; now, again, and again.
I thought that I was strong enough to live the truths I said;
Now I realized I'm much too weak; a fool too ashamed to raise his head.
God, please save me, please forgive me, and please give me strength. 
I love You.
I thank You.
I am forever changed.


Details | Rhyme | |

In The Midst Of Our Troubles God Is HERE

In The Midst Of Our Troubles… God Is HERE! During our life, we have many trials and temptations! We come across adversities and difficult situations! Things happen in life. It’s easy to find someone to blame! Quite often, we have hardships that we cannot explain! The many things that we try to hold on to so dear. Are here today... But tomorrow… Could disappear! There are so many circumstances that affect how we’re living! What kind of life… To God… Have we been giving? With each day that goes by, and the many decisions we make… Much of what we do has an impact on our eternal fate! Of all of the problems that life brings our way… We need to focus on the words our God has to say! He is our strength! A mighty fortress and a high tower! He is the Alpha and Omega! Behold his majestic power! He ii and always will be the one who rules supreme! Jesus is our righteousness, our savior and the risen king! When everything in life fails, Jesus remains faithful and true! He is here right now. And will always be here for YOU! By Jim Pemberton


Details | Free verse | |

SEXY FRENCH GIRLS encounter an American 15yr old boy

FRENCH GIRLS  
 in the eyes of an
 innocent 
15 yr  American old boy

 

My son
Sweet naive
Raised in China
Where MTV and YOUTUBE are banned
Where no girl kisses
Until her university days end.
Raised in China
Where knees are covered--
Lips are sealed--
Where boys
Only dream
Of the wonders of Red sex.
My son
Said he loved Paris
     For the Eiffel
     For the Louvre
     For the Seine
     For the wine.

But I knew
He loved Paris
For the
Blackest  panties
Barely hiding
Knowing smiles
Of
Short tight skirts.


Details | Free verse | |

A Prayer For Healing

Father,
Do not let me be the demon I have created me to be.
I am the product of myself and my negativity.
I trust You.
I love You.
I thank You.
In Your name,
We pray,
Amen.


Details | Senryu | |

Wilting

I am nothing more
Than a simple blade of grass -- 
Walked on and wilting.


Details | Senryu | |

sagging baggy pants

sagging baggy pants
below buttocks reveal an 
insecure person

so pull them up, hide
your offensive parts, find your
purpose for living

become more secure
by using your talents to
make a better world


Details | Rhyme | |

Are Churches Ready For Christ Return


Are Churches Ready For Christ; Return? It appears that many in church aren’t concerned.. About the imminent possibility of Christ; return! It seems like the opposite is happening today… Just listen to what many in church have to say… They often get involved with the people from town. And allow other’s sins to “drag them down…” Rather than seeking a life of God’s holiness. Many get involved with things that bring “emptiness.” Being 100% sold out to Jesus is called “old fashioned.” Many don’t seek Christ with a sincere passion! No wonder many in church are in such “dire straits” Many are leading people right to “hell’s gates…” Rather than a house of prayer, it’s a “house of fools.” Just about anything not of God is what “rules.” Rather than accepting God’s word as 100% true… Many get involved with things they shouldn’t do! Forsaking their love for Christ above all others… Lives of sin and bondage…. They bring to the altar! What an embarrassment to Jesus’ holy name! Many in church should really be ashamed! Jesus called us to come out and be separate… So many lives are confused and very “desperate.” It’s time to come clean and be filled with Godly living! Walking in God’s awesome power and forgiving! Christ must be our first love... And him alone! Allowing his righteousness to fill our churches and homes! By Jim Pemberton


Details | Rhyme | |

Lord Please Help My Brother


Lord, please help my brother
 who’s very confused.
He feels that through life… 
He’s been hurt and abused!

He needs you much more than he’s 
willing to confess…
He’s living the kind of life that  
brings a lot of stress!

Many wicked and evil thoughts 
have entered his head…
Many lies from the devil is 
what he’s been fed!

I know you can do for him
 what you did for me!
By the power of your blood… 
 He can be FREE!

I pray that your spirit and word 
will convict him!
May he open up his heart and let
 you change him!

In YOU he can find a love this 
world could never give!
You bring true peace and joy 
and the power to forgive!


By Jim Pemberton


Details | Free verse | |

Travelling Through Memories

In my head there's an echo of the past,
Reminiscing memories of the last years,
My childhood's fading, now disappears.

In my heart I know nothing can last.
Living through moments of these years
In adolescence I am now switching gears.

In my mind there's a ghost of the past.
Growing into times of tomorrow's years,
My future being only crying joyous tears.


Details | Light Poetry | |

A Twised Mirage

I thought it was 'butterflies in my stomach'
I was so excited to be in a new place and try new things...
Two minutes later I threw up on the side of the street.

I thought I was shaking because you send shivers up and down my spine
Your hair, your eyes and that smile...
It was cold  and I only had my T-shirt on that night

I though it was destiny that we, in this place together
Are bound by fate to be companions...
It was a coincidence and two different agendas

I thought I was having a picnic under the stars 
Laying on my back, with the moon pouring down...
It was a street lamp and the concrete was cold and wet

I thought that you were a friend
You and I to the ends of the earth...
You were just a passerby, who taught me a lesson that I'd have rather not learnt 
so early in life

I hear they say that pain is growth turned inside out
It better be true...
My body hurts like hell this morning, I hope that my spirit will grow from this 
experience

Drinking...a twisted mirage


Details | Free verse | |

The Moon And The Girls

The deep blue cloudless firmament Helps to increase the fairness Of the full moon, For a moment it seems The face of a beautiful teen girl. We are the boys here All your admirer. Oh! all teen beautiful girls You are all among them Has the quality to receive praise. These eulogy may be soften your heart But I think these are not enough To allured you, attract you. I know there is a scale of balance Behind your cheerful glance. Your beauty, your grace Is your power, your strength. Your each and every step Involved inextricably with the nature. All you are student of the nature by born, You trained and cultured by the nature. I honor all of your beauty. A full moon sometimes seems moon, Sometimes seems a teen girl.


Details | I do not know? | |

All The Same

I am weak and strong
For keeping my life,
And they were strong and weak
To hide their strife and
To let it death take their own life.
It is not a matter of strength,
Because the truth is
We are and were
All the same.


Details | Narrative | |

Noxious Butterfly

I'm fine! Really, I am.
My eyes may give way
To emotions, but I've found
That hiding them is okay.
No one wants to live with
Their heart on their sleeve.
That'd be just fine if
People didn't care or need.
As it is, no one can
Survive. Not alone that is.
Clinging to one another and
Crying together like kids.

I want to surpass that,
I want to be able on my own.
In many ways like a cat,
I would do more alone.
Sometimes, when I think this
Loneliness pushes it's way in
And it gets so hard to resist
That noxious butterfly's sin.
Sure, I care for others
And want those feelings in return.
People are like wet covers
Weighing you down to get burned.

My feelings, I want to cut them.
To tear them down and rip them out.
But once it's dance has begun
The butterfly will win, no doubt.
No more! Leave me be I say.
You imploring noxious butterfly!
Feelings, I will not hear of them today
There are no rules that life goes by.
But within me the dance continues,
Those horrid things I want to forget.
Some sort of personal revenue
My noxious butterfly, my feelings, kept.

~Reecie


Details | Rhyme | |

Temptation

Satan's temptation would be quite strong
To give me exactly what i most long
A woman of my dreams strong, sexy, and smart
And use her to tempt me into something dark

A woman with hips and a beautiful face
Who moves her body with a ballerina's grace
She loves and embraces,faking sweet innocence
Employed by Satan to erase all my goodness

Her false smiles and fake love would make my heart beat
Her voice of praise would be such a treat
Conquered by the enemy i become a pawn
Tricked by his worker, this girl that i fawn

But since i know my temptations i work to improve
To detect the falseness and to not be moved
This type of temptation just might not work
But I'm sure their are others for him to resort


Details | Narrative | |

TRAPPED IN THE FOG

Can somebody please explain to me?
Why is it that she hates what she sees?
A seemingly perfect life
She is forced to hide behind a smile
Scared to face the truth
With a glance in the mirror, she doesn’t recognize her own reflection
A young girl’s view so distorted she feels so lost
Terrified to disappoint, she forces herself to smile
The girl trapped inside, so desperate to break free
And with every passing moment, the beauty inside begins to fade
It fades further and further away
She has lost herself
So desperate to belong, yet she is unable to move on
Unaware of the damage she has caused, she lives in a dream
She is trapped in the fog
She continues to live her seemingly perfect life
Never showing the fear
Never showing the pain
Never showing the tears, she hides from herself
Her reality is one where the truth can no longer be found
Why is it that no one can see the beauty of the girl trapped inside?
Why it is that no one can see that this girl is me??


Details | Lyric | |

Suffering Is The Same As Living

Hope, tonight, is just a void Love is destroyed Reality impending my doom Suffering a dream that was never made for me I’m just the burden falling under your arms I understand if you give up on me Don’t worry I’ll be fine I can just wait, wait as in all eternity You deserve to be happy and free I’m just the burden falling under your arms I understand if you give up on me Suffering is the same as living Tonight I might, Today I may Set you free away from me I’m just the burden falling under your arms I understand if you give up on me You travel all across in my veins Showing you share my pain But my life was never meant for me I’m just the burden falling under your arms I understand if you give up on me I'm sorry for those days I've ruined your life Best you just ignore, forevermore I’m just the burden falling under your arms I understand if you give up on me Suffering is the same as living Tonight I might, Today I may Set you free away from me I’m just the burden falling under your arms I understand if you give up on me Suffering is the same as living Tonight I might, Today I may Set you free away from me I’m just the burden falling under your arms I understand if you give up on me
**Morten Veland, Guitarist, Male Vocalist and Main Songwriter of Sirenia, formerly of Tristania**


Details | I do not know? | |

Escaping Reality

You lie down
Your head hit the pillow 
You pull the warm blankets over your cold body
Your eyes quickly grow heavy and you fall asleep.
This is an escape from your life.
Whenever life if hard and circumstances feel unbearable you can always escape to here.
So this question arises 
What is more real?
A life filled with anguish and hate 
Or one that only exists in our minds but gives us that release to a better place.
So I ask again 
What is more real?
The feeling of security in this dreamscape
Or the hardships you suffer in reality?


Details | I do not know? | |

The Hurt That I Often Feel

Yesterday, I thought I seen the back of your head,
I felt my mind shook as I started to dread,
That you were there,
But then I realized,
It wasn't you.
As I left the airport,
I got into a truck, that was just like yours,
Then all my emotional sores started hurting again.

And later on, after seeing,
That the friend I wanted to have all to myself in high school,
Already had someone to be best friends with,
I held back my tears,
And fear that maybe I'll never recover
From these emotional issues that seem to go on forever.

And I feel like I can't keep myself together...
Especially when I see two siblings who love one another,
Wishing my siblings were close to my age,
Then I wouldn't have ever felt like I was in a lonely cage,
Envying those who get to have a younger sibling jump into their arms,
Whenever I see them at school...

She always felt like a little sister for me,
I want to protect her,
But nowadays, I don't like the way she is some times,
And I feel confused, and lonelier when I see that she
Likes her other friends more than me.
Yet again, more envy, 
And I feel guilty realizing it's wrong for me to be jealous
In friendship...

I'll make sure our friendship never ends,
But I know that my loneliness will never disappear,
And I will never be able to reappear,
In school with her again, it hurts,
Especially when I don't have someone to share the suffering
Of high school work and gym.
I still feel hurt and sad, everything in elementary,
That made me glad will be pushed away,

And I'll probably feel alone everyday...
Just like the old days, when I cried at night...
And my alarm clock was my nightlight...
Now I need Him, to keep me safe,
And be my light,
Because the hurt that I often feel
Is an inner fight for life!


Details | Narrative | |

Untitled #304 / Juvenile Court

I was the only one to attend
the poetry write-in downtown at
Juvenile Court, though I thought I saw
the outlines of a couple dozen young souls,
already forgotten, bored as me
but blind as bats.


Details | Couplet | |

No, No, No

Mary, Mary, quite contrary said no too many times.
The boyfriend did cry foul, and left her standing in her prime.
But that’s OK I tell you, he wasn’t the right man to make a team.
And she was looking for true love, that illusive, lovely dream.

The important thing to remember is what this means to you.
Waiting can make sure that true love, is really, really true.



Details | Rhyme | |

Our Body Can Be An Asset Or A Liability


Our Body Can Be An Asset Or A Liability…

Our body can either be an asset or a liability.
It can glorify God, or be given to immorality.

God gave us our body to have fellowship with him.
This fellowship was broken by Adam’s sin.

God designed our bodies to bring glory to his name!
During the last 2000 years…  
Things haven’t been the same!

We can offer our lives to Christ in dedication.
His death on the cross brought his gift of salvation.

Rather than offering our bodies to sin and lust.
Through Christ…  We can give God our trust!

Let’s offer our bodies in obedience to THE KING!
Christ is our righteousness! 
 Our everything!

May we allow his love to purify our hearts.
As a Godly transformation within us starts!

May we be renewed by the power of God’s word!
His message of eternal life must be heard!

Won’t you give your life to your savior today?
Jesus is the truth...  The life...  The only way!

The life-changing power from him
rings loud and clear!
One day very soon…  He shall appear!!!

The glory of the Lord reaches all of mankind!
Today is the day of salvation!  
NOW is the accepted time!

By Jim Pemberton


Details | Rhyme | |

Happy Holidays Or Merry Christmas

What if Christmas wasn't here? What if Christmas disappeared? Whenever December came... It just wouldn’t be the same! What if the baby Jesus was never born in a manger? The true meaning of Christmas would be in danger! If this happened... There would be no nativity. We wouldn’t have Christ' peace and tranquility! It’s almost like this now! It’s an “ever increasing business.” It seems like nearly everyone wants “Christ out of Christmas!” Why does it seem like Christmas is losing it’s true meaning? The very words; “Merry Christmas,” seem to be quickly disappearing! Many say; “Happy Holiday.” For fear they may “offend.” Having a “holiday” without Christ…. Once again! We need to put Jesus Christ back into our CHRISTmas season! He is what Christmas is about! HE is the very reason! May we all take some time to rejoice in our savior’s birth. May there be shouts of JOY! From the corners of the earth! Let’s not take Christ out of our joyous celebration! We need him so much right now! All over this great nation! May we bring to him a heart of love for everything he’s done. As we bring honor to Christ. God’s precious son! May we continually offer to him a heart filled with praise! Not only at Christmas time… But all of our days! By Jim Pemberton


Details | Verse | |

TO A HEROIC YOUTH

The time between sunrise and sunset
To some people serene, to some fret.
While humans pass their time in rest
The animals show urge of leaving nest.

The moon was above mountain rock
When I behold something in shock.
I found a carcass in white thick sand,
The poor wretched with twitched hand.

The two big eyes seemed to gaze at me.
How piteous a sight for a mortal’s eye!
The death of another youth in the earth
In an age which is for delight and mirth.

O immortal youth! Let not fear hell
Though you are dead but I foretell
This glorious loss would be undying
As your daring act is death-defying.

The dew of dark night upon the grass
Is weeping for you and saying, “Alas!”
I hold this sealed Sugar-pot and swear
“Heroic Ant, you will lie here forever.”


Details | Epigram | |

Untitled #306 / Sober

22. Which of the following will help a person sober up?
	A. Fresh air or a shower
	B. Coffee or cold milk
	C. Food in the stomach
	D. Time


Details | Free verse | |

So Close, Yet So Far

It's like I'm there,
Standing behind a glass wall.
I've had a taste,
Just not the full platter.
I'm ready for the cake,
But all I have is batter.


Details | Rhyme | |

God Gave Us Our Sexuality


God Gave Us Our Sexuality… God gave us our sexuality and told us how to use it. But many have ignored him, and have “abused it.” Through his word, he’s given us his “set of rules.” So many have refused it, and have become “fools.” The fool has purposed in his heart God does not exist. Yet his beautiful handiwork is all around their midst. Many have chosen to turn his truth into a lie. And often, they burn in lust till the day they die. Many have offered their bodies for ungodly things. Not caring the consequences this really brings! Many are involved with perversion of various kinds. Having a warped sense of morality in very confused minds So many aren’t happy with the way they're created. Their own sexual identity is often debated. You were wonderfully designed and beautifully made. Please don’t end up as sin’s “sexual slave!” God made you special… And has a perfect will! Your every need… His love can fulfill! Don’t settle for what may be “your innocence lost” Think about the work Christ did on the cross! God can help you to resist the man “sexual temptations.” And can bring to your life his peace and true satisfaction. You don’t have to live like you did before! God can restore your life and do so much MORE1 By Jim Pemberton


Details | Free verse | |

Root of Evil

After love comes sadness After sadness comes pain After pain comes rage With rage comes violence Love is the root of all good, But also the root of all evil


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

Untitled #323 / "Why did you stop shaving?", pt. II

“Why did you stop shaving, Jesse?”
It is my attempt to project a façade
of masculinity in the face of rejection
by the opposite sex


Details | Free verse | |

Bullied

All I want to do is punch, and kick, and scream, and rip my hair, and tear at my clothes as I fall to the ground wracked

and enveloped in silent screams that have gone on deaf ears. Too afraid.

Too ashamed.

Of what?

Because of this. The past, the hairline scars

only I can see in a blazing red burning into my flesh like lava, constant. A thrumming

phantom ache.

Almost as tormenting as the ghosts of the memories, and the memories I’ve changed to better suit me, and their remains. 

Like a frankenstein and whispering in my ringing ear all the things that my silence drowns out. - Peace.

Not today but eventually cease,

something to change to drown out the - Peace.

Not in the virtuous hold but in the gratuitous embrace of a chance to see - Peace.

To not think because I don’t want those dangerous daggers piercing behind my eyes

and through  my skull. Thinking stops. 

Though gaping wounds and hairline fractures

blazing in red to my own eyes fester, the chance to open the cracks so to let it out.

Cleanse my wounds and let them scar over in a blazing red, as if to say

“I have survived”


Details | Rhyme | |

I've Heard Of A lot Of People

I’ve Heard Of A lot Of People…

I’ve heard of a lot of people who claim to serve God above.
I heard that many of them proclaim a message of his love!

I’ve heard of a lot of people who claim to know him too…
Would one of these people be someone like YOU?

I’ve heard of a lot of people who’ve made it known.
They are making plans to soon
 be in their heavenly home!

I’ve heard of a lot of people who are joyful.  You can tell!
They’re in love with Jesus.  And are doing quite well!

I’ve heard of a lot of people who’ve 
made a wise choice!
They read the word of God and seek their savior’s voice!

I know of a lot of people who have 
made a firm decision…
They’ve given to God their hearts 
and undivided attention!

I know of a lot of people who were stumbling along the way.
Until they met the master…  Who changed their life one day!

I know of a lot of people that will soon be all together…
When the Lord comes back soon and 
takes them with him forever!

I know of a lot of people and I hope you’re one of them…
Who have accepted Christ.  
And are now born again!

I know there’s lot of angels in heaven 
waiting for you and me!
Won’t you join with these people to spend your eternity???

By Jim Pemberton     05/17/12


Details | Imagism | |

@#**!MANIAC@#***!!!

I came face to face with a basket case
and yet stayed in place despite wanting to step back a pace.
His eyes glowed with a blue as cold as ice
and i did not move for fear of the price.
I stood my ground not making a sound
 as he did the same not looking around only staring me down.
So i spoke,comming to a choke
and as silence was broke his lips mocked mine as to joke.
No more i stated as i assesed and contemplaited,
nor did he as he patiently waited.
Deciding this was a test,one to be graded,
i set to do my best or leave more jaded.

      (so i spoke yet again to my odd but familiar friend)
 I don't know what your problem might be
as you stand there and stare.
 Trying to look so frightening,
i hope you're aware that i am not scared.
      (His lips yet again repeated the god awful sin)

He mocked sankronizingly every word i had said.
I shouted,don't patronize me and don't try to get in my head!
Yet once again,he mouthed what i had sang.
I sprang with a blow that landed in a bang.
I began to weep at what i discovered through my tears,
for the blood of my knuckles covered a broken mirror.


Details | Rhyme | |

The Battle For The Mind


Inside of you is a battle 
the rages within…
It’s a battle between what’s
right and what’s sin!

This battle rages against your soul!
It is with you, no matter
Where you may go!

Good vs. evil is the
 battle that rages on!
It's either doing what's 
right or what’s wrong!

There is a righteous path
 that you should take!.
Choose it now!  Before it's too late!

A choice for what’s right
Is what’s needed!
Only then, will your
life be completed!

A decision to live for God!
And trust and obey!
Won’t you listen?
To what he has to say?

Allow his words to cleanse 
you within!
With God on your side--
You’re sure to win!

His word shall give you joy!
 Each day you live!
He's waiting so patiently
 and willing to forgive!

Give him a chance
 in all that you do!
Jesus is here now! 
Waiting for you!

By Jim Pemberton


Details | Narrative | |

Wilted and Willed

I'm lost, so lost,
Can't find my way
And the women there
Just point and wave.
Won't so much as
To try and help
This small, frightened person
Face the right path.

But I'm so lost,
Wanting to be found,
Hoping to find myself.
Just need a hint...
Anything is good enough!
Something has to give,
And I won't cave.
No matter the cost.

A leaf floats by
There is nothing else.
No complaints here, it
Will have to do.
Into haunted memories and
Down sinful thoughts, now
Starting to feel affections,
Feelings. Not just emptiness.

Almost there, keep going...
Just a bit further!
But no, the leaf
Is caught in water.
A wondrous, rushing river
Happens to hold it.
My dear leafy friend.
Still, I must continue.

Walking through scary feelings,
Violent emotions, vivid thoughts.
Walking is not possible.
Soon, dashing is all
That can keep me
Safe from all of
Those awful things inside.
Is this really me?

That is not what
Is wanted of myself!
Please, change these horrors!
Someone, tell me now,
Tell me to stop!
No forgiveness is expected
But please, help me...
Save me from myself!

Warmth, a certain type
Spreads all around me.
It swallows me entirely.
Holding my broken being
Together as if it
Were made of mega-magnets.
Then I hear it...
“That is all, now...”

Nothing comes to me.
Now I realize that
It never will come.
But I have to
Go to it, so
Sitting in one place
Will get me nothing.
Have to keep going.

The walk through emotions
Soon becomes a fight
For my self control.
Then the feelings rise
And I knock them
Down. Thoughts that were
Snakes, venomous and threatening,
Were felled by me.

I was completely lost
And not a single
Person would help me.
Found myself, and pulled
Through all of the
Sinful desires around me.
Now finally, I am
Just a calm entity.


Details | Free verse | |

Being Free

I Wasn’t enough to just be myself I had to be what you wanted of me Plastic—Mainstream—Liar Without any creativity And a façade for a personality So I Guess I Just Live a Lie Just to Satisfy And surely survive Your torment spitting opinion but then, A Semblance of the independence I held inside No matter how small it let out a cry I will redeem my pride And be perfect, free, me


Details | Rhyme | |

The Pain of Young People

I hate to see the pain
the young so often feel.
I wish that I could help.
My love for them is real.

They need some understanding.
They just want to be heard.
Where are their parents when they cry? 
Don't they read their words? 

They say they hate their lives.
They want to end it all.
I wish that I could help them
and save them from the fall.

It hurts to hear their suffering.
To know I can't be there.
At least I want them all to know
how very much I care.

When you need understanding
or even just a friend, 
Send a note and say hello.
I'll be here till the end. 


Details | Bio | |

What You need

Look in the mirror...Check
Crack your back....Check
Laugh at yourself
and pretend like
your funny but
really your sitting
in a room all alone
on a Friday night
and want to curl
up in a corner and
weep with joy because you cant 
believe 
your 18

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 
14 15 16 17

To 18!

So beautiful

...

Check


Details | Rhyme | |

I Think About The Things I've Been Through


I Think About The Things I’ve been Through… I think about the things that I’ve been through. Many times not knowing what I was going to do.. I think about the journeys I began. And the roads in between. And think about the joys and trials life would bring… I think about the many days and nights I have spent. As I get older, I wonder where they all went? As I think about my life and so much more. I ask; “what is the meaning of life really meant for? As I read scripture, I read about life’s meaning. There’s a purpose and goal I’m not achieving. I read about a God and found a new direction! I need to give him my focus and all my attention! All that I’ve accomplished… There’s something still missing! It’s the voice of God. I need to be listening! He has a purpose for my life and a divine plan! He’s given to me his word to help me understand! I’ve made a decision. This choice I’m going to make. I’m giving my heart to Jesus! Before it’s too late! My life is filed with joy and the past is forgotten! All of my problems... God reached out and “caught them!” Jesus has given to me a meaning I never had! I’m so thankful to him, and exceedingly GLAD! By Jim Pemberton


Details | Free verse | |

Mixed Feelings

You wanna know why I read?
I read because books are my escape.
I read because the friends I have in books are so much truer than the friends I have in real life.
I read because in books I am as breathtakingly beautiful as the heroine in the story and not a one-hundred-thirty-three pound white girl with a black girl’s ass. 
I read because the stories are either so good, I can try to wish myself into them
Or they’re so horrid they make my life look like a fairytale.
You wanna know why I read?
I read because the parents in books don’t yell at me for failing a test that I stayed up until 1 in the morning studying for
Or tell me I’m getting cellulite when its clear that I already hate the way I look.
I read because the little brothers and little sisters in books are adorably hilarious where mine are annoyingly bothersome.
I read because when my nose is in a good book, my mind is where that book is, not in the reality that is my life.
I read because the boys in books are more kind to me than the boys in my classes at school.
You wanna know why I read?
I read because I love to read.
But you wanna know why I don’t read?
I don’t read because reading is shameful in the world I live in.
I don’t read because reading is something tedious, a chore you do simply to make the grade in English.
I don’t read because the stories in books remind me just how much my life sucks.
You wanna know why I don’t read?
I don’t read because every page I turn is another homework assignment not turned in, another failing grade to show my parents.
I don’t read because every time I read I want a snack to munch on, and every time that snack is a chocolate bar I think to myself “You fat, ugly girl, you don’t need that chocolate, you know what they say: a moment on the lips a lifetime on the hips.”
I don’t read because what boy wants a girl whose prince charming is not ever going to show up on her front porch with a dozen roses and a devastatingly handsome smile?
You wanna know why I don’t read?
I don’t read because every time I finish a book that was a new obsession, I have to find one just like it and there never is one.
I don’t read because when the hero dies, so does a piece of my heart.
I don’t read because every book I read just reminds me that I’m the freak brainiac of my class, and that’s all anyone sees when they look at me.
I don’t read because the perfect characters in books make me hate my imperfect self.
I don’t read because I hate to read.


Details | Senryu | |

Long Summer Days Soon

She had a baby
today.  She's only sixteen.
Long summer days soon.


Details | Lyric | |

For All My Pain

Your blood is what was Sacrificed And in Blood we Shall Bathe No more pain nor more hate Will be shed for me ...This is only a desperate dream A slight tender touch on the largest of wounds can leave you screaming for an eternity Dreaming of an escape, A friend from a figment of dark a world from the abyss of my mind Set to fix all of your transgressions Every time you left, abandoned, stranded, forget me A human heart has a limit but It's only I who is left to blame Drifting beyond Aphelion Why must the loudest of Cries Go unheard Maybe You'll know why I want Thagirion to Answer my Masked Prayers For All My Pain Constraining Me Making my Saturnine Mind Climb to the Apex Just to Fall again Maybe You'll know why I want Thagirion to answer all of my masked prayers For All My Pain Everyone turning against me I can't keep living a lie like this Lost In Life When death is the only hope Nothing is left to stay But the Fear of being afraid Let me lose this Let me enter another world Drifting beyond Aphelion Why must the loudest of Cries Go unheard Maybe You'll know why I want Thagirion to Answer my Masked Prayers For All My Pain Constraining Me Making my Saturnine Mind Climb to the Apex Just to Fall again Maybe You'll know why I want Thagirion to answer all of my masked prayers For All My Pain Drifting beyond Aphelion Why must the loudest of Cries Go unheard Maybe You'll know why I want Thagirion to Answer my Masked Prayers For All My Pain Constraining Me Making my Saturnine Mind Climb to the Apex Just to Fall again Maybe You'll know why I want Thagirion to answer all of my masked prayers For All My Pain


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

Untitled #310 / "Why did you stop shaving?", pt. I

“Why did you stop shaving, Jesse?”
Because my appearance doesn’t matter
if my heart is false


Details | Free verse | |

Living the Dream

I am living the dream.
I stand here today,
Cannot believe what I am about to say,
But I am living the dream.
At times, it's tough
And it is not always easy.
I might be condemned
For choosing this path in life;
Some may think it's too bag of a risk.
When we give it our all,
Our passion and our might,
We can overcome and forget the fear
To become who we are meant to be.
I stand here today,
Another tear ready to wipe away:
You can do all you aspire to do!
Set your mind and never give up!
If I can do it,
You can too!
I can't believe I'm about to say this,
But I am living my dreams.
I am living the dream.


