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Teen Funny Poems | Funny Poems About Teen

These Teen Funny poems are examples of Funny poems about Teen. These are the best examples of Teen Funny poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

Details | Narrative | |

Granny Panty Annie, the Tranny

Lemme tell ya' about a
*ding-bat skit-zo 
bee-hotch* tranny
named Annie...

I met her one night 
under disco lights 
up at Candies

She was 
starin' at me
grittin' her teeth
aimin' ta' see 
if I wanted a piece
of he 
OR
of she 
by way of flashin' granny panties

She was
shootin' pool
actin' a fool
so I 
took a shot
and one tiny glance 
but got caught

So I
lit up a smoke
and tried to play it off cool
but it was too late
she had pulled up a stool

She slurred,
"Hey young felluh, where ya' been all my life!"

I replied, 
"Sorry to burst yir' bubble, but I got a wife!"

"That don't matter kid, what she don't know won't hurt the girl" 
as she fisted my collar and yelled, "I'LL ROCK YIR' WORLD! Annie the Tranny is what they call me. Bet you been wanted ta' bone me since you first saw me!"

Fear and frustration danced on my face
I begged the bouncer to 
"Get this he/she outta the place!"

My pleas were to no avail, 
and that sea donkey lurked hot on my trail
flailin' it's arms and grindin' bar stools with it's tail

Speakin' of tails...
a shiny blue wale tail crept up her back
Her jeans were mean, but couldn't hold her underwear's elastic slack
but at least it beat feastin' eyes upon her crack
then she... 
wrapped her grimy hands around my neck and asked, 
"You n' me, boy, what the heck!?!"

I screamed,
"Look here lady, you seem real nice for a tranny;
but...
ya' see...
ya' need 
to hit the bricks,
you
and yir' Granny Panties!"

At that point the joint started to really heat up
people were glarin' like they really wanted me beat up
I can't recall how the hell I got out of there 
alive and free
it was like a big manly freight train
headin' dead at me

I'm pretty sure I owe the good Lord a big favor
that beast was the devil
and Jesus was my Savior!

It's a night I thought would never end... 
the night at Candies Bar n' Grill
Granny Panty Annie got a thrill 
tryin' to make me her sexy friend!!!




Details | Footle | |

having sex - footle

buck wild
rodeo style
_______________________|
PENNED ON AUGUST 14, 2014!


Details | Burlesque | |

The Elimination Method

Simple Mathematics, really.
To eliminate one component
To solve a problem quickly.


I’ll form the problem into a manageable state,
By easily eliminating an unwanted variable.
Now, just what variable to eliminate?


First, I will multiply the X by two.
That’s the first step. Done, I feel fine.
I will multiply the Y too.


Now, I add my X plus X.
My Y plus Y.
That was to make sure it checks.


Now here’s the predicament (easy my shoe!)
This is my problem,
And a real head-scratcher too!


The equation adds up nicely
And the X and Y are simplified.
But, how do I eliminate my algebra homework
Precisely? 


Details | Sonnet | |

A Brutally Honest Valentine's

My darling enigma, my dove   
You’re the epitome of my love
Your smile shines at me pearly white      
Pale skin shines and glints in the light       
Silken locks, obsidian flow
Eyes just like ice, crystalline glow        
Peals of laughter ring like a bell            
Enchant me; I’m under your spell    
You walk with a musical flow
Tiptoeing with softness through snow

But, alas, you open your mouth
Utter tripe spilling out
If only you’d keep your mouth shut.

(Love from Anonymous) 


Details | Verse | |

Enigma's Calling

Extraordinary, I am 
Craving for unusual thoughts
Endless exploration without boundary
Understanding  the gift I shouldn't fought
 
Invisible drawings in my mind
Playing with the words in my head
My passion
The food of my soul
 
I feel so lucky
The random thoughts
A lifetime companion
A self esteem builder
A goal planner
Be my forever life saver
 
I write more
I talk less
I want to please
I chose to bore
 
What tickles me the most
Is to know what I'm for
Thinking is my love
When  my mind goes empty
That's when I hate
 
My day dreaming lust
Organizing things in my mind
Playing roles of simulation
Where images of art is my vision
And words of attitude is my heart


Details | Rhyme | |

Cinderella Bites Back

Cinderella Bites Back
Joanna Davis


Once upon a story; in a fairy tail
lived a shy and lonely girl
who's friends were Mop and Pail 
She was really quite a clever girl,
but suffered hate and spite
until an invitation came 
and she wished with all her might

‘if only I could go to the ball’
she cried when no one was around
then out of a tiny hole 
she heard  the faintest sound
'Of course you can go to the ball
What makes you think you can't?'
'Just because that witch said no
doesn’t mean you shan’t!' 

