I was inattentive in Science class one day
When the teacher at random looked my way
I didn't look up, I wouldn't dare
There's no escaping that intense glare.
Asked me to explain to the class
Newton's Law of Gravity and mass
My mind was a blank, heartbeats louder
For an answer I started to flounder.
I stood before the class trembling with fear
"Gravity" I said...and then oh dear!!!
I fell off the stage on to the floor
How the class with laughter did roar.
The children tittered in great amusement
They didn't know my sad predicament
The teacher said, "You've demonstrated gravity"
"Although you did it with much levity".
At length I returned to my seat
With many applause did they greet
Now I look back upon this and ponder
I decide to listen and not let my mind wander.
This is one laymans' confession
(I have this nagging obsession)
A huge mass of matter
Explodes in a scatter
Here is my 'ignorant' question...
From whence came this gigantic ball?
Just how did the whole thing befall?
What was there before that?
And before even that?
And so on and so forth, et.al...
Blank space, only vacuum you say?
Endless void? Flat nothing? Okay...
Is nothing just nothing,
Or ain't nothing something
And what made the nothing I pray?
There was a Starship Enterprise,
It was the ruler of the skies,
But you don't really care for sci-fi, do you?
With Captain Kirk
And Mr Spock
And don’t forget the trademark jock,
And there upon the bridge you’ll find Uhura
Oh Uhura, Oh Uhura
Oh Uhura, Oh Uhura
You’ll find Bones Macoy down in sickbay,
“I’m a doctor Jim” he’d say,
And cure whatever space bug ran through you,
He’ll banish away every cough,
Even if your name’s Chekov,
Or perhaps you might be sweet Uhura
Oh Uhura, Oh Uhura
Oh Uhura, Oh Uhura
To make the starship up and go,
The man you really need to know,
Is the Helm officer called Sulu,
But if it’s a message you’d like to send,
Then of course you can depend,
Upon the talented Miss Uhura,
Oh Uhura, Oh Uhura
Oh Uhura, Oh Uhura
Your voyage lasted three short years
But despite the trekkie’s fears,
It wouldn’t be the last time that we’d view you,
Of feature films there’d be twelve,
Before the franchise they would shelve,
But we won’t forget you dear Uhura
Oh Uhura, Oh Uhura
Oh Uhura, Oh Uhura
Oh Uhura, Oh Uhura
Oh Uhura, Oh Uhura
Run, jump, scream, duck, dodge and leap
Try to stay on your running feet
Honey in the hive
The bees are alive
Run, jump, scream, don't fall and leap!
is a spoon
that you can bend
with your mind.
It depends on psi
X or Y
a paranormal opportunity
or a wild talent
of psionic penmanship .
Stare at the pattern
on the handle
as you imagine
either roses or unicorns
are emblazon here.
So much the better
as your mind
bends the words
and the metal obeys...
Spoon begins to tremble
there is no knife
to run away with.
like an empty plate.
a bent spoon
with squeezed letters...
Athletes of intellect ponder difficult questions
Cortex’s quiver to cerebral suggestions
A genius theorises with a deepening frown
Well, how come my toast always lands face down?
Quantum conundrums confoundingly dreary
Cynical scientists dismiss a new theory
A mastermind clutches his head in distress
Well, if a crab has no shell, is it naked or homeless?
Wisdom, the child of mental ability
Science, the offspring of cranial agility
Empirical evidence so hard to collate
Well, why does sour cream have an expiry date?
In England’s pleasant pastures amid the free wild flowers
Lie pagan ways the wise ones do not mock
And one adept at harnessing these ancient rural powers
Was Oggwool Fleece, the black sheep of the flock
Oggwool was old, much older than the old oak it was said
Beneath whose boughs the dark sheep’s plans are sealed
‘Twas said the sheep had come back from the other side of dead
With the darkness in that corner of the field.
The farm hands better knew to venture in the oak’s strange shade
Or to the long grass that the darkness gripped
Where Oggwool lurked amid the spells and potions he had made
A sheep unshorn and magically undipped.
Not limited by four hooves in working his deft skill
Unhindered in ambitious sheepish plans
Harnessing the dark elves to do his dark sheep will
Dexterously with little dark elf hands.
