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Funny Science Poems | Funny Poems About Science

These Funny Science poems are examples of Funny poems about Science. These are the best examples of Funny Science poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Details | Personification | |

WEIRD SCIENCE

* Weird  Science *

With pens he walks
Pocket Protectors to protect his chest
Taped up glasses on his face
Pull his pants down, call him a GEEK a NERD
Science -relativity theory and it's light speed from space
Experiment this- discover that, is how scientist rant
Brainy cats have so many open portals in their minds
You talk down to us as if we carry the brains of a bird
Do you really think we are all blind, 
for not caring over the objectives  principles of the Heisenberg?

You passed  each and ever single science fairs in class
Feeding your ego collecting dots 
After school you earned the right when a bully kicked your a$$!
A DORK calling your self the Math Magician King
Burning and crashing our minds explaining the physics of dying fast 
Using your Quantum Leap that our universe comes with a destiny string

No desire to be wired who needs your further scientific understanding
Life comes with a pattern in which we once lived electricity free
Ironically your scientific process of defining itself continues to expand
Supported by the measurements and masses only you NERDS understand
The power points of our so called energy,
is pointless to me like our so called gravity.
The tale you spin is not of love but a twisted one of insanity

God is the only scientific knowledge I want to perceive!
All you so called scientist, riding the lightning like Benjamin F.  
Take the bolt and tie it like a noose around your neck
Following your own perception while you feed off the sheep
Here you come to emerge to discipline us with your mind of a genius
You come and you bash us with NERD brain waves to explain! 
That this world revolves around the elements and laws of scientific claims

Research this- research that- who gives a cr@p we still die at the end
While life continues, to grow and manipulate our fate, about the universe
Unsolved facts about Einstein, who left his velocity of change for us to comprehend.
Instead of trying to rule the world, explain the facts why things keep getting worse?
Over exaggerating the excitement of an Ancient Mayan 2012 discovery curse.
Bottom line you scientific  quacks,
the real Celestial body is found on the bottom of my crack.

By; P.D.            ( LOL, I love Science )


Details | Limerick | |

Don't Disturb The Hive

Run, jump, scream, duck, dodge and leap 
Try to stay on your running feet 
Honey in the hive 
The bees are alive 
Run, jump, scream, don't fall and leap!


Details | Rhyme | |

The shortcomings of genius

Athletes of intellect ponder difficult questions
Cortex’s quiver to cerebral suggestions
A genius theorises with a deepening frown
Well, how come my toast always lands face down?

Quantum conundrums confoundingly dreary  
Cynical scientists dismiss a new theory
A mastermind clutches his head in distress 
Well, if a crab has no shell, is it naked or homeless?

Wisdom, the child of mental ability
Science, the offspring of cranial agility
Empirical evidence so hard to collate 
Well, why does sour cream have an expiry date?



Details | Limerick | |

Voldemort, by contrast, was vanquished easily

Changed climate is not a surprise
With drilling for gas on the rise
Where can life forms hide
From carbon dioxide
And methane let loose in the skies?

Neo-druids auger gas wells
And add fluids with sulfurous smells! 
Are poisons they've tapped
With their magic wands trapped
Evermore by sorcerous spells? 

Votes and news seem not relevant
The unrelenting elephant
In all our best rooms
Is fossil fuel's fumes
And toxins we can't circumvent 




Details | Limerick | |

"War of the Worlds" by H.G. (Hebert-Gautreaux) Wells

Martian Gumbo

One of dem Saucer land in da Bayou
Ole Boudreaux out huntin say "Jus who be you?"
Den he point him shodgun
And say "Lookee here son...
Jus found some green OKRA to seasonne my stew!"


Details | Haiku | |

Aliens at Your Bedroom Window

Don’t worry now child
There's no god, so worship space
You are not alone.


Details | Limerick | |

Cosmology vs Cosmetology

Dark matter makes scientists sweat
Their telescopes can't find it...yet
What's lost could be found
If they’d just turn around
And gaze at a sexy brunette


Details | Rhyme | |

HOW DID THAT MAN GET INTO MY BED

            HOW DID THAT MAN GET INTO MY BED?
                           

                       Lord Gravity , 
                           the king of kings
                           through" hands on" science
                           Taught me things--                                                      
                           From plopping 
                                         apples on my head
                           To plopping men
                                         Upon my bed.