'But my dress is in rags
My feet dirty and bare 
There's nothing in my closet
that I could really wear' 
‘Don't worry’ said the little mouse
for I know just the thing
By the time I've finished
you’ll have a wedding ring 

'Oh no’ said Cinderella 
that's not what I had in mind
I was rather hoping for a career;
a chance to serve mankind
The mouse thought for a moment 
sized up her situation
'It’s not a wardrobe you need
but an education'! 

So  when you read this story
or listen to this tale
about a sad and lonely girl
with a mop and pail 
Remember that the dream you wish
or star you hope to find
has always been there with you,
tucked safely in your mind!


Details | I do not know? | |

The only one

                                                        The only one

My heart hopped,
Or I should say ‘stopped’,
I was shocked,
Because with me, he talked!

It’s me, the only one,
Whom he chose,
I’m the luckiest one on the earth,
It is like he has given me a red rose!

I was surprised, he’s so cute!
I stared at him, my voice mute,
It was like I was on cloud nine,
As if we were going to dine!

I was fully filled with glee,
The other girls did envy me,
He’s the handsomest, of all men,
And I said, “Yes, you can take my pen.”


Details | I do not know? | |

You

Just a few more sips
And I'm loving the taste of you on my lips

I like the way you move in my mouth
And when you start to head down south

You are the one I love in deed 
Because Coca-Cola you're all I need.


Details | I do not know? | |

A Poem In Class

This is a poem in class
3rd period to be exact
Lotion smelling all good
Because it’s seaweed extract
Looking good
With my red K- Swiss
Other girls envy
‘cus they wish they could taste this.
And lace this
Ladies just face it
Me myself is too complex
And y’all are too basic
I’m confident in my looks
That’s me being honest
Some say I am handsome
I say “No” to be modest
6 foot and 1 inch tall
Most haters want to test me
Blatant and/or indirectly
It makes me feel good when their girls say I’m sexy
But check me
Outside of my school
I’m a fresh young man
Even in my uniform I look cool
I am so self-confident
I am not conceited
I will remain the same 
Even when my looks are depleted
Besides all the crime and drama
I love this world.
‘Cus behind every guy like myself
Is a sexy ass girl
I know a dollar worth of dimes
But only one of them is mine
And when ol’ girl step on the scene
The whole scene shine
She hot like fire 
She makes other niggaz melt
‘Cus them niggaz wish they
Could feel what I felt
As my heart moves
To the beat of her drums
Her hotness gives me heartburn
Now I am taking Tums
Not the original
But extra pain relief
She has the mythical booty…I mean beauty
The goes beyond belief
I got a queen in the making
Sizzling like bacon
Every other couple compared to us
Is just faking and waiting
Waiting for their time to shine
And the chance to recover what’s mine
They are mad because 
Their status in society has declined
It’s plain to see
They want to be where I be at
They will never be like us
But why can’t they see that?


Details | Free verse | |

Bladder Problems in Class

Numbers on 
White board…names written hori-
zontally

Students ask
To go pee…right when class starts – 
THAT’S just wrong…

Bathroom line
Of students who have bladder
Problems – WOW!

People are
Not using lunchtime to do 
Their business 

No one knows
When to do their duties – SER-
IOUSLY?


Details | Burlesque | |

Redneck FATHER'S DAY------

***NOTE~TO BE READ WITH A RIDICULOUS "SILKY SOUTHERN DRAWL" (have fun:)***



"Storm over yet...?"

"Well hay'ell ye'ah! 
 woo-hoo!
 sum'body git me a da'gumm cole beer.
 whadda'bou  that boy th'er?
 sum'body git him'a cole beer too!"

"Diddy! that boy ain't nothin' but 8 years old!"

"Wha'choo sayin? 
 wha'th'a?
 na'I don't give a jolly'durn, if he ain't nuttin but 8 year'owed!
 shoot! 
 'dat boy dun' sat him thr'ew a big ol', storm! 
 torna'durr warnin' too!
 he gonna have him'a cole burr;  
 on me!"
 my treat!
 mama, git him'a cole burr! 
 ro'tt now; 
 ya'here?
 besides...
 ta'days father's day!" 