From that darkened corner of that English country field
His influence extends itself outside
His arcane woolly web through which his mystic powers wield
Reaching parts and persons spread worldwide
He has extensive vineyards in Italy and Spain,
He has mining operations in Peru
He owns a flock of ostriches down in the Ukraine
(Although he never quite intended to)
He’s engineering world events on scales beyond the ken
He has his hooves in business of all kinds
He interferes remorselessly in world affairs of men
With night-time thoughts drip-fed to human minds
Little green men fly through space in saucers flat and round
On interstellar missions without cease
But on their furthest journey yet, their enterprise is bound
To the ever growing plans of Oggwool Fleece
The politicians spin their words and armies shoulder arms
And yet do not beyond their small acts see
But Oggwool Fleece with thistle skills and other sheepwise charms
Is planning how to rule a galaxy!
As I opened my eyes, I saw the sun shinging bright
I opened the silk curtains and I stood in the light
I reached outside and grabbed a cloud, then rode it to the sky
I took the waterfall back down, then I began to fly
On eagle's wings, I traveled light, like feathers in the wind
I fell into a chocolate lake, and swam with chocoalate dolphins
The crystal chore was made of snow as I approached the bank
Twas the city of Atlantis, which I thought the ocean drank
I crossed the tattered bridge of gold, onto the other side
As a cricket then approached, "Let your conscience be your guide."
Somehow I knew just where to go, my eyes led me the way
Onto a giant golden ship, with sails as bright as day
We slid across the city, as it was made from ice
I layed back in my swinging hammock, thinking,"this is nice."
Just then a fairy flew to me, announced, "Now all ashore."
So I got up and walked around, and through the golden door
I floated down the diamond ramp, onto the leafy stairs
Then climbed the treehouse branches, along with the three bears
I ate some pourage then said goodbye, and rode a star back to the sky
I tell you friend this is no lie, it happened just this very night
And if you don't believe it's true, imagination is my gift to you
the saucers I've waited for...
It's hard to believe...
we've waited so long!
with a sense of wonder,
and a sense of joy...
at their arrival....
oh boy!...oh boy!...
yes, this seems to be
a red-letter day..
I'm left with only...
one more thing to say...
when, just when,
will we wait,
till kittens turn to pups,?
do you think I might expect...
to get the matching cups!...
* Weird Science *
With pens he walks
Pocket Protectors to protect his chest
Taped up glasses on his face
Pull his pants down, call him a GEEK a NERD
Science -relativity theory and it's light speed from space
Experiment this- discover that, is how scientist rant
Brainy cats have so many open portals in their minds
You talk down to us as if we carry the brains of a bird
Do you really think we are all blind,
for not caring over the objectives principles of the Heisenberg?
You passed each and ever single science fairs in class
Feeding your ego collecting dots
After school you earned the right when a bully kicked your a$$!
A DORK calling your self the Math Magician King
Burning and crashing our minds explaining the physics of dying fast
Using your Quantum Leap that our universe comes with a destiny string
No desire to be wired who needs your further scientific understanding
Life comes with a pattern in which we once lived electricity free
Ironically your scientific process of defining itself continues to expand
Supported by the measurements and masses only you NERDS understand
The power points of our so called energy,
is pointless to me like our so called gravity.
The tale you spin is not of love but a twisted one of insanity
God is the only scientific knowledge I want to perceive!
All you so called scientist, riding the lightning like Benjamin F.
Take the bolt and tie it like a noose around your neck
Following your own perception while you feed off the sheep
Here you come to emerge to discipline us with your mind of a genius
You come and you bash us with NERD brain waves to explain!
That this world revolves around the elements and laws of scientific claims
Research this- research that- who gives a cr@p we still die at the end
While life continues, to grow and manipulate our fate, about the universe
Unsolved facts about Einstein, who left his velocity of change for us to comprehend.
Instead of trying to rule the world, explain the facts why things keep getting worse?
Over exaggerating the excitement of an Ancient Mayan 2012 discovery curse.
Bottom line you scientific quacks,
the real Celestial body is found on the bottom of my crack.
By; P.D. ( LOL, I love Science )
Changed climate is not a surprise
With drilling for gas on the rise
Where can life forms hide
From carbon dioxide
And methane let loose in the skies?
Neo-druids auger gas wells
And add fluids with sulfurous smells!
Are poisons they've tapped
With their magic wands trapped
Evermore by sorcerous spells?
