Submit Your Poems
Get Your Premium Membership

Death Dad Poems | Death Poems About Dad

These Death Dad poems are examples of Death poems about Dad. These are the best examples of Death Dad poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

If you don't find the poem you want here, try our incredible, super duper, all-knowing, advanced poem search engine.

Details | Rhyme | |

Soldier

I saw a burial with a bugler playing taps;
I turned to my father, “what happened?” I asked.
He clutched my hand and with a quiver in his voice,
he began to explain and his eyes became moist.

“My son,” he said, “this is rather difficult for me;
for an old veteran like myself this is tough to see.
In that coffin lies a genuine patriotic warrior,
an honest-to-God hero, an American soldier.

I appreciate that soldier and the service he gave,
and I honor his sacrifice as he’s laid in his grave.
He was honorable, selfless, courageous, and bold;
please remember him son, as you grow old.

The value of his service, I must explain,
if not remembered, will be lost in vain.
As a nation we’re nothing without soldiers like him;
and failing to remember would be a terrible sin.”

I listened in awe as my father spoke,
it seemed as if his heart were broke.
I suddenly remembered when he went to war,
and when he returned I thought nothing more.

I never asked why he walked with a limp,
and I didn’t care about why he was sick.
I was too busy enjoying the life that I had,
to realize that I had it because of dad.

I finally understood what my dad was about,
and it hurt so bad I cried out loud.
He sacrificed so much so I could be free,
and his battle scars were suffered for me.

It was my father’s spirit that spoke to me that day;
thank God I finally understood what he had to say.
I saluted his coffin as they laid him to rest,
and I thought about the medals pinned on his chest.

That I didn’t honor him sooner, I will always regret;
and I pledged that day to never again forget.
I’m proud that my dad was a patriotic warrior;
I’m honored to be the son of an American soldier. 


Details | Free verse | |

The Flame Is Still Burning

Death isn't what you think it is,
At least not when you sit with Death

Death I know. I know because once
I was in the same room with Death

Death isn't horrific, she, he is not a monster,
it was not frightening when I met Death

Death claimed my father when I wasn't there 
but she, he waited for me, the night I met Death

Death took the warm breeze from my father's chest
left him cold to the touch I was there next to Death

Death stole my father's voice left him quiet among the roar
of silent tears. I felt the moisture in the room next to Death

Death left with no more then what filled shallow pockets
graciously bowed on the way out, so I bowed to Death

Death I knew walked out empty handed as he does
my father's life still burning in memories, so I bowed to Death

my father's body was dead in that hospital bed 
but I couldn't help kiss warm my father's flesh
but I couldn't help speaking to him "I love you Dad"

three years passed since that night
my father is still alive in memories bright
he accomplished so much, touched so many
never a time when I needed my Dad
never once was he not there to help

how could you be sad for a man like that

he lives in my heart sheltered there
even when I am long gone he will live
preserved by my children and then theirs

how could you feel sad for a man like that

Always stood a giant in the largest of crowds
He was loved and admired, he never died
He was just needed somewhere else

Death isn't always what you think. he, she came and left
light as a feather I barely felt the presence of Death

Death?
 I've met him, when I meet her again
there will be no fear 
Death! 

It isn't always what you think it is.
When I met Death it was gentle as a lamb.



Maurice Yvonne
09/23/2014
Contest: The Poet III
Sponsor: Gautami Phookan


Details | I do not know? | |

Today Tomorrow Forever

                                 This day has come
                                 The day I've dreaded
                                 Dad I wish I could be
                                 in your arms once again,
                                  But I can only sit here
                                   and think of you instead,
                                I think of all memories
                                 we've once shared
                               I remember all your laughter
                                your love and your care,
                               when I needed someone you 
                              were always there,
                             But know my life is full of 
                             Emptiness and despair
                            Oh dear Dad you've been
                             gone almost a year
                             Still this pain is so severe
                            My heart is drowning in all
                              these tears
                          Consumed with all these
                           Rage and Fears,
                            wishing this was all
                              a horrid nightmare,
                         Your truly gone this I know,
                         I just want to tell you that
                         I still love you so, and I'll
                         hold on to your memories
                         I'll never let go,
                        For you were my Hero
                         You were my Dad,
                       you were one of my best friends
                       That a daughter could of ever 
                              had,
                        Now I know you're up there
                        and watching over me
                        with your beautiful spirit 
                        soaring so free,
                       I can feel your presence
                       always surrounding me
                      I just want you to remember 
                             Dad
                    That you'll always be
                    Today, Tomorrow, Forever
                    A Cherished part of 
                                             ME.....
 
                                             I STILL LOVE YOU DAD....HAPPY FATHERS DAY 


Details | Rhyme | |

too soon for me to cry

It's Tuesday, only moments away from sleep,
Into my thoughts the image of you did creep.
A tear tickles my cheek, stop, I don't want to weep.

I tried hard not to remember, but I can't forget.
Smothering the memories in a butterfly net,
Times like these my selfish brain fills with regret.

God, my mind knows there was nothing I could do,
Lines in the sands marked between us that you drew,
You never even said "Baby girl, I love you"

Because you knew the end was coming quick,
And if I felt nothing I wouldn't end up heart sick,
It worked, I feel nothing, a coat of paint plastered thick.

Sometimes a scratch gets through this tough coat,
I am alone clinging on to my water filled life boat.
With a weight on my ankles in a sea sorrow I float.

Two days until your birthday, I wouldn't know your age,
I've hidden all the facts of your death under red of rage,
This novel has been re-written and you weren't on the page.

Until the moment that you were, leaving me to question why,
Gasping at the breaths of how could you want to die,
Fourteen years later, tears in my eyes, is it too soon or too late for me to cry.

11-4-2014


Details | Rhyme | |

Loving Memory Of You

A time that was but could be no more
As a child feeling your love for me to the core
Placing my feet on top of yours to dance and to twirl
Nothing else in life mattered cause I was your baby girl
Playing your favorite song on the organ you had bought
As a child your love and attention I always sought
Picking wild flowers on our many country rides
When siblings argued you never took any sides
Listening to your stories believing each word was true
I felt no one loved their daddy as much as I did you
Riding on your shoulders as we took our family walks
Times we sat having father daughter talks
Whenever I looked up to you I'd see love in your eyes
All the family boardgames when you'd give me extra tries
Even if I acted out you never raised your hand
Without a word our respect you could command
Looking back on those things I find I must now say
Life without you in it feels like my darkest day
But now your with mom where you wanted to be
I'll keep our memories safe so your soul can be free


Details | Marsiya | |

I'm my Daddy Made Over

Dedicated to my Dad Jerry W. Niday 3/20/1952 - 6/18/2013


I am who I am because of him
He’s the reason for my son’s name
He gave me my courage & my strength
To stand tall even when standing wasn’t easy
Stand for the ones who can’t
To think and fend for myself
I’m my Daddy made over

Taught me to fight back 
To never back down
How to pick myself back up
When I’ve been knocked down
Fight for what I believe
I’m my Daddy made over