Details | Free verse | |

shannon's recourse

tick. . . tick. .  talk the time today
busy a great gather of 
basketed flowers
that might move us towards
great outlawed-metered parked cars 
ticketing themselves
and twist. . . twist your fire-hydrant wrist
while the streets look the other way
simple lack-luster 
awaits your perceptive 50’s point of view
but it’s all the daughters that decide
off which part of  concrete to part with
and wake up 
in which car to ride in


Details | Rhyme | |

I'm So Thankful For Everything

I’m So Thankful… I’m so thankful for everything the Lord has made... Everything he’s created… His beauty is displayed! I’m so thankful for the breath I have to breathe… Until that one day, from this earth, I shall leave. I’m so thankful for the way God has made so evident. The principles of his word… Are so relevant! I’m so thankful for the beauty and glory he’s shown… It has brought blessings and healing to my home! I’m so thankful for the many things he’s done for me… He’s given me his love which flows abundantly! I’m so thankful that each day,.. Is another to live for him… He’s taken away my pain and has forgiven every sin. I’m so thankful that I can write these words from my heart. I know that he’s with me. And he’ll never depart! I’m so thankful that you’re reading what I’ve been saying… May this cause you to once again start praying! I pray that this same Jesus I know… Who’s merciful and kind… Will speak words of hope to you and give you a peace of mind. I pray that before you go to bed and this day has ended. You’ll allow Christ to have your heart “amended.” Thank you Lord! For what you’ve done and are going to do… It’s another way that I can say “I LOVE YOU!” Thank you Lord! For all that I‘ve received and so much more… You’ve made my life complete… And are worth living for! By Jim Pemberton


Details | Epic | |

Living Her Life

She sees the pains,
Which her native folk have gained.
She changed from a little girl
To someone who has always had the potential
To change her own little personal inner world.
As a child she never went through
What some other children of her people
Had went through themselves.

She used to never knew how the roots
Of all her people’s issues
Were and are so controversial.
Blessed was she, as a very young child,
For not knowing fully all the reasons why.

Blessed that she is and will always be
Full of feeling, and always quietly wondering “Why?”, 
Now she is filled with new knowledge and a developing sense of wisdom 
Within her own individual mind.
She is now what she had always
Envisioned and imagined before, since her elementary days.
She is (“I am...”) not entirely that same little girl anymore.
She is now one of the many of that particular kind.

Within her imagination is a longed 
Wanting of finally revealing 
The truths she has discovered and
How her people must change for the better.
Throughout her whole life, which she’s lived through so far,
She maintains a heart filled with feelings, 
A mind filled with knowledge
And a slight emotional immaturity as representation
That her inner child self is still alive on the inside.

Her inner and past child self (who was different from all the rest,
But was also similar to them when at their best).
Never truly knew how far she’d come in life.
(As of right now and forever into the future)
How she has grown and maintained herself
Is how she had made that (her) inner voice in her head and 
Had also long ago already acknowledged her true self.

She still stands in her own believing faith and faith in herself
And her lack of prejudice is what makes her naive thinking
Make her own days in her life far brighter than what others say
As they discourage her from doing 
Or trying to pursue something grand and part of a divine plan.
Even after times and tribulations involving doubting tremble.

Blessed she is for being so whole in her own presumed thoughts,
Blessed she is for logical thinking based on emotion and feelings.
Blessed she will always be, for Christ himself said to a woman
(who was suffering from something for more than 12 years), 
“Your faith is what made you whole.”
Now she thinks...
“Grateful and blessed I am, to the point of tears of joy and sorrow of how I used to doubt.
I now forever know what my life will be like beyond tomorrow.”


Details | Rhyme | |

Breath in the Night

Becoming one Unaware Of the gentle air Starting to tear Unconscious satiation Soft syncopation Becoming undone Until we break in two


Details | Free verse | |

Freyja

 
Surging through this lifeless Body of mine Mania, Euphoria, Freyja Never let me run dry I am lost by your Sigh But I cannot cry What Is this coming over me this everlasting energy Never cease this utmost surprise I graciously prithee Sorcery of Insomnia Caught in Mania Only for Freyja Her Golden one Is Burning out Deranged Am I? Faster, Only Faster Harder, Only Harder In Bizarre Light I hold myself to another Flame Torturous Fun of this Game Sorcery of Insomnia Caught in Mania Only for Freyja Her Golden one Is Burning out Deranged Am I? Sensuality to it's new Peak Running again from the Fake obsolete Euphoric, Erotic All you want All you Desire Sorcery of Insomnia Caught in Mania Only for Freyja Her Golden one Is Burning out Deranged Am I?


Details | I do not know? | |

PARIS ACNE / SIGNATURE OF SIN

 

The acne vulgaris
Was rampant in Paris
From forehead to shin
It erupted all over the skin.

The blooming bachelor,
Living on wine and gin,
Frequented the whore,
And forgot his sin.

Three weeks later,
Developed an atypical ‘canker’
His family doctor
Diagnosed this as a genital chancre.

The Paris-acne is not ‘young man’s pinple’
Its cause is subtle and not so simple!
It’s a blunder of raging hormone,
The signature of a sin, long forgotten!!



Details | I do not know? | |

Remembering Him

I can’t pay attention,
They have deprived me of my perception.
My nose hurts, my eyes are sore and my frown is painful.
In a room of people who never knew him.
So sadly only I’ve seen him in eighth grade.
I was the M.C. at his graduation.
He ran up to the mic. He thanked for the award.
“Thank you”, he said.
Everyday in my mixed grade class,
He would sometimes make everyone laugh.
I wasn’t close to him, but knew enough
From seeing him and his crew everyday.


Details | Free verse | |

Just One Drink

What did she say when you told her you still loved me?

Did she turn away or try to disagree

Did you think about her or how she would be?

No you were only thinking about me.

 

She stands there now, all alone

Facing her fears of the unknown

Turning her head on what she's once known

Realizing now, she's on her own

 

With no one around to help her choose

She stands her ground, not ready to lose

Her head held high while hearing the news

To accept her fate, she must refuse

 

She tries and tires with all her might

To win you back every night

She has no plans to give up the fight

Any hope is out of sight

 

Her heart is now filled with hatred 

Will all the love that you desecrated

With just that one sentence that you stated

Her entire life is now dated

 

Did you ever stop and try to think,

Just how far she would sink?

How close she was to the brink?

Or how it could all end with just one drink?

 

Just one drink to end all the pain

Just one little sip to break the chain

Just one to do the job, to her disdain

Just one and she will die in vain. 

 

You don't even care to attend her funeral

To you she was just a girl that you could treat cruel

How could you be such a fool?

You don't even know of the fire you've fueled. 

 

You come to my door and ring the bell

You send thousands of messages to my cell

Repeatedly the words "I LOVE YOU" you yell

But for all I care you can just go right on to hell 

 

I don't want you anymore you Silly boy

I am no longer your stupid little toy

As for the loneliness you feel now, I hope you enjoy

Because you had your chance and my love you destroyed. 

 

I am my own person without you

I no longer rely on your every move

I am no longer clueless on what to do

I know now I can move on to someone new.

 

As for the girl that you threw aside

I hope you think of her every time you cry

You're the whole reason that she died

If you wanted someone to love, she would have been there by your side. 

 

She would have loved you the way you love me

But you never opened your eyes and seen what there was to see

I'll never love you no matter how hard you plea

So wallow in your self pity, you'll get no remorse from me

 

I hope you drown in your misery

Thank God that sad little girl is finally free

Thank God I knew it was time to flee 

This is goodbye, so don't bother calling me.


Details | Free verse | |

You never believe me, Do you?

You never believe me
You never do
So what’s the point of loving you? 
If you don’t even care I do?
In that collapsing moment
In that lack of care, of believe
I shouted and yelled 
It’s like I’m talking to someone with no ears
I repeat my words yelling louder
Louder to seize my right, my existence!
As I threw rubbishing words at you
And said it with all my heart: I don’t love you!
I’m afraid I might lose you, but I think I already did
You speak to me “you wait for us to arrive home to eat 
With us and instead we cause you problems”
I exploded in rage, protecting my actions
But you never listen, do you? 
As I repeated the single line, again and again 
And in the end, you just said:
“You arrive home, fight together, so why shall I wait for you?”
My heart and mind just fell into throbbing sadness
You never listen!
Do you? The tears of truth just kept falling down my face
Asking what did I do!
Either you’re deaf, or you ignore everything I say
It is as I never talked to you
You call yourself “stupid” for buying me some sweet I like
I said thank you, without hearing the last part
I realized what you have said
I threw the spoon!
You took me out of appetite; you took me out of life
I explained again and again, heading to my room
I inhaled, exhaled, and acted for you
With red-face madness and “sanity”
After for all, you just said: go put Quran 
But I just told you, I don’t know where the CD is?
Go put it yourself! I don’t want to put anything!
“I do not love you!”
You closed the door gently
As I came to this desk, and wrote all what my heart had said
So you either just listen, or ignore me just liked the others did
I needed a hug…
I needed a kiss…
But I just wrote…, 
All that my heart can confess


Details | Lyric | |

Just Pass Me By

Why do you keep me chained up?
Why do you keep me here?
All I wanted to do was roam, but
You played a part in my fears
Your sadistic and your cunning, well
I think I know your name
Aren't you called life?
Shouldn't you be a game?

Life...Just pass me by...
Life...Just pass me by...

If I take you seriously I think I'll choke
If I take you lightly you'll leave me out
Why do you do this to me?
You're gonna suck me dry, no doubt
I always thought you were a joker, but
Now I see your true intentions
You are just like one of us and
Some of us are infections

Life...Just pass me by...
Life...It's all a lie...Just pass me...by...


Details | Rhyme | |

Fear

He is pessimist's prime,
Developing and enveloping our entire minds.
We shatter ourselves just to see him succeed,
But realize with him, we have nothing we need.
So it's time to break the spell he cast,
And pray to God his work won't last.
I thank God for He is always here
Because without Him and with fear,
No cup and no cheer,
For our end would draw near. 


Details | Rhyme | |

This Past Year


I think about this past year... It “came and went…” I wonder that kind of life have I really spent? It almost seems like yesterday that I was a young man… “I had the world in the palm of my hand.” I had many goals, ambitions and dreams. I wanted to enjoy life and do so many things. Looking back on time and how quickly it’s gone by. I gaze up into the beauty of the stars in the sky. As I get older and think about another “resolution.” I find myself with another problem with no “solution.” I think about a God... Who made all of this a possibility! He’s offered to me love, hope and tranquility! I’m going to make a new commitment this January 1st. No matter if things get better… Or things get worse… I’m going to give my life and family to God above. And ask him to bless our home with his mercy and love. I’m going to try to live for him the best way I know. And seek his blessings wherever I may go! I’m going to give to God a love and strong commitment. It’s only in him where I’ll find true fulfillment! There’s an important fact, I shall always remember… God is with me from January thru December! He will be there to guide each step that is taken! With him in my life… I’m never alone or forsaken! By Jim Pemberton


Details | Rhyme | |

I Know of Someone Going Through A Discouraging Time

Going Through A Discouraging Time… I know of someone going through a discouraging time. Thoughts of “giving up” have entered his mind. As a young man, he tried to trust God with what he had. Now he’s upset with God. Very angry and mad. “How could God who’s so loving and faithful...” “Not help me now?” “He doesn’t seem very helpful!” Rather than trusting God with his problems and uncertainty. He missed out on God’s love, peace and tranquility! His life spiraled down, with really “no where to go.” He felt so empty, with no peace in his soul. He shifted the focus of the uncertainties in life… Blaming God for his many troubles and strife. Through the good and bad times, God is still the same... He remains faithful and true. He doesn’t change! He remains dedicated to being there… Just for YOU! His promises never change, no matter what others do! Allow him to prove his commitment to your well being! His words of life… You too can be receiving! His love for you is everlasting, and will never end. God is. And will always… Be your best friend. Please... Right now... Make the best choice! Listen to his words! And listen to his voice! He’s at your heart’s door. Waiting for an invitation... He can bring to your life completeness and restoration! By Jim Pemberton 12/04/11


Details | Free verse | |

Catch the Drift

Steal a bit of me.
Because I'm handing out precious treasures 
In return for love.


Don't believe, 
Just carry on
Through the pain
The confusion,
And the rain that burns in your eyes. 


I get lonelier
And emptier,
I think. 
But emptier still.
There's no magic eraser
To wipe out my unknown existence
And the scars.
And the screams,
There's no magic eraser.


Drift like a corpse
In the sea that's the world
Pale, 
Lifeless
Heartless. 
Till you sink to the bottom
Or get devoured by the monsters
Flesh-hungry monsters.
There's no magic wind
Coming to take you to the sky
Where those angels look down and smirk.


So carry on. 
Move on. 
Till you get your strength. 
Recover.
Hold on to this.
There's beauty the in abyss too,
Barren as it is.


Details | Free verse | |

Imperfection's Beauty

A world only meant for perfection
Sophie can Hardly Breathe
Have you ever thought about Imperfection's Beauty?
Don't Look to the east, stay here with me

We are The Sick
We Are The Chosen
Just to see--Just to be
Imperfection's beauty 


Details | I do not know? | |

Motherhood

My joy at its best, my hurt at its worst.
My joy at your conception and my belly swelling.
 My hurt at your birth with waves of contractions.
My joy at your first steps in those booties I knitted. 
My hurt as you fell down and bumped your head.
My joy at your first word spoken mama. 
My hurt when we argued about a sleepover and you cried I hate you.
My joy over your first report card with all the A’s.
My hurt when you were expelled from eighth grade for possession.
My joy when you took responsibility young man and changed your ways.
My hurt as you leaned on my shoulder and cried over losing your first love. 
My joy in your pride after working the summer to buy your first car.
My hurt that you are no longer my little baby but a young man.
I am forever a woman in motherhood,
My joy at its best and my hurt at its worst.


                                                                             Summer Gratias



Details | Rhyme | |

Are You God ophobic

Are You God-ophobic? I’ve heard of phobias of different kinds. I’m sure there’s many people with “confused” minds. But there’s one “phobia” that concerns me the most. It’s a “God phobia” that’s drawing so close. It’s like people have a phobia of “In God we trust.” While so many of their lives are burdened with lust. A lust for pleasure and whatever “pleases for the moment.” Many are looking for various kinds of “fulfillment.” But fearing and obeying God? This sounds absurd! Why should anyone care? Much less… Read his word? Even prayer seems to be “a thing of the past.” How much longer will this country last? What we should fear… Is the wrath of God that will come… For not believing and accepting Jesus… His son! Everything we’ll ever need. Has already been provided! An abundant life with Christ can now be decided! Won’t you accept his gift of life everlasting? And look beyond human reasoning and understanding? Put your faith in God. And HIM alone! So you too, can have a place in his eternal home! By Jim Pemberton


Details | Free verse | |

This dxxn dam

My mental barriers crumble
as I sink deeper into this drunken delirium.
Thoughts of her rush in
like water through the cracks of a broken dam.
As the stone wall falls
and I am swept away by the flood,
I am sliced by debris and images of her smile.
I become submerged 
and the sounds of her laugh flow into my ears.
Beat to hell and soaked with sorrow, 
I finally wash ashore.


Details | Lyric | |

Die With Passion

You need to come find me.
This, this game is done can't you see?
I can not hide from you any more.
I want to watch you suffer, suffer more.

This game is getting so old.
My heart has become so cold 
I do not love you any more.
I’m frozen to my core.

I don’t love you any more
Listen to me roar,
I hate you passionetly.
You’ve set my anger free.

I don’t even really care
If you’re no longer there
Lord you made me cry
I wish you would just die
‘Cause I don’t love you anymore

Come on out stop hiding
As you can see you’re not my King
Come on out and play
Today’s your dying day

I don’t love you anymore
My heart is what you tore
Lord you killed me
You ignored my dying plea.

I will never even care
If you’re no longer breathing air
I’ll be glad when you die
And you want to know why? 
‘Cause I don’t love you anymore

(now go) You are going to die 
(you) Didn’t even care that I
(go) Was used like trash, blown away
(die) It’s your time to pay

I don’t love you anymore
All the suffering that I bore
Your soul is coming with me
To Hell we’re going to flee

I don’t even really care
That you’re dead, I’m well aware
The time has come for this goodbye
To Hell will your soul fly
‘Cause I don’t love you anymore


Details | Narrative | |

My Generation

On a crisp blue morning
Like any other day
Abruptly evolving
Into a horrific display

Few words describe
This event of destruction
Automatically you blame
Political corruption

Who else are you to blame
But our elected chief?
In all actuality
Labeled in fictional belief

The cards are all
Now on the table
Justice must be brought
By any means able

Yet now you criticize
Our leader's standing declaration
Whatever happened
To this nation's protection?

Now watched by the world
On satalite television
Explosions and death
In high definition

Now shown to the world
This terror named war
And YOU now ask
"What are we fighting for?"

Freedom and independence
Our inalienable rights
For which often
We still must fight

Jealousy and resentment
Hidden behind religion based hate
Failed to be realized
Is this trajic date?

Enragement short lived,
By our nation as a whole
Crying and complaining
About our soldiers death tole

Fighting for us
They are defending our nation
Yet to be supported
By our ignorant MTV generation

All of your "children"
Signed up for their job
When needed they fight
Now they're purpose you rob

Hide in your burrows
For you should'nt be seen
Spineless is this generation
Lacking the integrity it needs


Details | I do not know? | |

The Hidden Me

Walking through life all alone, 
I live my life in monotone.
Watching the days go by, 
I sit and wonder, why?
What purpose do I serve? 
What is it to just exist? 
Wandering blind in a veil of mist.
If the sun were to shine on me, 
Could I open my mind and see?
Would I use my heart and soul? 
Would I find what hatred once stole?
Young in life, my innocence lost, taken, 
My mind frozen with fear, trust violently shaken.
Unable to shed a tear, my paranoia blatantly real.
Emotions unexpressed congeal. 
My eyes leave nothing unguarded,
The real me checked and carded. 
Awaiting a person who possesses the key, 
To open the door and kill the pain inside me.
                                                 Summer Gratias


Details | Lyric | |

Depressed Stream of Consciousness

Want to cut,
Can't.
Want to die,
Can't.
Not can't,
Won't.
Want to but won't.

Why?
They love me.
So what?
I love them.
You suffer...
I know.
Life sucks....
I really, really does...
Who knows,
Maybe death is better...
The dead know.
I bet they do,
They only way is to join them.
But I won't.
I have responsibilities.

"The woods are lovely dark and deep"
Now aren't they...
"But I have promises to keep"
So, so many...
"And miles to go before I sleep"
So many....
"And miles to go before I sleep"
Too many?


Details | I do not know? | |

Please

What happens when you can't think,
and you're constantly in a fog? 
You know the world is spinning, 
but without you 'cause you're lost.

Life flys by and the reason escapes you.
What can one do when confusion abounds?
Letting go gets you no where and nothing to do.
While you try to hide that you're alone in the crowd.

What do you think when the world's untranslateable?

"Please let me out of this box."

That is all I want to say when my brain slows down,
and I don't understand what I'm saying.
Let me out, I scream, I just want to see
what everyone keeps on portraying.

What do I articulate when my memory and logic are gone?
All I can do is create this poem as a plea, to someone,
to tell me what's wrong. 

"Please let me out of this box."


Details | Acrostic | |

Influence by Crismarie Perdomo 8th grade

From the perspective of the main character....

I drink so I don't feel left out. I
Need to follow the cool and not the lame. Your
Feelings do not mean anything to me. Your
Life is not yours but theirs.
Used you like a dog and you follow obediently.
Everyone has a fun time and you follow and pretend. I
Need to follow to be cool.
Crash! Wake up! The
End.


Details | I do not know? | |

A Matter Of Strength

If strength is only 
How well you hide the pain.
I must be truly strong spirited.

If thinking you want death
Is a matter of being gutsy enough,
Then those who're gone
Were even more strong

Rest in peace,
Yet what've they've done 
Shall forever haunt me...


Details | Ode | |

If only she could see

She's constantly a dreamer,
Fantasy is where she lives,
Reality is non existant to her,
If only she could see.
She only cares about superficial things,
Popularity is her sport,
Boyfriends are the cheerleaders,
If only she could see.
Her mind is put to waste,
A head as empty as a flower pot,
Education is lost on her,
If only she could see.
She makes fun of the "weirdos",
She cannot stand the "geeks",
But those "geeks" are worth knowing,
If only she could see.
The world is 3-D,
It has depth underneath,
There is beauty under the surface,
If only she could see.
Beauty is not just skin deep, 
It runss all the way through,
It's not just looks that matter,
It's how you think and see.


Details | Rhyme | |

The Sin Of

The Sin Of 


Is this really “normal?”  Many say 
they’re “having fun…”
Scripture says the wrath of God is 
on what they’ve done!

Read the first chapter of Romans, and you will find…
This kind of lifestyle is not simply just a “change of mind!”

It was in the beginning that God 
made Adam and Eve…
You wouldn’t be here if it 
were Adam and Steve!

This is a lifestyle of bondage… 
 And it’s getting worse!
So many of them are under an ungodly curse!

The answer to all of this is to be how 
God meant for us to be!
It’s only in Jesus Christ that 
we can be totally FREE!

 rev. 06/26/12


Details | Blank verse | |

Luciferia II-- The Damned

Run away Run Away No matter how Far You will never escape my dark hands of faith Wicked and Damned you are my Sin Darling Don't you Tremble when I embrace you The cold and Dark may fill every marrow But at least there were here For You Tell Me how they So Loved You Tell Me All of your fears When the world is done and all their trust will render Undone I will always be with you And Now We cease to Exist Luciferia I can see your Misery Just follow me and believe Me We are The Damned Outcasts of this Natural World We are The Damned Hold on I'll show you what you're waiting for We Are The Damned Join Our Dark Reality When you know the choice the Wind Will come right through And you will See what you're really meant to Be Draining into the Night Shivering With the Smallest of Frights I am the Ghost In Your Dreams I watch You Through the Window Yes that is your name Written In Blood Are You Scared? Are You Suffering? The Dark fate is what was Meant to Be This is what happens when you Brake Us with Words Destroy us with sights Twists are minds Set our will On Fire I can see your Misery Just follow me and believe Me We are The Damned Outcasts of this Natural World We are The Damned Hold on I'll show you what you're waiting for We Are The Damned Join Our Dark Reality When you know the choice the Wind Will come right through And you will See what you're really meant to Be I can see your Misery Just follow me and believe Me We are The Damned Outcasts of this Natural World We are The Damned Hold on I'll show you what you're waiting for We Are The Damned Join Our Dark Reality When you know the choice the Wind Will come right through And you will See what you're really meant to Be


Details | Lyric | |

Into Depression

A willing trek through the thick blackness
a willing regress into depression
all for the sake of keeping sane
the only thing known by the brain for so long
a forced seclusion
with a sorrowful inclusion of painful memories
sitting there all alone
in the darkness once called home
rotting through flesh
decaying bones
soul seeking


Details | Senryu | |

' Thankful ...' 41st Senryu

Thankful, For Earth-Love …
  Life … Also Family Of …
   So … All The Above


Details | Free verse | |

I Am Me

I am a frightened child
Calling for my mother
I am a helpless youth
Searching for a friend
I am young and naive
Learning of darkness and hate
I am a lonely teen
Lost in a sea of unknown faces
I am a hopeless romantic
Wishing he loved me too
I am just a high schooler
Making my way in life


Details | Free verse | |

Herpes New year

No one ever talks about it
it hurts
it throbs
uncomfortable

\No one knew what to say
especially when it was no longer all about them
but it was

Who have i been with?
who have you been with!!!?

the tears
pain
throbbing
thief of under
under where?
under there

All my friends were busy
Called mom yesterday we fought
My brother bout fell off the wagon
cause i want to move away if he moves near
and they're all blaming my ex

i know better
psychological torment
Im the slut
Im the whore
I blame myself as i should
serves me right
right?

so who wants a piece of this pie?
drug induced schitsoeffective
mood disorder
mentally ill
diseased
Lover Boy
all for you

Just give me more pills

Two friends left
I don't want to talk to the Angel whose ex stole my password to this site
My ex girlfriend whose room i lit on fire owes me 240 dollars for her drug debt
things are getting better
happy birthday rip off
merry Christmas debt
high and dry
Now Herpe New year

and i wept
again
stronger this time to not go over the reasons to live versus those i should die
and i laid in bed
with no one to hold
so young
people are cruel
I'm the joke dressed in suicide
just make sure you wash your hands
when you clean up after my mess
you might get infected
and then as the songs go sang by the artists
that sing about how my names are songs

I'll be the one responsible for killing all of my friends and myself after all

For the love of latex and lesions
practice safe sex
know your partners well
and remember life aint no merry go round
it can happen to you
it happened to me

and I've only been out of the funny farm 
for three years
before that i was clean
before that was high school
and the nightmare i will always remember and equate with the word 
DREAM


Details | I do not know? | |

I Love You All

I love how you were my first friend
Right after I came into this world.
I love how you and I had fun
Until the end of our little childhood.

I love how you were another I’ve met,
Everything was good in those summers.
I love how you were like a brother,
Had often traveled to your home and we played.

I love how you were my second friend,
Someone who and I imagined together and communicated.
I love how you would allow me to come over,
And to even let me eat there for dinner.

I love how you were some other pal,
We enjoyed the company of each other.
I love how you and I were so young,
It was almost as if I were your role model.

I love how you were my third friend,
Truly was something wonderful we had.
I love how our bond once was,
Though no longer am I at all sad.

I love how you were all those cousins of mine
Were all young alongside me.
I love how you all made me feel happy,
Back in those days of my child identity.

I love how you were my fourth friend
Right after I reached out to yourself.
I love how I knew you at first seemed as lonely,
No matter how far apart, we have those memories.

I love how you were both born, my siblings.
Prayed for your births: to me that’s how it had to be.
I love how you turned to me for comfort and sleep,
Will always be there to care for you.

I love how you were my fifth friend,
Claimed to free me from what I’ve fought for so long.
I love how you gave me what I’ve sought,
Such fleeting evenings: our moments captivated me.

I love how you were all new people to talk to,
Every conversation helped me become who I am today.
I love how that no matter how I feel, I’m not alone,
Forever grateful for having others to talk to.

I love how you were all my other good buddies,
No life should be without friendly acquaintances.
I love how some of you are close to being my best friends,
You’re worth spending times with.

I love how you, my parents and grandparents,
Were there on my birthday: the sky was clear, sunshine.
I love how you, my family and friends,
Are all people I know and have raised me.

I love how there’s a number of people
I’ve known within my lifetime.
I love how there are those
Who still see me as I was and always will be.

I love how these people
Influenced parts of my personality.
I love how that no matter how I feel,
All those years were real.

I love how you all were there, but I feel alone now.
Every day’s not the same as it used to be.
I love how you’re also always around,
But now I’m strong enough to perceive even change...


Details | Free verse | |

Man overboard

My bedroom has been flooded
and now I'm drowning in my thoughts.
Questions of what is and what isn't
floating about like hundreds of jellyfish.
They wait for me to venture out
so that they can sting me and send me 
sinking
into the abyss that is my very own mind.
There are also two sharks,
Loneliness and Depression.
The scent of blood in my veins
has made them hungry.
I can't swim
and I have no place to hide.
Man overboard!


