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Stress Funny Poems | Funny Poems About Stress

These Stress Funny poems are examples of Funny poems about Stress. These are the best examples of Stress Funny poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Details | ABC |

Idiots like you

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Idiots like you,
belong in a school'
Don't get upset,
I went there too,
I passed all my classes,
cuz I was smarter than you,
But hey don't you worry'
You wont be one for long'
Just pass all your classes,
Go on what you waiting for,
an invitation?
No I don't think so 
go right now.


Details | Heroic Couplets |

An Old "Happy" Couple

Cherish me as I grow old, and am surely liable to forget things. 
 I know how interesting life is and the contentment it brings.
I know you'll make excuses to try and be miserable and even try not to go.
 Now just have a good trip, even though I know your stress will just grow.

White, sandy beaches and salt tasted air, with an ocean so cold.
 Aggravation sets in as we try to put our lawn chairs down to unfold.
Breathe, my love, its as simple as remembering the latch on the side.
 Surely, all you had to do is ask, I'm tired of your old, stubborn pride.

Finally, we get our chairs situated and I'm ready to bask in the sun.
 You ask for sun block and as I search, you assume I brought none.
Its just at the bottom of the beach bag, you stubborn old ass!
 And don't think I don't see you sneaking a sip out of that flask!

I turn bronze as I used SPF 40, you chose SPF 15, and look at you.
 Red as a lobster, mean as crab, and I'm enjoying the view.
I tried to tell you, but so stubborn, do you ever plan to listen?
 Probably not now, nor never, so your skin will always be red and glisten.

How are you supposed to relax now that you can't move not even a limb?
 Our stress free vacation, is as always, starting to look grim.
Oh well, aloe you up, and off to dinner we shall go and have some fun.
 Take some Soma, Lortab, and Xanax and you'll be good and numb.

An hour later and you're stress free, and mostly out of that pain.
 Good thing, because its in the forecast for Florida rain!
We'll hobble around the block and get soaking wet from head to toe.
 Knowing tomorrow you'll be back in pain and stressed so we'll have to go.

But its like this every year, we plan to stay, but I know how you are.
 One or two days of driving makes you stiff from sitting in the car.
It'll take the rest of our vacation for you to blister and finally peel.
 You're the entertainment in my life, and that's why I'm with you still!


Details | Free verse |

Bladder Problems in Class

Numbers on 
White board…names written hori-
zontally

Students ask
To go pee…right when class starts – 
THAT’S just wrong…

Bathroom line
Of students who have bladder
Problems – WOW!

People are
Not using lunchtime to do 
Their business 

No one knows
When to do their duties – SER-
IOUSLY?


Details | Free verse |

My Boredom Disease

Like sick allergies, 
Boredom can be passed around
I call it: THE BOREDOM DISEASE

Like a horrid storm,
Boredom can catch you off guard
Hold on for DEAR LIFE!

Like the whooping cough,
Boredom can be serious
If I were you, I’d
Get a vaccination ! 


Details | Free verse |

Conspiracy: Who Killed The Easter Bunny

A crowded table, all suspended in shock 
The sound of the shot dimming to a ‘knock’
Only silence, except for the marching clock
The weapon still smoking; an anonymous glock
WHO KILLED THE EASTER BUNNY?

Loud cries arise from the elongated table,
Jack Frost is shocked, the Tooth Fairy unable
To speak whilst Santa is checking the stable
For clues on the erstwhile maidservant Mable
WHO KILLED THE EASTER BUNNY?

They searched for hours, called in C.S.I,
Panic set in, would the children all cry?
Sandman confirmed the bunny had died
Batman suspected somebody had lied
WHO KILLED THE EASTER BUNNY?

Guests were quizzed, interrogations began
The mystery unfolded when Santa Claus ran,
Grabbing the pies, he tried escaping in a van
But was stopped in his tracks by superman
SANTA KILLED THE EASTER BUNNY!


Details | Ballad |

Pan and Satan

Pan and Satan.

One morning I was walking in my garden
When old Jupiter came up close to me.
And standing by his side stood fair Demeter
Who smiled at me so warm and tenderly.
She said “my son we’ve come to give our blessings
And we’ve a story we would like to tell.
Of how the great God Pan turned into Satan
And child I hope that you will listen well.

For Pan he was the god of natures beauty
And he wore no taint till Satan came along.
He’d play his pipes so gaily in the meadows
Though sometimes there was mischief in his song.