Victoria Anderson-Throop 2013


Details | Rhyme | |

Geek Mountain

It started quite some time ago
His name was Pitfall Harry
I learned of bits and algorithms
On a 2600 Atari

And then there came Nintendo
It began my end I think
For I had to rescue Princess Zelda
As a courageous lad named Link

I peered at that screen for hours
Each puzzle, each riddle, each stage
And Gannon was no match for me
My frenzied button rage

The torch then passed to Genesis
And with it Altered Beast
Addicted to those graphics
My life outside had ceased

Compulsion soon would fade
I slowly began to bore
Then Sony created the gamers dream
To brilliant to ignore

Dazzled bye amazing play
lost for a year or two
Acting as an exercise scarecrow
And girl repellant too

So now I have no gaming system
But it seems that my PC
Is the summit of Geek Mountain
And that's where you'll find me.
-------------------------------------------
That last line written years ago
Such games are no longer fun
For Im filled with glee and happy to be
Reaquainted with the sun


Details | Lyric | |

Sky Rockets In Flight, Unicorn's Delight

The origin of the unicorn begin's in
A time and habitat where we did not live in
In Another Galaxy it could have been in
Or in an unexplored magical dimension

It was a land overflowing with milk and honey
Pure and abundant was it's skillful offspring
Enchanted with a forest that lulls you to sleep
With it's down reaching hum stemming from the trees
The little creatures were cordial and could speak
The streams of life were the preachers of the peace
The fireflies dancing a mild ballet at night
Would arouse even the most dormant soul to sing 
But it was unicorns that governed the land
and so to say put everything under one's wing

A unicorn was considered the horse of the God's
It had the chiseled structure of a steeled spartan
It's horn holstered the power of a lighting rod
Sporting a mane as majestic as a mountain and
When it bucked on its hoofs the earth stood still in awe

They spent years on this planet protecting our spot
Behind the scenes in old men's wars they fought
But it was in the hidden rainbows with gold pots
Where their undisturbed and placid image was copped

Now its unfortunate we do not seem them nowadays
mainly because they did not embark on noah's ark
and all the CO-2 in the atmosphere we sprayed
means their world no longer remains and
Now their remains are just horses with no horns
and no potential to fly, so all they do is eat hay, ride and race
and when they die we just assume to make them into glue
JK! Happy Birthday!
* P.D. Unicorn Poem contest


Details | Dodoitsu | |

Botanical Duet

doditsu

Nature knows that smell forbids.
Marigolds repel aphids.
Reflex magnet finds its match
in your berry patch.



Details | Haiku | |

Big BANG

Creator creates then—BIG bang! creators destroy


Details | Limerick | |

Chelyabinsk

A hot opportunity knocks
Buy and sell incoming space rocks
We love asteroids
But are covered by Lloyds
In case our own blocks suffer shocks


Details | Limerick | |

Brontoleesaurus



I'm a long-necked Brontoleesaurus
Sometimes called great Apatosaurus
I only eat twigs and leaves
Another large salad, please?
And a steak for my friend, Segisaurus


tall brontosaurus
a museum favorite 
children gather



*Lee is my middle name

By Rhonda Johnson-Saunders, March 17, 2012
For the Dinosaur Quest contest (PD)
Third place


Details | Verse | |

Shrodinger's Cat

My name is Fritz, Shrödinger’s Cat,
I sometimes wonder where I’m at.
Within a small world I exist;
My master, he’s a physicist
Who talks of protons, neutrons too,
Held in place with magic glue.
He’s weird and in his element
Performing this experiment.

Trapped in a box and full of strife,
I feel I’ve only half a life.
My fate decided by old Geiger,
I wish I’d been a Bengal tiger !
My feline life hangs by a thread;
In two minds if alive or dead,
I muse “To be or not to be,
That, is the real uncertainty”.


His scientific articles
On sub-atomic particles,
Ionising radiation
And his famous Wave Equation
Earned Erwin cherished Nobel Prize.
I stare at him with knowing eyes –
He’s overlooked I have nine lives –
Against the odds, the CAT survives !


Details | Light Poetry | |

Awe Your Full Of It

<         twenty twelve

                  What The Hell !

                                       
                         cosmic conjuction
                                       
                               What's it's Function !


                                         ecologic collapse

                                                   Only Perhaps !


                                                             galactic beings

                                                                     I've Been Seeing !


                                                                             think it's all phony
                                                                         
                                                                                      And Full Of Balony  !