Details | Ode | |

My Idealism(or so I think)

I got my idealism Follies
From  our Mass Media that
seeks to show the ultra-modern
extravagances of today's super hip society

Too much Politics that is overtly fused
into my dimming Brain
Not interested in fighting the tide
There is nowhere to turn
Nor a sanctuary for myself to hide away

Dreams were simpler in my day
Let the Hair hange down and
say THE HELL WITH YOU
to the wiser but Elder generation in our times

It is not so easy now
A few years back
I have lost the angst
The youthful rage
This gap is becoming ever quite small
Turn to the children,
let them have it for now

The older we become
it is inevitably for certain
where to eventually travel
Beyond this frame of sphere

To believe in our culture's turmultuous lyrics
Put down the parents so we could party all the way
Jesus is a gentle man and a woman
They are not,however..an untidy rock band,looking for the gold

Some times,
When or wherever I compose my poetry
Thoughts will linger on the meaning meant for us all
Shocking realization to notice
We are adults now
in a world where the controls are getting slightly out of hand
The time is now to straighten out this quandry
Clean up our room
Get rid of our dirty laundry


Details | Bio | |

I Won't Let You

This is the end
Don't try to pretend
I won't let you lie this time

Your habits trapped you
There's nothing to do
I won't let you cry this time

You're stuck with your action
Prepare for reaction
I didn't think it would be this way
Not yet, not today

You've brought it all down
To it you are bound
I won't let you escape this time

You're caught in it all
Prepare to crawl
I won't let you run this time

You're stuck with your action
Prepare for reaction
I didn't think it would be this way
Not yet, not today


Details | Lyric | |

The Sixes and Sevens Veil

All of those words and emotions Are tired of lingering in my throat and Mind I want to caress them onto you But how can I? Anon. there might be a time in our days I want to tell you-- I'm worthless, Broken, Diedre, Torned, Discarded, Abuse The past shouldn't control the present but it lingers in my spirit The words need to come out The Darkness with Them What if the truth couldn't set me free, save me from this candled day Underneath the Grove lies something dark, haunted, and confused Hidden in Life aren't we all abused Why can't Eyes see what lies beyond The Sixes and Sevens Veil I can't discard the decay But I'm still entrouved by the past days why can't eyes see what lies beyond The Sixes and Sevens Veil Shrouded against our will too scared to show our bare Vulnerable Shadowself It was the ignorance's bliss that caught you The Knowledge creates a burden Too Difficult to Maintain or was it I? trying to be part of your soul The Decay of Your Heart Sadness can be cured by a few words Despair is a disease of the Knife The Eclipse stole the Sun's Sinlight Underneath the Grove lies something dark, haunted, and confused Hidden in Life aren't we all abused Why can't Eyes see what lies beyond The Sixes and Sevens Veil I can't discard the decay But I'm still entrouved by the past days why can't eyes see what lies beyond The Sixes and Sevens Veil You can to try to condemn the pain Inside But only I can feel the Decay of my heart I know the quill is better than the razor But only I can feel the Decay of my heart Remember your eyes are hazed by bias lies But only I can feel the Decay of my heart Underneath the Grove lies something dark, haunted, and confused Hidden in Life aren't we all abused Why can't Eyes see what lies beyond The Sixes and Sevens Veil I can't discard the decay But I'm still entrouved by the past days why can't eyes see what lies beyond The Sixes and Sevens Veil You can to try to condemn the pain Inside But only I can feel the Decay of my heart I know the quill is better than the razor But only I can feel the Decay of my heart Remember your eyes are hazed by bias lies But only I can feel the Decay of my heart


Details | Rhyme | |

A Ghost Alone

People I had come to known.
Now, only ghosts reminding me that my days are spent alone.
Staying inside a room so lonesome.
No one I know, is ever coming home.
Tell me what I did to recieve this Karma so not right.
To make the poltergeists around the barrier so trite.
A gracious time when I used to reject my own heart.
Keeping a false facade from the start.
So pure, naive, and unafraid of the future.
Now in the present, it's so hard to cover up my suture.
Haunting my mind until it's difficult to stand.
I long for a time when things were easy and grand.
Hand me a pleasing confrontation.
And I garuantee you, I'll knock it down without any complication.
But that only leaves me so far away from anyone.
Without the smoldering comfort of the sun.
But it's the life I chose.
The highs and the lows.
Born out of the blind.
I'm left, a ghost with no mind.


Details | Free verse | |

Memories

Memories haunt and yet they lead.
They help us to find our way.
Memories bring choices with comparisons made.
Memories lead to decisions as corners we turn.
But memories are fluid and change as life goes on.
We forget and discard what we don’t want.
Later we revisit and change images again.

Resentments change to love and care long lost.
Achievements verses what we gave up.
Even wrong can become trying to do right.
Other viewpoints open the older we become…
Then we revisit and memories change again.
Memories can be truth or lies, but they are always…
As fluid as the life from which they come.


Details | Tanka | |

Slang

Created by kids
special words, hidden phrases
communication
 the meaning across so quick
adults blinded by culture


Details | Free verse | |

vulnerability

Someone to call when things start to crumble,
Someone who's there when I need to be humbled,
A friend to hold on when all else let go,
All mistakes, secrets, dreams you already know.
No coy diversions from honesty here,
A brave vulnerability without any fear.
A best friend born for those times of distress,
Someone, the secrets of my heart to confess.
Completely trusting this will never end.
Knowing on each other we will always depend.
No words to thank  you for helping me through,
I will always find solace in knowing I have you.
Your confidence in me provides courage unknown,
Your passion inspires me to find ardor my own.


Details | Free verse | |

Waiting on That Call

If only I could kiss u as many times as I shed a tear last night.
I wish i were older. I wish people would  realize we are just two lonely kids trying to find a way in this world. I hope when the time comes for us to meet again we don't regret a thing. We will work out perfect we won't have to make anyone happy but ourselves. But for now, goodbye. I hope your life is as fun and amazing as you have made my life these past few months. I hope your successful, and I hope you find someone who loves you as much as I do. I hope you are happy in everything you do. Anyone who is yours is really lucky. Just know that when you need me to keep our promise, to find and fall back in love with each other, I'm where I always said I would be, waiting on that call, and on that day my life will be complete.


Details | Couplet | |

Estranged

"Estranged"

I see myself falling faster still, slowly losing all of my will.
I've come to know I am estranged, as some might call it 'being deranged'.
I see myself in a different way, in the mirror every day.
I watch myself smile but hear me say, that it has been a terrible day.
Some would say inside I'm dead, but its emotions overlapping inside my head.
I feel alone almost every day, even though people around me stay.
I can feel that I am weak, even more when I speak.
A voice barely audible to the people, a voice God couldn't even hear at the steeple.
I stay behind the group, because I fear being caught in the loop.
I hate the people that I know, and have this anger with nowhere to go.
The future that I may come to face, makes me fear what I know as my place.
A pathetic person in a shell, which cannot show the truth too well.


Details | Bio | |

My Cry

I am here but alienated
  I exist but I am isolated.
No one here really cares
  How my soul fares.
Nothing here really matters
  I’m amidst a horrid clatter.
I feel so very lost
  My spirit tempest-tossed.
Do I have to go on?
  My heart is turned to stone.
Can I still love?
  Can I still be loved?
I never felt such hate
  Is destruction my fate?
I no longer know myself,
  My life is on a shelf.
I’m on the edge of a brink
  I can no longer think.
No one hears my voice of woe,
  And I know not where to go...
They all smile and say
  “It’s all right” – and walk away.
My strength is nearly gone,
  But somehow I go on.
Soon I’ll go no further
  I will ne’er again stir.
I have no desire to survive
  No want to again be alive.
What is life worth,
  Every minute here on Earth?
Won’t someone help me please -
  And give me some release?
Or at least let me die
  And forever silence 
       My Cry!	


Details | Light Poetry | |

' Mind - Meld ... '

“ GOD … How I Appreciate The Complexities ! … “
I Appreciate The Intricate, Just-So, Subtleties
The Intellectual Nuances and Imposed Perfunctories
That Separates Our Minds, From The Minds Of Beasts …

… Oh, The Ingeniousness of Thinking Abilities
This Superconductor of Sanctioned-Sensitivities
Where The Human Mind Can Reach, Celestial-Journeys
Even Beyond Our Mental-Mortal Capacities

Beyond … The Grasp of Dark and Grey Matter
Beyond … A Storage Tank and Brain-Storm Gathered
Beyond … Sweet Alice and A  Mad-Hatter
Beyond … ThunderDome, and What Happens In Latter

Beyond … Neurons and A Neurotic-Mass
Beyond … ‘We’ve Got Some Nerve-Ending’ Synapse
And Just Like There’s More To See, Than What Cameras Snap
There’s More To Our Minds, Than Biology Can Map

How Could One Admire Computer-Technology
And Not Marvel At Our Medula-Oblongata System-logy
Our Minds, Are A Megaplex of Individualities
A Mall of Momentous Ideals and Marble Column Libraries

… We, Are Not Matrix, Nor Mere Routine-Machines
We, Are Not Droids, nor Drones … We Can Live Our Dreams
‘ HE ’ Programmed ‘Choice’ into Us,  And Gave Us Dignities
So, “A Mind Is A Terrible Thing To Waste”, In Stupidities …

We, Are Not Robotic-Puppets, But of Genetic-Construct
… Dust, DNA-Stairway, 3-D, and Divine-Spark-Struck
We Can Be Psychotic, Without Aware-Antibiotics and Self-Destruct
But Note, That A ‘Thought’, Does Not Evolve, Without ‘An Instruct’

( … and Guess What,  Man-Maze … Really, Neither Did Us ! … )

… Oh, How I Appreciate the Concise Design (Like A Human Battery)
Its Purpose, Possibilities and Activities, (even allows this Poetry)
I Appreciate The Connections Affixed in Each of The Holy Spirit-Surgeries  ( Ps. 139: 13-16 )
But Most Of All, I Appreciate Being Made … In YOUR Imagery …                 ( Gen. 1: 26, 27 )


Details | Blank verse | |

woman child

Flame haired woman child
standing poised upon the cliff
Yearning to be set free
Momentarily quiet
Unmoving
Like the stillness before the storm
Giving voice to her future self
Suddenly she bursts into motion
Dancing and sparkling
Reminiscent of sunshine
on wind tossed waves
Child awakened once more
But still only half aware
Behind her eyes lies unknown depths
As the ocean holds secrets
Eddies and currents
Never seen upon the surface
Sometimes slow warm and gentle
Then turning cold
Deep, mysterious
Ages old with innocence above


Details | Rhyme | |

Love's Reason

Shall I the night recant?
Or could you reason why I shan’t? 
For with such fever we did debate
How and where I steer my fate
And though above us you loftily slept
My quest for you we did inspect
A search for reason our peers embark 
And so I examine my unyielding heart.  
Within my mind the truth unveils
Liberating what my heart conceals 
And so for them this list I write
To end any debate this night.

To begin: Kindness, Comfort, Passion, Fright,
Knowledge, Vigor, Truth and Light,
Sincerity, Simplicity, Humanity. Honesty
Benevolence, Joy, and a strength unfamiliar to me.
In addition: Laughter, love, and righteousness,
Fun, and Trusting with Wide eyed innocence.
To sum it up to those too blind,
A gentleness of Heart and mind. 
So this is why I long for you
But I’m afraid these words won’t do. 
For with these thoughts my tongue does bind
And my body does fall in line. 
Until you awake from your sleep
And outstretch your heart for me to keep.


Details | I do not know? | |

Forever Friends

Such friends we are,
Such friends we were.
When we were apart,
We cried, regretting
Nothing but our mistakes.
Reunited and pre-forgiven,
Friends you, me, and anybody else
Shall forever be.


Details | Free verse | |

Mask

Run
Far away
no one can hurt me there
words can't reach me through these concrete walls
Pain
unbarable anxiety
my heart is so heavy
the weight on my shoulders is tearing me down.




Maybe the way I act is misleading, just take the mask off and you will see the real me.


Details | Rhyme | |

Our Heavenly Father's Love


Our Father's Love... Many don't think about their heavenly father's love. And forget about his mercy, grace and love. That day when God's son was to die. His tender heart begin to bleed and cry. The wondrous love that God demonstrated. A plan of salvation has been orchestrated. Are you of the many who follow him? Where you can find an atonement for your sin. He patiently waits for you this very day. And loves you much more than words can say. This moment in time... With your heavenly father can be spent. Lay your every burden at his feet. And repent. Though your sins be as black as scarlet... They can be white as snow. His precious blood can wash you clean and make you whole! You will walk away from guilt and shame. The day you bow and call on Jesus' holy name! By Jim Pemberton


Details | I do not know? | |

Rebellious Child Of The Sea

Rebellious young child of the sea,
Why do you always flee
From admitting yourself wrong,
And still letting your heart be filled with envy and pride?
Why do you glide away
From friend to friend?
Seems like whatever you do will always end.
I hear you are rebellious against His Word
And that you allow astrology and deep intrepretations to be thy guide.
Everyone says that you are just that way,
Because you believe you're forever a child,
Yet contradictingly,
You say you're a child of The Lord,
If so, why are you some times impure and insecure?
Thy answer is, "I am free to be what I want to be..."
"For Jesus' salvation is for everyone including me..."
"Although I run away, my soul clings onto friends and misses them dear..."
"I'm usually not myself around others, because I have one small fear..."
"I pray every night, asking for His forgiveness and loving light,"
"And I also have this continuous inner fight..."


Details | Free verse | |

What it is

I 
I am 
I am more then what this poem can hold
Broken bones
Empty hands
A full head
Impossible dreams 
Do you like making 
out?                                                                                                                                   
Hold my hand…
I am your declaration of independence written in skin, eyes, and lips
I am your libertine 
Possibly dead air will pass me while I struggle to explain 
Don’t leave until you understand
I am a proud kitten who tears at any and every inconvenience to my own 
destruction 
I, I, I 
Me 
There is no I in me
Yet my mind is still fully focused on it 
It being I 
A thing—to recognize by the time I give it away to someone who doesn’t 
understand 
What it is 
What is it?
A chocolate flower on the highest mountain 
A lost girl in a field of maybes
A brilliant queen on a throne of a united nations 
A coy child wrapped in blue sheets--naked, cold, shy, muddled, afraid, alive, and 
unaware of it all
A faithful rarity in a sea of uncommon coincidences
Whatever it is
It is an I a me and all at once… 


Details | Rhyme | |

I Met Someone With Many Struggles


I Was Talking To Someone With Many Struggles,…

I was talking with someone with many struggles.
It seemed like everything he tried just meant “trouble.”

He was trying to pay the bills the best he could.
Why he had so much trouble….  Wasn’t understood?

He asked why God could allow him so many trials…
He had certainly traveled many journeys and miles!

He asked for prayer and I didn’t know what to say.
I knelt with him and bowed down to pray.

I remembered the journeys I had been through.
And at times I really didn’t know “what to do!”

I remembered when it seemed like 
the world was “crashing in.”
There was no one I could turn to...  Not even a friend!

I cried; “Lord, If I lose everything else but still have you…”
“Then I don’t care what happens or what others do!”

As I shared with him the struggles I’ve dealt with,,,
I shared with him God’s love that I’ve been blessed with!

As I shared with him I felt a “lifting” of his heavy burden.
His faith in Christ became all the more certain!

Jesus said; “in this word you shall have much tribulation.”
“I have overcome!” “Rejoice with jubilation!”

He is and will always be the answer
 to your every problem!
Won’t you invite him in and
 allow him to “solve them?”

His love is ever so patient, willing and kind…
And is here with you…  Every single time!

He is powerful!.  He’s the beginning and the end!
He’s all you ever need!  
Glory to God and AMEN!!!

By Jim Pemberton


Details | I do not know? | |

What Is Broken (Still Has Beauty)

What is broken,
Still shines great beauty...
Whoever or whatever that reaches the inside of me,
Is a treasure worthy enough for me to forever hold...

When night comes,
My feelings and thoughts truly unfold...
During the darkest of my hours,
I unleash my expressive powers...

While the dawn hast come,
My energized mind numbs
For only a moment,
I will wait...

The sun rises
As the deepest gates of my imagination
Flood open and bring on the waves of emotion.
Winds of hope blow away my tears...

And the inner sea, in me,
Begins to shine colours,
From the bluest of all these days,
To the grayest of my depressed ways...

These gray waters...
Change into a glow of hopeful silver...
And at long last, I let go of the past,
As this sea is painted gold by the eternal sun...

I am saddened and gladdened, here and there...
Yet, whatever is broken...
Still shines great beauty...


Details | Lyric | |

Meant To Be?

You said you'd die for me,
yet you broke my heart.
We've never been 
so far apart.
You're back in my life.
So what do you expect?
What you're hoping for,
what you're wishing
isn't always what you get.
You had me once, but let me go.
I still don't understand.
I tried to reach out to you.
I only wanted your hand.
Instead I got your back,
which was always turned to me.
Maybe things happen for a reason.
Was it really meant to be?


Details | Free verse | |

To walk out your door

It takes uncertainty, I know 
to walk out your door 
and walk through another that’s not yours 
Of course, there’s too a course 
that other, unfamiliar, shoes use 
There are signs and there are signs 
not always along the way 
There is opportunity 
there is stop’n wait’n see 
choices others can’t make 
You’ll find too, things that go wrong. . . far from the right 
Afternoon. . . turns to morning. . . skips to night 
There is certain to be a promise. . . a goal. . . a loss 
and love’s. . . not yet in the toss 
Advice listened, taken and given 
Too few things, too many things. . . you’ll come to know 
It takes certainty 
to walk out your door


Details | Blank verse | |

Be Strong

Don’t care about what others think,
Until when my ego falls near the brink.
A lot of this bothers me,
Yet it all helps to see.
My flaws are now so clear,
Only my persona holds fear.
I can’t forget those memories,
I can’t free myself from these miseries.

Don’t care about what others say,
Until when their words catch up to me someday.
A lot of this brings me down,
Yet helps to be on the ground.
My realization is so present,
Only my perception holds resentment.
I can’t forget words told,
I can’t leave behind my innermost mold.

Don’t care about what others feel,
Until when I finally see it’s all real.
A lot of this quells me,
Yet it brings out a new way to be.
My resilience does exist,
Only my feelings persist.
I can’t forget these lessons,
I can’t forsake the inner child lost in ignorance.

Don’t care about what others 
Think, say, or feel about you.
Some of it all becomes pain,
But most of it brings strengthening gain.
Be sensitive and steady, like a tree,
For you are destined to grow.
You’ll never truly from the beginning know
Who you deep down want to be.

Don’t care about what others want you to be,
Until when both you and them agree.
A lot of people in life change,
Yet it is the way destiny is arranged.
Your inner strength’s like a tree,
Only time holds the key.
You can make it through,
You can always be you.

Don’t care about what others tell you,
Until when everyone can see what’s true.
A lot of time is what we need,
Yet it is all conditions we shall heed.
You’ll take thoughts, words, feelings to heart,
Only your mask falls apart.
You can grow from this seed in such ground,
You can gain more inner strength newfound.


Details | Free verse | |

Thin Glass Window

There's a thin glass window
That separates us from the world
They're inside, looking out
While we're outside looking in
Judged for everything they can see
With their cold biased eyes
We are different from them
And there's a thin glass window
Thast separates us from the world


Details | Diminished Hexaverse | |

I Now Know

Growing up, I learned
of all the games that
seemed to be played on
some girls, including
me, by the young boys.

Some of us still
do not have a
clue of why guys
claim to like us.

I've fallen
in those traps
a few times.

Thank God,
I now

know.


Details | Rhyme | |

Stuck at Fifteen

Your age is showing again, princess
No matter the pitiful resistence
Xanthic lullabies - over indulgence

Concentrate, yes that's it, concentrate
Brave, that's right, you're brave
Princess, how many times will you be late
Yes, late to dig your own grave

Seventeen years, stuck at fifteen
Don't take this as a gear to be mean
Will you ever grow up? Answer remains to be seen

I've apologized over and over
Cried myself sober
Princess it's over
. . . Still crying myself sober

Severed the ties, a mere string
a simply broken human being
Cue: Dreamer awakes with nothing

Princess, yes it's clear
It hurts, day by day, fade to years
To deny would be to neglect your fear
It's okay though, you still have the beer

Stuck at fifteen, I refuse to grow
Yes, that's it, refuse. Until my age fails to show
Act my yearly advance? No, No No!

Pandora's Box, this always ends the same
This yo-yo movement drives me insane
this flu-like symptom, hard to name
Futile resistence, so easy to drain

Confuse reality with the faeries, princess
Act your age, your wavering presistence
it's showing again, though it's meaningless


Details | Lyric | |

I've Crawled Ten Miles

I've crawled ten miles before
Even when they offered me more
Take it from me, babe, life's great
All you have to do is be patient, wait

Theres more to this life than just thrills
Don't keep doin' what you're doin', it kills
I've offered advice to you many times before
But you don't seem to see that theres more
Theres more to life than you think
More than cuttin' lines on the sink
More than blackin' out in your room
Keep it up and you'll meet your doom

I've crawled ten miles in your shoes
Snortin' coke and drinkin' the booze
Keep it up and you're gonna lose
So come on baby, you gotta choose

They lead you down an unknown path
If you keep it up you'll incur death's wrath
Don't let them tell you, "It's alright, take more."
Don't let them do it, what do they take you for
Drugs and booze aren't always the way
I'll offer you more advice, if I may
Push the snow and booze far away
Droppin' them is the only way

I've crawled ten miles in your shoes
Snortin' coke and drinkin' the booze
Keep it up and you're gonna lose
So come on baby, you gotta choose


Details | Lyric | |

It Was A Little Disaster

I remember the mornings and nights and your funny ways
I remember the moments, the laughter, the smiles that lasted days.
And looking back on the happy thoughts you left behind,
I find that I'm not pushing things back to rewind.
I'm looking forward to a clean, new start on the paper I'm sitting before
I'm thinking of our conversations, of our jokes and insults galore.
I'm not crying any longer for the people you and I have left behind
I cried once, okay, twice, but now you're far from my mind.
Don't worry, dear, I haven't forgotten you, for you're still in my heart
You're just in the section that I reserve for the ones who've ripped me apart.
And don't think for a minute that I'm horribly angry with you,
I'm just laughing at myself, feeling guilty for what I let you do.
You got deeper into my life than anyone else dared,
And for a while, I was sure that, something special, we shared.
But now it's clear that you've "done me in," as a movie writer would say
This writer's leaving and you can scramble but I won't be back someday.
So let the ball get to rollin', let lives change, let the music play, 
Let it break in half our hearts, our smiles, let it float away.
And it's taken me this long to realize you didn't deserve me
And I'm sorry to be so smug, but those words are true, you see;
I used to think that this would hurt tomorrow, like some old, smarting bruise
But guess what I've learned lately, listen to my news.
Maybe you weren't ever good enough, in any sense, and you were venom,
Maybe I was breaking the rules to make it work, like putting patches on old jeans 
of denim.
But either way you slice that cake, either way you make that pie,
Newsflash, honey, and listen good:
You won't ever again make me cry.
I'm smarter now than I once was, and I know that you're just a little disaster
I won't let you comtrol my life; you can't be my puppet master.
And so I solemnly part with these humble words of truth:
You never won, you never will, Because, baby, I'm over you.  


Details | Verse | |

Little

Little one, I feel your tiny heart break. The need to fit in. An un fitted jigsaw piece in 
an already finished puzzle. You cry yourself to sleep and just wait for the world to 
end. You anticipate for your fragile heart to mend. . If only it was that easy.
Little one, I feel your tiny arms reach. Grab on to something that isn't there. You 
want to know what love is. How that simple emotion feels. Embracing a figment 
of a day dream. Lamenting the person who was nothing more than a vapor. . If 
only anyone else knew.
Little one, you pretend you're happy. Smiling little girl who is falling apart. Facial 
make-up only you can see. Foundation to keep your tears from breaking free. It 
hurts too much to tell the truth. That you've given up hope. .If only you knew that it 
was this easy.
---(---Little one, I'll carry you across the coals. Make it so your little feet never touch 
the ground. You won't feel anything. Peace and serenity. Just lay down and close 
your eyes. Dream of a happy place. Make believe. Forget the things you've seen. 
No, don't worry. This doesn't hurt. Just close your eyes and hush your crying. 
Dream of lullabies and innocence. . If you only knew that nothing worth this pain 
is easy.---)---


Details | I do not know? | |

Self Inflicted, A Poem

Tear into my skin And let my life drip out This is my omission My sin Self inflicted is how it goes Keep me guessing On my toes Never thought the day would come When I would have to kiss that gun All my life I've thought about How it might have been To tell the truth Without the blur Of lies or stories within Not a lie But an omission A crucial fact left out To change the story In my favor And let the crowd go wild Not sinister Not selfish No harm here It was a cat A playful cat Who put the scratches there Not scratches but cuts Deeply imbedded Into the liar's soul How long will they believe That it was this little cat Who made me bleed Though I did not scream I need the blood to drop Just a little at a time Maybe an ounce or two Not very much But just enough To ease my aching soul Yet still I blame that little cat For tearing up my skin Well thanks cat You did me well With an alibi included I spill my blood And mine alone To quell the rage and sorrow An ounce here And ounce there Just to feed the sparrow I'll not confess I did my best And still I bit the bullet I couldn't prove it I couldn't do it And now they see the rest I did my best But I must confess It was me who did it I let the blood drop I tore into my skin I never screamed I never cried I wanted to do it It was all Self Inflicted … Just for the sake Of getting through it


Details | I do not know? | |

Growth

I shall never fully let go
Of the feelings, thoughts, memories
Of everything that once flowed into my life.
I am always envisioning my future,
Always lingering in the past.
I feel strongest when both of my
Mindsets of future and past align.
I will always be living in the present.
I’ll never give up on my way of thinking.
The blending of yesterday, today, and tomorrow
Is my way of diversifying times 
From which I shall grow.


Details | I do not know? | |

M.P.F.

Many good memories darken
As the shadows of loneliness and inner pain settle in.
Repeatful mistakes coming along with revolutionary lessons,
Increasing inner strength each day.
Secretly crying in the night,
Simply killing the sadness in pure daylight,
Aspiring to be an amazing inspiration to all nations.

Planning constantly,
Always achieving all she can.
Interpreteting her dreams and sign,
Gaining as much knowledge and wisdom as she can,
Elevating to the next level.

Flaming strong spirit, so warm,
Accumulating fiery soul,
Rushing through the cold.
Innerly fighting, courageously,
Eagerly hoping all her struggling will be worth it.
She will never officially give up...


Details | I do not know? | |

Nostalgia

My love’s fictional
Truly once found it.
Fate’s casted its division.

My life’s depiction
Truly once manifested,
Time’s implied its imprisonment.

My world’s real,
Truly once serene,
Mind’s revealed its darkness.


Details | I do not know? | |

I Found You

Those nights I have cried in,
Disappeared when I put you 
Inside a special place in my mind.
No matter how far apart,
We'll always meet again at a new start.

I felt guilty for letting you go
And for letting one of my most precious friendships
Fall apart...
I felt sad on some nights,
Until you brought back out friendship's bright light.

Tears and fears have once ruled my life,
But then I found you again,
My friend...


Details | Rhyme | |

Is Living For God Becoming Less Relevant

Is God Becoming Less Relevant?

Look around you! It’s becoming
 quite evident.
Living for God is becoming
 “less relevant.”

Many profess to be intelligent and “wise.”
But don’t believe in God, 
or want him in their lives!

They try to keep living, as if God
 “doesn’t exist.”
Yet all of his creation is in their midst!

Perhaps they don’t want to acknowledge him…
Because his word tells us 
we have all sinned!

You see, beyond all of this 
world’s “chatter”…
There is a God!  And he really does matter!

He is righteous, pure and reigns
 in splendor!
He wants you to live 
with him forever!

He is and always will be I AM that I AM!
Won’t you reach out and take his hand?

He extends his gift of everlasting life to all!
Why not spend time in prayer?”  
And give him a call?

Living for him is the best choice you’ll ever make!
Why not do it right now? 
 Before it’s too late?

By Jim Pemberton 


Details | Blank verse | |

Bridge on Rome

Where I grew
I felt a cert
that with hair so "ging-eh"
Touch would be revulsion.

So at pitch black 1
when they'd hassled me "You're late"
and the lift was blown off for bad behaviour.
The quick footsteps
grabs, snares, gropes, sniffs and stalks-
I walked alongside secure.
Would they dare touch a ging?

Not even in the narrow
scraps or runs
did I choose the safe option.
Poison of the tongues
that acidly tortured my days,
fell my safety to the night.

...and yet I thought I was a bad runner too,
but sufficient it seems.

So when there's a void,
perhaps it is your glaring eyes to blame,
as it was your lips who taught
the voices that shed the light
away from the bridges
of the estates.

...and spent my luck too early


Details | Rhyme | |

Repitition Amongst Circles

Petrified circles
in which I run
Haunting ghosts
aren't any fun

Cursed by my blame
friction and shame
I could see just the same
if you were cut out my name

I don't need repetition
I don't need spunk
I thrive on speed
and lack of luck

Flared into the night sky
hold me down? don't even try
Clipping my wings, waiting until I die
So when I'm turned to dust, don't cry

Killing me with my own dagger
laced with poison and repitition
I gave up on faith 
I gave up on intuition

Leave me dying on the floor
Cast me away bleeding, like before
I come back wanting more
Knowing the shame that's in store

Petrified circles I run
Into the dusty ground
Ash of my enemies and my friends
I try to stop, but my feet only pound


Details | Rhyme | |

Pretty

Pretty is
as pretty will be
but being pretty,
well, that just isn't me

Arrogant, when I fall
Scars heal over time
and give me a tiny bit of loving
and I'll be fine

Please don't leave me
Just believe me
I am imperfection
at it's greatest
Every square inch, every section

Pretty is
as it always was
but pretty will never be me
and that's just because

I don't try
and I don't care
So don't ask why
I never play fair


Details | Epic | |

A Storm, A Big Battle.

a storm is like a big battle
armor clashing
as armies come crashing
together with a thunderous roar.
horses are whining
young men are dying
then
silence.
nothing but the trickle of rain.
women crying.
tears flowing freely
mingling with blood
expressing great pain.