He gave me my stubbornness 
Gave me my pride
Gave me my temper
Taught me not to take crap
To speak my mind no matter who
Work for what I want
I’m my Daddy made over

How to keep my emotions in check
How to handle large amounts of pain
When in trouble he always had my back
He knew how my mind worked better than anyone
I got it from him
I’m my Daddy made over

Even though he’s gone
I’ll stand and continue on 
I may stumble I may fall 
May even get hurt along the way
But I’ll pick myself back up
I’ll dust myself off and stand tall
I’m honored and proud to say
I’m my Daddy made over


Sabrina Niday Hansel



Details | Elegy | |

I Need Your Help Daddy

I’m tired
I’m Physically and Emotionally tired
I don’t want to be the strong one anymore
I can’t this time
I don’t know what to do Daddy
I need your help down here

I can’t get back in control of my emotions 
I’m having a hard time dealing with your absence
I’m having a hard time standing by myself
I need your help Daddy

I’m broken and lost without you Daddy
I need your will to want to carry on
I need your strength to over come this
I need your strength to stay standing
Your courage to fight back again
I need your help 

Please Daddy I’m at a loss
How am I suppose to do this
I need your guidance 
I need you to guide me back
To whom I was before
I need your help Daddy
I need your help







Details | Free verse | |

Dementia

He was always so happy
strong and bold.
He'd give you the shirt off of his back.
Tough.
Independent.
He had a rough life
growing up through the depression,
but like he always does,
he got through it.
He has two boys, of whom he is so proud.
Moved from Regina, to Victoria.
He had the best life anyone his age could have wanted.
But ever since his wife died, 
he has not been the same.
Sad
Lonely
Empty.
But like he has always done,
he got through it.
Mind slipping, 
just a little forgetful.
That's how it always starts out...
But like always, he powered through it, 
until now...
He is not the same person that I used to know.
He been sentenced to the prison in his own mind.
Possessed by the thoughts of his dogs ashes.
He likes to play the blame game,
but we know he doesn't remember that it was him.
He wakes up in the night
shaking with pain, 
tears streaming down his face.
There is nothing we can do,
Oh well...
Two more tylenol.
Hold on to hope
for as long as you can,
It's only a matter of time now.
He gets vocal, a very loud tone.
He'll block you in your room
and make false accusations
But we know that it's the pain induced monster in him.
Tick tock, tick tock...
You can't handle the stress anymore
you have to leave.
Just hope for the best, 
maybe it will get better.
Surprise, it doesn't.
Your denial is foolish, everyone knows 
what happens next.
Sedation
Medication
Anger
Hurt
All results of
dementia


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

24 PROMISES

24  PROMISES 

Waking up in the arms of fire.
Ashes all around, burning  picture frame.
I see nothing, the night is dark as can be.
I look up, and see my father crying over me.
At this moment, I'm confused.
"AM I DREAMING!"
"AM I!"  

I feel and see the tears falling from his eyes.
Without hearing him talk, 
I PANIC ~

~At this moment. I feel my whole world collide~
Trying to talk, he whispers words,
Saying,  "It's your mother!"
He mutters, them words I don't want to hear.
"NO DAD DON'T TELL ME!"
"NO DAD DON'T TELL ME!"
My heart drops onto the floor..
One long drop, I can feel everything in me wake up.
My blood is rushing, my bones can't stand still..
These tears, falling from my dad are real.

*I'm not dreaming* ANYMORE!
Without caring to put my shoes on,
I rush into my car, and make it to mother's house.

The hours began to drag.
I got to see her lifeless body on the floor, 
The paramedics setting her on to a gurney. 
I jump on the ambulance,
Yelling at my mother to wake up.
"WAKE UP!"
"WAKE UP!"
She can't hear me,,, cause I'm crying. 
At this moment every minute felt like an hour.
**I actually felt eternity, just by holding her hand.**

Arriving at the hospital. 
I try to pull myself together.
Now her body is attached to life support.

I'm thinking she will pull through.
She always pulls through.

I closed my eyes, and told God, 
I know I don't believe in miracles, nor will I ask for one,
Don't take her today, or in that way.
Let her go on her own.
My eyes where close so tight,
God allowed a vision in my mind..
"My mother waiting for me on the other side"

I refused to let them remove her off LIFE SUPPORT.
Leaning over her lifeless body.
I whispered one thing into her ear, 
I told her, my son's birthday near.
I told her you never where there for me,
Stay for his birthday, than set your self free.

Hours, and hours past, she made it the first day.
Another 24 hours past, she stuck around another day.
Another 24 hours past, now it's my son's birthday.
Not another hour past, she decided to go her way.

She left without saying Good bye...
I cried, 
Ever since that day something inside me died.

by;p.d.


Details | Free verse | |

In Her Fathers Arms

The evening star glowing in a dust choked sky. A girl stands by a window, with a tear in her eye. She stares at the scene, hardly visible through the grime. She whispers in the wind, “Bring my Dad home this time” She opens the window, and climbs outside, Having a flashlight, in her hand, as her guide. Its glow shows the sides of the street. She’s afraid for what the light will meet Bodies piled everywhere she turns, She wants to go home, and never return. What brought this fate upon her town? All her emotions are stripped and torn down. A frightening sound explodes in her ear. Shadows in the road now appear. She run and hides behind a broken wall Praying to god the rest doesn’t fall. Footsteps coming closer to her She can’t tell who because it’s all a blur She backs away further so not to be seen in light, Quieting her heart pounding from fright. Gun shots and screams fill the air, All these sounds, her ears couldn’t bear. A slight whimper slips from her lips, And over the broken stone she trips. The shadows run closer, showering her heart with fear, She wishes they would just disappear. They pass by her; she fills with delight, She just wants to see her dad tonight. She shines the light, to show her place, And to the shine comes a familiar face. She doesn’t understand who’s to blame Because on the tag shows her father’s name. She holds in her tears and refrains from crying. She falls to the ground where her dad was lying. She lifts his arm and buries her face in his chest. She closes her eyes wanting to forget the rest. The shadows emerge yet she doesn’t see, How close the end for her would be. They look down at her, aim, shoot, and fire. Being with her dad is her only desire. The night had ended causing a little girl harm But she took her last breath, in her father’s arms.


Details | Rhyme | |

Good-bye Daddy

Daddy, much too soon you left,
Leaving your family so bereft.
I know you didn't want to go.
Oh, Daddy how I miss you so!

Your voice no longer will I hear,
And that alone brings many a tear.
Your loving hugs I'll also miss,
I won't forget your gentle kiss.

A man of principle and pride 
You remained until you died.
A life lived with integrity
Will be your lasting legacy.

Rest in peace my dearest Dad.
I'm thankful for the time we had.
Your earthly journey now is through,
But I will never stop loving you.