© 2011  ~JSLambert Esquire

   










Details | Free verse | |

My Boredom Disease

Like sick allergies, 
Boredom can be passed around
I call it: THE BOREDOM DISEASE

Like a horrid storm,
Boredom can catch you off guard
Hold on for DEAR LIFE!

Like the whooping cough,
Boredom can be serious
If I were you, I’d
Get a vaccination ! 


Details | Rhyme | |

A witches halloween

As the slaving sun sets on a tiring day, 
the moon arrives and shines the clouded darkness away, 
little brats--i mean kids--run out to the streets, 
yelling and screaming as they run amok through the town, 
smiles on their faces; only when their delicious 
sweets are taken away, do they frown, 
doorbell to doorbell they go, 
tossing candy around to and fro, 
the hour draws near the time of the wicked witch,
Okay children, run along home, out of the darkness, 
out of every cemetery, out of every ditch, 
no one wants to be the victim of the evil, and wicked witch. 
on this All Hallows Eve, 
she calls from her grave, 
wanting to live forever, and find her immortal mister, 
but she fails every time, 
because she can't ever get rid of her annoying, 
blond-haired, dimwitted sister.


Details | Rhyme | |

The Last Day of School

Tis a lovely day for students are glad 
The last day of the school year is anything but sad
No more assignments to study nor papers to write
Students can deal with William Shakespeare at next year’s fight
Textbooks have been returned and stored away
Lockers are cleaned out with nothing to stay
The students rejoice with the last bell’s ringing
But the teachers are doing a happy dance 
And tis they who are doing all the singing!!


Details | Free verse | |

Ridiculous Me

Watch this scene with both eyes and try not to blink C: --> 

I stood there... silently
Like a predator near prey 
I sneak behind YOU

You weren't even aware of it!! Ha-ha! 

I made YOU jump hIgH
Like a startled hare
I chuckle and smile

You know that mischievous smile of mine? 

Your reaction was
PRICELESS - you were so upset
But YOU forgave me

Well...I'm flattered. . . 

We laugh'd together (just like the good times)
In a chorus - our volume
Picked up extreme sound

Believe me - I could hear our laughter from a mile away!

But I'm glad I did
My best to make you giggle

Ridiculous me... 
Wouldn't you agree?


Details | Rhyme | |

Walk Of Shame

Walk Of Shame

Did you see that girl walk by?
I can tell, she got a guy
It's 9am, her hair's a mess
Sunday morning in a party dress?

Mascara run, lipstick smeared
She thought, this hour, all coasts were cleared
Oh but no, her I did see
And as she stumbled, she saw me

High heels on, cell in hand
Back to the dorms, she walked on Grand
Walk of shame, oh how you expose
The true nature of the hoes

Guys wake up to chill on their lawn
As freshmen girls grudgingly pursue on
Calling out, "Well how was your night!?"
Girls wish their walk was out of sight

I just laugh and point them out
More so notifying all via shout
"Walk of Shame, that is you!"
These young girls, they've got no clue

The ones who get it, then take off
Again next weekend, it's never enough
Get any guy, hooking up's their game,
But each time regretting the walk of shame.

You might think I judge too hard
Not giving them the innocent card
I shouldn't talk, I'm such a hypocrite
That was me yesterday morning, I will admit.


Details | Rhyme | |

Wake N' Bake

waking up and 
baking up 
before 
we hit the sun
 
in a hurry 
don't you worry
just come along
and have some fun

stop all that lookin'
at what we're cookin'
like we're crooked dudes
with guns

MANnnnn!!!
themz' brownies 
not Maui WoW-Wee
chill out
our THC days iz' done.


Details | Rhyme | |

I Think My Brother's A Werewolf

I think my brother’s a werewolf!

It’s hard to believe but so true!

At dusk he is like a great beast!

He’s hairy and scary; bearded too!


He’s never around in the daytime.

He sneaks out with a creepy girl.

I have a feeling that someday,

she’ll eat his gross flesh... and then hurl!


I see red bumps on his forehead

that count the days ‘till a full moon.

I sure hope he’s not contagious!

Or I’ll be a werewolf quite soon!


Scratching his head doing homework!

Wetting his bed while he’s asleep!

These are just a few of the signs

proving that he’s a monstrous creep!


I went to my mother and told her

about my brother superbly.

Then she giggled and simply said,

“Dear, he’s going through puberty!”