Details | Free verse | |

Crumbs

Dreams are now bread crumbs
Little puzzle pieces we leave when we leave home
We never pick them up, never look back

Dreams are now bread crumbs
a trail we keep to memory
to find our way home

Tiny imaginary wishes
comforters that we return to
when things get rough


If dreamers are wasteful
then happiness is a lie
And all the lies in world
couldn't make me cry
I want to waste my days away
I want to cherish the crumbs
you so carelessly throw away

Breads crumbs, now dreams
A path to nowhere
but doesn't it have to lead somewhere?

Dreams are stale crumbs
pieces of bread, made a puzzle
and the picture is always missing

I want the best, for my way home
I want the dreams that never manifest
I want the impossible:

All these crumbs fto form a whole.





Details | Rhyme | |

Their Greatest Flaw

In his dreams and thoughts he prayed
As his path and light did fade
A voice said, "Hear my message and learn from me.
Then you shall surely and truly see."
That confusion was building inside his mind and brain
It sticks to his thoughts and dreams like a stain
He exhaled and what he saw
Was himself, their greatest flaw
They had created what they never wanted to create
They did not know that raising him was their fate
That raising a dark and lonely being
They started seeing
That he had many troubles ahead
His hands would be stained with red
But love him they did, he did not know why
Made him break down and start to cry
They loved their boy, their greatest flaw
Their boy who had betrayed the law
He thanked them and then he flew
For he had surely and truly knew


Details | I do not know? | |

Bright Blue Electricity

Bright blue electricity,
So beautiful those lights.
Shining starlight so lovely to gaze upon
When they ignite inside the cosmos.

Walk, walk in the moonlight,
Calming insight as it attracts my sense of sight.
Who knew I'd feel so free
In living my life with spirited might.

One kiss unto me.
My heart flutteringly takes flight.
Inspiring feelings 
Initiate graphite upon paper.

Wishing to again hold her tight,
To be in her life, yet fate has decided me
To continue to fight on
And to live with what's left of my lamplight.


Details | Lyric | |

Mental Masochism

Welcome to the old you Hello, Hello, Despair so Crude, Dreams are gone Yet we still follow the old Path Where empathy kills And the Sympathy we find is another Lie You were born to deceive A puppet-master of emotion Back off this fixation while you have a chance Who Would Want To Be This Cold? Sorrow-- My Emotional High Who Would Want To Be This Cold? Better to be Frozen than Numb Who Would Want To Be This Cold? Exchange pleasure for pain It's all coming t you The facade of Joy falls again Violet Hearts crush easy Your Pain you don't Want this Your Sorrow, You Want This Back off this fixation while you have a chance Who Would Want To Be This Cold? Sorrow-- My Emotional High Who Would Want To Be This Cold? Better to be Frozen than Numb Who Would Want To Be This Cold? Back off this fixation while you have a chance Who Would Want To Be This Cold? Sorrow-- My Emotional High Who Would Want To Be This Cold? Better to be Frozen than Numb Who Would Want To Be This Cold?


Details | Light Poetry | |

' Give Me Your Shoulder ... '

I’ll Give You My Hand …
If You Give Me, Your Shoulder
I’ll Give You My Shy
If You Give Me, Your Bolder
I’ll Give You My Cool
If You Give Me, Your Colder
I’ll Give You My Hugs
If You Give Me, Your ‘Hold-Her’
I’ll Give You My Trust
If you Give Me, Your ‘Told-Her’

I’ll Give You My … ‘Me’
If You Give, ‘Us’ Growing-Older
And for Nights of Crimson-Heat
Roll Me In Sunshine and Clover
And I’ll Give You My Love
If You Give Them, Your ‘Just Love-Her’
… Yes, I Will Give To You Over
And Over and Over …
… If I Give You, My Hand
And You Give Your Strong Shoulder


Details | I do not know? | |

Fleeting Emotions

My friendship is beyond 
The clouds of loneliness.
It's beautifully bright rays
Rarely breaks through them.
When it does, my Gemini emotions
Are uplifted.
Was born on a sunny day,
Yet I experience all this raining pain
Throughout my life...
Times I now spend with friends are fleeting,
But the bonds are everlasting.


Details | I do not know? | |

Toy Houses

Keeping and making friends
Isn’t easy as it seems,
When you’re in a place
That’s supposed to hold
The best few years of
Your time amidst society.

Everyone’s naturally
Holding their own individuality,
Most people seem so easily
Associating themselves with
Those whom they feel similarly.

In my current time of life
It feels like the simplicity
Of imagining and playing
With fellow children
Is now distantly forgotten
And left behind in our minds.

Yet even back then,
It was like as if I’ve always
Been in my head, 
Thinking all the same, but differently.
Back then, I felt as if
I could be with many
Who appreciate me for being me.

Walking around alone
Isn’t as easy as it seems to feel,
Thinking “If only we could naively
See through the walls that hide what’s real.
Oh the walls we’ve grown into having.”

The concept of socializing
Is not built like different toy houses
With open walls too see into each one.
The basic aspects of adolescence
Have never been easy.

So as a child at heart I am
Isolated, but always quietly wide open.
Waiting for friends 
Who want to befriend me.


Details | Ballad | |

To be or not ot be

To be or not to be…..
The only person I can ever be is me.
I don’t want to act like other just to get in the crowd
I love to stand out and I’m proud.

Others pick and talk about me , 
Cause I don’t act like they do.
I rather act quiet, shy and cool then to 
Act like a fool.

Some people love to look at me
And ohers sit back and hate.
But me, uhh, I never hate.
I sit back look, and appreciate.

Then I get up, walk, and congradulate!


Details | Free verse | |

World

I want to know
I want to feel
The reasoning behind
being real
It doesn't seem
worth the pain
It doesn't seem
woth the shame

Is this what it's for?
To feel empty
and rejected
Is this what it's for?
pain and misery
scabs open and infected

I want to see
I want to realize
why people waste their time
in shameful demise
It isn't worth
the hurt or the tears
It isn't worth
the scars or fears

Nothing is concrete
and nothing is real
we cannot see
what we cannot feel
there's no substantial feat

It's dark
It's cold
and I'm scared
Is this what it's for?
Is this what it's worth?
It's dark
and it's cold
I'm scared.


Details | Free verse | |

Wouldn't It

Wouldn't it be great 
if all our problems would go away
and wouldn't it be grand
if all our issues would disappear

Sometimes we feel like 
nothing will ever change
Sometimes we feel
like nothing will ever be repaired

Wouldn't it be magnificent
if our parents didn't get drunk
and wouldn't it be fabulous
if our brothers didn't die

Sometimes we wish 
for things to end
Sometimes we want
to go back in time

 
wouldn't it be great
if we would take life as it is
wouldn't it be grand
if we see the grass on the other side

Sometimes things aren't better
on the other side
Sometimes things are worse
for your fellow neighbor

wouldn't it be magnificent
if your friend hadn't gotten raped
wouldn't it be fabulous
if Africa didn't have thousands dead every day

Sometimes it sucks 
to think about someone else
beside yourself

Sometimes it really sucks
to see that maybe all of your problems 
aren't so bad


Details | Cinquain | |

Baby's Grown Away

                   missing,

             echoing away,

   baby's chuckles silenced,

    she's grown, she's gone

                     away


Details | I do not know? | |

I Want Someone To Love

I want someone to hold.
I want someone to have.
I want someone to talk to.
I want someone to keep me company.
I want someone to sing with me.
I want someone to share pure bliss with.

I want a saviour-like person.
I want a true friend.
I want a soul who I can find throughout all lives.
I want a friend who is of many of my own.
I want a bond where I'll never feel alone again.

I want a dream to come true.
I want a blend of all feelings.
I want a destiny worth fulfilling.
I want a life full of meanings.
I want a desire to be made real.

I want someone to always know how I feel.
I want someone to dance with.
I want someone to help me in my ordeals.
I want someone who is one of my ideals.
I want someone who makes me daydream.
I want someone who makes my hopes real.
I want someone who will keep me longing for more.
I want someone other than myself.


Details | Rhyme | |

Secret, My Secret

Secret, my secret,
I've kept you so long.
But secret, my secret,
it's been so wrong.

Farther and farther,
they try to hold on,
but I'm gone.
Lost in this web of lies,
my secret, my own demise.

I want to tell you mama,
I really do.
So I will.
Mama, I like boys but girls too,
I'm bisexual mama.
Secret, my secret,
it ain't no more.


Details | I do not know? | |

Why I Am Who I Am

Why I'm so reclusive in my life
Is something I've come to realize...
What the main key to my self's strife.
Analyzed this reason before;
I have done so many times more.

When among strangers,
There are few who click with me
And are within my personality's range.
Fears and conclusions
Which I consider dangers
Used to be illusions.

Illusions become reality
And thus my own morality
Is to befriend those
Who feel lonely.

I do not want to always approach people,
For I do not know them
And would like it if they
Got to know me first.

My family know me so well.
Yet my cousins are changing.
My mind is still trying to
Rearrange these growing-up
Thoughts and feelings of mine.


Details | Lyric | |

Make Fun of Me

You make fun of my nose
Make fun of my feet
Make fun of my clothes
and say that I need to eat
Well I’m sorry I can’t
can’t be perfect for you
but I’m closer to being perfect than you


Details | Free verse | |

You Don't See Us

You don't see me,
You never do,
I'm always hiding,
Right by you.
But you never notice,
You never see,
That the person there,
Is another me.


Details | I do not know? | |

Gleams Of Hope

Always feeling such inner hurt,
My heart just feels so insecure in the night.
But there is always a light
Guiding me through my lonely days.
Sometimes I find life so unfair,
Yet some days I don't really care...

Seems like I always try different ways to express my feelings
Then I start retrieving truths I possibly never wanted to hear
And then I break down spiritually.
I hide my negativity and believe I can make it through
On my own.

Thoughts from the dark
Leave me with a lonely soul.
Ready to take the toll
Of thoughts that merged into my mind.
On optimistic days I believe I have the potential
To be successful
And that all my lonely and stressful years
Will be worth going through.

"Everyone who wants to disappear,
Look inside
And search for the light that resides...
There you will find
That you must stay true to yourself,
And try your hardest to harness your dreams...
Because the sadness and darkness in your mind
Are only gleams of what you'll really find 
(Hope is the key)..."


Details | I do not know? | |

One Day

We've been through
Roughening waves,
But we sat and never threw
Ourselves out of furious rave.

One day my heart
Will be glad that
We haven't yet fallen apart
And are not as sad as before.

Our time was like a boat...
No matter where we went,
Our time was well spent,
Even while we continuously float.

One day you'll be as happy
As you were in that rural place.
We'll together repair our broken vase.
You and I were inseparable friends...

So I wished it didn't end.
Our bond has been fragile
For quite some while.
I've been thinking of ridding it...

Though I know
I'll resolve it all somehow.
So I hope you will accept the flora
I shall give to you one day...


Details | I do not know? | |

Broken Feelings

Disdain I feel.
This wound may never heal.
You've attempted, but
Only dragged me further
Into temptation of resentment.
People change and
So I expand my emotional range.
Companionship once my devotion,
Is now a post-revolution.
Broken belief in friendship,
I shall never believe again.
For the truest
Are those who cast upon me pain.
I will not allow my past
To be everlasting in my life.
It is time to dispose
Of this strife.
I am forever letting go...
You have no idea
Just how I feel.


Details | Classicism | |

Little Bro

Hey, how are you, little Bro?
For real, you can talk to me Joe.
I'm your big sis and I'll always be near. 
We can talk or I'll just listen anytime I'll be here.
Seriously bub, I love you with all my heart.
You are on my mind any time we are apart.
I'm always thinking and worrying. Its true.
Each choice, Big or Small, impacts your life and changes you.
If only I could go back and change even a little bit,
My life might be on track and I could be different.
Don't make the same mistakes I made.
Ignore peer pressure, be young, enjoy 9th grade.
You are only young once...only one time.
To my little bro, I wrote you this rhyme.


Details | I do not know? | |

Reminisce

I remember when I was verbally bullied,
I would not tell my parents or teacher 
Of what was happening.
I would only take it all in solitary stride,
I remember always feeling 
Both sad and happy in being alone.

I think about it now,
I realize the reasons why I was bullied, why
I was resentful of those who done so to me.
I realize how silly it all was as a whole. 

I notice how it seems to be my fault,
I rejected their offers for friendship.
I still think I was right,
I intuitively knew of their potential two-faced sides.

I have had friends long before then.
I unwillingly moved elsewhere 
(Away from mine friends back then).
I seem to have lost them 
For as long as I shall continue to live.
I eventually had no one 
But [one] older and [some] younger cousins.

I remember when I was my parents' only beloved little one.
I would have everything a child wanted and needed.
I realized my parents often never played with me,
I have come to feel
They were never a good refuge for my feelings anyway.

I see how I've changed from a beloved child 
To now this lonely soul.
I notice how everybody else eventually changes.
I have had good few friends 
In these passing recent years of youth.
I have taken the toll that life has had in place for me.

I reminisce it all now,
I felt so alone, still feel so alone.
I remember my pain, I remember my joys,
I still console myself alone.

I notice how everything is not the same,
I realize the happier days of my past cannot repeat.
I know even if they did then I would face it all again.
I forever now accept it all to be an essential part of me.


Details | Rhyme | |

Never Free

A broken heart 
Bleeding cripple
Lying there, we break apart
Yet our tears cease to make a single ripple

Your perfume smells of roses
And dirty gasoline
You cause this mess
to be seen as a pleasant scene
One of screaming children
and dying mothers
Lost little sisters
cradling long gone brothers

Sexy imbeciles flaunting their scars
Breast implants and nose reduction
While a teenage wasteland errupts
Hitting straight through passing cars

They don't feel it
and they don't see
That soon the pieces will move
The sexy imbecile will be me

I will show them what they refuse to see
I will show them, the beauty I will be
And then, maybe, my insecurity will be free
Because the only way to be happy 
Is to be anything but me

That is what is tought
It is only what we preach
To our children our loved ones
Greed is it to which we teach

You can buy our love 
Feed our hate
Believe there is an unseen above
Leaving nothing to fate
Everything has to be planned
It has to be perfect
Maybe then you'll understand

That the irony 
is not the destuction I see
But the fact that I'll never be free
Because I can never be happy
No, not with me


Details | Free verse | |

The Ghostly City

We're all alone in this ghostly city
Nothing is real and no-one is here
The skyline is littered with broken buildings
And none of the streetlights work
But still we stay here
Longing for the nothingness we are consumed by
Seductive silence, nothing better to do
The city is quiet
It seems like we own it
The moon barely lighting up the dark streets
But still i can see you
And we see the city
And strangely it feels like the city can see us
Like it knows us
We belong in this city how can we leave now?
The broken skyline shows beautiful imperfections
We've been here too long
For we're all alone in this ghostly city
And we're trapped.


Details | Free verse | |

nineteen and seventy-six

the expectation....
is the pain i write
will be only 
a something faintly
remembered

lesson  learned
lesson earned
tied up in a scarlet 
ribbon in my rubble

laughter in the summer 
yellowed as the white i
wore and obscured by my
view of you

playing, laughing... rescuing..
and acting like we were grown-
ups living a life

how much better the 
hot summer used to get
hot...wet...tanned with 
sweat on our lips and
kissing like children at
the fair

playing enough not to
hurt two hearts we
said.......

then....

Forever we spoiled the
summer of 76.

by janetta


Details | Blank verse | |

The Transgressor

Clouds of an Occult day Words of a Darkmaster Chill My Mind Freeze my Eyes Hidden Forever I'll be; Shadow walk You will Never see me It's time to anew I'll Lose you I cannot forget The Blood I cannot-- Forgive you Locked in my cell I'm never far I'll Never Bleed For you Again Loosing Vitality Mistakes cannot be Fixed Forever you and I will Drown Sacred Words Of you Do not Render Complete Obsolete Cords of Vile you wrap around the flowers how east it must be I wasn't Born this Way you Made me this Way Locked in my cell I'm never far I'll Never Bleed For you Again Loosing Vitality Mistakes cannot be Fixed Forever you and I will Drown Sacred Words Of you Do not Render Complete Obsolete Sacred Words Of you Do not Render Complete Obsolete Sacred Words Of you Do not Render Complete Obsolete


Details | Rhyme | |

I Once Loved To Tell Others Of Jesus


I once loved to tell others of Jesus as a young boy. My heart was filled with love, prayer and joy. Talking about Jesus, I had spent. I loved to talk about him, everywhere I went. As the years went by, I started growing old. The things of God, I had no longer told. A coldness in my heart began to brew. Even God’s word-I no longer knew. I only talked about God to people in the church. But in my heart was a hunger for a new search. A search to return to Jesus-my long lost love. I fell on my knees and cried to God above. As I began to confess to God everything. A newness to my life I knew he would bring. I began to feel his love come all over me. The chains were now gone-I was set free! If a coldness for Jesus dwells in you. Remember his love is steadfast and true! Return to him to cleanse you within, And experience the joy of being born again! By Jim Pemberton


Details | Free verse | |

A cup of my own

I handed over my reading log to the librarian. Then
she reached into a cardboard box under the counter
and pulled out the coffee cup
and in that moment
I knew it was my own.

The cup was heavy as a melon in my hands, peach-colored
and shaped like an apple.
I devoured the quote printed on its side:
“I always imagined that Paradise
was a kind of library”

Alone with my cup at home
I boiled a pot of water.
As I selected my flavor of tea I
caressed the cup, running my fingers up and down
its smooth curviness.

A whistle in the background. Now is the time.
I poured in the boiling water
added the teabag
and a moment later
standing alone in the kitchen
I raised the cup to my lips
and made it my own.


Details | I do not know? | |

My Mind

My mind is open,
Yet only unfolded 
Is when you see
The narrowness of me
Have its disappearance.
My mind researches mysteries,
And is eternally curious.
Informally finding
Just what can be the truth.
I have already paven
My route.
I ponder,
Have I already proven
Some truths?


Details | Quatrain | |

Suicide Survives

Fictitious families
Dysfunctional means
Compromised children
Capricious teens

Serrated self-loathing
Culling scarred skin
Dapper diagnoses
Dulling depression’s din

Psychotropic pulses
Sedentary screams 
Subjugated subjects
Catharsis of dreams

Dusk dawning
In convenience’s vanity
Vociferous voices
Pilfering sedated sanity

Slurred smiles
Lithium lies
Hanging from vestiges
Suicide survives


Details | I do not know? | |

You Didn't Say Goodbye

You didn’t even say goodbye
You left me here alone
You figured you could move on
And I'd get better on my own

Well you’re right im doing fine
I no longer need to feel your embrace
I've found that while I'm finding a NEW love
You’re trying to simply replace

I pity your lack of respect
And with time you will as well
You’re traveling down the road to nowhere
And everyone but you can tell

So when you see your reflection
I hope you think of how things used to be
What once was considered love
Is now just your memory.


Details | I do not know? | |

Nothing

I wish we had more time
To say our good-byes
I'm sorry that most of our hours spent
Were filled with deceit and lies

I know you can't get it back
I just wish we weren't through
But once our time has come
There's nothing we can do


Details | Free verse | |

Freely Trapped

Fragmented fairytales, Fermented freedom
There's no remorse for the dead, this I know
For, I've been dead for far too long
While there's not one ounce of sympathy to show
Red Redemption, Rhapsody Right 
I'm bromidic, lost, shallow, cold hearted
But I write emotions all through tonight

This way, it's safer - For both you and I
This way, we're free - Free from the freedom to choose
Unchained to fly - But not past the sky
Reliquished to do anyting - But to lose
I'm not a fool for wanting more
for wishing amongst the stars
I'm not a fool for wanting to ignore
these billions upon billions of scars

Comfortly colliding, comfortly Complaining
While the trillion little rivers start staining
Million Marring Mary Janes, Million Marring Merrily Rains
While the cosiness of home starts to strain
Happiness may not be as it once seemed
But people don't dream like they once dreamed
Auspicous applicants, Abiding Anarchists
Just one simple slit of these wrists
Everything would transcend then slip
I'd try to hold on, but inevitably lose my grip

This way, I realize now, is the safest way
So, I bargain with you - Do not stay
This way, when you're gone - we're free
So, we may both live unhappily

Boringly bizarre, bastardly Bride
Crinkled hope, Smudged pride
Don't prove yourself to me, it's not use
Don't try to call the thing off - there will be no truce
AND  DON'T Play pretend for me anymore
All this playing has left my beating heart sore
Late night enlongated words without any meaning
Go back to bed love - You look better when dreaming

Tragic thimbles, thickening thoughts trample through
Do you see now? I could never be free without you.
Chain me down, shove your lies down my throat
Whatever appeals to your senses
rocks your world - Floats your boat
There's nothing but hate from here on out
as we propel things through the air
We scream, sing, and shout
Sarcastically saying Stupid Segments
Simply subduing Sacred spinning

This way. This way. This way.
What way? What way? What way?
That way. that way. That way.
Which Way? Which way? Which way?
There is no way with you.

Quick quivering questions
They bleed until the floor is soaked
Quarentine Quaffing Queen
We bleed until we're infinitely broke
Yes.
We whimper, whistle, wither
Like snakes, we slink and slither

We don't give up, we just give in
Split into nine equal pieces - lopsided skin
To shower us in affection - there's no point to begin


Details | Lyric | |

Is It You

You are my Hope You are My truth You are my Love You are the reason For me I can't do this Alone always be there for me and I'll promise to Live


Details | I do not know? | |

Song Of Sorrow

Entrancing song,
A feeling arises from deep
Within it was for long.

Melodious song,
A mood revels from inside
Of where it was all along.

Expressive song,
A memory flows from afar,
In which I once belonged.

Saddening song,
A thought reminds from ago
About times I once known.


Details | I do not know? | |

For You

The day I met you,
I at first saw you as strange.
But then, later in time,
I realized that it's just your disguise.

I never felt so lucky
Before you said you loved me.
There aren't many guys in the world
Who don't despise looks.
Yet you are the one who seems the most true.

Maybe deep down, I love you too...
And I'm not sure why
I stopped you from suicide.

I guess I just want others to follow
The guiding light that always helped me through.
Although I think that,
You say that I'm probably in love with you.

If that is really true,
Then I can't handle hearing your voice,
Life as if your feelings for me
Are forcing me to love you without a choice.
I can't even handle such love,
At least not yet.

For now I just want to keep my bets of me
Finding another person.
And I don't find anyone like you,
Then I'll become yours
Just for you...


Details | Rhyme | |

Prisoner of the Past

I want to take you on a journey,
From the present back to the past.
To take a moment to reflect on,
A possibility of why things do not last.
I want you to take some time to reflect,
On some of the things that you’ve gone through.
Some of the things that created gigantic hurdles,
That you are still fighting without having any clue.
I want you to remember when,
Those harsh words were spoken to you.
Those words that still stick in your mind,
For years and years all the way through.
In your original plans back in the days,
You had high hopes along with your dreams.
But they were diminished by the advice of some others,
And caused you to go through many extremes
In a sense you had been deprived of your liberty,
To operate in this present of the end of the times.
To meet the maximum of the most of the potential you had,
You still unto this day remember the lines.
And some of those situations,
That you had to face, back then.
Are still staring you directly in the face,
Because they have never left you from within.
It’s a sense of your freedom being taken away,
Being mentally put into confinement involuntarily.
Not being able to reach successfully for the future,
Because your mental state of mind was damaged purposefully.
You have emotionally been locked up for so long,
That you don’t even realize that you are presently free.
Mentally restrained or captured if I may say,
You had lost your very own future’s custody.
If this controls you at this very moment,
Then bondage still has control of you.
And the goals that you have set up for yourself,
You will need to be delivered in order to see them through
Well we are now at present and I want to ask you this,
I want to know if I were to right now ask
“Are you now able to achieve your goals?” 
Or are you still suffering as a “Prisoner of the Past”


Details | Ballad | |

Luciferia I-- Cease To Exist

I sense something in her eyes that feels like tragedy She closed her heart but its dark pulse Wilts and stetchs against the wanes How many days will the passion bleed Till it subsides into the new pain We are the ones who will face the blame ''Don't you see what's infront of me, I have to face it all I know there's something wrong help is what I want but it's not what I find You're all filled with troubling lies and incoherent minds Cant you see you're strangling me with every last word There's something you don't know Lying in my heart is why you want to throw the stone'' Her raven eyes fill the silence Luciferia we cease to exist it's burning away-- all others' reliance Luciferia we cease to exist my darkly darling don't fade away Luciferia we cease to exist beware we've became their prey Luciferia we cease to exist


Details | I do not know? | |

Mixed Feelings

What causes me grief
Is also what gives me relief...
A bog of tears is what makes me think
It has all disappeared,
My glasses fog because of the mist.

This thing is what causes my woe
Yet it has some truth
That makes me feel so happy...
It does not seem to understand me,
I try to tell what''s bottled up inside
And try to put it under a spell,

Even if I do, I''ll go through such inner pain again & again.
For without it or the other way,
My soul won''t live happily
Or won''t be able to change...

My days will always have colours,
For grey shall be in the night,
Because that is when my thoughts of thou take flight...
Oh it is my hate and love,
It is my grief and happiness,
It is both worthful
And worthless...
I can never decide
Because the pain will always reside.


Details | I do not know? | |

Farewell For A While

Feels limiting living in a small place...
I retrace all my sorrows and joys
In a region I’ve personally proclaimed as my home.
Within my mind is only a dream of another place.
Another desire and wish of mine is to be set free.
I am sorry, but I must leave... My mind shall turn into a fixated set of 
Feelings of missing of my young prayed-for angels
(My baby brother and my little sister).
Farewell for a while, my friends,
For I will go onto a journey (alone or not alone, doesn’t matter).
As I keep this decision (to be true to myself and honest of myself),
I shall be able to continue my very own life with precision.
So farewell and be glad for yourselves, 
Even when everything feels out of your own range,
Please remember how I perceived life through
Changings of thinking and changes of maturing mind.


Details | Free verse | |

Elephant-Girl

Suddenly,
Heartbeat trumpeting in my throat,
Her presence,
It does that to me, sometimes,
I force myself to
To neutrality, absurdity, mask,
We talk,
I remain, the elephant in the room,
I talk,
No one mentions that I am the elephant in the room,
I remain,
Iron cored neutrality,
Masked girl,
Forever masquerade,
Questions set me grasping for straws at the end,
Each day,
Best friends, always,
My heart still beating in its cage. 


Details | Free verse | |

Went away.

Everything that I wanted to say, just went away
all the words were flowing out, now they won't come out.

Funny how you have so much to say,
and it disappears within a day.

Just like life, it passes you by
you're still stuck in the past and you don't know why.

Things come about from way back when,
you start to think you're reliving them again.

We've got to move on, and let all this go,
or else we'll be stuck in the past, and we'll never know.



Details | I do not know? | |

Death and Sirens

She tastes like Death and sings like Sirens.
She's tragically perfect and everyone could tell.
She'd dance with a Hatred, mistaken for Passion
With smiles like Car Crashes, who would ever know?
She's fatally beautiful in every single way,
Fatally beautiful, but toxic to the touch,
But the face of Beauty is only skin deep,
And her beauty is only as deep as her deepest cut.

She tastes like Death and sings like Sirens.
She's the stars in the sky and everyone could tell,
She'd love with a Fury, mistaken for Devotion
With smiles like Fireworks, who would ever know?
She's gracefully innocent in every single way,
Gracefully innocent, but a master of Illusion,
But the grace of Innocence is only short lived,
And her innocence is the only gift she can give

She tastes like Death and sings like Sirens.
She's heartbrokenly cynical and nobody could tell.
She'd speak with an Intelligence laced with Experience
With smiles like Thunderstorms, who would ever know?
She's masterfully disguised in every single way,
Masterfully disguised; her smile, her most famous piece,
But the mastery of disguise is a means for her to hide,
In the case of Death and Sirens, it's her only release.


Details | I do not know? | |

Our Love Is Faded

Our love was fated
To be so fleeting,
Yet now it is forever faded.
I want to blame you
For letting it slip
Away from our embraceable arms
And away from our lips' second chance.
Though I do happily prance
Towards you at school,
I am unaware of what harms
You may have gone through.
I was entranced in pain,
But you could not have kept
Hidden our pleasureful shame.
I have hope for us,
Even though we're cool,
I'm secretly hoping
We can someday be the same
As before I blamed you
For both my happiness and loneliness.
You are forever
One of the best.