Then Satan said to pan “well I don’t give a damn
I’m going to steal your horns and make you me.
Then I’ll build a master plan and strike some fear in man
So always he will live in misery.
And that’s the way old Pan became young Satan
Yet still the old one dances deep within.
But if the two had never joined together
Then where would dwell the ugliness of sin.

1990


Details | Light Poetry |

Do Not Interrupt

There are times, doing something, you think is good, can simply back fire, on you.
And I took Dragon to watch a movie of The Grand Canyon, yes, flying thru.
Just to be safe, we sat in the back, you know, way up, in the nosebleed, high!
And it became such a thrilling ride, such scenery, constantly passing you by.

You could almost reach out to touch the views, mouth watering photographic art.
But Dragon started to tap his feet, as his hands flew up, to cover his beating heart.
I’ve never seen him, so excited, over anything, EVER, in all, of his life, so bold.
Now I began to worry, as I noticed his wings began to twitch and want to unfold.

I gently put my hand over his, as I gently tried to calm him, with words, to interrupt..
He wouldn’t turn away from the screen, as ‘Do Not Interrupt!’ Did soundly erupt.
I recognized that comment, I’d used it a time or two, on him, now on myself, recast.
Now, here came my comeuppance, I did realize, for I was getting nowhere, fast!

Next, I rubbed his back shoulder muscles gently, to soothe the twitching, that arose.
You know, the ones that allow him the power, to take off and fly, yea, you got it, those!
Now this was not going to end well, from my point of view, as he shrugged off my touch.
At least, a beautiful sunset began slowly falling, near the end of the movie, as such.

By this time, I was, totally, trying to shake him out of his mesmerizingly total trance.
All we had to do, was last a few more minutes, but now he was beginning, to prance!
He was SO impassioned that he wouldn’t let me interrupt. I began to panic, oh, so well.
For the life of me! I couldn’t see any way, to break the movies, very, rapturous spell.

All I could begin to see; was that this was not going to end so very well, gently put!
So I begged him, to not try, to do… what he wanted to do! As I stomped on his foot!
In the end, all I did was piss him off, as the soared off, so impassionedly, into the view!
Well darn! That hadn’t worked out well! I sighed! As I watched the inevitable, come to!

Naturally I was there for him, when he hit the IMAX screen. With a sudden Kersplat!
After all, what are families for, but to be there, when we do stupid things, like that!
And we all do, something, so strange and crazy… in our illustrious lives, somewhere.
Naturally we were banned from the IMAX! And the screen would need extensive repair.

A vet came for Dragon, as newspapermen with questions, did show up, Oh Drat! 
As I talked to the vet!  What did I say, to them? Ha! You guessed it! ’Don’t interrupt!’
Needless to say they weren’t happy and the 5 o’clock news was my wall. Kersplat!


Details | Alliteration |

Salvation for a Stranger

The streets are busy with silence,
And Sammy is in his own little world,
Focused on his own private route.
His own secret place,
Private, it’s a funny word,
A funny word just like, secret,
Sometimes we fail to realize how we carelessly carry our secrets on our sleeve.
Sammy wants his feelings, emotions, his life to be hidden away,
Still, in the silence of the streets, 
I see the sadness and stress all over his stance.

The shops are packed with stillness,
And Sammy is doing his job, keeping stands tidy, 
Keeping customers happy,
Making his manager proud,
Happy, it’s a strange word,
A strange word just like proud,
Feelings for ourselves that we sacrifice for the satisfaction of strangers.
Sammy thrives on the temporary moods of others to determine his contentment,
Yet, in the stillness of the shops and the silence of the streets, 
I see the sadness and the stress all over his stance, 
In each fragment of his face.

Between the shops and the streets, 
Sammy finds a place that he can refer to as home,
But in the silence and the stillness of his slow beating heart,
He understands that something greater than his being is missing.
And Sammy needs a friend, a friend to show him the truth.
A friend to show him that in the stillness of the shops and the silence of the streets, 
He carries sadness and stress all over his stance, 
In each fragment of his face, and in each shy shift of each shoulder,
For one reason, and one reason alone. 
He’s missing one more word oozing sibilance, 
The one word that completes, this poem and will fulfill his life.

Salvation.


Details | Haiku |

ZOOKEEPER

Lookin' after pests
Keepin' a CLOSE eye on 'em
"Those wild animals!"

Roamin' around zoo
Searchin' for sneaky monkey
Hidin' in a tree

Zookeeper gets mad
"Where's Marty, the smartypants!?"
"He TOOK my cage keys!"


Details | Haiku |

Haikus About God: V

Omniscient guy
Yet he lets bad things happen
How can he exist?


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