Entry For Gareth James's
2012 Contest
G.L. All


                                                                                              
 
                                            

                             


Details | Rhyme | |

And Goliath Said

Contractual agreements with publisher caused DELETION


Details | Rhyme | |

Mother Earth

I was told God made this marvellous place,
for the sole benefit of the human race,
although through the years it really seems,
as if this is the figment of someone's dreams,
and maybe a lot of what I've been told,
just seems to shine,but isn't gold.
Yes, I used to ask only now and then,
but nowadays it happens,again and again,
and the questions asked all revolve,
around a problem I can't solve.
How come it took him only six days,
to make the universe, for us to amaze,
and in this time to populate too,
our world with people and the rest of the zoo?
As I know for a fact, that when my dear mother,
was making my new little baby brother,
it took her about nine months or so,
before she was able to let him go,
and he could join us in this lovely place,
a shiny new addition to the human race.
So how come God could possibly do,
something like that in a second or two?
I think I'd better buy a new book,
this really does rate a really good look!


Details | Verse | |

Pink Slime

Pink Slime, Pesticides
And chicken thighs bigger than my thighs

And we wonder why there is an increase
in learning disabilities among children today 
I say it’s because the process, that the food is processed and grown and raised, is
compromised by demand, money, greed or fame. 
I do understand that demand is high 
so we have to do somethin’

So to compete, we inject hormones into the very animal or plant that is sold for consumption
So now we eat these hormones and our bodies are stressed because of the added pesticides and  herbicides and other sh#! that’s hard to digest  

I mean what’s really the cause?
There’s more kids with disabilities today than there ever was  
I say it’s because like the story is told in the verses, that knowledge is increasing in man and the result is not what He purposed. 

Pink Slime and Pesticides..We’re eating stuff that’s been chemically grown inside…and chickens bigger than my thighs


Details | Light Poetry | |

My Big Brother Is Watching You Too

"My Big Brother" up and down the street
  He could be anyone you meet
  Spying on you from the street
  Looking in from every beat
"My Big Brother" isn't that sweet

"My Big Brother" and I don't know why
  Casting in from above the sky
"My Big Brother" the commie spy
  Listening in do or die
  Bringing his book in
  Taught within
My Big Brother, 1-800-LET-US IN
  Caught with paper and a pen 
All because, "My Big Brother" let himself in


Details | Free verse | |

Love Hurts - The Symptoms

Thoughts displaced by rolling palpitations,
From left to right grow these numbing sensations,
A face which spirals down, drooping from smile to frown.

Time hibernates in this moment protracted,
Legs bow and shake to our drama just acted,
Senses into overdrive, does pain show you’re still alive?

Oxygen masks, Coxes’ rowing commands,
Heart beat machines is what love demands,
“You need time to relax”, prescriptions from Quacks,
Is love just a commonplace heart attack?


Details | Sonnet | |

Theory Of Everything

Researchers assume they can trust their GUT –
that is their Grand Unified Theory.
This simple answer is close, they think, but
the resolution’s still a bit bleary.

They’ve linked electromagnetic with weak,
on their way to full unification
but, for final culmination, must seek
the gravity of the situation.

They trust they’ll find the graviton one day,
through their particle acceleration.
Without this carrier to show the way,
they’re lacking complete illumination.

And thus they hesitate to claim they know,
since, still in the dark, they may stub their TOE. 


Details | Limerick | |

Asighd from Sighence

Ah, sighence, indeed quite a puzzly puzzle.
The hypothermical leaves you chilly with a muzzle.
Solvent? I think not,
Stirring up the pot,
Overflow of info, gear up you better guzzle.


Details | Rhyme | |

Curiosity Killed The Cat

We look up in wonder at the stars,
We ponder on there being life on Mars,
And so we've sent a craft to see,
A marvellous thing called "Curiosity".
And on the surface of the big red rock,
The last of its kind looks up in shock,
As from the sky there falls a star,
Which has travelled there from afar.
Then the star begins to slow,
And the last Martian feline down below,
Stares in wonder, as a chute deploys,
Soon followed by the strangest noise,
As the thrusters ignite to stop,
The rapidity of the strange craft's drop.
And then the craft begins to lower,
A separate large object from below her,
Which lands upon the creature's head,
Leaving it squashed and very dead!
Now just how terribly ironic is that?
"Curiosity" killed the cat!


Details | Limerick | |

Off The Scale

The young lady known simply as Bright, 
who could travel at speeds fast as light, 
said, “While I’m never late, 
I’m concerned that my weight
goes to infinite mass, though I’m slight.”