7/4/13
Dedicated to my dad, Earl Horger, Jr
who passed away 6/27/2013


Details | Free verse | |

Wisps

"Friend,
Mind wandering through misty woods.
You don't understand your purpose.
Friend,
I knew you too little,
Please do not shed your salty emotions,
Not out of anger, not out of sadness.
Friend,
You now lose your way so easily,
You sink, you burst, you burn inwardly.
You weep from frustrations, 
From the guilt of an honest smile,
From pains, that you forget for a moment,
That come swiftly back to haunt you of your loss.
I understand, dear friend.
You once had a light and the woods seek to snuff it out.
Do not fear, dear friend,
Friend follow me, as I once did you.
Friend, now you see?
Yes, you see,
The little wisps in the fog that guide us home."

~In memory of Bill Hamman, and all else who have suffered the pains of Alzheimer's


Details | Rhyme | |

" The Life Of Me " page 1 of 2

My name is James, born 1961
In Inverness, a small Scots town
To my father Andrew, and my mother Beryl
And Billy my brother, a pair of devils
 
In 67, we woke one night
Our house was ablaze, full of orange light
Our neighbour next door, for whatever reason
Started a fire, it must be crazy season
 
We had too move to a caravan park
By this time it,s three, to make a new start
My mother Beryl decide to leave
But the three of us left, never bothered to grieve
 
In the next few weeks, we ended in court
Two small children, in a marriage abort
We were asked to choose either Dad or Mum
But we ignored the parent, who went on the run
 
As we left the court, to start a new life
We felt sorry for Dad, as his illness was rife
He never told us that he was unwell
It would upset one of his boys, as the future will tell
 
Then came the night all parents dread;
Being told one of his boys is nearly dead
We were going to a boys club, on a Monday night
My brother was running so far out of sight
 
I turned the corner to see him ahead
No!! he's been hit by a van, Boom's  Boom's dead
I ran to my father, sreaming and crying
I'm finding my life,at 7 - far too trying
 
After the funeral, and with my father unwell
We left Inverness, our eyes a swell
To go as two, and not three as before
It's like Mother Nature closed a door
 
So we headed west, to a place called Fort William
Was it in the stars, cause Billy " is " William
We moved there, as the air was so pure
Hoping my father will find his cure
 
For whatever reason, we left the above
We found no Angel or peaceful dove
So we headed back to Inverness
Fathers health decreasing, life still a stress
 
Over the next few years, i was fostered and loaned
In couples houses and children's homes
It was really strange in all those places
Different people, different faces

Then on the 16th of Feb - 76,
James, i was told, your dads very sick.
The cancer had taken your father away
To be with Billy, where you'll join them one day

In 77, i joined the Navy, as i promised my dad you see. 
I did'nt enjoy it, i decided to leave 
Back up north, where my futures to be 
I wanted to have, what my parents had lost 
And that was my aim, no matter the cost

see page 2 of 2, ty..


http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/me.php


Details | Quintain (Sicilian) | |

No second glance

There I stood, barely nine
as he was taken in the light of day.
A prisoner of fate was I, given no sign,
to witness his limp body bruised lay,
yet as adult walked away from his shrine. 

There I stood, steeling my stance
for the sake of my silence
as children mocked, giving no chance.
From solitude I drew my resilience
and gave no second glance. 


Details | Rhyme | |

Heres Looking At You Kid

Dear brother you were only 22
when the good Lord came calling for you

Water had consumed your last breath
Coroners said was a flashback from heroin and meth

I had always looked up to you
but your verbal abuse made me and the others feel blue

black hair  hazel eyes man you look so like Elvis 
imitating shaking your hips and pelvis

blisters and sores on  your young pale face
oh boy how you had fallen from Gods grace

you had a little girl right after you died
Mom always stood by her and your girlfriend's side

first Grandpa then you Dad  Mom and brother Bob
for my life now feels like I've been robbed

missed over 30 yrs of wishing you  birthday greetings
now at the dinner table there is limited seating

but every year when your birthday comes and passes
I will be there to pick your grave site overgrown grasses

I wonder what you would look like today
or even if your hair would be full of grey

I have forgiven for all you had done to me
for I hold no regrets so your soul can be free

heres wishing you another birthday greeting
as I lay this card and rose at your grave site's seating

Please give Grandpa Dad Mom and brother Bob my love
for someday I will reunited with all of you above

For now I have my own little girl
for she is my own everyday  world

I promise to tell her all about you
and how God will turn you into someone pure and new

Rest in peace my loving dear brother
heres another birthday wish I send in passion smothers 






In Loving Memory Of
My Brother Gary

10/ 18/ 48
 6 / 5 / 71









Details | Elegy | |

Passing

To see her blog, adorned with pastel tones
Widens the gap that pervades my bones
For now we eat her passing meal of plain white rice
Leaving us all alone, without much needed fashion advice

The red light district has lost an inductee
For I would have love to be involved in her naked party
Yet for now we must all be content 
With the debauched path she hath went.

Sadness invades a binary world
Where tweeters and bloggers hearts have curled
Bringing back memories of Madonna’s ‘Like A Virgin’
Her fashion advice precise like a mastoplexic surgeon

I remember the fervour when you were followed by Kath Kidston
A similar experience when I had my first Jar of Branston
Yet when you found out the intensity with which I was following you
You wanted to change species and become a Gnu

You learnt to accept my frequent outpourings of love
When you finally spoke to me, I felt as free as a pure white dove
But upon your departure I feel pathetic and hollowed
The best I can hope for is the number of one of the hot bloggers you followed

She was always my muse, my intimate inspiration
No-one can cause such an outpouring of personal perspiration
My heart now yearns to see her type a special tweet
One that would make Mr Sexton act like a dog on heat

Now the world mourns the passing of Lily Fulvio-Mason
I can still see her face reflected in my wash basin
With every heart beat, every full blooded pulse
My sadness streaked blood makes my body convulse

But now it’s time to go, my heart says goodbye
The pain eats my nipples like the Syrphid Fly
I can finally see your body laid in an eternal rest
And now I can now finally uncover your breast.


Details | Epic | |

We Lost More Than a Dad

We lost more than just a Dad that day
We lost half of how we came to be
We lost we four girls first love
We lost our Best Friend

We lost more than just a Dad that day
Our Mom lost her Soul Mate, Her other half 
Our children lost their Papaw
We lost our family’s foundation 
We lost the glue that held us together

We lost more than just a Dad that day
We lost the Strongest man we ever knew 
We lost the man we looked up too
We lost we four girls Teacher of many things

We lost more than just a Dad that day
We four girls lost our Hero
We lost some of our Light
We lost part of our Heart
We lost part of our Soul

We lost more than just a Dad that day
We lost some of our Courage
We lost some of our Strength
We lost some of our will to fight back
We lost some of our will to carry on
We four girls lost more than a Dad
We lost more than just a Dad that day


Details | Lyric | |

I Hate You Cancer

Dedicated to my Dad who lost his short battle w/ Colon Cancer on June 18,2013

I hate you Cancer
Your vile evil and cruel
You don't care who you hurt
I'll never forget that day
I'll always hate you for it

Your heartless Cancer
You took someone important from me
Someone important from others too
Took people who didn't belong to you
I hate you for it

You disgust me Cancer
You had no right to take him from me
He mattered more than my very own life
I hate you for taking my Daddy
I hate you for taking others too

I hate you with a passion Cancer
You took part of my heart with him
You took part of my soul that day too
I hate you for it
I hate you I hate you I hate you

I hate you with every fiber of my being 
Go back to Hell where you belong
I hate you, others hate you
Your not welcome or wanted here Cancer

I hate you more than his doctor's
I hate you more than God
I hope I get to witness that day
Witness the day you fall
And you will fall Cancer

You're gonna lose the battle one day Cancer
I'm gonna laugh and dance around your grave
You'll finally get what you deserve 
And you'll never be able to take another soul


Sabrina Niday Hansel


______________________________________________________________________
Placed 8th in Poet Destroyer A's  2013 "PINKTOBER" Contest

Please Support a Cure for Colon Cancer & every other type!