Votes and news seem not relevant
The unrelenting elephant
In all our best rooms
Is fossil fuel's fumes
And toxins we can't circumvent
Green bark a prism creates,
Feel the pull of earth, you must.
Rotates, a slime of endless hates,
Can hold me not, this world’s crust.
Friendship’s ties, isolation Deflates,
Succumbs, my spaceship, to bitter rust.
Mist, my soul forever permeates,
Lift-off, booms the rocket’s thrust.
My spirit when light returns, elates,
Swamps swell, swallowed hope’s swirling dust.
Trapped, I am, until student from fate
Arrives to learn; Cloud City or bust.
In 500 million years,
All the seas will boil away.
Nothing is Forever -
Best hit the beach today!
Don’t worry now child
There's no god, so worship space
You are not alone.
One of dem Saucer land in da Bayou
Ole Boudreaux out huntin say "Jus who be you?"
Den he point him shodgun
And say "Lookee here son...
Jus found some green OKRA to seasonne my stew!"
I write Star Wars limericks with aplomb.
'Cuz Star Wars is simply the bomb!
But they don't appear
On this nice website here,
They're at Starwarslimericks dot blogspot dot com!
No special effects there, I'm sorry.
A few pictures but nothing too gory.
I start at the beginning
And I keep on spinning
Retelling the whole Star Wars story!
Dark matter makes scientists sweat
Their telescopes can't find it...yet
What's lost could be found
If they’d just turn around
And gaze at a sexy brunette
Kermit went into space one day aboard that illustrious rocket X.
Miss Piggy wasn’t far behind, so as to be there with her man.
Those W.I.E.R.D. frogs of mine, came along, hitching, for the ride.
Can you imagine what any aliens would think, finding them inside?
Of course, they were heading straight to Mars, for first contact with that face.
Then off, to sightsee near the North Pole, to check out that great worm place.
They expect to hitch a ride from there, from the aliens… to view Saturn’s rings.
Then off for a jaunt to Alpha Centauri to find that lost family of Robinson’s.
If only our great government could’ve got their act together… Perhaps…
They could’ve done the exact same thing. But Nooo, they’re impossibly set.
And of course, Miss Piggy can take the blame if public relations… become upset.
We really don’t want the first people aliens see, to be our crazy Congress, yet.
The W.I.E.R.D frogs can be most entertaining, as they croon out modern songs.
Singing in acappella, with break dancing will add a great touch, as they go along.
I’m sure, old Kermit can curtail Miss Piggy, so the aliens get a word in edgewise.
And with his endearing personality, I’m sure they’ll become great alien… allies.
William Shatner (Captain Kirk),
Best known for his acting work,
In music he would speak the song,
Resulting in a say-along.
Age 51 is often when one’s unable,
To buy the status quo, it’s old and needs mending.
New sports car, how youthful! Refuting the label,
Of premature old age, gray hair pending.
Girl friends need to be added to the stable,
Young women, their company lending,
Immortal aura when sharing their bar table.
What invokes “against aloneness”, or “befriending”?
You’ll find a word “antimonos” in Greek fable.
The element Antimony, #51, is alloy tending,
By emulating its properties, “Romeo” is enabled.
By experimenting with the valence one’s sending,
Reactions occur, some of which may be stable,
But it’s hard to tell if another is bonding or pretending,
Especially, to induce attraction, one increases spending.
Remember to study and use the Periodic Table,
It prolongs youth, the illusion of vitality never ending.
© Chaim Wilson
It started quite some time ago
His name was Pitfall Harry
I learned of bits and algorithms
On a 2600 Atari
And then there came Nintendo
It began my end I think
For I had to rescue Princess Zelda
As a courageous lad named Link
I peered at that screen for hours
Each puzzle, each riddle, each stage
And Gannon was no match for me
My frenzied button rage
The torch then passed to Genesis
And with it Altered Beast
Addicted to those graphics
My life outside had ceased
Compulsion soon would fade
I slowly began to bore
Then Sony created the gamers dream
To brilliant to ignore
Dazzled bye amazing play
lost for a year or two
Acting as an exercise scarecrow
And girl repellant too
So now I have no gaming system
But it seems that my PC
Is the summit of Geek Mountain
And that's where you'll find me.
That last line written years ago
Such games are no longer fun
For Im filled with glee and happy to be
Reaquainted with the sun
Soon the curious swelled to a mob.
as they gathered to gape at the glob.