Details | Sonnet | |

Topping The Star Charts

Voyager 1’s “The Sounds Of Earth”

Eleven billion miles from the sun
a record, golden when it left these parts,
a runaway hit on Voyager One,
at Ophiuchus, sure to top the charts,
will introduce Mozart to other stars,
not to mention Berry’s “Johnny B. Goode”.
The knock-offs sold in alien bazaars
will knock their socks off or at least it should
make them extend their eyestalks in surprise.
They’ll soon begin to learn to sing along
to whales recorded and the baby’s cries —
adepts might even master Earth’s birdsong.
Should Beethoven not prove to be their fave,
Then Guan PingHu’s GuQin could be their rave.


Details | Haiku | |

A Taste Of Honey

Coffee is coffee,
Honey surprise cinnamon,
Delightful at best.


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

My Minds Eye, while looking thru a monacle

I need to find out what it all means,
so I searched for the truth in my dreams,
illusions of a shattered reality, unwoven at its seams.
All of life's cohesion, a plan or just by chance,
the gravity enabling this universal dance,
it all seems to run just like clockwork,
makes me wonder whether it might be Gods work?
So I looked through my minds eye, while I was wearing a monacle,
it really did make this world look..well, rather comical,
the distortions of vision were astronomical!
Atomic particles at a most basic level, I saw God, I fought the Devil!
The smallest atoms you can find, the Higgs Boson and strings that bind, 
I even watched as expansion hit rewind!
We're taking leaps out into space, huge accomplishment of the human race,
our solar system we've had a taste, further and deeper, how do you operate?
We'll one day finds Earth's new home, maybe under a giant dome,
or in a galactic ice cream cone? All the stardust that makes my bone.
Northern lights, just a jewel on my throne,
though science says 'it's just ozone'
have your ideas because their your own,
don't allow your mind to be overthrown,
things got hazy, or my mind got lazy,
so I took my rag and I buffed my lens,
it feels like I am bathing in pure cleanse!
Or i'm finally round the bend?
Will my head ever truly mend??
For when your balls knocked over the Wonderwall,
all kinds of delight, short or tall, await those who stumble across that garden,
you'll rub your eyes and pinch your skin, What? Hey? Pardon!
I have a sea view over all eternity, the 1000 you's, the countless me's
Life graces the universe, like a play well rehearsed,
starts with a nurse and ends in a hearse,
after the big rip, it's all in reverse!
©John-Ovan.P.Hull


Details | Personification | |

Are you there God its me Microsoft

My computer glared with social hate
I buried my head down
It beeped a message 
Telling me; we should really spend less time together,
I just think your making everything about me
I can't be friendly to your friends anymore
I can't keep wishing electronic happy B-days, when I don't know who the hell they are!
Tell me you hear me..... also this facebook wench! Jesus does she have to know
Everything you and me do in private
Can't we even go out on an on-line date,  
Without checking for the latest youtube sensation
I mean, since when do you even listen to OK Go?
Not only that, but you use me to steal others copyrighted material
I could go to jail and so could you,
Do you want the FBI to confiscate me from you? 
I thougt so, I just came to the conclusion that
You and me? we need to take a cyberbreak
You should try your cellphone sometimes..., I know he definately feels left out
Except when your using him to check on me! 
We're through
This is done 
I can't keep living life knowing that your using me to become sociably popular
I'm not your free ride to reality T-V fame
Get it? Got it? Good!
And if I catch you trying to tweet me in my sleep....
Well..... you don't even want to know!


Details | Light Poetry | |

Sheep Of The Apocalypse

The sundown shroud of evening fell
To settle on the city's wreck
Of buildings broke by wicked spell
Called by fate's destructive beck.

And from afar they saw the shapes
Stark, bleak against the red sunset
The ruined outlined cityscapes
Unknown misfortune met.

The country folk had little need
And rarely ventured to the smoke
But still they could not but take heed 
And wonder how those buildings broke.

So, from afar they wondered at
What strange calamity befell
The city that had been so great
But what they couldn't tell

A strange flock from the west emerged
The sunset blooded red their fleece
Had some uncanny demiurge
A flock of demon sheep released?

But, no, they were just simple sheep
That somehow seemed to be astray
Unanswered though the questions creep
To where the flock had been that day

The strangest tales are oft untold
And sealed before the tale's begun
Since they had sneaked out from the fold
What dark deeds had those sheepies done?