Details | Rhyme | |

When A Son Loses His Father

Now that he's without him
what is he working for
He had never truly realized
His dad drove him to want more
With working came acceptance
replaced emotions he concedes
and his father unavailable,
he kept his schedule filled with deeds,
When his father passed away
it broke him to the core
just learning he and his dad
had things in common they stood for
His dad had loved unconditionally,
despite his character flaws
and perhaps was thinking he'd call his son
when the winter thaws
but winters came and went
and neither reached to call
yet they truly loved each other
despite their voices being awol
His imperfect life with his Dad,
is now the oddest gift he treasures
He's vowed to be a father
for his sons to proudly measure
He says "I love you" to his kids,
and has being saying so for many years
then thinks of what he missed
with his Dad,
and it reduces him to tears
Nothing can make that emptiness go
he carries the lesson learned
Knowing now to speak his love out loud
not said to be returned
When a son loses his father
a part of himself fades into the light
as do the words he rarely stated,
like, "Dad, nice to hear from you tonight"
or picking up the phone to say,
"hi dad, did you just hear",
are calls he wished he'd made
while he wipes away a tear,
Now in a prayer he says, "I love you Dad", 
to the heavens he kneels and pleads
and wonders if his fathers knows
that his love's so strong, it bleeds
"Dad, in case you didn't know it,
I love you more than I can say
I always tell my kids I love them
I learned that the hard way,
and in my heart,
my father,
you shall always stay".


Details | Munaajaat | |

Tell Me

I'm lost hurt and angry
Why did you take his life
I want, No I need to know
Tell me, Tell me why
I deserve to know

Haven't you done enough to him
What'd he ever do to you
He suffered his whole life
Suffered more than anyone deserved
Tell me, Tell me why you did it
I have a right to know

Why'd you let him born to them
Born to worthless parents
Parents who didn't care
They threw him away like garbage
Pawned him off on someone else
Tell me, Tell me why
Explain how you could do that

You gave him Polio
You let others treat him like disease
You took away the full use of his legs
You warped his hand and foot
Tell me, Explain to me why
I deserve to know

You let others think he was crazy
You let it go on for over year
You didn't stop it, Why
Tell me, Give me your reason
Answer me, Help me to understand

You go and make matters worse
You gave him Cancer
You didn't give him a chance to fight back
You just jerked him away from us
Tell me, Tell me how
How you could be so cruel

How can others not question you
When others do it, It's murder
But when it's by your hand
It's your will, Their fate
Tell me, What makes you so different
Your no better than the demons knocking at the door

You heard me beg and plead
You know I'm not afraid to die
I was willing to carry it all for him
I was willing to take my Daddy's place
You didn't even let me say Goodbye
Tell me, Tell me why I couldn't take his place
Answer me, you owe me that much



Sabrina Niday Hansel
~Niday40873~

(motif) Spiritual


Details | Lyric | |

Don't Cry

Please don't cry over my casket 
For I am not there 
Please don't cry at my grave 
My soul has been set free 
I know it's hard not to cry 
I've been down that road one to many times 

I have no more pain 
I have no more sickness 
And I would not change a thing 
As I walk threw the gates of Heaven 
Mom Dad our brothers and sisters 
Will welcome me with open arms 
Here I am free of that pain 

Don't blame yourself 
It was my time to go home 
This is where I'm supposed to be 
Don't dwell on things which you can not change 
I will always be in your heart 

I will always be watching over you 
When that day comes for you to come home
I will be there to welcome you 
With open arms
And walk you threw the gates of Heaven 
You will be greeted by our family & friends
Who came home before you 
Until that day I will be watching over you


Details | Elegy | |

Daddy

"Daddy" the way I call my father
The man who loves my mother
The man who gave life to me
And the man who will risks his life to protect his family.

He's not showy about his feelings
But I know he loves us unconditionally
He gets angry when his siblings were hurt
And he makes us laugh the way he dances and tells us jokes

Now..he left us already
His silly jokes,crazy dance moves now were gone
Coz he went to a far away land
In a place where  hurt and sorrow has no place in man

I miss my daddy a lot
His voice,
His jokes,
His crazy dance moves
And his being father to us
I miss everything about him!

I know God has a plan
And I give everything into His merciful hand
Pls.take care ofmy daddy in heaven
Coz someday we'll see him again
And continue the sing and dance with him again...


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

My Dad

My Dad was Chicagoan.
He would light up a room just like my Mom. 
He loved to fish ! He loved his beer .
He also designed a Octagon home in the 70's 
Built custom by hand . I was very proud of Dad .

Alcohol hit our Family , a curse .
He left my Mom when I was 14 in Illinois.
To renew in California , leaving a trail of tears .
Meeting my step mom , my sisters age .
My 2 sisters they were accepted in her world . 

Not I , I looked too much Like Mom . Told this all my Life . 
She a petite Beauty , RN , real estate Broker .
I did not see why it was wrong to be like mom ?

I moved in with Dad, His new Wife , and 2 sisters 
eventually . All three women were competing for my Father .
I was kicked out at 16 yrs.

Years do pass , you try and accept people places and things .
At the end of Dads life , he was calling me once a week .
I ordered a Engraved Clock for the Fathers day coming.
This was a issue for the Wife and sisters , never invited to his new home , 2 Decades ~My little Brother & I , never wanted .

Dad passed suddenly one sad Spring Day . Not one word from his wife , all 3rd party,  how and when,  Dad Died . being denied the right to his address , even to say goodbye .
Not being able to send my engraved clock . 

 "Dad Passed " received call  from sister whom just stayed a week with me ,  I took her all around the sites here . "1st day I get call , you should come , 2nd Day after , Dad's been cremated already . " It was a lie.

I went anyway , finding the funeral home, the Funeral Director was appalled at the denial displayed.

He insisted I was given 10 minutes alone with Dad , my Birthright to say Goodbye , he was in dismay over the Hostility towards a daughter ~

I get to this room of mean relative's. His sisters , Mine, angry looks , hearing from a Aunt "What is she doing Here ! " I can't give nor reason or rhyme. 