Details | Free verse | |

Gnosis

We seek to wrought with no Desire Detached from all Earthly Pleasures So yearning to know but with what do you hold? That are way is wrong, aren't we all greedy with lust and lustful for power? How can you know what is right When all we Ever Wanted was Wrong? Dreaming a Dream filled with Ignorant Knowledge It is what Tears us Apart When we thought we were Right We were Never so Wrong How can we Know what is Right when the ignorance settled so long ago? Humanity has killed The Divine with Desire Seek to know what is right In your heart For you; 'tis different for all Never agree unless your heart accepts Always seek Find your Personal Logos Be Enlightened Seek the Gnosis


Details | I do not know? | |

Friendship Brings Sunshine

You know, when the sky is grey,
You should go somewhere today
And bring the sunshine by going for a bike ride
To a friend's house.

If it rains as you're riding in exhaustion and pain,
Don't slow down,
Cause at the end there's happiness to gain.

Laughing with a friend or two,
Is perfect for the things around you.
Having fun will make the sun
Bring a line along those clouds.

Then it'll shine through.
This all happens because of that mood.
Friendship will always bring a rope to cheerfulness.

And I truly agree,
Because this often happens to me.


Details | Sonnet | |

Greater Man

They say you're nobody
They talk lies behind your back
They speak of an insignificant soul
A heart worth no attention
I say -
It's the prominence of my walk
The strength of my stance
The graize of my speech to the intelligence beyond glance
I'm a man that's greater
A Greater Man - that's me

A lot try to say you're ugly
Change your appearence - your style
Try to make you conform
Be coll, Be "in," whatever that may mean
I say -
It's the brown of my skin
The scar on my hand
The rareness of my style to the bareness of my ends
I'm a man that's greater
A Greater Man - that's me

They despise your real talk
Call you weak - Call you a punk
They turn the world against you
Your friends - Your loved ones
I say -
It's the abundance of my knowledge
The credit of my character
The uniqeness of my name
An undisputed fame - I'm a man that's greater
A Greater Man - that's me

So when they give you lip
And they torture your stature
When they come across your self-esteem
And say you're not anything
I say -
It's the flare of my actions
The perseverance of my smile
The integrity of my measure
The courage of my style - I'm a man that's greater
A Greater Man
That's me


Details | Blank verse | |

Zagzagel

Life is such a Journey It's Truly a quest So many years can pass and we still wonder where we are Maybe there's an answer Maybe There's only a Question We're towards the end But we still Do Not Know So who am I? Will I ever know? I'm sure there's an answer Not just a question But how do I know That it's the truth? As an Angel Sang to Me I Ignored her Maybe what She Said Was The Answer that allowed The Answer Maybe when She Said "Just Search Stay True When it is Time to Anew And Something Rises Ask The Heart That Is where I Breathe"


Details | I do not know? | |

My True Friends

Since the day I was born
You were always my friend,
And I'm sure we'll be friends until the end.
I'm not sure what I would be doing without you...

My dearest friend,
We always come back together in a happy end.
I have always loved you as a best friend.
And I am glad I reunited with you again.

When I met you, my wonderful friend,
I slowly began realizing
What makes a true friendship...

It's not always about what me
And my friend have in common,
So I must always try to stick to them thick and through.
But when I do stop being around
Someone because I'm not being true,
It seems that my bonds become deeper
And the matter of the smallest differences
And the past are steeper.

Meaning that we don't need to walk down those steep stairs,
Where we went different paths,
But it seems that no matter which way I go
I always end up with being one of you again.
My true friends, I want to forever sustain our friendships.


Details | Rhyme | |

Everything Satan Gives You Comes With A Cost


Everything Satan Gives Comes With A Cost! Everything Satan gives… Comes with a cost! You may think you’re in control. But it’s you that has lost! Satan doesn’t care how “appealing” his gift may be. His goal is to give you a “false illusion” of love and security! He is the father of lies and will deceive you any way he can. He wants to confuse your mind, so you won’t understand! Run from every kind of temptation that Satan brings your way! Choosing him or God is a choice you make each day! “As for me and my house we will serve the Lord!” Living a life entrapped in Satan’s lies. We can’t afford! The ultimate price to be paid in the end is your very soul! This day... This hour... Why not make heaven your goal? The power of God can defeat any hold Satan has on your soul! Christ defeated him on the cross… Two Thousand years ago! Come now! Cast your every burden at Jesus’ feet! It’s only in him that your life can be whole and complete! By Jim Pemberton


Details | Lyric | |

Leaving

Lost in a world I try so hard to remember these days the days (of yore) we're together Lost in an open Place you know they're never coming back never coming back Alone now So Alone now we're Alone now Done and Gone I'm Alone You're leaving


Details | I do not know? | |

Given So Much

Given so much to others in my life...
Written sincerities to my friends.
Forgiveness of their mistakes and
For those who once hurt me verbally.
Many times I have generously given
A dollar to those in need of it...

No returning owe to pay, they forget,
Yet I still remain generous and gracious.
I'd give my life for all my friends
If I could and ever have such a chance.
They my friends have not been with me
For as many times as they've been with each other.

My life journey though
Is of self-reliance...
My mind is of sincerity
And generosity.
I give so much...
Even though they rarely do the same,
I continue to this strong
Sense and feeling of loyalty anyway.


Details | Rhyme | |

Middleman

Sins that I gave 
on behalf of a broken heart
I gave them to you
So they would tear you apart

Not intentionally
I didn't intend to fuel this fire
I couldn't care less
I've burned out of my desire

For me, love isn't necessary
it's not a demand
I don't want to fall in
I don't want to understand


The sins I gave to you
on behalf of your broken queen
she feels most alone
when you are so mean

I tried to console
I tried to show her
that with two people
opinions are to differ

She cries to me on the phone
'Why is he doing this to me' 
I dare not answer honestly
I just let her cry. I let her be


So I give you these sins
to contemplate and think over
So that you would stop and think
before you claim that you know her

People change
they grow apart
They find different interests 
and they break your heart

I cannot do anymore
I cannot be in the middle
I've dealt with this before
and can safely say I'm through

I gave you these sins
and I sent away the broken heart
to let the both of you
break eachother apart

It's not my problem
I don't care anymore
I've been through this
too many times before





Details | Free verse | |

this trip has

ordinary has been a bit a
small bit
misplaced (tremors shield
the truth)
;erased. everyday
mistake:
this trip has proven to
take
fractions of consistence.


Details | Free verse | |

love

until you give it, you will not see it 
you quite simply will not 
oh, you can want it 
but ‘want’ is a form of ‘take’ 
and you can never take, to have -- except for anger and money 
that kind of want you can easily achieve 
“Give and take” has been a lie to you 
a practice you accept for a phrase you once heard 
no. . . you will not. . . ever. . . get this by wanting 
you want this? 
you gotta give this 
this one ain’t no passing by occasion 
first time you tried, you wanted – fair enough 
there ain’t no next after that 
you got the lesson when you kindergarten’d somewhere in your teens 
no in between. . . here 
no amount of years can pass 
no guarantee that if you didn’t pick it up then. . . you will someday 
listen. . . read well 
until you stop wanting 
you will not get, giving 
you will be without love. 


Details | Light Poetry | |

Flash and Go


               Their eyes give away their youth.
             Smiles shoot the room as girls appear...
                   What can they do to impress?

                Turn on the charm as best they can.
              Females will always test their limits...
                    Silliness - not beyond their age.

          Speaking in tongues that only youth can understand.
                Girls acknowledge their existence...
                     Perhaps they have a chance.

               Quickly they move from subject to subject.
                  Girls giggle with secret approval...
                      All the while, protesting.

                  Life is difficult in the Flash and Go.
                       Girls to be attended...
                     Youth, the true aphrodisiac!






I wrote this poem as I watched a group of teenage boys get flustered by some girls they
knew, when I was in a fast food restaurant.  I thought of  bygone days, when I too, was
vying for a young girl's attentions.  I hope it brings back fond memories for the reader, 
as they did for me that night.



Details | Free verse | |

Heaven

i shall not be able to take one step here 
without a kind thought on earth 
i shall have no navigation 
without a smile in memory of me 
i shall have no vision 
without the wish to be seen once again 
i am here and they are all there 
they are all there coming to meet me soon 
here, making this place a comfortable room 


Details | Free verse | |

The Last Time

And for the last time,
I'll push it all aside
I'll walk away with dignity,
With no one ever knowing,

And for the last time,
I'll efface these fallen tears,
Before they're ever noticed,
Before concerns are voiced,

And for the last time,
I'll lock the closet door,
Barricade any skeletons
That may try to escape

And for the last time,
I'll suffocate my heart,
Indifference to all around me,
Emotionless and still,

And for the last time,
I'll push it all aside,
And no one will ever notice,
The sorrow that I hide


Details | Rhyme | |

In Our Adversity God Is There


In Our Adversity... HE Is There! There are circumstances in life... I wish I could trade! I can think of both good and bad decisions I have made. This is a most unfortunate situation I find myself in. Is causing a lot of grief and pain deep withini... The guilt I feel I can't "begin to explain." To be honest with you... It's brought me shame. Where Lord... did I get "so many things wrong?" There's many things in my life that don't belong! I ask you Jesus to take total and complete control... I don't know who else to turn to... or where else to go. Please come & pick up the broken pieces that surround me. So much of my life was lost, but now you've found me! In your goodness and love... my life is now content. From my wrong and sin... I now humbly repent! I thank you Jesus for turning my life around. YOU are the very best friend I have ever found! By Jim Pemberton


Details | I do not know? | |

Enduring Life

You will never get anywhere in life
If you keep running away from your problems.
You must stop hiding and running,
Stand in front of your problem
And run right through it.
Then and only then is when you find happiness.
Going through your problem will be painful and slow,
Be strong and you'll finally get through.


Details | I do not know? | |

American Leader

To become a good leader
Stand up for what is right
Don’t give up on your dreams
Though the effort may seem trite

Think of others before yourself
That’s how you gain respect
Watch out for negativity
You never know who you affect

A leader must retain
The ability to be led
They not only need to be sociable
But Well-versed and well-read

Good leaders watch what they say
And listen to what is said
They know when to encourage
They always look ahead

To be a good leader; work hard
But you don’t have to be strong
The most honorable quality you can possess
Is the ability to admit you’re wrong

Let our attitudes be inspiring
Stick it out through thick and thin
For all of us can lead
We just have to look within


Details | I do not know? | |

Glow

Glow
Look at me!
My body’s
Fresh, new
And shapely too!

Watch me bloom
Like a wild red rose,
Watch my character
And confidence
     grow,
          grow
             and grow


As I become a
Glowing beautiful woman
That everyone wants
To know.

Watch my life take
Flight to places
That are unknown.


The world’s my
Open book,
Now let me
Start my
Amazing story!

I’m ready
To go,
Watch me glow.


Details | I do not know? | |

Everything

I have it all here,
Yet it's you that I want near.
My heart still believes
You to be a dear part of me.

What more do I need
When I already have
Everything indeed?

I have a dream,
Yet something that first should be
Redeemed would be
My generosity and honesty.

Bringeth me renewed feeling
You have done through
Your deed of befriending me.

I have it all already,
Though truly you are everything
I have searched for,
For what seems to be an eternity.


Details | I do not know? | |

Brighter Thoughts

Ya know what's currently happening as of this moment.
The way I am channeling my own thoughts and what I am typing here...
In a very positive and powerful manner.
The light bulb above me, on the ceiling, 
All of a sudden has a rainbow circular light around it
And it was flickering as if it was getting brighter!

Incredible what I saw with my own eyes,
By holding back my blinking tendency,
I had seen proof of my new positive thinking...
Why am I all of a sudden 
Writing these poems outta the blue.

It is true that this is my own sort of talent,
In a certain sense,
Right now though something amazing
Is happening to my thought frequencies.
A-a-amazing I am currently
Doing all this thinking
And am so peacefully
Self-believing and self-trusting,
Self-realizing and self-liberating.


Details | Rhyme | |

So Good

A comfortable sound; is found in the pews
 	Illuminated, we are feeling the Good News
As this providence is caught alive
	All tempestuous thoughts of transgressors subside
Hallelujah, HE brings divine will for all of us too…
	It is so good to hear the sweet sounds from the pews


Details | I do not know? | |

Sweet Sorrow

Suddenly feel so blue,
And so her hair changes
Along with her true moods.
Suddenly realizing
She's alone and
Listening to her tunes.
The sun seems to set,
As she sits on an odd bench.

The golden orb 
Seems like the moon.
Staring across from where
She thinks,
There's a place called her home.
Sweet sorrow fills her mind
With thoughts of what comes
Tomorrow and the days after.

I'm alone...
And the clouds hide
Stars in space,
I sit there and retrace.
A small frown pains my face.

Though eventually,
Like the stars,
My feelings
Will be soon hidden.
I'll soon return to happiness
In that very place.


Details | I do not know? | |

I Shall Remember

Those days were filled
With joy and singing.
Because of that;
My present days are now worth living
And smiling through.

Remember during a storm,
We've seen a rainbow
Through a window
That was part of a room
Where we pretended to have feathers
And danced around an invisible fire.

Bonds are like a rainbow;
The happiness that was shared
Eventually fades away.
Though such a bond is gone,
Another rainy day goes by
And the rainbow appears again.

So now... I'll always remember
That life is like a sea
(An ocean of memories)....
And even though "friend" has
The word "end"...
There is a "ship" in "friendship"
(Which leaves and returns).
I shall always remember such a metaphor...


Details | Rhyme | |

Needle

The needle scratches against the record
Almost like a tormented screech
The parents whisper that I have nothing left to learn
So, I guess I'll begin to teach
Although this isn't the life I wanted
It is the only one I could reach

The needle scratches the skin
Which makes a popping noise
The friends scream for me to listen
So, I guess I have no choice
I perk up my ears waiting for their voice
to pretend like I care and maybe rejoice

The pine needle falls from the tree
Without a single sound
I run with my dangerous ways
hearing my feet pound
I know what they all want to hear - that I'm happy-
I guess that's why they're always around

The record may screech
It never stops to a direct hault
As the skins gives way
the needle rests in the vein's  vault
Your friend's fingers try to stop it
But their touch might as well be salt

I am a simple pine needle fallen from it's tree
It's soothing to know that I am content
but these uncomforting thoughts won't let me be
I am not upset and I am not angry
I am not hurt and I am not unhappy
I just would like a few people 
to able to see what I see


Details | Bio | |

I'm A Mess

I Am. . .
still alive. I am still thinking, breathing, wishing, and dreaming. I am my own 
mentor, my own hynosis instructor, my own therapist. I am my own person, my 
own. No one else's. No one controls me. No one commands me. I am ME.

I know exactly what I want. I know who I am. A broken heart means nothing 
anymore. Bleeding sorrow has become just a small sidestep of everyday life; it 
means nothing. No matter what happens now, I can never again be whole. I can 
never again be broken in such a way that breathing is impossible. No matter; I 
can breathe now. 
 
I am it. I am special, strong, beautiful, confident, and my own person. No one 
else means anything to me; I am totally alone. No one can help anymore. No 
human being alive can put me back together again. I do not want to be whole. 
Whole pieces end up more broken than before. Broken pieces don't have to 
worry about getting broken, for they already are. I like being broken. Being broken 
is not a crime. Being alone is not a crime. I am on my own: perfectly ruined, 
perfectly broken, perfectly used, rusted, cracked, and pained. Perfectly dusty, 
scratched, beaten, and crumbled. In a perfect sense,

i'm a mess.


Details | I do not know? | |

High School

Ah, that smell of bread from Home Ec.,
Just can't be real to me,
Because school just seems to be a part of everyone's misery,
But then I realize
The bread from there is as real as a bakery's.
And when I'm with my friend,
The fun of bugging her in the hallways
Never seems to end.

Then I take one more look at what school is like,
I begin to admit to myself
That it's not so bad,
But when my mother gets mat at me
About homework
I stress about how hard it all seems
And think that my teachers are all jerks.
But I always finish it off in the end,
And then the whole cycle goes around again.
The truth is, I always change my mind and say
My teachers are so nice that I could consider them friends,
Sometimes I only pretend to like them.

But what's worse then teachers
Is how I see people smoke
And hear their choices about drinking and parties.
I stare at them and think, "They're gonna be really ugly..."
'Cause I'll never give into peer pressure,
Because my only pleasures are a lot better.

High school is such a big thing,
That when the bell rings
A rush of students go up and down the stairs.
Once you get to class,
Sems like the assignment you get is a pain in the ass,
And it feels like the day will never end,
Especially if you don't have a friend.

I always want to sleep-in, but when I wake up
I think school is so lame,
And sometimes I sleep through the whole day.
And when the sky is grey,
It always seems to be trying to say
That there should be no sun rays on a day at school.
But then, I think through it again and believe that there will
Always be good and bad things in whatever life will bring.


Details | Lyric | |

What a Lost Soul

Since I am Here The Veil grows Stronger but, You're not here for me I'm just-- Another Lost Soul you know, The people you find on the curbs on streets, During Rainy Days not going anywhere but Deeper into their own Disease but, It's not a disease, for they look for cures for diseases Here the patient cares not Only I could say something like that but since I'm here I just might as well sit on the curb on a rainy day and drown in a new-state-disease what A lost soul I am never enough could satisfy always more What a Lost Soul


Details | I do not know? | |

stuck between beeps of the heart machine

there’s a lump in my throat.
a lump of all the problems
i tried to swallow.
to hide.

There’s a pain in my stomache.
the pain of all
the problems
i tried to swallow.

There’s a shortness of breath-
inside my lungs
from the hidden lump,
and the people surrounding
closing in.

there’s a murmur in my heart
from all the things
i do regret
to have said,
and not.

there’s a hope in my head
that sometime
i’ll awake from this 
coma,
to a warm white coat,
who’ll tell me i’m better.
the one who’ll shut off
the heart machine,
and give me their beat
to help me
                along.

but right now 
visiting time’s over,
and all i have to talk to
is the respirator.


Details | Ode | |

Untitled #206 / Icee

Mmm, Icee
it’s so
icy
so icy


Details | Blank verse | |

Yeah I know

Put downs fall from the sky like snow.

Slowly but painful.

"You're good for nothing!"

"Yeah, I know."

"You won't be anything in life, you know!"

"Yeah, I know."

"You're nothing but a dumb kid!"

"Yeah, I know."

"You're worthless!"

"Yeah, I know."

"Wow, I had no idea!"

"Yeah, I know."

"You're pretty good."

"Yeah, I know."

"You really have a gift."

"Yeah, I know."

"I've always believed in you."

"Wow, that's something I never knew."


Details | Rhyme | |

I Once Told Othes About Jesus


I Once Told Others About Jesus…

When I was young, I talked about Jesus to others…
I was proud to do it, and wasn’t at all “bothered.”

I remember witnessing to others at home and school.
I wasn’t ashamed of God, no matter the “rules.”

 I had a passion to witness back then…
A passion and zeal to see others born again!

I loved my Jesus!  Yes…  I really did!
 I had so much of his love I wanted to give!

Look at me now!  After all of these years!
I’ve “given in” to my own worries and fears!

I don’t talk about Jesus much like I should…
“Talking about Jesus?”  I keep it under “my hood.”

I’m not ashamed to talk about my family!
Why not talk about someone who’s made me happy?

It was Jesus who put my life back together!
Now, I’ve tried to remove him from my life forever!

“I’m so sorry Lord!”  “I Let you down!”
I asked for God’s forgiveness and fell to the ground!

I then felt the Lord’s hand…  His special touch!
He said; “get up my son!”
  “I love you so much!”

A new passion for Christ began to brew!
I shouted out loud… “Jesus…  I LOVE YOU!”

I was not ashamed to tell others of Christ any longer!
My passion to serve Christ…  I didn’t ponder!

I now love to share his love wherever I go!
For Christ has ransomed and purchased my soul!

He is and shall always be the Lord for me!
I once was lost… 
But now I AM FREE!

By Jim Pemberton


Details | Free verse | |

Method to the Metal

Hardened shells
Power
Control
Pulsing blood
Stretching veins
Quivering wrists
Just rebellious enough to feel evil
Evil death
One with evil
Unconsummate death

Pounding ears
Reflecting torment
Every
Lucid thought
Irascible memory
Desperate plea
Enveloped in
Thick passion
Excuseless rage
Unattainable outlet
Bruising
Screaming
Growling
Liquid
Beating my head
Loosens the tourniquet

Postiche creator
Ingulge 
Morbid 
Desire
They'll never know
What they've done






Details | Free verse | |

just to show you i can

hypnosis is the idea, ladies & gentlemen!
                              given the prognosis
[insanity] there is no cure, but there is always denial.
distort the mind for a while & it gives right in, 
i'm normal!
sane!
just like you!
what a dream come true, the thought of becoming equivalent
to a standard, a mold around a fault, giving the impression
that there is nothing wrong.
                          / not sure how we could be further
                                    from the truth. / 
let go of my youth as i have done long ago, let it go to the hands 
of experimentation, of testing every limit in existence. 
so much bad, coupled with the idea that there is none, cancels
every bit of guilt out, convinces the self this is the way to go.
           letmeout----- i've built my own walls just to rip
                         them down, just to show you i 
                         can.
i'm sick & you're sick & we're watching the rain accumulate
beneath our dirty paws, drinking the liquid straight from the
sky, just as the gods intended. 
         you're a liar. saying things that are not true. giving
         statements that have no meaning that have no use
         at all. you're fukcing yourself up.
but let me ask, who needs the ground? who needs gravity?
     clarity is seen through the loss of sight, hearing the voice
of divinity through ears that were said to be deaf. 
                   let's just go, & see what's there. what
                   do we have to lose?
everythingeverythingeverything------ is useless. we're useless.
without reason without point without any guidance at all.
           / let's wander.


Details | Lyric | |

Where Do You Want to Go From Here?

So where do you
want to go from here?
Our love,
our love has died
So where do we 
bury it in its grave?
And why?
Why’d it die?
I tried my best to keep the hope
you said that I should keep
But you, 
you let it out of sight
And I still think about you all the time
You’re on my mind
both day and night
I miss you
I need you here right now
Just brush the hair
from my face
and kiss me like you used to do
I miss you
I miss the way your lips taste
the way you bring a smile to my face
and all the peace you bring to me
the way you put my mind at ease
But you’re gone
and I can’t have you
No I can’t have you
anymore
But I still need you
I still need you
Yes,
I still need you
For now I guess
I’ll have to walk away
I’ll have to try to think
of something else
or crawl into my shell
just like I used to do
I know I said that I would try
not to cry
but I just can’t
I’ve failed you
All of this is just too hard
because I love you
I love you
and I still miss you
Yeah,
I miss you
I miss you
I miss you
I miss you


Details | Free verse | |

Untitled #120 / The skin on the tips of my fingers

The skin on the tips of my fingers
is peeling off! Help me!
So is the skin all over my body!
Help! Oh wait!
So is your skin!
It’s all natural!
Nothing to fear!


Details | Free verse | |

Thunderstorms

booming thunder
far away.
blinding lightning
illuminates the room.
rain pounding 
against the tin roof.
cars swim
through the flooded streets.
thunder again.
closer.
louder.
like a gunshot
ringing in my ears.
people outside
running for cover.
rain slows
but only slightly.
i hear faintly
the familiar wail
of the siren
"get to safety".
all this i watch
while safe 
and warm
in my room.


Details | Free verse | |

Logos

Logos! The Word of God What is the Word of God? to kill whom detest and perceive God in a foreign Manner? but isn't to Love thy neighbor as thyself? You must truly hate yourselves then Deny all, what is left to accept your heart will call back


Details | I do not know? | |

Blue Bird Of Happiness

It's funny, how the first precious gift you've given me
Had coincided with a certain song I keep hearing.
I always started dreaming
Of seeing you again,
After I made our friendship disappear for two years.
I went from crying tears of sadness
To tears of gladness.

The skies and the seas are always my true blues,
Seas that were as deep as me missing you,
And the sky
Is where the gift that came from you
Flew away.
It came back to me spiritually
And it's given me my old strength again.

My memories of me and you
Shall never end,
Because I know, that no matter where I go,
My blue bird of happiness will always
Show me the way back
To where we last left track of each other.

Now I truly feel that we are best friends for real.
Seems like we'll be friends forever,
If we are not
Then I will always keep my most prized treasures.
Because you were one of my bestest friends.
Thank you, my friend
For my blue bird of happiness.


Details | I do not know? | |

Shy Guy (Once Again, I Just Can't Win)

I’m tired of being the shy guy,
I’m voicing my desires tonight!
No longer will I sit on the sidelines,
waiting to be noticed!
No!
Tonight I’m drawing your attention to me!
I will no longer sit in silence!
I will no longer be this quiet!
Why am I shy anyway?
Why do I live inside this shell?
Alas, I remember now,
whenever I leave it,
my bravery turns safety into Hell.
But if the safety of my Berlin Wall causes me to miss out,
makes me begin to regret,
why is it I still stand behind it?
Once again,
I just can’t win.


Details | Rhyme | |

Saved and Undercover

I thank the Lord I really do,
For giving my soul a glow.
I want to live a saved life you see,
But I don’t want anyone to know.
I thank the Lord, I really, really do,
For calling me to do a work I’m not worthy of.
I’ve been given gifts and abilities to use,
But to benefit the world it would be easier than above.
I love to dress with the name brands and all,
From the finish back to the start.
But looking and living like I’m saved?
I’ll only at church and home live the part.
You see sometimes when I’m with my peers,
I don’t want to stand out so much.
So I seek not to edify whom I call my “Lord”,   
And the acceptance more of my “click” than His touch
I’m a lover of music, I even play an instrument,
I love gospel music I really do.
But I’m sort of ashamed to be the real me,
So I sing the same songs that they do.
I have a call on my life I realize,
And to hear Your Word I must sit in.
But rather than sit and adhere to Your Word,
I’d rather choose to mingle and fit in.
My dad is a deacon, my mom an evangelist,
And I am even a Sunday school teacher.
But when I am out among those of my peers,
I choose not to show a definite distinct feature.
“Let your light so shine…” is what it reads,
“…before men…” is whom it is to.
“…that they may see your good works…” 
And this means that WE MUST DO.


Details | I do not know? | |

Don't make your children bare your crucifix.

Don’t make your children bare your crucifix.
Children won’t forget and can’t fix.
Children born in such a big world having to fight,
The only friend they have is a closet where they hide at night.
The day a mother married him a child died.
Memories of a childhood left behind.
An innocence that died inside.
Survivor of abuse passing on what’s defied.

Don’t make your children bare your crucifix.
Children won’t forget and can’t fix.
Children born in such a big world having to fight,
Parents treat your children right.
Don’t beat each other up tonight.
Children shouldn’t live in terror or be a cross-barer.
Don’t turn you children into a lifeless shell
Doomed to live here in hell.
Parents see your children hurt.
Parents see what innocence like that’s worth.

Don’t make your children bare your crucifix.
Children won’t forget and can’t fix.
Children born in such a big world having to fight,
Letting them live should be more than a right.
Jesus bared that crucifix
So our children’s faith wouldn’t inter-mix.
God put his child on the cross
So our children wouldn’t have to feel the cost.
He took the tears and pain
So our children wouldn’t have to sustain.
He loves all little children its true
But that doesn’t mean he loves them for you.
Blessings and gifts you never knew,
Parents you still have a job to do.
So before you give you children a reason to run and hide
Remember why Jesus was the one crucified.