Someone prods with a stick.
as another screams: " Quick!"
"We must run for our lives! It's the Blob!"
HOW DID THAT MAN GET INTO MY BED?
Lord Gravity ,
the king of kings
through" hands on" science
Taught me things--
apples on my head
To plopping men
Upon my bed.
Victoria Anderson-Throop 2013
The origin of the unicorn begin's in
A time and habitat where we did not live in
In Another Galaxy it could have been in
Or in an unexplored magical dimension
It was a land overflowing with milk and honey
Pure and abundant was it's skillful offspring
Enchanted with a forest that lulls you to sleep
With it's down reaching hum stemming from the trees
The little creatures were cordial and could speak
The streams of life were the preachers of the peace
The fireflies dancing a mild ballet at night
Would arouse even the most dormant soul to sing
But it was unicorns that governed the land
and so to say put everything under one's wing
A unicorn was considered the horse of the God's
It had the chiseled structure of a steeled spartan
It's horn holstered the power of a lighting rod
Sporting a mane as majestic as a mountain and
When it bucked on its hoofs the earth stood still in awe
They spent years on this planet protecting our spot
Behind the scenes in old men's wars they fought
But it was in the hidden rainbows with gold pots
Where their undisturbed and placid image was copped
Now its unfortunate we do not seem them nowadays
mainly because they did not embark on noah's ark
and all the CO-2 in the atmosphere we sprayed
means their world no longer remains and
Now their remains are just horses with no horns
and no potential to fly, so all they do is eat hay, ride and race
and when they die we just assume to make them into glue
JK! Happy Birthday!
* P.D. Unicorn Poem contest
Focused on you, a wild demons stare
With a motion it happens
A emotion flattens
As you fall beneath a demons glare
He notices most things that happen
Might even pick the clothes you wear
Believe it or not he really does care
Knows whats best and helps me get there
To perfection the performance blacken when he's scared
Things fall apart if he's not helping me be prepaired
Guidence and experience for me his mare
Sometimes I wonder what it would be like without a demon here
He loves positive reactions with greatness and flair
And how people love me after he dares
Carefully he holds me through a very small tear
Me I guess I am getting used to, just hangin round rare
A hot opportunity knocks
Buy and sell incoming space rocks
We love asteroids
But are covered by Lloyds
In case our own blocks suffer shocks
We love our silly Grazillas,
Who eat chocolate ice cream because they don't like vanilla.
They prefer lumpy pillas,
As they nap under the willas.
They eat salt by the pillas,
And watch only chinchillas.
They prefer to work as millas,
They prefer their envelopes to be manilla.
They could easily take down Godzilla,
Because them Grazillas,
Are stone cold killas.
They are a cross between a gorilla and a gator,
And they sure do enjoy their maters and taters.
They make fun of waiters,
And they are great imitaters.
They love gossiping with the gators,
And are known to be fair ice skaters.
Peculiar too is the way they only eat fish flavored Now and Laters,
And man can they drive those freighters,
And they choose to shave with cheese graters.
They are even one-third dinosaur,
And they are rotten to the core.
They love to renact the Civil War,
And to get a dollar they will pretend to be poor.
They play golf just so they can yell Fore,
And when they get a banana they all yell Score!
They are in a band and go on world tour,
But I admit they are sometimes a bore.
They are the legends of lore,
That come from the Loth Lorien shore,
And in their land they are unequivical lords.
How do they have shimmering tails,
They put water from the Amazon on every golden scale.
Their fur is silvery and pale,
And they comb it twice a day without fail.
Their favorite snack is kale,
Especially in the middle of a gale.
They love riding the rails,
Looking for the the Holy Grail.
They may look frail,
But you never can tell.
They like digging wells,And telling tall tales.
Try never to compliment the males,
Cause their egos sure do swell.So if you come across a silly Grazilla,
Lazing under a willa...
Don't forget to bow to the queen of the Grazillas.
Whose name is Drucilla,
Who lounges on golden pillas...
While she listens to thrilla...
So I bid you ado untilla...
Science is belief
in the ignorant experts
Global Warming... Ha!
Couldn't sleep and I'm reading about the Great Lakes freezing over... Comments?
Nature knows that smell forbids.
Marigolds repel aphids.
Reflex magnet finds its match
in your berry patch.