 Shame to you and all that participated that wicked day.
 Are you Glorified with Power?  Denied the right to grieve , 

 Left with no sane answers to give in hatred received by Blood . Some , just Spouses , telling me I had no right to Say Goodbye to my own Father , My DAD .

My Dad wanted me there , I know he did . I love Him and will never forget , his youngest girl whom looked like Mom . I know in my heart and dreams he speaks. 
 We all see when we leave . May God not allow any Son or Daughter to go through such Evil.

Thank-you Poetry Soup for returning my voice .


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

Trip on, Trip up

Walk before you speak.
Lend your voice that seek.
Foot forward and back.
So will that be a fact.
Gone by and be well.
Trip up and put into a cell.
Got no one to talk to.
I want a phone call to sue.
When I wake from my slumber.
I wish not to be hit by lumber.
Going to become a dreamer.
I hope that I do not become a screamer.
I got new shoes.
With colorful strings that are loose.
I am slow on tying them.
I feel they are harder than stem.
String are not new.
They smell pew.
I walk once again to journey.
That means I need some money.
Trip up again with meaningless acts.
Walking with out trust that lacks.
Shamefulness I speak.
I go behind a tree to leak.
I have no home set in stone.
Wheeling and dealing always alone.
Since I was a child that was left on the street.
I became a street beat.
Strolling with confidence to day.
Making my way.
Some law men stop me.
I was so out of it that they can see.
They thought I was on drugs.
I was really itching bugs.
Stumbling because I have not eaten.
So they grab me and I got beaten.
They finally found me innocent.
So I told them to get bent.
I was a good citizen with high hopes.
The society today thinks I am on dopes.
Can I be help with no pain.
Will they put me some were I will gain.
So I was put into a helpful place.
I was then able to eat and say grace.
Some crazy person came in and started shooting. 
So people ran and started looting.
Cannot get away from bad luck.
Sure enough I feel so stuck.
Knowing that I was fleeing.
I became worth not seeing.
I lay there my time just feeling has pass.
Losing my mind and running out of gas.
Finally I hear a person the sound sounds so weak.
A life time that I wanted to seek.
Found myself in a bed.
Down to nothing I was shed.
A person with white clothes that said your in luck.
You survived and now you owe some buck.
So sad not really glad.
Bad thing was the kid that was shooting was my lad.
Time really passes I just want to walk.
To see my kid to talk.
Why did he do what he did.
Dad he said I was starving and I am a kid.
So I have turn to a life time of crime.
Dad do not give me your time.
Because when we talked long ago.
You just left home with all the doe.
Hope you have a good life.
Because mom had been a good wife.
Now it is your turn.
So you can walk into the fire and burn.
With out a doubt you will walk away.
Trip on and Trip up and you will never pay.
Now dad keep your love.
Because I seek my mother above.
You will be chain.
Down you go insane.


Details | Elegy | |

A TEAR FOR DADDY

written 22nd Oct 2013



Even after sixteen years
 still I cry your daughters tears
Every year on this day, will always be sad
 known only as the date, God took my dad

    1st June 1954- 22nd Oct 1997
    
         Allan Thomas Holmes


Details | Elegy | |

last dance

Last Dance
It was a beautiful day A day of celebration, a day of thrill It was the day of my sister’s 18th birthday The most waited day of a girl to be a lady and I? I was a girl that time and all I have to do is to Observe and cooperate And it was our most anticipated moment To witness that celebration and to witness our dear father as the first dance of my sister who was missing us for many years because of separation. Yet we didn’t know that, that would be the first and very last day of the year that we’ll see him His body was so thin His face looks sickly and heartbreaking He looks so different But he remained calm and at ease Michael Gan the first rose, He stands and overwhelmingly danced for my sister They turned and sway They dance like it was the last He was overjoyed Filled with different emotions Happy, touched, sad, missing us, and regretting His heart jumped over him He tries to catch his breath touching his own chest We hasten him to the nearest sickbay To salvage his life His precious life, my father Battling from death, loses his fight His eyes wide open, no air No movements, no smile because... It was his last dance


Details | Elegy | |

DEAR PAPA

by Gilbert Mapengo Mwanguku

Why so soon Pa?
I thought you should have been patient
Without being a patient on the hospital bed
You could have waited for a little while
To see me grow the seeds you bestowed in me
And let them glow to the world all over
But you hurried in a twist of events
Making events twist events of the future
You left our souls torn asunder
As you surrendered to the black thunder under
Whether it meant to be a starter of new life somewhere
None of us knew how to renew your life here
Like a thorn deep in flesh it endlessly pains
They are now calling us cowards 
The award of your departure driving us backwards
Misery oozing out from these ruptured veins
You were a hero our pillow
In you we were relieved of our sorrows
We mourn you every morning
So as you eternally rest
Let there be peace in your nest































































 


Details | Prose | |

Goddess

They say the sun shines on the skin of a goddess her hair dark filled with flowers and her skin of silk,
When you see her don't let her go she will treat u like a god and run her silk hands against the ruffness of your skin she will show u the right way to enlightenment her eyes golden brown so deep you can get lost she can see right through you and know the depth of your soul she will speak words so smooth softer then the wind 
Skin so smooth the sun follows her every move.


Details | Free verse | |

Love, Death, and Rebirth

The signs started in December
When she started waking up in tears each night
She was a normal girl with dark brown hair and darker brown eyes
She had plenty of friends and a loving family with just one thing missing
Her father. 

Days passed by and turned into weeks but only felt like a few seconds
Her life just whizzed by faster and faster until it was just a whirr in front of her eyes
Darkness filtered into her heart and mind until she didn't know if she could go on
But she had to. She couldn't let her mother and her sister drown in this same pain
She wouldn't let them.

She pushed all the darkness into the depths of her own heart
In hopes to save the hearts of the two people she had left
Because what else was there to live for now?
The rest of her world had crashed and her mother and sister was all that was left 
She wouldn't let them drown in pain too. 

She watched as they started to heal in her loving arms
Their hearts started to lighten up once more
But hers was just as dark as it was before 
And growing darker day by day 
But she wouldn't let that stop her. 

Suddenly a year had passed... and then two 
It only seemed like seconds to her but everyone else started moving on
Her mother and sister no longer needed her nurturing care
But she needed someone to hold on to
Anyone...

With nothing left for her to take control of, the dark pushed past her boundries 
It found a way into her soul
Until all she could see was dark and no light 
But her mother and sister were healed now
They didn't understand

The tears came back and engulfed her soul
Bit by bit until she wasn't sure why she was still alive
The grief took over like knives 
Piercing her skin over and over and over
It hurt so much.

She started to wonder what it'd look like to be dead
She could see him again if she was
Wouldn't it be so much easier than having to endure this pain?
Wouldn't it be so much easier than having to live knowing she'd never see him again?
It would.