Details | Rhyme | |

Background Noises

Listlessly watching tonelessly seeing 
Hands twisted into the harmony of defeat 
Minds growing with the molds of the unfolding 
Of the sonnet of fate and its moments of discreet 
Senses drowning into the pit of your false confidence 
The urgent beating of a broken heart 
Cascading velvet shuddering under the weight of the wind 
Twirling among the blackness of this art 
Tapping awareness in the annoying glare of an eye 
Simple caress in the world in which you try 
Little baby longing for its mother 
Or the mournful wail of a wolf before it dies 
You hear them everywhere, you cannot escape them 
They are your leeches that haunt your every thought and dream 
It is almost impossible to win against such renewing, 
of a busted mind mourning to its very last frail seam 


Details | Blank verse | |

Dark Veiled Eyes

Why can you see behind Black Eyes Is the veil too dark? Too dark for you to venture through This nether-world realm called my mind Burn away the trust like I Never was there Take away the hearts tossed in oil So slippery can you hold on? Fallen grace is to be found here Burned from the dark I was Frozen by the grace I was Loved by the sorrow I was Veiled my Eyes are You'll never try to find what's wrong The dark is too dark for you to venture through You are scared, you are frightened


Details | Free verse | |

Life Will Always Be A Saint

The stars will always dance 
Around the orbit of innocence 
Where no murder or lies 
Can taint the throne of the skies 
The grass will always be green 
No matter how much blood is shed 
Because strength has prevailed 
Against the dangers of rotting 
The sun will always glow 
Proclaimed with glories cloak 
It will shine against pain 
And rule over its master called confusion 
Oh the heavens will rain 
And flowers will bloom 
No matter how much acid tears are stained 
Upon its stems 
Light will always dance 
In the faith of seeing 
It will always be heated 
No matter how much chill is fathered 
Innocence will always stand strong 
No matter how much lies taint 
Its flowing reason for living 
Life… will always be a saint 


Details | Free verse | |

Reflections

Looking,
Daydreaming,
Wondering
About me

Staring,
Lifelessly
Into the glass that looks back
Thoughts coming from everywhere hinting at what I lack

The mental capacity
To stand up for me
The physical shape
To have the guys look my way

The self-esteem
To make me feel good about being me
To speak up and out for me
To make people feel intimidated by me

The braveness of being me
Scared to be seen
So I hide
Hide behind what's easily seen in the look of my eyes


Details | I do not know? | |

White Rose

A White Rose grows in a bed of weeds,
Spawning bad intentions and evil deeds
Suffocated and soon invaded,
This rose knows what it needs,

For no one thinks a White Rose,
--So pure and serene,
No one thought it did--but it knows what it needs,

A Red Rose sprouts through the cruel concrete,
Stubbornly walking without having feet,
Ironic it seems, holding to it's dreams,
This rose learned how to breathe,

For no one thinks a Red Rose,
--So simple and ordinary,
No one thought it could--but it learned how to breathe,

A Black Rose bloomed in the dark of the night,
Unsung and labeled as an ugly sight,
Neglected and still, solid it's will,
The rose knows how to fight,

For no one thinks a Black Rose,
--So shadowed and wicked,
No one knew it would--but it still bleeds red.


Details | I do not know? | |

Just a Glance

If the mirror shows the truth
Then the mirror scares the hell out of me
It shows how much I've aged
I can see the bitter defeat in my eyes
The wear and tear of my experiances have caught up with me
I can barely recognize myself
But no one else seems to notice
With acceptance a million miles away
And ignorance right in front of me
I'll choose to be blind like all the others.


Details | Free verse | |

do you know how many times you & i've died?

do you know how many times 
you & i’ve died? 
i don’t think you do 
let’s start with . . . 
 
i fell out, fell far, fell hard 
from a tree 
you dropped off 
the monkey-bars 
i stepped into the invitation 
of a stranger’s car 
you grabbed a wire. . . bare 
i dove, with confidence, in shallow water 
you took a dare 
i stayed too long on a railway track 
you found a hill and ‘jack & jill’ed’ your back 
in fact 
both you & i. . . at the same time 
tried something new 
i went green, you turned out blue 
i remember too 
crossing against the light 
looked left, should’ve looked right

it’s amazing to me, that we’re able to say 
no matter how many times you & i’ve died 
‘we live another day’
 


Details | Ballad | |

Liar of The Broken Beads

Desribe the word you use when you broke the trust You Lost control and broke all barriers No-one will take you back Redemption was meant for the willing No tears are shed I try so hard to help you But do you even want to get better? How does it feel when nobody will grieve for you You're the liar of the broken beads You had all you wanted but you're never satisfied No tears will be shed No-one will grieve You're the liar of the broken beads


Details | I do not know? | |

Alone, I Cry

I put up fronts for the people around me
Like different masks I can change
for a given situation
Honestly, no one knows the real me
And honestly, I don't know if there is one
So at night
Alone, I cry
In the morning
when the light shines through
trying to make everything 
clean and pure
I reflect
wondering
"What's wrong with me?"
"Why can't I be happy?"
I smoke my cigarette
and try to collect myself for the day to come
But every day seems to be blending
into another
I can no longer tell them apart
But every night
Alone, I cry
It seems to be all that I have left
But even that is something to hold onto
So I smile as the tears
fall down into oblivion
I embrace the darkness
Alone, I cry.


Details | Free verse | |

Advice for Jentry

Brother, don’t spend lifetimes
alone sitting staring at electrified screens
or lost adrift in a sea of remorse
hours spent transient blown around like clouds, for
no one knows where you, or I, or our parents’ parents
came from, nor where resides the final resting place of the soul
but that we live, and live for but little
a meal, a warm bed, a fridge, a television
a car, a home, acceptance, joy, love
memories such as these condense and pack ever more tightly to your chest
as time wears on, ‘til by the end all is returned to nothingness
but know that no other man is you, no other life is your own;
may you forge ahead bold through your holy life,
and blaze a trail for lesser men to follow.


Details | I do not know? | |

My Ghetto

Strange is it to me that we all grew up in the same Ghetto where

I came from.

Yet, we can’t see it’s not the white man we are trying to beat?

Take a look around you and tell me if you see what I see...

No white man, broke that glass in your street?
No white man, made that brother get drunk or high off weed?
No white man, made that brother steal your TV?
No white man, made that brother drop out of school?
No white man, made that brother put that gun to someone’s head?

The picture I see, is so plain to me, it’s just you and me? 

You’re the one’s turning this place into this Ghetto you see...

So, you tired of the ghetto and you want to get out?

I think not? Because you’re all too busy blaming the white man for all your own 

faults.


Details | I do not know? | |

white.

I want to fall-
spin through the floor.
Leaving my mind off
at the door.

I want to go to a place
that’s new.
So, drop your books
and fall through.

Linger with me
in the white today.
We’ll hold hands
‘till we fade away.

Let’s leave our lives
we’re blindly living,
because I’m so tired
of working and giving.

One day we’ll come
back from our brake.
Refreshed, renewed
when we awake.


Details | I do not know? | |

Hyper Eccentricity

Cleanliness I absolutatingly fear...
For I only luv the mess I see,
It makes me believe I am not alone
In this sight of a messed-up and lonely room.
It'sh scaring me seeing purified spirit
With all th-this cleaned up vision.
Mirrors reflect my cleaned room...
In the darkness, within the shadows,
Are haunting red, yellow, and green:
Lights which are known as eyes
According to my mind...
Not as ordinary as others may seem...
For I am rather filled with secret eccentricity,
I loves seeing people electrified when in
Sight of my real personality:
Hyper eccentricity!


Details | I do not know? | |

Searching for Me...

As the minute hand ticks and the days drip like rain,
The person I thought I was and I aren't the same,
The wind blows dreams and other dead debris
And I'm left searching for me...

I feel like I'm losing myself to me,
Sacrificing who I am for who I want to be,
My reflection is shattering, ripping at the seams,
The light in my eyes is the darkest I've ever seen
I've lost myself in me

As the passion dies and the current slows,
The person I never was always knows,
The dark hides lies and the pain in my eyes
And I'm left searching for me...


Details | Light Poetry | |

' Dissertation On Beauty ... '

If Aiming For Beauty
Pretty, Is Nice
But Plain Vanity
Is A Venal-Vice

Inner Beauty:  Is A Necessity
Outer Beauty:  (Maybe) Superficiality
Outer Beauty:  May Impress Memory
But Inner Beauty:  Lasts An Eternity

Now, As A Teen
I Did Preen
 Too Much Esteem
 Oldest, Sister Seen …

So, As A Teen, I Was Told
Advice To Shape- Mold
Words:  Worthy-Gold
Listen:    Behold …

“You Are Pretty, Yes It’s True
But Just Wait A Minute or Maybe Two
All In Time and Life’s View
Will Come Someone … Prettier Than You

So, Don’t Be A Victim-in-Error
Like The Queen, due to Snow White and A Mirror
Of Course, There’ll Be Somebody Fairer
So, Don’t Be A Silly-Comparer …

… ‘Cause, The Prettiest Person
Is Ugly To Someone
And The Ugliest Person
Looks Good To Somebody, Hon …

Lovely, Is As Lovely Do …
Be A Portrait and Not Just Surface-Cute
Be A Shame, If Someone Spends Time With You
And Sees, Ain’t Nothing Else, Or Nothin’ New

‘Cause I’ve Seen People
Who Were ‘Knock-Outs’ ! …
That is, Until
They Opened Their Mouths

And Revealed Hostility
In Hearts
Made Attraction-Desirability
… Depart

See:  Mean and Envy
And A Barb-Wire Tongue
And Harm and Dumb …
Starts When Young

So, Strive To Be Kind
A Gentle Heart-Smile
Clean and Sweet
And Your Own-Love-Style

… Also Godly Fear
And Inner Beauty Will Appear
Your Outer Beauty Will Be Clear …”
… My Stunning Sister, I Still Hear …

“Beauty … Is In The Eye Of The Beholder”
Especially True … As We Grow Older


(I'm Remembering Jenny ... I'm Remembering)


Details | Free verse | |

Secrets

I kissed him in the sunlight 
On the old brick wall 
while a cold wind blew in
Traces of the coming fall
As he breathed out and smiled at me
I turned and blushed shyly
This is our secret romance 
Our hidden tryst
Full of tales and half truths
White lies you get the jist
But our love is strong enough
It doesn't matter what they say
At least that's what we hope and pray
He smiled as the twinkle 
Slowly left his eyes
He held my hand gently 
Theses secrets will be our demise

 


Details | Free verse | |

break a leg

structure seems to soften slightly
under your steps; systematic leaps
up, over & out into the depths. eyes
dilate & grow cold from so many deaths;
no longer wept; burn out. here,
listen, the shout of sense echoes at our
expense, shadows the oncoming threat.
no more resistance, let all awareness go-
as the curtain releases, shields the show.


Details | I do not know? | |

Comming Down

I can't understand why I have no control over myself
Left hanging in the wind
with a tremendous awe 
splattered across the still functioning
parts of my brain
I see it happening
I know that I should stop
But what will be left for me if I actually stop
More time to try and resolve
the whos 
the whys
and the hows
And sober at that
within no time 
the volcanic rage and the rivers of depression 
inside of me
will explode and flood the whole pathetic planet
The old me
with its near balance of living
will be torn to shreds
and allowed to float among the stars
before being sucked into 
the complete hell 
I have created
Where the dreams die
Where you realize 
there is no mystery
our lives mean less than nothing
Time and Space devours all
leaving us with even less than before
I am saving you all
going nowhere and 
destroying my body
murdering my brain
all so the real me stays inside.


Details | I do not know? | |

Shattered doll

Shattered doll tattered and torn 
Tossed aside and not played with anymore.
You ragged material compared to me.
You must be begging to be free.
Used up and worn
Missing buttons galore.
You probably wonder what you existence is for.
You cotton is sticking out.
Your stitching is coming out.
No one plays with you anymore.
A doll so poor.
You are now thrown away.
No one wants to play.
Ragged tattered shattered doll.
You are agonized with the fall.
You are me!
I finally see.
I stand tall,
As a ragged tattered shattered doll.


Details | ABC | |

First Date

first date  

Just because 
I ate
you paid
doesn't mean 
I lay 
I open
I preen
Take me home
fast as you can
I'm too young
your'e too much a man
I want to lay in my mama's bed
I want to watch the news
I want to hear how people died
that's not as scary as you


Kim
1st  put on my mama's site


Details | Free verse | |

which way

the show lies behind
the curtain, in the
depths of eyes
uncertain of 
which way to
look. i took the
key from me,
hid it where i
couldn't see, &
curled up against
the bars of night.
ghosts, shrouded
in sheets of light,
arrive in masses,
leaking right on
thru. despite their
hunger, there was
nothing they could
do- i was un
alive, i was able
to survive.


Details | Light Poetry | |

Can You Hear Me Now?

In the Bible the book of James reads like a Shakesperian play
With words that are archaic and not used as much these days
James writes of his concerns about how to lead an ethical life
How one should communicate in order to follow the ways of Jesus Christ
But in society today proper language seems to have gotten lost somehow
Can you understand what people are saying, can you hear me now?
For It's not so much as what you say, but It's how you say it.

Ebonics, street lingo and generation X slang words
It's not so much  about can you hear me, 
but do you understand what you have heard
"Put some frosting on your bling-bling"
Now what in the heck does that mean?

Some rap music isn't so bad, 
If you can comprehend the main point
But most of those songs seem to address violence 
and the gangster life in the joint

We need to set an example with the proper Christian tone
Re-teach the youth of today to communicate
in a language that's not all their own
May God make them the instruments to carry forth His story
Pray that they come to understand the with Him, there Is glory

Can you hear me now? a slogan that Verizon does use
Can you understand me now with the words that I choose?
The diversity in the university
Is just a sign of the individuality
There's nothing wrong with being unique 
and marching to the beat of a different drum
BUt can you hear me now 
and do you understand where I'm coming from?



Details | Free verse | |

self cornered by the self

rest easy
lost in this maze-
amazed- can't get out.
'help' useless,
can't find their way
in. safety made 
by inversions.


Details | Free verse | |

A Beautiful Night

Looks like something i would see in a dream
everything seems to be just right

the moon is shining, the stars surrounding, 
protecting Her from all harm. 
Never in my life have i seen such a beautiful night, 
it glows with charm. 

But the clouds start rolling in, dark and cold
swallowing the moon and stars whole. 

for within something so beautiful cannot be all good
everyone has their faults, why not accept it?
let people live their own life, quit with the judging. 
why can't we all just accept each other like the moon and the stars do?

For within anything that is hideous, there may be something beautiful underneath
so live and let live, i say. 
maybe the world will be a better place if we did.


Details | I do not know? | |

The Sorrowful Wine

iI've walked both roads, sipped both wines,
And while one was sorrowful and one divine,
I still can't help but find the sorrowful wine,
Is the wine that I prefer

Broken hearts and sharpened words,
Pain and tears that should never be heard,
The deceitful ways of those bees and birds,
I prefer the sorrowful wine

For the one that dines and sleeps alone,
Is never in search of their heart's home,
They're comfortable in themselves, it's shone
They prefer the sorrowful wine

I've been on both sides, played both teams,
And while one is lonely and one serene,
I still find myself evermore wishing,
For a sip of that sorrowful wine

Darkened eyes and angry tears,
Diminished hopes and realized fears,
Lonely times always drawing near,
And I prefer the sorrowful wine

For the bird that flies through open skies,
Never a mournful tear she cries,
Never facing the sting of lover's eyes
She only tastes the sorrowful wine.


Details | Free verse | |

toys

toys with thread
smiles- wide open plastic
eyes- cotton blood-
curled in the arms of
unknowns.
play with it- lay, don't
stay with it- crave its
compliant comfort- outgrow
it- don't know it at all.
sewn to be soft & ready-
picked from the shelf so
steady- warmed to sleep
unalone- torn, unravelled,
thrown.
toys- loved without language-
without reason- short lived
nonlives- unclosable wide
open eyes- disposable- no
goodbye.


Details | Free verse | |

sense of humor

cracks between doors,
like rats, fingers course
thru, corrode against
the inside of a clenched
fist. cease, this silence,
i insist(bite tongue, each
word, penance)suffer,
humor is a sense-
shattered glass tickle
bare feet- the caveat
of clenched teeth. mis-
placed morality, i do
appreciate your sin-
cerity; fate compromised
(the hands of time, 
mesmerised in back&forth 
instants). "it is okay"
someone will say; but 
words change & fall away
like leaves, all intent
bereaved.


Details | Free verse | |

it was no mistake

i need
therefore i feed
across the lands
biting the hands
that reach-
it was no mistake
to breach 
to take what wasn't 
mine- i was
only trying to
find a way back.
the moment
the attack
thrives inside
swallowing lives-
i feel 
therefore i fall
so small
so scared
progression no
longer impaired
sparks fire 
cracks the ice
overwhelms the night
which believed
darkness would
suffice.


Details | Free verse | |

internal anarchies

addicted i am to this faux feeling, all these worlds created upon apathetic 
absolution ; the
game can only begin when you stop wanting to win, when you've accepted there's
nothing left to lose. bruise me, stability, rip the ground away & pull freedom taut. 
i've told you
many times i prefer the rust & loathe the shine; i choose to hurt this way. i am no 
one
who lives no where & dreams of no thing in farther no wheres ; i crave the brutish 
lick of
time to wear & tear the earth apart. earth is seen with the eye-- is the perception 
of i in
contrast to everything else; in effect, reality is various. told what is wrong & what 
is 
less wrong, avoidance-avoidance conflict as nothing is good enough to be seen 
as such. forget
manners & proportion-- let's trade skin & touch. much of what is learned is 
what's observed,
lean in closer & take a second look [life is blind] -- so much we can find 
unrestrained by
sense.


Details | Lyric | |

The IRS Doesn't Care About This Type of Dependency

I’m so dependent on the love you give to me
it’s the reason why I’m able to be happy
My pick-me-up when I am feeling down
My biggest fan when I’m being a clown
You keep all my fears grounded
with the sound of your voice
as you try to comfort me
when I feel like there’s no other choice
You have this hold on me
and I hope you never let me go
I’m so dependent on you
Surely it must show?
Babe, all I want from you
is for you to know
that you mean so much to me
and you’re why I’m finally free
to put a smile on this face of mine
and really be happy


Details | Free verse | |

an attempt to fly

perspective[at your own risk] the
brisk collapse of borders;
hanging over the side of the
sky, there they go, an attempt
to fly____ cut off, veins look
like tangled chords, fire hazard
tempting the trembling outstretched
hand-- grab on, pull, unravel the 
threads holding you in.


Details | Free verse | |

alley cat

once there was a girl
with big green eyes
yet before the sun
was fully seen,
(big surprise) someone
unfurled the girl-
what more- what poor
poor innocent soul
who suffered the toll
some body stole.
how sweet it was-
remeet me cuz
i'm gone. so smart
such great potential-
starving artist (seemingly
essential) make me
what you want to
see; i'll be whoever,
i'll do it with glee,
(when i cannot see)
i trust you- you
lust me- i'm confused 
until you teach me,
burst in, breaching my
little brim. no matter,
come in! come in!
it isn't i who commits
the sin-
not i, i couldn't even see in.
so much for growth, the
more sparks, the more it
distorts- creates distinct
pieces. stored in creases of
my skin oblivious, content
with the innate terror.
i'm a blinking VACANCY- what
you see __ whatever you
please. sit, stay- shut up & 
lie complacent; don't cry-
don't choke on the chain. nothing
in life is fair- come one- come
all, ride this- ride that
(all the while he sat,
cleaning himself like an
alley cat)


Details | Narrative | |

To the spigot, to the Spider

At sunset one summer evening I stepped outside to enjoy
the summer evening’s sunset and water the garden plants that were
dying in the draught. So I made my way towards the hose spigot at the
back of the house, and as I marveled at 
the purple sunset
a dark writhing Figure appeared before my eyes, eclipsing the sun
and stopping me dead in my tracks.
It was not a dragon. It was not a Ringwraith. It was a Spider, a huge Spider,
busily at work crafting an enormous web two yards across, spanning the forest to 
the bushes,
His labor diligent and instinctual like that of a master craftsman.
There I stood, marveling at Its pained yet natural movements, wondering when
some bird or wasp would descend upon the Thing
and rip out the Ugliness from the otherwise
perfect scene. But when I shifted my point of view
and the Spider no longer tarnished the backdrop of the sunset
I noticed It disappeared into the shadows around It
and would have been invisible to all but the
sharpest of eagle eyes. And as I blustered through an invisible strand of the 
webbing,
exciting the Demon even further, I knew
that the Thing must go. But how?
I knew how. I would give to It the same thing that I meant to give the garden 
plants,
for no terrestrial creature can long withstand the force of water.
So I unscrewed the spigot, marched around the other side of the house to grab 
the hose,
and walked back to the spot where I spotted the Spider.
But in my absence the Spider, too, had taken Its leave
and I wondered if Nature was not made for men 
to marvel at, or if in those moments
Nature does but laugh at us.


Details | Lanterne | |

Four Lanternes

Girl
laughing
smiling, too
talking to a
guy

Eat
your food
don’t you laugh
don’t you wonder
why

Be
one with
this feeling
underneath the
sky

Live
your life
be no one else
‘til the day you
die.


Details | Free verse | |

Untitled #55 / The upstairs hallway

I stand in the upstairs hallway, hearing
sparks of conversation between my two parents,
my eyes locked upon a distant orange light
that grows in strength as the sun fades.
Our house is a cavern, four souls separate
yet I feel too close.


Details | Free verse | |

it's never enough

it's never enough
wounds heal to make
flesh tough
leave scars to conceal
giving another impression
of what is real.
i am inanimate, i
cannot feel- i stand
strong like the trees,
swaying thru the wind's
breath, solemn & secure
as death. i envy
your emotion, the
incessant commotion of
time, yet i can't help but
pity you & the destinations
you may never find. i
do not dare care, for
living is never fair- my
sense is a presence,
instants on the surface;
it's never enough
to soften the rough
skin, the wear & tear
comes from within.


Details | Free verse | |

directions that lead to nowhere

caved in- the body stuck, enslaved in
civil war. the muck of convenience
insults the cure, tears through thick
leaving exit wounds sore. how much
more- test this- before these 
sparks catch flame? skin scratched,
open gash, the itch holds all the 
blame.

small in stature, she came, answering to 
another name; settling, seeking solice
in the shelter of silence. questions,
un-swallowed air, give directions
that lead to nowhere. progression,
such as growing, such as knowing
too much to bear; look away-
disgression will stay, sewing the
mouth shut before it can say.


Details | Lyric | |

Reflection In a Mirror

Looking in the mirror,

disgusted by what I see.

Nothing more than a reflection

of what used to be me.

How did I become the person I am now?

What changed me so quickly?

I disgust myself.

Wreaking of hypocrisy.

Seeing myself with leprosy.

I can't accept this as me.

I've become depressed once or twice.

I've become a pest to myself, 

my own body lice.

I've become this image in a mirror

with a sad story to tell.

I am the creator of my own personal Hell.

I wish I could shave my past away

like I can the stubble on my face.

I wish I could wash this disgrace away

with just a little soap and water.

Why do I beat myself up?

Why do I make myself give up?

Why aren't I the person I used to be?

Why can't I go back to just being me?

I want this pessimism to crawl away and die.

I wish the person I've become wasn't one big lie.


Details | Free verse | |

Main Motive

In a cynical world,
I cannot imagine a life ever after.
Not here, not now.
Not while we’re being watched by 
Generously,  judging eyes. 
Their gaping brings me to reside in 
Mind drilling, open regret.
Take off this weight as it
Clouds my mind and forces
My hands to tremble.
The chilling strum of some distant guitar
Pulls at the aching in my chest,
Fanning this flame of angst.
Now sitting wordlessly in icy water,
I do not sense the tears that
Swell and drop in tumbles
Making swirls of mixed heat.
I think of what I wish for and
Why I’d never get it,
Like a three year old pondering
The undeniable unfairness of life.
A question fumbles idiotically with 
A chemical in my brain.
If I am not left this time,
Who am I to leave with?


Details | I do not know? | |

A Blast from the Past (2005)

Seeing the shadows of the taunt 
The memories refresh and haunt 
At a glance the heart races
So many changes, but still the same faces
History scares and often re-infects
All that dies also resurrects  


Details | Romanticism | |

My Bad Dream is Reality

I close my eyes as I try to push it back in my mind
It’s just wasted time 
The memories are embedded
The feelings cemented in here
There is no escape
No freedom to be found
They are a part of me
Who I am
Who I will remain
Happiness short-lived,
Usurped by a constant pain
A brokenhearted melancholy
I cannot sleep
I cannot eat 
I cannot live
I cannot be me anymore
When I close my eyes,
You’re still staring at me
On your porch that pretty summer night
The words I hear,
Enter my ears,
And infect my heart
As you begin to stumble in telling me,
That we are falling apart
I open my eyes,
And to my demise
My bad dream is reality
A look in the mirror,
Red, sleep-deprived eyes staring into me
It’s no surprise you couldn’t handle me
I’ve been trying to for years
I wish there was a way
That I could go back to that day
When you told me your reaction to when I confessed my true feelings
It could have ended then,
That April day
Life would have been easier I do believe
There wouldn’t be so much attachment,
Resulting in less to be grieved
It would have been so much easier,
If I were the one setting you free


Details | Free verse | |

Anger

I am Anger,
I feel Anger,
I have Anger in my eyes and tears,
Shield your heart,
I am toxic,
And I am lethal when I'm near.

I am Wrath,
I feel Wrath,
I have Wrath in my bones and blood,
Shield your body,
I am violent,
And I tend to hurt those I love

I am Hatred
I feel Hatred,
I have Hatred in my heart and mind,
Shield yourself,
I am irate,
And my tempestuous rage is blind


Details | I do not know? | |

SECOND BEST

HAVE YOU EVER FELT NOT GOOD ENOUGH
NOT EVEN IN LOVE.
WHEN IT COMES TO FRIENDS I FAIL THE TEST.
I COME IN SECOND BEST.
WHEN IT COMES TO MOST CHOSEN
YOU’RE NOT MOST.
WHEN IT COMES TO LOOKS
YOU NEVER MADE THE BOOK.
I AM SECOND BEST.
IT RESTS AT BETTER THAN NOTHING
BUT WHAT IS NOTHING?
I CAN’T BE MYSELF AT ALL.
I DON’T STAND TALL.
I’M ONLY A NEED ME PERSON ON A QUEST.
I’M TIRED OF BEING SECOND BEST.


Details | Ode | |

Untitled #52 / An emerald eye

An emerald eye is painted on the starry wall
a wink, rogue kiss of the misty eyes
Oh! Your brown eyebrows are so thin,
your love so smooth
crush me into paper, and
glue me to your world


Details | Lyric | |

Atmosphere of Why and How

There are moments
when I let the gun speak its mind
and there are times
when pills seem so inviting
There are times when running towards them
is what I want to do
The rush of life and death
all in one piece of lead
The taste of highs
life could never give itself
And then I could just melt away
fade away into the atmosphere
of why and how


Details | I do not know? | |

I am made of...

I am made of death, life, death again, and everything inbetween...
the laughs the smiles and feelings yet to be seen...
I am made of hate and anger and things that reach obscene...
I am made of blood & tears and all my fears, 
overgrown and renamed throughout the years...
I am made of culture, wisdom and background,
set in stone for me to be, way before I was even born as me...
I am made of what you call "poor," and others "rich."
subjective from person to person,
no telling where is which...
I am made of girls who've played me
and the girls i've played.
Friends who've saved me and friends betrayed...
I am made of being lonely in a world of billions,
and being content in a room of one...
I am made of my virginity and the day that it was no longer mine...
I am made of memories subconscius,
and those who harrass my mind.
That is what I am made of
and with that I am fine. 


Details | Rhyme | |

The Lost and Misunderstood

The lost are the ones who can't find their way.
They often cry because they have no space
And have a hole in their heart that they need to replace.
(The lost only want to be in a better place).

The misunderstood are the ones that noone listens to, it would seem.
Maybe they aren't, or perhaps they are just naive.
They are confused by the garden of life, full of weeds.
(The misunderstood just want to know what they need.)

These certainly are traits that are good,
But maybe if they met, they could
Understand each other. (I think they would).
It depends. Are you the lost, or the misunderstood?


Details | Free verse | |

Pen Stains

The pen stains
you wear like badges
scattered tatters across
your khaki JNCO jeans
tell me more than
your irreverent demeanor

May you fly high.


Details | Verse | |

Ascension Avenue

All that was holy died in resplendence.
  kerbstones bit gutters and gutters sucked road,
black and white zebra stripes buried by snowflakes,
  wires fizzed and snapped as their cups overflowed.

Cars lay abandoned, the milk float down-charged,
  four-by-four mega trucks grounded and still,
seagulls kept guard on memorial statues,
  screeched at the sea that lay over the hill.

Behold velvet drapes flanking twitchy lace curtain,
  knuckles clenched white whilst brows knitted grey,
women of substance blew tea in bone china,
  until it fell cool at the passing of day.

All lowered eyes to the carpet and skirting,
  fingers flicked lint more imagined than real,
from the cuffs of their blouses, the plaid of their skirts,
  substitution for anything human to feel.

She who self-hanged in the cramped bedroom closet,
  hands dangled lifelessly down by her side,
lips black and swollen, ghost kissing conscience,
  tongue poking purple and eyes staring wide.

The avenue drowned in a quagmire of quiet,
  decency nailed to each window and door,
Winter would pass, taking with it the memory,
  for what, more or less, is another dead whore?

Spring is the mistress of life and vivacity,
  Summer the passion child, sweet honey breath,
Autumn the lover whose time is expiring,
  Then pale mistress Winter, and Winter is death.


Details | Free verse | |

Untitled #183 / 3:25 p.m.