Details | Prose Poetry | |

CHANGED MY Underwear,------- and My Name

I
change my name 
like 
underwear...
fairly often, I suppose

I 
change my clothes 
like 
area codes
and Imma' damn gypsy, ya' see

I 
keep it fresh ta' death
nada
speck of blood
or 
ketchup on my attire

I 
got more rhymes 
than I got grey hairs
and 
that's an effing lot
because i got my share

I 
digg a 
hot-fire piece of passionate verse
those are 
indeed 
rare to find

YET...
if  only poets would 
unleash the fury 
instead of 
holding back
what's really 
on their mind...

I must say...
the library, 
the internet, 
the etc. etc...
would be a less stinky place...
AND, maybe 
I'd keep my name, and sever ties with 
underwear's elastic,
and just go 
APE-Spit Spastic!~


Details | Carpe Diem | |

Pricked

Your  love pricks me like a rose each thorn grows but no one knows Your so full of 
it as it shows so carry on now go on, go. I'm fed up with the phony and  i'm 
through with the tears, you couldn't pay me all your money to make up for those 
years. Someone help me I feel faint how could I think he was such a saint and 
worst of all I let me fall into a spiral down below. A magic called love carried 
by the dove of someone I use to know.


Details | Light Poetry | |

Kamikazee Kid---extended version of Kid's Nowadays including Bonus Footage

Lemme tell ya'
about a kid 
whose mind is so far down the gutter
he was seen scheming on another kid's mother
being obscene
at the scene he
whistled and muttered  
"Nice Udders!"

I'm telling you
little dude is smooth
with more game than Milton Bradley
at nine years old
he already got hold of 
College Girls Behaving Badly...

if you think that's bad
lemme tell ya' how mean he's been
at the age of ten
he trashed the pad of his new step dad
and spray painted the place
"Jimmy's Sin Bin"

the world's not yet seen 
a preteen kid this mean
truthfully
the greedy demon's already 
a steady petty larcenist
and a slick car thief
klepto-fiend 

if you see him coming
you better start running
if he catches up to you
you're through
not much you can do
his sins are many
though his years are few

word on the street 
is the kid's straight crazy
he picked a fight with
the Duke's of Hazard 
and made out
with Daisy

Courtney Love hates
the little devil
said he's
he's a bad MoFo
that shoots more dope
than Kurt Cobain Yo!

this kid's lost his lid
and we're running out of time
an A-Bomb microcosm
of bad parents 
who should be embarrassed for
making the world inherit
their seeds of carelessness 
heir apparent to
Kamikaze  lives of crime



Details | Epigram | |

Stuck On You

braces interlocked - told him no kissing


Details | Rhyme | |

TWO BABY DINOSAURS LEARNING TO FIGHT

Come out and watch two baby dinosaurs having a match...
will they hurt each other or enjoy this experience as they stutter?
How long will it take for them until they become groggy and itch?
All kids love this kind of friendly fight as they shout," Punch harder!"


Jeff and Garry creep, trying to get closer, but they push them off
with their enormous feet groaning as two vexed grizzly bears...
" Look out, Garry...they ares aiming at you! they seem hungrier than a wolf!"
But Garry in shock replied, " Compare me to an aunt being crushed by beasts!""


Garry, getting up, finally caught his breath screaming," Keep away,
just watch them fight, we're here not to cause any troubles today!"
" Fine,"  Larry said withdrawing his excitement which had built up too fast,
and as the little dinosaurs continued to improve their skills, a lightening hit.


Poor dinosaurs they didn't know what was happening, they only felt the quaking ground
and quicker they fought resembling two animated robots spinning around,
trying not fall on the grass and make a hole wider than a volcano's crater...
then they gained control and went on with their fight to be amused by the kids' laughter.


Details | Rhyme | |

Not Sofa King Cool


          A
College Dorm sleeps
Four per room
Keg party 
Loud
Too much Boom

           A
Drunk freshman sleeps
Where he falls
Coeds toss him on 
The sofa 
Instead of snooze in
the halls

            A 
Sorority girl 
Named him  
“Sofa King Tool”
Now he feels like a Fool
Not Sofa King Cool


Details | Rhyme | |

Why I Don't Like Boys

You bellow and spit before my face,
Grabbing your crotch with pride,
Yet when I roll my eyes and turn away,
My friends are mystified,

Forgive me, but these oafs I see
Just do not have a clue,
Why would I date these monkeymen
When I can see them at the zoo?

In five years' time, perhaps your brain
Will struggle to the stage
When you've matured, and can manage to
At least act half your age.