So she started to hate herself
All that negative energy was starting to take toll
Everyone around her was breathing while she suffocated more and more by the second
She wished she'd just choke already instead of living in constant pain
If no one would put her out of her misery, she'd have to do it herself

She couldn't see any light anymore
So she grabbed the pill bottle off the shelf and just hoped it wouldn't take long to die
Deep down she still had a spark of light, but she just couldn't find it 
And now it was too late in her mind to change, to turn back and try to look deeper
She was done living.

That's when people started to notice that everything wasn't as peaceful as it seemed
They started to see how deeply depressed she had become
They wanted to help her see the light again before it was too late 
So they sent her away to see doctors and to take pills to make everything better
It was a start.

She didn't see a change at first but suddenly she could think clearly
Maybe what they were doing was actually going to help her see the light again
Yes, she still wanted to die, but maybe that wasn't the only option anymore
They cared,  and behind all their own problems they were trying to understand
They really were trying

Six months longer she would be treated and cared for
Until suddenly she was sent home from her treatment and care with a smile on her face
She had a new perspective
Someone had helped her ignite that spark in her heart until it was a glowing ember
She had been reborn

Sometimes you have to be able to experience the worst of it
To come back shining brighter than before
And if she had died that cold day in October, she wouldn't of ever seen the best of it
Or known that it would get better
and it did!

And she now sits at her laptop, with a smile on her face and warmth in her heart
It's never been an easy road and it won't ever be
But at least she knows she's lived through the worst
And it can only get better from here

So whenever she feels lonely or gets back into that dark spot again
She can look back on what she's learned and can read this poem
And remember that she survived the darkest depths of depression
And she will continue to survive it as long as she lives
Because she is stronger now than she ever was before ?


Details | Elegy | |

IN MEMORY TO MY FATHER

written 23rd Oct 1997

So long I needed to visit
 but my heart didn't listen
Letting you know how much "I love you so"
 is now something, you will never ever know

Now that you are gone
 I know I waited to long
If I could just have that one more chance
 I would never treat it as just another glance

Now, you have become my biggest memory
 for you have gone, to a place I can not see
Knowing that we will never again touch
 makes me miss you, so very much

My children are still to young
 to wonder why pop hasn't rung
My heart is now empty
 for you, it always had plenty

I really do need to have you back
 you were the "only one, who saw me back
I know deep down inside
 you love me, more than words could describe

For it is only now, that I realise why you didn't want me around
 you knew how "painful it would have been, to watch you drown
But, as long as I am still alive
 you too, will continue to survive

For I will always be your darling little Denise
 who hopes, you forever rest in peace

                    ALLAN THOMAS HOLMES
                1st June 1954- 22nd Oct 1997


Details | Free verse | |

The Old Salt

The Old Salt was a special man who came along in a time
when he was needed most.

A time that is now gone forever.
When men believed and sacrificed, when hero’s walked the earth in mass.

When patriotism was not just a word
but,
by what men lived and judged the worth of each, 
a man who lived a life most of us cannot comprehend. 

An era now gone as this warriors tour of duty ends at this station, 
and begins anew in the heavenly fleet. 

Sail on Sailor into your unaccompanied tour,
we salute you.

What greater honor, that when a man moves forward, 
he leaves behind in each of us the best of what he was. 

A defender, protector, supporter, victor, a warrior, 
the last of the breed from an era when ships were made of wood
and men were made of steel.

The Old Salt has reported for duty that takes him away from us for now. 

Those of us who remain behind,
remember, and will continue to remember, 
because he now resides forever in our hearts.

As I look up at night, I envision The Old Salt,
a beret draped just above the eye, 
as he draws upon his pipe, 
quietly he waits.
The guardian of heaven’s gate.



Details | Lyric | |

Forever Changed

June 18, 2013 our world was Forever Changed
We where over halfway home
When we got the call from our baby sister

Said we need to get back home
We need to come as fast as we can drive
Mom really needs us
Something’s wrong with Daddy
The whole way we drove 80
Hoping & Praying we’d make it in time

Our Family & Friends were weeping 
By the time we got to his side
We knew our Daddy had been taking
And our hearts they were breaking
We never got to say Goodbye
We each softly kissed that man
We four sisters climbed in his bed 
We laid down beside him 
And cried just like babies
For our world was Forever Changed 
 
 


Details | Narrative | |

yet I remember his sweater

 I dreamt of my Father whom passed 3 years ago, 
 as I awoke , he was standing with his beige silk business slacks on 
 In truth, it may have been not a dream but his ghost telling me something ..
 he was a fine looking man and this time with no illness, 
   ~ yet I remember his sweater ~
 over 15 years the last time I saw my Father , he called to tell me Grandma passed"
 His beautiful Mother, and he wanted me present at her Funeral processions.
 I was important to him and my Grandmother , as my children were too.
 His heart was broken as we all are not exempt from pain in our lives..
 So his presence was much different then the last visit alive.
  ~ yet I remember his sweater ~
 he was here to tell me something
 his face beautiful and luminance with a certain serenity
 he appeared just before I awoke in full form 
 The beige pants, nice shoes, Italian, a white shirt underneath that sweater 
 I remember the sweater being of a fine make, cashmere and purple..
 I never wanted my Fathers money when he passed , just a sweater , his scent 
 being refused to grieve with my siblings and blood , refused any little thing of his
   ~ yet I remember his sweater ~

I love you too Dad , Your youngest girl.



   

 
 


Details | Enclosed Rhyme | |

if i had one last minute Dad

  If I could tell you just one last thing 
  I would tell you Dad, I wish I had more time with you 
  you taught me how to stand tall , do things the right way 
  If I could tell you Dad , before you flew your plane that Day..

  You had asked me to go , and many times I wish I did .
  For my fate would be as yours and Friend , Death,  by a crash in the end.
  I think what was so hard for me Dad , is I always felt something special 
  This was only something you could give me Dad ,  no other ..
  
  Since you left September 4th , a bitter afternoon , not just losing you , myself  too.
  I lost you Dad, maybe I could have told you not to fly your plane that day..
  Or maybe you were just too good for this World , and could not stay ..
  For I have found many judgments in life , no one builds me up like you did .

  If I had just more minute , after your remains were discovered after 9 months 
  I would hold you , and tell you I love you , Please don't go , just stay with me.
  And still , I can't let go . If I could just free my soul.. Dad, if I had just one more minute .
 
  In Honor of "Thomas Francis Kelley " your proud Son , Mark L. Kelley, 
  wrote by; Shanity Rain. 
  I hope your playing Golf in Heaven so when I get there , we can play 9 holes.