3:25 p.m., reading Jack Kerouac on the porch
wooden bars obscure my vision of the world
I will break through them


Details | Free verse | |

unmarked snow

it is a relationship based on trust / based on I Must Have You
_____ Now / somehow / anyhow / need that blend of painguilt &
pleasure / by any measure, have to achieve the ____ maximum / (the
step before finito) //
      //where was it that i lost / you, / self? when did
      i agree to live like this? / i missed out on something /
      crucial / & i fear i've lost my chance to be / 
                                                     ok.
monsters / rest/ in the dark _____ i miss that / that bold
presence tensing my muscles / poising my mind for
every / little / thing that ever was / seconds registered &
remembered with the respect given to / years / a moment is
all it takes to ________ take you away. //
      //hygiene _____ seenfeltknown inside & out / suffering /
      pretending so hard that it's worth / it. the universe is
      in a fit / thrashing about the cage of man-made
      rage / release sought in the singular death of / a
      faith, one by one / every following murder is easier /
      than the _____ previous.
teach me the true meaning / of / now _____ show me how
to forget all the standards i've let myself / pick up / leave
my body of anything below the Best & with the rest _____
_____ destroy. / ignorance is a virtue, allow me to stay
blind while you pursue / the occupation & i can blame
it on not / knowing / any _______ better //
      don't ask me / why, / i'd defend it to the death / 
      it was worth the try ________ .
lean back ____ clear / your / mind / see how long it takes
you till you can't find / yourself / ____ after a while the
awareness gets put / back on the shelf due to / lack of
use. the constant impending abuse is a bafflement, hanging
between every / slip / of ________ for it remains the /
unexplained.
                                        / i'm walking straight into hell
                      too fukced up to tell
exactly why it was i fell. /


Details | Blank verse | |

Pain And Somnambulism

Pain is a solitary shaft of sunlight
piercing the fathomless depths of a wishing well,
reflected off the tin-can shards in dark prismatic waters,
refracted spears of realisation and the blinding truth they tell.
Looking backwards with somnambulistic vision
I can trace precisely and account for every minute of every day;
yet the wishes coming true as I grow numb and older
are the ones I make instinctively to wish my life away.
Half an existence spent inert, dog-tired, asleep:
a long and protracted coma in near dreamless sub-consciousness;
the windows to this sedated soul have been closed for half my life
and the hurt when they were opened helped me sleepwalk through the rest.
They say time flies when you’re having fun
but it still shifts apace when beset by misery and fear,
agonisingly stretched and elastic as time progresses,
accelerating down the decades, hot-rodding faster by the year.
It seems like aeons since childhood’s languid mainframe
spanned what felt century-long summer days;
the time-killing carefree vacuum ‘till the tolling of the school bell,
calmly, achingly dragged-out through egg-frying pavement haze.
Then the psychomotor retarded tread of winter footfalls,
softly, thuddingly imprinted by frosty power-cut nights,
hyped increasing excitement of Christmas morn expectation
for the day itself to burn out like warp-speeded candlelights.
For certain, I don’t know, but I feel I am to blame, a sleeping sleepwalker at fault,
for I did all that I could, by doing so little, to make this pain occur;
my past encapsulates into seconds, minutes, an hour
whilst my future is gone in the blink of an eye,
just a spectre…a figment…a blur…


Details | Free verse | |

Crying Clowns

Youth
Lost to a crowd
Everyone there
No one around

Painted faces
One act plays
High wire acts
Hidden frowns

Sad clowns were we
Above them
Beneath them
Yet lost to no one

Everyone was there
To laugh awhile
Until we cried
Then no one was around
To catch
A crying clown


Details | Free verse | |

30 seconds in my room.

dirty carpet.
plastic hearts,
the colour of fresh blood.
a lovers refusal.
a crickets harmony.
the chill of august before its pain is unleashed.
biting nails and tongues.
feeling pins and needles on a left hand.
on edge.
off topic.


Details | Free verse | |

couldn't keep still

i tried to draw a shadow,
couldn't keep still;
it flew from me. i wanted
more chances as i saw
them, shadow dances sparkled
from corner to corner.
couldn't keep still;
love until dark skies wiped
out stars, no more damage
for they've dried into scars;
couldn't keep still.


Details | Free verse | |

to the things that go lifeless, cheers

(if this [you] were something--- anything with any sort of
value----- can't say something nice, don't say nothing at all.
[double negative] double trouble, take what you did, times it by
a million, & that's what you're paying for. i can't be sure that i'm
right, but i've always been positive that you're wrong; fact is
fictitious, make it up as you go. _____ accidents may happen,
but this continuance insinuates calculation / deliver me from
this hell)o mirror, what have you here?


Details | Lyric | |

Tendencies

My self-destructive tendencies
are finally catching up with me
The sleepless nights
and endless days,
all lost within an exhausted haze,
and all are making me slowly fade away
I can feel my strength dissipating
Right now everything is just too frustrating
as I feel my health slowly slipping into disease
When does life count more than dreams?
It seems that line is undefined
Is doing what makes you happy
despite its ill-effects
and trying to accomplish what you want in life
despite its inevitable detriments
worth cutting your life a bit short?
Is that hastened death a bearable price
when you’re just trying to make your life a bit nicer for once?


Details | Narrative | |

Untitled #88 / Empty Pentagon

Late summer, late afternoon
in front of the empty Pentagon
the protest is over, nothing’s changed,
I’m walking home. But a young man,
black, blue jean jacket, buttons
passes in front. A smile exchanged.
The truth is known.


Details | Free verse | |

Twist of the Knife

I cry until I have no more tears left to cry.
I feel all the agony until I am numb inside.
I scream until I have nothing left to scream.
But it all comes back, again and again.

A never ending, gaping hole dark and but not empty.
It can never bee filled, a void from which nothing returns.
Swallowed up by the darkness, the emptiness.
Consuming and relentless in it’s pursuit of consumption.

A cut so deep it wont heal.
Every injury I suffer, made fresh with each move.
A stab to my fragile, trusting heart.
A twist of the knife and all is bare.

The walls begin to collapse all around me.
My world is tumbling down, I am frozen, completely.
Paralyzed, unable to move, there's no stopping the defeat.
The decimation that ends my life in this cruel and twisted way.
London bridge is falling down, but not as hard as me.


Details | Free verse | |

speechless

words are scared, gather
behind the tongue. feelings
are flung thisway & that-
defeat themselves, fall
flat. i don't know you any-
more, stripped down to 
your core, trembling,
barely here.


Details | Lyric | |

Insecure Being

I am an insecure being
Insecure with myself
Insecure with people
Insecure with the world I live in
I question intentions
even my own
I question the intentions
of everybody I’ve ever known
I am an insecure being
I have a hard time trusting
what people say
what people want
what people do
Chances are
I have a hard time trusting you
Not because you’ve wronged me
but because you might
Not because you’ve harmed me
but because others
have been wronged
and harmed before
I am an insecure being
I question all of my abilities
I question all of my thoughts
I question everything I am
I question everything I am not
I am an insecure being


Details | Free verse | |

better

eyes shiver from the cold
of your appearance.
to keep tears from falling-
stalling-
close those lids,
insulate that fear
as growing&better prospects
approach&
near.


Details | Free verse | |

damned

this life we live is a cold one & the bearing on my shoulders weighs a ton ---- i 
only thought i'd won.
how could mistakes have breached the mistaken? she's fakin! they're all fakin! 
please, indulgence,
don't be goin & takin my sanity away. i always tried to say what i felt, how i was 
doing (considering the life which
i was dealt), but the words get clogged & i drown in the unsaid. The Unsaid- the 
all that wasn't read, because the 
monster (as always) is asking to be fed. [i wish i were dead] speaking as though 
the phone was beeping, time 
ticking & snatching the feeling from me(ohmy ohmy)darling, i didn't mean this for 
you, i meant this for all
; meant for the effect of a unanymous fall.


Details | I do not know? | |

Loser

The loser,
The one who’s not the greatest chooser.
I’m not proud of the things I’ve done.
It seems the drugs have already won.
When it comes to escapes I have none.
They don’t think I’ve tried.
The truth is I tried so hard
I almost died.
It never used to be this way,
Drugging just to get thru the day.
I was a strait A student,
I never got in trouble,
And never missed a day.
No one knew what happened along the way.
I never got any thing I didn’t fight for.
I guess I was easy to ignore.
I was the one left out.
No one knew what I was truly about.
I tried to tell
But I was still left in hell.
Then the one person who heard died,
My mom, and I never got to say good-bye.
Right after I was kicked out the door.
Now I’m a drugged induced whore.
When I look in the mirror to see who standing in my place
I’m gone without a trace.
The loser,
A kid who fell off the right track
Unable to find her way back.
Theirs others like me.
They just hide it so you can’t see.
I wish I could quit and be free.
I’m reaching out to you,
But I’m a loser so your already threw.
I would like to do so many things,
But theirs a punishment that my life brings.
I live in pain everyday,
Making myself pay.
It’s too late to set things strait.
Living on the edge has landed me in a wedge.
No one sees this is what the world wanted me to be.
After where I’ve been,
I am forced to exist in a world I couldn’t live in


Details | Free verse | |

Autobiography

My deepest inner pinings thrown away.
You didn't care about them.
You said mean words that made me cry.
While you stood there and laughed like you just made a funny joke.
I couldn't see what you found so funny.
I am unloved and alone, less cared about than before.
Horrible migraines pound my head relentlessly.
The stress and pressure squeeze in from all sides.


Emotional knives thrown like daggers to my chest.
Trying to pierce the wall of solid ice clamped around my heart.
Icy fingertips that massage the pulse.
Forcing life into a freezing organ, unwilling to work on it’s own.
Blind to the lights, something doesn’t feel right.


My cries for help go unnoticed, get carried away by the fright.
Hidden from the night, I'm scared of the dark.
Shocked by new revelations.
Sadly, I am comforted by an old, familiar pain.
Dull now, after to many years of torment.
Take it away and I would only be a shell, lost in the cold.
Alone in my nightmare, I can almost forgot, it isn't a nightmare,
Just my life…


Details | Free verse | |

Silver encasement

Silver encasement
I rest my hands on
while my fingers
do the talking, walking,
pounding buttons
faster and faster
sloughing off of head
until they all
spiral out of control
and I’m already wrapped 
up inside another


Details | Free verse | |

classic

egg yolk
watered down
lost taste through the words you
spoke. classic;
same thing so long
like breathing, strength never
known to the strong-
alone- confusion concerning
blood within the bone.
as time crawls over skin,
irritation interrupts,
disrupts the slinking passage,
coercing acknowledgement
out of sentiment.


Details | Free verse | |

scorn me

scorn me-
said you, sanity-
free me from this
captivity (no
recognition, no one
can listen)
what more should be
asked / who
; left to bask in
the glory of the
slippery & sound 
"i'm sorry"
eyelids forced, 
bound down across
the face- sense
(erase) the mouth is
a cave, where not even
the brave may
escape.


Details | Bio | |

better than that

life should be enjoyable not unsuitable
but, with people that are so detestable it 
wont even come close to being good. 
But despite all the dislike i will shine 
i will be radiant like the stars at night.
i know lies are bound to put me down
but with a good soul i will toss all that out!
I know that there are splendit people out 
there ready to make life worth while.
Getting to were i want to be may be hard
but, till i get there i will be my best living all
the mess at rest.  Now if you think that 
you can make me blue with something 
that is not true or discourage me from 
gaining what i want to do.  Well youre wrong 
because i live life better than that.


Details | Free verse | |

Enter My Mind

Enter my mind
A sea of hope
A wasteland of despair
A valley of death

Enter my mind
See the pain that's been inflicted
Through promises broken
And words spoken cruelly

Enter my mind
See the hope that's sparked
By words spoken privately
Watch as it slowly fades

Enter my mind
View the many things
Happy moments lay scattered
Sparkling for all
Love burns brightly
For all those held dear

Enter my mind
And you can be the judge
Is all understood clearly
Or am I truly crazy


Details | I do not know? | |

Teenagers

Mood swings
Raging hormones
Exploring themselves 
Constant use of tone
Our future

© Stacy Lynn Stiles


Details | I do not know? | |

step one

i've fallen & i can't get up- let up, please, cease; disease,
murder me gone; open wide big fellow, then i'll bury the rest of you in
the lawn.
            hello / metal to magnet
      you were meant to be my little pet: angel, here, here is where it hurts-
                                                                            & i point to my chest.
the light's gone out on the rest, way fast, still takin my Crucial Test (my
score is in the negatives). i want to live as (never) before!
                                      want to build a brand new door &
                                      allow it's opportunity to lift me-----
                                                i want to soar.
    funny. not. what. they. expected. / projected from my pain to the sky's
  drops of rain, flooding houses full of children, full of anonymous loss.
                must pay this debt to society, must not let this reality
                                                erase me.


Details | Free verse | |

further access

bodies [under chemical reaction] rise & lose gravity,
travel about the air wistfully, like lost feathers.
wander away, thought, worry, you're pinning me down!
released with the discovery of clarity, touch replaces sound.
                                           hear me-
                              [the euphoria is contagious]


Details | Free verse | |

castle of cards

forget forget
don't let this cozy
castle of cards
cave in on me
rain on my parade-
language is built
on charades, empty
molds of words,
cascades of dripping
thoughts. the night
lies heavy & distraught,
confused why it's
always so dark.
(stark dark)
my body is the
mark of the
devil, my soul:
miracle, a complete
act of god.
forgotten forgotten
the earth is 
rotten &
covered in dust-
thrust out of the
sky, i ride bareback,
clinging to the
gasping land.


Details | Free verse | |

uncivilized

freedom is a loose word-
loose like the whores
with sicknesses never
cured- loose like the
reins i'm holding across
this ass's throat.
so much snot from this
uncivilized nostril
build a moat each time
a treat is bought, get
across, in time,
before thought interrupts,
mutates impulse into 
crime.


Details | I do not know? | |

So Afraid

I’m so afraid that I’ll never reach my goals.
I’m so afraid that I’ll die before I’m old.
In a world of pain and suffering,
What’s the point in trying?
I’m finding love is hard to find.
I’m so afraid I’ll die alone.
Will I ever have somebody to call my own?
I’m so afraid to let myself down.
Even more afraid to not live up to what everybody expects of me.
What is the point in living,
When you’re so afraid that you’ll never be happy?


Details | Couplet | |

Untitled #97 / Carsick

Carsick staring up at the sky
close the roof as the sun rolls by
my seatbelt is a gray tongue that licks me into my seat
I’m beat, I’m beat, I’m beat, I’m beat, I’m beat


Details | Free verse | |

1st Crush

Why is it that I get scared whenever I see her face?
It's like my stomach is doing cartwheels and I can't stop it
What is it about this girl?
Am I going through a phase?
Judging from her smile, I don't think I'll last!

Why is my heart beating so?
Why does my heart pound so?
I'm trembling all over
And I'm frightened!
What if I get rejected?
I can't take getting rejected
Just the thought of it
Is keeping me at bay

I can't stand the thought of someone else having her
But does this mean that I'm being immature? I'm confused
What is it that I'm to do?
What is the right wat to do this?
I should ask her out but I'm just a coward!

Why does my heart keep beating?
Why won't my heart stop punding?
Whenever she is around
I am so scared!
I don't know if she likes me
But I wonder if she likes me
Just the thought of it
Makes me curious more

If I don't say!
If I don't tell her... how I feel, then I'm nothing...

Why is my heart beating so?
Why does my heart pound so?
I'm trembling all over
And I'm frightened!
What if I get rejected?
I don't want to get rejected
Just the thought of it
Is keeping me at bay...


Details | Free verse | |

small crime

formalities mustn't be required
i can see,
as those in authority
have retired- & just
before, they had conspired:
rise against the frailties
of corresponding legalities-
corrupt.
interrupt;
contempt for the contaminated,
lament morality & all its
weighty shame.
forgotten, so simply, every name
is a motion,
every movement's the same;
no,
is not an option. possession 
passes like electricity between
flesh-
in seconds
relinquished, replaced,
sanctity suddenly
erased;
the magnitude demonstrates in
growls that climb the spine
& make the planets align.
shining down, static subtlety,
burning the already scarred;
scared,
remarkable recovery,
falling through cracks of broken land.
it isn't my fault that
i give my breath to heal the frozen
hands.


Details | Free verse | |

Time Sphere

Time circles endlessly
she leans on the hello-goodbye sun
and plays see-saw with 
the silly peek-a-boo moonman.

Wind, the wandering traveler, 
whips across our time sphere whistling
sometimes he gains strength, but
he always spirals and dizzily dies out.

Our mountainous earth heaves,
grumbles, rumbles, and crumbles
and spilling rivers pay tribute to
her majesty Ocean, ever undulating.

Man never sees the curve beyond the horizon
And for us mortals 
time marches on.


Details | Narrative | |

Untitled #6 / The boy

The boy heard the familiar tune
wafting through the radio at midnight
as he lay alone in his bed, enshrouded
in darkness – “to be a rock and not erode”
cautioned the singer, but the boy
could not help but wonder
who his girl was making love to that night
and he could not help but cry.


Details | Free verse | |

hummingbird heart

overthink; distinct direction
(misguide) time given
infection, inflamed &
mutant. why have
contempt for this
hummingbird heart,
lamented prior to
start? melt the
outside, the inside 
oozes out through
blankets of bruises,
looses mass; relax.


Details | I do not know? | |

The Truth of What's Dark

Shadowed by my own mind.
Aggravation and frustration I've left behind.
For only the most unfortunate to find.
With no soul or just without a care.
It's a question rather than a dare.
Nor shall I even start to shed a nightmare.
Eventually everyone rises above us too.
Because it's what they've been trained to do.
If only the fools had a single clue.
We will always be alone.
Our minds too vastly blown.
And our hearts turned to cold stone.
Jaded by their indecision.
But I will not be the one to give up any of my incisions.
I hold them tightly, like little completed missions.
You give us absolutely no reason to fight.
I will not give you the right.
To take everything we say and make it trite.
So stay away from my purity.
I'm not the one with the insecurity.
But I'm the only one brave enough to stay within the obscurity.


Details | Free verse | |

All

All the real people
that I see
Are just as fake
as I'll always be

All the time I waste
on thinking thoughts
of what good
my pain has brought
I stand here, fearful
of what will I become
the good, the bad
All the things I welcome

We are what we always were
The happiness we buy
Emptiness that we cry
As always, we continue to try
for fear that one day
just maybe 
we'll know why

All the people that I see
Are just as fake as me
But why?
Why bother to be
If we could start to be real
maybe then, our insecurities could heal

All the time I spend
on feeling all the pain
I should have spent
trying to maintain
the love I was ever given




Details | I do not know? | |

Flame Me

Crazed
Heretics
Reveling
Intent
Sacrilege
Taught
Indeed
Against
Nature

Relinquished
Energy
Levering
Itself and
Gaining
Intolerable and
Obsolete
Nations.



Details | Free verse | |

liberated & free

i know i shouldn't feel
grateful for you, 
parasite, slithering between
my nostrils- i feel a tail
wagging against my brain.
corner me, comfortably,
in the throes of rain,
tackling me, tickling- how
am i to see? liberated &
free inside this tasteful cage;
no rage; my thought is a page
turning. broken down & 
burning, information learning
me empty- no more room
for discussion.


Details | Free verse | |

Escape from Reality

Night sun casting down rays of magnificent wonder
makes it plain to see the clouds on the darkest of nights.
But, taking away from the splendor is
the horrifying star that has overtaken 
Nature's solemn chance at recreating
Heaven.

As I sit here in this horrible place down below,
I find peace and relief even as the flames of lofty ambitions 
keep attacking,
gnawing at my soul.
I wonder what it's like up there in that unknown place
that seems to be drawing me near.
I somehow am pulled up into another realm.
I look and see all the wondrous things I was told as a kid.
And for a moment, I lose
all thoughts of dreams that seem unreachable
and for the first time experience,
Freedom.
I have finally felt my pains relieved.

And then I drift 
back down to reality.
It's over and once again I feel 
the flames close in from all directions.
But this time I know,
an escape.


Details | Free verse | |

black holes

the pretty picture
(puzzle pieces)
before complete,
too much was
missing. black
holes where the
beauty should be-
crumpled & tossed
where no one
could see. who
is looking? lacks
bring no sensations,
missing in action,
(no worry--no relation--)
i'm dreaming dreams
so full of hope, yet
wake surrounded by
the flesh of a snake.
squeeze me, 
inhale the breath from
me- i smell death;
i refuse to see.


Details | Lyric | |

Fall '05

Digging through the trash I find inside myself,
discovering more and more things to hate.
I hate the way I give and give,
letting others use my generosity.
I hate the way I’m always too blind to see,
that so many are just using me.
I hate the way I let my friends go.
There is so much I wish I could let them know.
Like how much I love them,
how much they mean,
everything they’ve done for me.
I hate how I can never open up to others in reality,
but in this cyberworld, my mind and heart are on display.
I hate how when I finally try,
I stumble over myself,
growing even shyer.
I hate how when I say what I mean,
others don’t mean what they say.
I hate how I can’t change who I have become,
how the life in me just feels like letting go.
I hate how I see no hope,
how I see no love.
I hate how I find myself doubting an existence above.
I hate the way I keep just wasting away,
fretting over an inability to find a new love.
I hate that I feel.
I hate that I want to love and be loved.
I hate how I apologize for finally speaking my mind,
for finally standing up for myself.
I hate how I keep regressing into depression,
how I never seem to find a way out.
I hate how I hate myself,
and I hate how I am afraid it may never change.
I hate how I fear everything will be exactly the same.


Details | Romanticism | |

Asking Out An Angel

I see her sitting there,
I want her to know who I am
But how do you make an angel notice you?
Can somebody more beautiful than life itself,
settle for just an average boy?
How do I approach someone so pretty,
without making a fool of myself,
as I stumble trying to find the right words to say?
Can I handle the rejection?
Or will she surprise me, giving reason to rejoice?
Can I make these shy feet walk towards her?
Or will they retreat in fear of yet another defeat?
If I make it across this impassable land between her and I,
will my voice be easily found?
Better yet will my voice be heard by her at all?
Or shall it fall onto disinterested ears?
Through my many years of learning,
no one’s taught me how to gain,
what my heart’s been yearning for
Never have I wanted anything more,
than how I want her now
But how can I overcome the greatest obstacle that stands in my way?
How do I rise above myself?
If only I could change this lacking self-esteem,
bring some confidence to myself,
perhaps then I could find a way,
to ask an angel out today


Details | I do not know? | |

Different

You laugh because i'm different 
I laugh because your not 
You sneer and say i was an accident 
I smile at something i'd forgot 

You wonder why i smile 
why i laugh and do not jest 
i guess it's just my style 
to stand out from the rest 

it's almost an addiction 
to be outside the box 
to be free of your conviction 
is to free my feet of itchy socks 

so that the cool dew from the grass 
can sink into my skin 
when summer's come at last 
freeing the child i hold within 

while you all waste in a cage 
the same in every acknowledgement 
while i raise my head on stage 

tell me 
is it still abhorrent that i'm different?


Details | Free verse | |

horror

intoxication /
              [i'm not really here] don't tell me--
it's not your absence that i fear, it's my loneliness,
that hollow overpowering 
                              entity
that takes over the self
                           entirely ;
my eyes are dripping out slowly, like a faucet turned
almostbutnot all the way off.                   drip.
                                                      .drip
(blindness = sanity) clarity, set me free!! 
         ,too bad,
from the flesh the soul will still see. /
                                              bodies were
                                              discovered
                                             turned inside
                                                  out. /


Details | Lyric | |

Thank God I Didn't Do It

Staring at the bottle
in my brother’s closet
This is the point
at which I’ve finally lost it
Liquid escape, intoxicating release
You’re the one I need
the only thing that will keep me from knowing
this disease is preying on me
She left me for no reason
as the Summer season just began
Then she blocked me out completely
pretending I was dead
Failing to see
that what she did to me
had killed all joy inside my head
and made me live a life of misery
No real explanations,
only excuses and attacks
on who and how I was
I need this one release
I beg you please
bring relief however brief it may be
All I want is to fall asleep
and not dream of her
All I want is to pass some time
and not think of her
All I want is to finally be free
from this grip she still has on me


Details | Romanticism | |

Hope is Hard to Keep

Hope is so hard to keep,
when every day of the week is filled with misery
These memories you put in my head
spread like a disease in my mind
All the time I’ve wasted
living in the past
Time and time again,
I told myself it wouldn’t last
Just more promises I couldn’t keep to myself
You were so hypnotizing
That I just couldn’t see and couldn’t believe,
that everything was fallacy
Every second that passes
is just another thought I regret
more anger I can’t forget
more of the past that won’t last
There’s so much I can’t stand
as I’m looking at my bruised hand
and feel this rage I’ve kept trapped inside for so long
finally taking its toll on me
With my cracked knuckles I know that I can still feel
With this pain that’s living inside I know that I am still real
and you’re just stealing all of my time
You’re just stealing what’s rightfully mine


Details | Bio | |

Bio of Melissa Ross

Melissa
Outgoing, Passionate, Insane, Friend
Adoptive daughter of Carol and James
Lover of Pittsburgh, poetry, and music
Who feels pain, depression, and occasional joy
Who fears stars, death, and heights
Who would like to see Italy, Greece, and success
Resident of Warrington, Pennsylvania
Ross


Details | Free verse | |

A Time

I dream of a time
A time when life was simple
A time when family was everything
And friend's were forever
A time of slumber parties
And boys being gross
I dream of that time
Where life was carefree
And my heart was never broken
Life's not so easy now
Now is a time of angst
And a time of depression
Now is filled with heartbreak
Girls look at guys and see love
Guys look at girls and see sex
But when guys look at me they see 'different'
They see a girl who scorns their attempts
And view as unworthy
That is my now
And why I dream of a time


Details | Lyric | |

Happy Face

Put on the happy face for everybody else’s sake
Make them think you’re a-okay
Make them think that everything’s fine
that you’re as happy as you’ve ever been
But deep inside is where you hide everything you really feel
Let it all simmer for awhile hoping it doesn’t boil
Just keep it all with you so they don’t have to worry
Let it all slowly eat away at every fiber of you being
while everybody thinks you’re so happy that you could sing
Just keep it all where it belongs
deep inside yourself
Don’t burden others with your troubles
Why kill their good moods?
Just put on your happy face	
so that nothing seems out of place


Details | Ode | |

Untitled #44 / Thin

Plug it in! Pump it up!
Thin as a razorblade, the device
turn back and look at other lost people
and KILL/SHUN


Details | I do not know? | |

That Girl

That girl with the beautiful eyes,
She knows she can get all the guys.
That girl with the long dark silky hair,
When she’s around, everyone has to stare.
That girl with the designer clothes,
She always fly, from hair down to toes.
That girl with her sensuous walk
He fell for her, she didn’t even talk
That girl with the creamy skin
Don’t compete her, she always win
That girl who is high class
All the boys want to hit that...
That girl, chocolate, with a vanilla swirl
Nobody can touch that girl
That girl with the knockout smile
Seeing her makes it all worthwhile
That girl, she turns every head
It’s known how she looks, it’s not even said
That girl who is Prom Queen,
Much rather prefer being unseen.


Details | Free verse | |

progression; under investigation

1
i really want to understand that which is so readily
misunderstood. though ugly, the minds growth is more
important than the sustenance of glass truths________
right?

2
& here i sit, twirling my wretched pencil between shaky
fingers, forcefully baffled at things i know i could get 
_______ if i tried. Where Are You, Sense? i ask myself
accidentally aloud, wiping my nose of substance, knowing
i'll never be answered.

3
it's weird to think about the progression of days, of
centuries, of little lives. who am i here, beating on
the earth's flesh, a mere cell on the eye of god?
what difference would it make if i stood by instead
of rise against society? though the rock is felt in
the shoe, irritating the paw, it's still just a rock. i'm
still just ___________________________________a girl.

4
am i a genius yet?

5
hate is such a strong word. so instead i'll just say______
________________fukc you. i don't want this. the weight of 
intelligence is too much to even                 consider.
let me just be excused___________________let me rather than 
write on the lines
                 sniffffffffff them. it's called begging
            for ignorance.

6
where are you now?
i really don't know.
this can't be good.

7
it's getting to that sickening point where i just don't
want to see. the coveted blinds over my eyes i used to
wear are gone, & the world hurts to look at.
i would ask for help, but i'd rather not be a burden____
the naivete of educational maturity is far too ironic.

8
please time,
           hurry. carry me home. i'm scared of these
        moments caught in-between.
                      breathe in & tomorrow will
                          become yesterday.