Details | Rhyme | |

Remembering Dad

She had a glimps of a man who favored her dad,
longing to have him back it made her sad.
Reminicing about the things that they once did,
Memories flooding back that time had hid.
She recalls his cologne how it smelled of Old Spice,
or how they'd sit for hours giving out his advice.
he'd hitchike to work to put meat on our table,
Even on those days he just was'nt able.
He loved his family with every breath that he took,
with love in his heart and each stern look.
He loved his children no matter what they did wrong,
She has'nt seen his face, it had been so long.
He's kept every weed or flower she had ever picked him,
since he died her world grew so dark and dim.
The weed that she picked for him he had placed in his pocket,
like a buried treasure or a heartfelt locket.
He like to fix cars and hang at the bar,
away from his family he did not stray far.
He often liked to laugh at his own joke,
to protect his family he could easily prevoke.
He's embedded in her memory as the years pass by,
laying at rest with her mother is where his soul lies.


Details | Ballad | |

My kiss from Heaven

My Kiss from Heaven

I used to have a Ouija board
I’d play with it for hours
I never really believed in it
I thought it had no power
It was just a novelty
To me, a piece of fun
Then once when I was playing it
Just before the day was done

All of the room went kind of still
And a silence touched my soul
It felt like angels were all around me
And my world felt kind of whole
My hand went whirring round that board
Like me, I could not stop it
I felt that I had no control
It disturbed me just a bit.

A message, well it seemed to come
It seemed to say to me
“Phone your father in the old country
And do it speedily”
So I did this, I phoned Mum up
She told me dad was sick
And If I wanted to see him alive
I’d have to get back quick.

Well I got back to see my dad
Then he died not too long after
I let him know how much I loved him
And we shared some tears and laughter
I ask, was this a kiss from Heaven?
It seems like this could be
All I know is I’m glad it happened
It changed my life for me.

11 September 2013 @ 1453hrs.
Peter Duggan.








Details | Rhyme | |

To My Daddy-Rest In Peace

It doesn't seem
quite like you're 
gone,
this has to be a dream,
knowing each other
had just
begun,
the future were 
yet to be seen.
I'd hoped with all my
heart and soul,
but it seems that no matter
what,
to know you better were 
my only goal,
but now the future has 
come to a 
stop.
I'll never forget the thing's
i learnt,
by walking by your side,
and i know that when i speak you'll
hear,
so i know that i don't need to say
goodbye.
Not yet, not ready for
you to leave,
so i'll talk to you in my head,
and i'll see you in my 
dreams.
And when the time does
come,
to let go of the past,
i'll say goodbye,
with tears in my eyes,
but you'll know that
our friendship will last.
And just like you said,
in a poem i read,
a poem you wrote for me,
father and daughter,
reunited at last,
and then for eternity.
R.IP (12/07/1967~07/02/2014)
 I LOVE YOU DADDY!


Details | Couplet | |

Unknown

Who am I?
Am I defined by what is near in sight?
Am I defined by what I have done,
Or am I defined by what I could become?

Perhaps I'm of no use.
To him, or her, or I, nor you.
Or perhaps I'm too misunderstood to be defined,
And it is something like understanding that comes in time.

And if to the world I'm never shown,
Yet in my own light I've grown and grown,
And so I can know no happiness but my own--
The reason for my smile, to you, will forever be unknown.

I do not pray for the world to know my name.
For it and verse; the letters are the same.
And if a man should find his sorrow in what he reads,
I pray his pain my words to keep. 

Should his eyes rain on my page,
Better tears than storms of rage.
And if a man should find his sorrow in what he reads.
I pray his pain my words to keep.

And if to the world you're never shown,
Yet in your own light you've grown and grown,
And so you know no happiness but your own.
Let the reason for your smile, to you, only be known.


Details | Pantoum | |

Too Young

You were such a young man,
With the best of life in your grasp.
I was barely a boy,
Too young to share a man's secrets.
With the best of life in your grasp,
But you quickly slipped away,
Too young to share a man's secrets.
I wish you were here today,
But you quickly slipped away.
I was barely a boy.
I wish you were here today,
You were such a young man.



For Debbies Tough Get Going Contest May,14 2013


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

The Rain and Wind

The wind blew events all over the place.
Intense emotions and it gave chase.
Lightning lighting to show us the sky.
People try to sleep and not cry.
Wisping by the wind keeps us awake.
The time trying to sleep the storms take.
Chills in everyone gives all shiver.
The clouds surrounded by moonlight is silver.
Heavenly prayers that the rain will stop.
The flood stopped a car the person in it was a cop.
People have seen such devastation.
The road that people made was week in creation.
Rivers near by was over flowing.
Trees that were there was not showing.
By the hour it claimed many.
My father woke up and did not see any.
Floating by was a boat.
Keeping people above water and a float.
My father kept a canoe.  
That some day we would use it, that he knew.
Time to paddle up and down the street.
The rain water kept getting on our seat.
It was so dark after the moon was behind the cloud.
Still the noise of thunder still covered the ears loud.
The smell of moist water never seem to go away.
My brothers seem to still sleep anyway.
My head was bobbing up and down.
I was so tired that I could not hear a sound.
The wind blew back and fourth.
It seems that my mom and dad paddle their worth.
Till all the people we saw with grace.
Help us out with embrace.
The time was so late at night.
Everyone was so sleepy and losing sight.
The fight with the weather was so hectic.
The feelings of energy was electric.
Losing to such natural disaster is hard to understand.
When people working hard to block the river with bags of sand.
With hard workers like my mom and dad.
They make things happen that is not bad.
Rough with weather they experience more than ever.
Leaders they are they are very clever.
From the night light of street lights to the morning glow.
The wind did not stop so.
Bringing in more clouds that ill.
The people who were still tired still had will.
The rush of water and waves blasting push the wall side.
Pushing and the force brought water inside.
The battle of our hour was getting long.
Backup people came to aid us was strong.
Rested they were to keep everyone with hope.
The people stopped the water with the strength of rope.
Heavy rain and loss of homes bring people together.
It is kind of sad that this was the only time to gather.
Chaos comes happiness how true.
This is why we are human that gives us a clue.
It is our nature to keep rain falling.
To know when it is time for our calling.
The winds bring such pain and sorrow.
That is why rain sometimes fallow.








Details | I do not know? | |

Family Matters

In the attic, above wooden floor,
through the hallway of psychotic, locks upon my door,
near the broken window and glass of the sore,
hiding in the shadows,
bloodstains on the wall.

 Number nine,
house at the end of the street,
where lights are low,
where silent never sleep.


Details | Free verse | |

A Father In Love

PART I
The Joy of a birth, his own shine penetrating his eyes,
The new out born fruit of a long spend love,
Her hands rubbing against her red shiny chin,
Her legs crossed, the beauty that sings till the last breath.
Her thumb in her mouth, blowing, saliva flowing all over,
Her tiny grassy hairs and a sensational smile!
His mind throbbing with a pleasant paternal pain,
Oh, the enduring love! 

He curls her onto his lips, the roses of affection,
Fell on her bright cheeks and a spurt of emotions,
Through his blood, that glowed the heavens between
And his two round globes filled by a sea of passion.