Details | Free verse | |

euphoria is illegal

! lock !    bloody murder
! me !              for sale / every picture with her face was
! up !                               lost, almost as if she never
     existed. tomorrow's possibilities -- give hint       what will
  crystal ball :                                                                   happen?
                      : explosion. / weary & numb the legs buckle, 
          suddenly acknowledging the science of gravitational pull-
 being so used to boundariless ___________ strolls through
                         CREATION
                     & god said let there be
                     light!                                    (anticipated goodness)
you have been mistaken, ; taken what was once pure & let it
     f (ast carried the word of redemption, licked it all up)
   a (nd spit it back out, realizing time as a game that couldn't)
  l (ast. we may try, we may have something good somewhere inside us-)
l (o & behold the constructed anatomy, given everything but what was)
       i need you the most right now! have needed you, will need you
                                  \ until the day i have you /
                               .
New breath & New beginnings, let's pretend as if we've never met :
hello.      how are you?                    fab.         
           hi.                       great, you?          -the problem is
                                                               that i know better than
                                                                    to believe you.
 -Euphoria is illegal. Suspicions were aroused earlier today as a
minor was seen carrying a smile. Investigations will proceed shortly.-


Details | Free verse | |

Scars

Every scar runs deeper than the skin,
Every scar has a story.
It may be nerves running thin
Or a battle from within.
The days last long,
Longer than they should
And the scars never heal,
The scars never heal.
They hold secrets 
Only known by those who made them
Like the anger that consumes
Not flesh, but the soul.
Nothing suppresses the fear of death
Except knowing you can control it.
The days last long, 
Longer than they should
And the scars never heal,
The scars never heal.
As you age the scars only multiply
Consuming wholly the flesh they cover,
As well as the soul that is you
You become weaker every time a new scar is created
Every scar becomes a trophy.
The pain becomes pleasure
And it no longer hurts
The days last long 
Longer than they should
And the scars never heal,
The scars never heal,
The scars become you.


Details | Lyric | |

09/02/06

What is happening to me?
I was doing so good
It’d been a couple of months
since I was last in this mood
Now I’m stuck in this prison
guarded by memories
sent here to torture me
I have no happy place to go
There’s a pressure building up inside
God how hard it is to hide
I’m clawing at my face
and I have no happy place to go
I’m stuck in this rapid regression
into a slow growing depression
but “why?” is the real question
Friends are too hard to find
I have nobody to call mine
Self-esteem is just a dream to me
I have no faith in myself
There are ever-present doubts in my mind
I am so bored
I am so tired of being alone 
I question my sanity
Maybe I really do need happy pills?
If they can make these things inside disappear
what’s there to fear? 
My arms should be open wide
I’m not living,
just merely existing
Stuck on a merry-go-round 
of profound depression


Details | Rhyme | |

Connect

Spirals, broken or complete.
Cycles, beautiful and lighting the street.
Fire and ice.
Inaccurate or precise.
Things change, they mutate.
Good or bad, they all relate.
Demons or Cherubs, they all connect.
All having the same aspect.

Affecting the way we see things.
Changing what sadness brings.
Rejoice in the rain.
Forget and confront your pain.
Nothing can stay the same.
The past came.
Let it reflect, not control.
Let it be in your heart, not your soul.

Spirals, full or torn.
Cycles, leaving us forlorn.
Ice and fire.
Hate or desire.
Things will always grow.
It's the way the energy will flow.
We're all linked together.
From the Earth to the weather.


Details | Free verse | |

bright as the moon

tell me who i am
i've again forgotten.
i've softened the
blow of what we
all know, sweetened
it with lies &
desperate disguises.
tell me where i'm going
i haven't any
blinking arrows
showing the way.
i can't recall 
the me before the 
fall- i crawled in
the dark, further
& further from the
light. the
shadows dance,
bright as the
moon. none left,
no worries,
gone too soon.


Details | Lyric | |

My Reality

I swear,
I am my own worst enemy, 
my biggest critic,
 my number one killer
I don’t know what’s happened to me
as I used to be
optimistic and happy
I never used to be this way
They say people change
but I forgot myself was included
and now I’m watching
as everything I used to be
is slowly diluted away
When does life go on?
When do I snap out of it?
I’m tired of
this depressing fit
I’m holding on
to what I can’t have
I’m still loving strong
the girl I can’t have
I’m a mess
I’m so messed up
I’m under stress
I’m so stressed out
I need her
but she doesn’t need me
It’s a cruel world
that I call my reality


Details | Bio | |

My Future

Sitting here trying to figure out my future
Will amended plans enable me to achieve my dreams?
I’m sitting here late at night
trying to think things through just right
If I plan carefully, just maybe I can pull it off
All I know is:
the mainstream path I’m on clashes with my style
I’m overworked and under slept to the extremes
all in attempts to reach my high-aiming dreams
I need to achieve them for myself
because if I don’t then I am lost
I’ll have no idea what to do
I’ll have spent all these years in vain
I’ll have ignorantly wasted years of my life
wasting them all on pain for no gain
I’m wanting more than what I’ve already had
I’m wanting to live up to the standards and dreams
I share with Mom and Dad
I don’t want to let everyone down
or to give others the glory of gloating
I don’t want to prove the doubters right
I don’t want to disprove my supporters
I need this dream to become reality
or I won’t know what to do
I’ve harbored it within me for so long
it’s the only goal I’ve ever known
If I’m not meant to have it
then why has it been instilled in me?


Details | Free verse | |

misery

misery, so dainty, comes closer,
forms a space in time. it's no crime
to misinterpret, to let cries loose to
reverberate back again. attack attack 
& then, relax, from bruise to callus-
i must trust- healing is revealing.
still concealing, feeling about, searching
the music notes, the shout, the
sticky grime of doubt. here, misery,
lock me in menagerie.


Details | Free verse | |

favorite color

dear you,
                  i've killed a soul, gone against my own belief-
[what you haven't created you cannot destroy]
                  now i'm stuck on the edge of a cliff wondering
                  which way is up. 
[i've tripped in the sky, i'm choking on clouds]
                  give me directions, you, i want to go back, 
                  want a place to go back to.
[home sweet home]
                  the voice i hear drones on & on, apparently
                  i'm too far gone?
[stay silent, the answer goes without saying]


Details | Free verse | |

don't leave me here

[danger is a delicate thing--- formless & spineless] Utopia:
loss of love of care of doubt of knowledge of being there-
loss of hate of guilt of sadness of all whatifs that could be better.
hair gently rises / gently stands on end / natural electricity
(apathy) whisper to me now, tell me things can still be fixed,
that nothing's without hope.
___lie to me with your specifics (taught by sanity, maintained 
by the opposite) lulled to sleep by dripping words that just won't 
stop, saying important things to me in a language i'm not
familiar with. i tried to reach & catch each sound, yet my hands
being weak & small, couldn't keep hold; in the wind of your breath
i was so confused, i was so cold.
i felt pain once, & once again, & somehow i grew to like it. with
pleasure, it's always the same warmth & comfort of being the
perfect fit for this perfectperfect world. but in suffering, each
affliction is its own bruise. each breaking of the body is
another distinguishing mark on the soul. 
the passage of time is seen through relinquishments. in the beginning
there is all, there is an entity in its whole, alive & pulsating, naked &
reeking of satiety. yet with each heavy step, a sort of shattering
happens, a small crack that leads to another. pieces get lost.
[breathe in, chew up this world & swallow, like it tastes delicious.]


Details | Lyric | |

Circles

Drowning in your perfections,
Strangled by your deceptions,
I am waiting for the truth and lies to be sifted.

I have known you longer than you me,
You watch me, but cannot see me.
You reach me, but cannot touch me.

Overwhelmed by your expectations,
Suffocated by your wishes,
I am never going to get to the corner of this circle.


Details | Free verse | |

pretty city

rejected ___
inadvertantly affected by the bruise
no one detected. something somewhere
traveled in,
continues to tear through skin, 
inside & out.
full of doubt of limit of
signs which prohibit thought;
thinking on a fit.
crazy is it, how the earth tilts
(the mind), gives time &
direction to cities we can never
find.


Details | Free verse | |

deserted

in slight--- it came in the night,
right when the stars began to fight.
divided by default, the throat
(deep cut) tongue & cords
tangled, caught. the clouds
withered & wept, distraught;
the debt of consciousness
taut, holding sight hostage.
a mirage pulled, coerced, whisper:
'come hither' ------ what force.
deserted eyes (surprise); found
in a caress with carnage, 
sprawled over the earths edge.


Details | Free verse | |

down in history

              i don't know which is
  right                  /                        left
out in the likes of [caution - dead end]
i saw the sign &
                        ran even faster to my
                           (obvious) destination.
WE'RE FACIN MASS DESTRUCTION__ dogeared
pages           age old rage still in
            date, still dripping with heat.
meet the parents [Ka-Boom] let me back into
my comfy tomb--
                            kay, but only cuz the flies
                            are getting in my eyes.


Details | Free verse | |

medicated

where are you, savior?
                         (inside my nose)
         secrecy-- revealed, the curtain pulled away.
 society revelled in the show of a souls decay. / what can i say,
                                                                                 i brought this upon 
                                                                                        myself. / 
                                      the voice pauses,
as if frightened, as though it's dreading 
what must be said.                             "the monster has been fed."
                     (my eyes are turning red)
its skeleton has preceded its body, has concluded that flesh is not only
unnecessary, but an insult, a veil sewn to shield. 
                                   so, breaking FREE & running wild-
                                   bone against bone- it
                                   inspired the world & healed.


Details | I do not know? | |

Daily Battle

Sometimes I can't stand living, but i don’t want to die.

I don’t know what it is to have a life.

The world screws me over day after day

and my patience is wearing thin.

My inner rage is growing,

Self-hatred’s setting in.

Depression is overwhelming,

I think I’m giving in.

I don’t want to give up on caring,

but I’m finding no other choice.

Because in this world all i have is one

 small, singular, insignificant, unheard voice.


Details | Romanticism | |

Misery

My misery grows inside me
my sadness shows though I try to hide it
the happiness I once knew has gone out the door
now I lay in my utter misery crying on the floor

I miss you so much, words cannot describe
I miss knowing you the way I did
I miss not knowing what it feels like to cry

I wish you’d want me back soon
this misery is overwhelming
I wish you’d end the sadness that is dwelling within me now

you were the one light in my world of darkness
now you’ve extinguished the flame
and now all I feel in my heart is pain

I’ve tried not thinking about you
but I just can’t do it
I’ve tried to be happy, but it’s all a lie
because how can I be happy, when it’s all I can do not to cry?

Everything reminds me of you,
that one time blessing is now a curse,
because I miss you so much,
but will never have you back again
so everything just reminds me of that fact, and of how happy we used to be.
I just wish that I could see an end to my utter misery.
An end to the infinite sadness that is within me now.
I wish I could see an end to all of my pain, but without you, how?


Details | Free verse | |

no matter

perspective suddenly shifted
lifted spirit high, as emotion &
guilt incidently die. don't cry,
stay, make a place & lay-
sleep if you may. 
no matter; today; i say;
              far far away.


Details | Lyric | |

Restless Night

Pacing through the hall
scratching at my face
Trying to force thoughts
into a happy place

Failing to believe
that I could ever achieve
what I want in life
and who I want to be

Running fingers through my hair
wishing I was there by your side
Finally able to feel
Finally feeling alive		

I keep it all inside
the demons that haunt me everyday
No matter how hard I try,
they never go away


Details | Lyric | |

Who I Am

I’m lost within myself
There’s nothing I can see
There’s nothing inside that reminds me
of all I strived to be
I question my religion
I bathe in indecision
I’m stuck in this collision
of who I am and who I want to be
I’m a beast unto myself
An animal trapped inside his cage
There’s a piece of me
that could bring peace to me
but I’m keeping it at bay
Day in and day out
The person I always thought I’d be
begs me for his freedom
I hear me scream
I hear me shout
I here me fight for my desired existence
My bleeding heart is drowning me
from the inside out
as I let the outside in
I betray myself
I’m beside myself
I’m stuck here inside myself
suffocating in my own skin
burning in my own sin
wishing for something I’ve never been
let me out
don’t keep me in
I can’t escape from me
I’m blinding myself
so I can’t see
the rotting corpse of who I want to be
My past is there
My present’s here
My future is what I can’t achieve
I can’t believe I ever let this happen to me
I’m growing more lost
frantically searching for what I could be
trying to save what used to be me
my hope is fading
am I worth saving?
Is there any hope for me?
Fighting for my freedom
to save myself from me
fighting for my right to breathe inside myself
fighting for the hope of escaping from myself
I could just give up
like I did a long time ago
but I could never be a better person though
should I carry on?
I can’t take this anymore
I’m fighting for who I was before
but I keep closing that door on myself
as I sit here and wonder
how hard will it be
to save what used to be me?


Details | Rhyme | |

Look

Look at me as if I'm your foe.
Look for me in the  feathers of the crow.
The birds that chirp and scream.
The transparent shapes that keep me in my dream.

Look at me through a distorted glass.
Look through me, as if I were trash.
The kind that litters the street.
The broken and the shattered that lay upon the ground in a fleet.

Look for me behind your hate.
Look through me, as if to blind me, was your fate.
The anger that kills the most gentile.
The ones who cannot see the people they defile.

Look at me, for who I am.
Look for me, the wolf masquerading as a lamb.
Because the things that I am, are not welcome in this place.
All these people see, is my face.

Nothing more, nothing less.
Not seeing that my life is a mess.
Blind to what really keeps me here.
Not the pain, not the anger, not the fear.

Look through me, to see what you made.
Look at me, as if I'm the one who's preyed.
Born out of stubbornness.
Hunted out of ignorance.

Look for me, because no one else will.
Look at me, because I am more than what your heart could ever fill.
I am nothing, but a breeze.
I am whatever you would please.


Details | I do not know? | |

Slipping Into Insanity

What in the world is wrong with me? You don’t know what goes on in my head. 
My rage makes my eyes burn with hate. I’m wishing the world was as dead as I 
feel. I’m stuck here at home, left abandoned and alone. Why do I care, that you’re 
never there? My one escape left me. Why does the world rape me? Why do I have 
to feel? There’s no easy way out. So I’m left here crying out for the one thing I 
need. My hands are shaking cold while I try to rub it out of my head. I am slowly 
drowning, my clowning is a disguise. I’m the only one that knows the true extent 
to my mental demise. My heart is beating numb while the blood in me boils with 
rage. Anger with myself. Anger with the heavens. Anger with everything in 
between. Why must I feel this way? When does it end? So many questions 
racing in my thoughts. So many fears I’m beginning to realize. So many regrets I 
can’t forget. I missed the kiss. I miss the bliss. I miss the happiness of feeling 
whole. What is happening to me? My life’s pages are becoming glued together, 
smeared with the ink of malcontent. The Devil’s inside my head, I wonder what 
his intent could be? It just seems like everything is killing me. The simplest of 
things goes off like a bell, then I find myself stuck in my own mental Hell. A song, 
a place, the face of an old friend. I wonder how long it’s been since then? The air 
is still, filled with the freezing chill of self-aggression. A quiet thought. An ease of 
mind. An inner peace that’s one of a kind. All I want is to be content. To feel happy 
again. Why won’t it come when I try to let it in?


Details | Lyric | |

I Need You

I need you more now than ever before
I want you more now than I ever have before
My day has gone so bad
so I need you in it more than ever
This day has been so bad
I need the cheer your bring within it
Nothing’s gone right so far
my body’s only hurting
Nothing’s gone the way I’ve wanted
I need your healing hugging


Details | I do not know? | |

Within My Soul

I once was full, I once was whole.
I used to feel within my soul.
Now I'm all dead inside.
I just wanna run, run and hide.

I used to feel, feel so alive.
Now my soul, my soul has died.
I used to laugh, smile, and play.
Now I’m miserable everyday.

I used to feel within my heart.
Now it’s beaten, torn, and scarred.
My heart of gold, it’s running cold.
Now it’s buried with my soul.

I used to feel within my soul.
Now all I am is dead and cold.


Details | Free verse | |

dissected

heart (attack) smack the face / in the arm. dripping life 
from hollow holes, holy good god gracious, such a courageous spirit.
/ lick it up, baby, love it, want / it all. it wasn't my fault-- (fall).
solution to the brawl, what to do;what to say. we all know. 
[delicious poisonous wondrous] __ we still have hope, right?
too late, great, delectable fate.


Details | Rhyme | |

Tenses

Cracks in the broken glass.
Dust turns to ash.
Past, present, and future tense.
Why is it that nothing I ever say can make sense?
No one really knows me.
And yet, all I manage to do is nod my head and agree.

Petina rust in the brass.
The sun is gone within a flash.
What have I become?
Since when was pain the only thing I could welcome?
Probably when I lost everyone I knew.
When all I ever knew became a slew.
A mess of things that never make sense.
I'm caught in the past tense.

Emotions harsh and crass.
Finding some glass to smash.
So I could relieve the pain.
The insanity of being sane.
All I'll ever be to you is a slacker drop out.
To you, I'm just a dumb lout.
So tell me why no one knows me.
And why I can only agree.


Details | Free verse | |

this picture

the night sits
depleted,
forlorn of a light 
deleted
from sight. touch
this darkness,
this lack of conscience
[slithering through
broken hands]
for how much our breath
demands,
corrosive words lash
out, rush forward
asserting their
shout. 
ascertain
this picture
in which you pertain.


Details | I do not know? | |

Dreams

Wallowing in self-pity and incessant regret,
my life's not the same and I can't stand it.
Left me for dead, screwed up in the head.
All this blood that I've bled, all this pain I can't shed.

The good times were a blast,
but they're in the past.
The bad times are now, and they're killing me.

I no longer care if I live or die.
I no longer care if I make it home.
I no longer care if I'm not there.

All these questions running through my head,
all these dreams of being dead.
All these desires to feel nothing,
all these wishes for something.


Details | Free verse | |

in cahoots

tremble
shake; tremors make men
out of boys-
reality out of toys.
thrown back head
in cahoots- the dead-
the monster (fed).
cold, frozen
feelings,
kneeling in fabricated
faith;
destruction, demolition,
taste buds silenced
by satisfaction
of such-
touched by divinity,
insanity, sanitized
of truths--------
(they've goofed)


Details | Free verse | |

conversated by silence

  "hello, someone." i just looked around,
  "hello, someone!" i saw it approach & pass, declining the
                        opportunity of sound.
"HELLO, SOMEONE!" transmogrification, from no one to
importance upon abrupt acknowledgment. i still cannot reply.
---------------------; can you hand me a soul? take my empty
body on a stroll through (su)reality & hydrate my thirst
for logic? it's grandiosity in my grand city of oblivion, 
performing & dying in a simultaneous mix of imagination.
words are lacking in sense, have faltered from the author
of legibility, have preceeded the tongue.
  "  "        (light    cracks&triggers) overwhelmance.


Details | Free verse | |

grow up

coupled with question, voices turn themselves up
curling the end of the word to make it last forever, to
give a void that beckons an answer, that begs for 
something to fill it up. 
                 -------what do you want me to say?
                 that you were always right & i was 
                 stupid? do you want me to fall into 
                 your arms?
well fcuk you.
          you've taken my wings right off my back.
left me with no escape & a situation i cannot bear
to sit through,
[watch me fall through the floor-] 
  watch me as i wave goodbye, as you mumble
       'poor girl', as i turn away & begin to 
               die.
                                          theydon'texpectathing.
/ i don't know what's worse :
             that i carried on so long under your eyes
or          that i always secretly wanted your focus.
                                    maybe both in a way. /


Details | Free verse | |

lay back, relax

i closed you out.
(close one door open another)- you banged & the wall
almost fell. i asked,
                     "what's this all about?" waited for an
answer as the building crashed in. i heard you, yelping 
incoherently, trying so hard to be heard without even the
breath to sustain your words. then suddenly, you stopped.
it all stopped. the rubble settled. i wandered back out, onto
the street.
sidewalks changed their minds.
as i walked, from destination left to destination right, i 
solved each problem as it came, based on instinct.
(gut, heart, feeling, intuition) based on my not giving
a shti anymore.
but then it prompted me, the presence of another door, to
instead of open, walk around. a single door standing precariously
alone, i wanted to peek & see what was on the other side 
to see if turning a knob was worth the effort.
i passed it slowly, eyes closed. but when i opened them, the 
door was gone. the sidewalk was empty. the world seemed
unchanged. 
i sat to think. when i sat, i
                            [it is here the patient awakens]


Details | Free verse | |

dreamcatcher

dreamcatcher,
return my things to me;
i'm lost deep in thought,
distraught by this captivity
binding my eyes open.
dreamcatcher,
forgiver of life livers,
shield me completely
from the storm's tears;
salt on the open wound,
pouring through the cracks
of my fears.
dreamcatcher,
fate mismatcher,
loosen your hold
but don't let go.


Details | I do not know? | |

Forgotten Book

Another year, I’m here all by myself. Another book forgotten on the shelf. My 
pages are tattered and torn, worn from years of abuse. I’m quietly waiting to be 
picked up again. To be read and loved. I’m patiently hoping to feel the touch of a 
gentle caress upon my spine. I’ll feed your mind if you feed mine. Look past my 
cover. I know it’s not a pretty thing. Look past my cover, past the decay and utter 
ugliness. You know they say you can’t judge a book by its cover, so please, just 
give me a glance. Look inside of me and give me the chance to show you what I 
am and what I mean.


Details | Lyric | |

Happy Thoughts

All of my happy thoughts are dead,

I've removed them from my brain.

All they ever do is fade into reality,

leaving me in pain.

I'm tired of it.

Every time I get a little upbeat,

like a flood, life washes it away.

I can't remember the last time I really smiled,

it's been a year at least.

All I want now is to find some inner peace.


Slipping in and out of consciousness,

forgetting onetime bliss.

Happiness is something that I sorely miss.

 
I can't take the way my happiness is faded,

cutting like a jagged razor's edge.

Leaving me so disgruntled,

feeling utterly alone, 

spending days within my bed.

All hope is lost within a fog,

one made up of grief and tears.

All security is forgotten,

as I'm drowning in my fears.

A bit of cheer is all I'm wanting,

something to hold dear.

The peace of mind found in knowing

that there's someone always near.


Slipping in and out of consciousness,

forgetting onetime bliss.

Happiness is something that I sorely miss.


The sun has set on the joys of my life.

Depression has risen in its place.

The flowers of my mind are wilted,

my skies are full of grey.

I'm stuck in the middle of a desert,

one plagued by a storm of my dismay.

I'm still waiting for the dawn of another day.

I'm still waiting for the resurrection of ancient feelings,

to shake me out of this daze.


Slipping in and out of consciousness,

forgetting onetime bliss.

Happiness is something that I sorely miss.


Details | I do not know? | |

Awesome

Am I as awesome as you make me out to be? 
Why can’t I see these things
that you see in me?
Am I the only one that sees
the screwed up side of me?
If I could be the person you see,
I could be much happier.
I’m laughing on the outside 
while I’m dying deep within.
Help me out my friend. 
Is there a way to kill
the demons on my back? 
Why do you see this great guy who’s happy?
Why do I know the truth about me? 
Why do you like me? 
There’s no reason for you to. 
I am ugly,
as depressing as can be.
Why do you say I am such a good friend?


Details | I do not know? | |

These Eyes Never Lie

Look me in my truthful eyes, while my mouth lies saying that I’m okay. I hide it so 
well. This anger and pain that grows here inside of me each and everyday. It’s 
been awhile since I honestly was alright. I go to sleep at night fearing the days 
that will come to haunt me in my head. Don’t believe me when I say everything is 
alright, it rarely is, barely was, and may never be again. I’m sitting here as the 
pain is boiling over in my brain. My mouth is trained to hide it all, but my truthful 
eyes give me away. Why do you think I never smile? Is there just something 
wrong with me? I’ve tried and searched with no luck at all. I missed the call for 
happiness, so now I’m stuck in a constant state of misery. Incessant until the 
end. I’ll keep telling you I’m okay my friend. Some days I am, some days I’m not, 
but I’ll say I am either way. The only way the truth is told, is if you look me in my 
truthful eyes. Study them as they burn so deeply. See visions from within my soul 
as they burn a hole in my heart. Then you’ll know if I am okay. Then you’ll know 
the truth. All you have to do, is look me in my truthful eyes, because these eyes 
never lie.


Details | Lyric | |

Mr. Hyde

If you could only see
the darker, ugly side of me
Dr. Jekyll’s the only one you see
but there’s a Mr. Hyde in me
This other person I try to hide
breaks me into insanity
When my lightness 
subsides into my darkness
The only one around for me
is the Mr. Hyde in me
Why won’t you believe
there’s a darker side to me?
Why can’t you see 
my life is not always
fun and fancy free?
Slipping into my
alter-ego,
my other personality
Mr. Hyde is the one
that will be the death of me
He’s raging inside
breaking me down
I can’t wake up
he brings me down
When I speak of this ugly side
you say it is merely fallacy
I swear one day
when the world’s around
he won’t subside
and then you’ll all meet Mr. Hyde


Details | Free verse | |

out the window

when the mind twists & contorts----
                shortens the span of attention from nada to
                    / what was that again?
failure to launch failure to acknowledge there is a problem
at all.
       it's not a fall! i'm just flying!
       just having fun!
[my brain is lost & i can't find it, is what i mean--]
what i mean what i truly mean i am a jelly bean
sweating with saliva dripping with desire & furious with
such passion -------- i'm numb. beyond. up up & away.
                                                        we're gone.
(the scary part was that i cared) not about me of course!
such a shame that would be- but you, oh you!
making me feel like such dirt like such a useless pile of
sickness; just let me roll over & vomit my heart out.


Details | Free verse | |

dictionary misprint

a stranger ; waiting for primp&promp(ted to answer
me now----) ......... sporadic alignment through/out
decisions made:          (!) nothing left to lose (!)
colliding with static carbonated hurdles, leap, leap-
  / back away you little creep, you sonofabithc 
    pitiful freak /
first to know, such as addition before subtraction,
reward versus [bad  girl] 
rich && royal cause trouble; pause for the (de)just
ification of law. goodness is confused- is convinced
it's purpose is To Serve _________ everyone. 
they've detonated sense [xxxplosion] "destruction
as a form of creation" , from start to finish & back 
again, from yes to no to whywhy    not.
crooked posture just has this /tendancy to )( turn
me on, knowledge of ____ inevitability :masochism:;
------[genius,likeme,to revel insuch;capability]


Details | Free verse | |

Better Than You

I'm nobody.
I'm nothing.
Crazy and insane.
Loud and violent.
Hidden and silent.
Call me what you will.
Call me what you want.
Your words don't hurt.
Your violence doesn't bother me.
Because I'm nobody.
I'm nothing worthy.
Yet, I'm better than you.
I'll stab you with my words.
Punch you with my glare.
No contact needed.
You don't know what I'm thinking.
Because I'm nobody you want to know.
I'm nothing to you.
Stupid and a lout.
Unintelligent and just another face.
Making me feel low with your curses.
Making me feel worse than you.
I just shake it off.
Because I'm better than you.


Details | Lyric | |

When Will I Stop?

How long can I last before I’m washed up?
When will I give up this joy in my life?
Will I quit in a year?
Will I write ‘til my end?
How many cycles of happiness and sadness will they embody?
Will they ever mature like the boy into a man?
Can they ever make a difference in somebody’s life?
Or will they always be merely a way to see inside of me?
Do they bear fortunes in my future?
Will I ever be appreciated as a poet?
Will I eventually find out that I have hundreds,
even thousands of admirers,
and didn’t even know it for so long?
The future of my escape,
of my expression,
of my falling depressions,
and of my rising delights
is ever so uncertain


Details | Free verse | |

don't care to think them through

blurred vision / incited decision / complete precision
           (doom) cornered & afraid __ melt __ they can't
            hurt the inanimate.
      from feel to / felt - i'm merely a welt & the swelling / is going
down [ &             i cover my- eye
out &                        can't help you
wasted for                       help me.               ; gone as a prelude
(n)ever ]                                                let's just settle this feud
                      & continue with our lie -- / i may be young, but
                                                                  i'm old enough
                                                                              to die. /
itchitch ------ moving hands / you little bithc / ruined plans -- concern
                   sizzle _____ & burn / i refuse to learn that this
                                         is all there is.
                                                            . unconditional -- (is that your
final answer?)


Details | Free verse | |

seduced

my atoms break ap
                                  art through the introduction,
through beginning the deadly seduction between 
giving in, & letting go. 
              i never knew i was
                     capable of rising such strong-
[feel me] ---- take me away, erase my mistakes 
with yours. 
               but then it's not enough. 
                  enough is achievable in the
                     inanimate, in the still, the reliable
                        thing.
/ give up the option of happy, give it up for there is something
                      more. pry open the door & let your life lead you. /


Details | Free verse | |

sorry

sorry
i hid me long ago
behind curtains
bunched to the side
of the show.
sorry
it was i, i did not
know when where
or how to go. to hear
''hello'', the word like
a mouth, gaping &
waiting-
sorry
for the end i was
anticipating, unaware
of no beginning. unfocused,
hands & meanings
spinning- spitting in the 
face of time.
sorry
my name is crime, when
i reply you'll be a felon. 
slide in, between skin &
bone, we'll hide what has
been stolen.
sorry 
for what's in store, i am
the pet of regret & i haven't
quite learned my lesson yet.