“Come to me, my baby, my love, my little daughter….   
  My sweet little doll, 
  I will love you till my death…
  And I will carve a heavenly doll,
  For you to sleep with….My angel…”

The man thus became a father and a true paternal love
Flew through his heart, into the unknown worlds.
                              PART II
The enthusiasm of the youth, and desire for the taste of love,
Her tiny grassy hairs grown long,
The soft fabulous filaments of keratin hanging by her curves,
The dream of a girl, for a handsome prince haunting her nights,
And eventually flourishing into a full blossom shiny daffodil,
Her lips wet, her legs crossed, her red cheeks burning
And the sweats flowing through the blankets.
 Oh, the youthful pleasure! 

The ghostly love takes her into the world of souls
From there the memories of her father,
Pulling her back, into the past world.
The affection fought heavily with the gods, but, only in vain.
And the gods decided to keep in their beds, the beauty of hers.

Unknown of these realities, he opens the door
And finds his love fallen prey to the love of an unknown.
All his dreams to carve her a heavenly doll to sleep,
Perished only in the mightiest darks of the underworlds.
The life in his soul had gone and the bird shall sing no more…

  “Not yet, my love, not yet ….
    I haven’t died …my love ….I haven’t”
 
He fells on his knees and takes her into his arms,
Her head hanging down by his flexed elbow,
Her breast pressing hardly into his heart,
His face bends, lips on her forehead,
And his teethes hurting her pale feathery skin,
Tears of unfinished love dribbling from his spheres, her face wet,
He cries loud with no breath in-between.
                                THE END©Anees Rahman


Details | Concrete | |

Daddy

Away and into the night
My broken mind takes flight
You left me here
All alone to battle my own fear

I follow still in your steps
Even though it may lead to my death
It helps numb the pain
Shooting liquid fire into my veins

Daddy, sometimes when it's late
I feel like I can almost see your face
When I'm up there flying high
Sometimes I wonder if you look down and cry

If you're up there somewhere
Maybe one day I'll meet you there
But for now 
I'm just trying not to come crashing down


Details | Rhyme | |

My Father's Heart

Hearing your heartbeat my ear on your chest 
moments like that I loved best
For every heartbeat was special to me
'cause it meant my dad I still get to see

Then I went to bed that night
peacefully next door you were sleeping tight
I never feared lying in that dark room
knowing it will take only one shout and you'll be there soon

Waking up the next day, getting out of bed
I got done for work and that morning not much were said

I remember your words the previous night
"Leave her just now she'll be alright"
A worried mom kept asking what is wrong 
'Cause she didn't understand why i looked so down 

Off to the doctor you went that day 
and in hospital you had to stay
I prayed to God "please just let him be okay"

Hours have passed and your words got less
I told myself that you'll be fine after a couple of days of rest
I never prayed so hard
asking Him "please please just help him God"
I never stopped hoping and believing
That soon with my ear on your chest i will still hear you breathing

Seven days have passed, not a word from you
Imagining you waking up saying "I'm fine how are you?"
In the ICU lying with my ear on your chest
This time only small little breathes
I felt safe so close to your heart
That fatherly love my favorite part

Your words that previous Thursday night
"Leave her just now she'll be alright"
I never knew those words would be your last
'Cause a week after those words... Daddy, you've passed

Lying with my ear on your chest
The moments I used to love best
My world came crashing down
and that moment was never the same
'Cause that moment I realized that MY father's heart will never beat again


Details | Sonnet | |

Temporary Home

 
They’ve traveled from one house to another.  
Some may say they’re strong enough to go on 
Without a woman to call their mother. 
Attachment is pointless, soon to be gone.  
 
Another house that will never be home.  
Little children crying themselves to sleep,
wondering where they will be next to roam. 
All they can do is to hope and to weep. 

Will they love me enough now, I wonder.
Shall I go away or shall I stay here?
At night, I can still hear the loud thunder
of his footsteps drawing so very near. 

Though I may never find my one true home,
For love, I’ve found- I’m no longer alone.


Details | Lyric | |

The Things You Wish You Could Erase

Sitting on the edge of the bridge
Holding unto that bottle of beer
The same beer that he drank 
The night he killed those people
Flashback in his brain
Gripping unto the bottle
nearly breaking it
hes sitting behind the wheel
Picks up the beer bottle 
Takes another sip
He sees the car
But gently closes his eyes
The women slams on her breaks
Her son in the back seat
The cars crash
Her car rolls down the hill
His car slamming into 
The side of bridge gates
The gates holding him steady
He gently steps out of his car
Seeing the smoke 
A gray car laying in the river
Below the bridge hes standing on
He runs down there 
Running through the water
the top of the car barely noticable
He helps the young women out
Not knowing about the little boy
In the back seat
She yells
"my son... my son"
She points to the vehicle
She takes her last breathe
Lays there helplessly
The man drags the little boy out of the car
A scratch on his forhead
Not breathing at all
The man cries
Trying to wake the kid up
Knowing they are both up in heaven
He vanishes
Several years later
He sits on the bridge
Holding the bottle
Has a child of his own
A wife of his own
Waiting at home for him
His son an hour before 
Wanted to walk to the bridge
With him
But the man just said no
The young boy just stayed home
His father never came back
They found him 
Floating in the same river
The women and her son were in

~Dedicated to Tommy~


Details | Verse | |

Melancholy Memory



Distant memory of a fading twilight, a winter afternoon so vivid. outside your cabin a jasmine in full bloom and inside...dripping blood, your pale face. one by one your words, those last words you could speak a whisper in my ears "Grow up son!" I have grown up Dad, from that very moment I can tread on sorrow, look at me. But every twilight, before it fades away whisper softly to me your last words. =========000=========


Details | Free verse | |

Work

Work.
Toil.
The pain I put in the ground.
For such a precious thing.
Corn. 
The family enjoys their meal.
They plant their leftover kernels.
And wait for me to tend to them.
Work. 
An endless cycle in which happiness is born.


©Demand4poetry
21 February 2013


Details | Free verse | |

left alone

           
         
         Now I am left alone with tears ~

         with all shared may sadness cease
         the darkness of loss as fears increase
         your heart wants to hold on for hope
        

          losing the one expected never ready 
           going through acceptance you think
          until time stands still and life does cease 
       
           Now I am left alone with tears ~
            
          every thought now to late to speak
            all you thought you knew you didn't
          when death comes swift no real preparation

         How long will this hurt one can only wonder 
          The tears fall hard , the tears fall alone    
           saying goodbye forever your gone .
               
           
          

          


Details | Free verse | |

Cuddle Babies Replay Memory

I remember the day Trixie died,
Sinbad staring out upon her grave.
No crying, just day after day, homage.

I couldn’t stand seeing the pain,
Nothing I did, petting, holding,
Could bring him away from the grave.

So down to the pet store I drove
Hoping for a partner to please
And found a pair of cuddles, babies

Arms wrapped together in play
One black one orange which should it be?
Orange like Sinbad or black?

But how could I take one from another
Leave another hole, so black and orange
Babies two, drew Sinbad back over

To sleep the peaceful sleep of cuddles
Warmth from another, held like a mother
Or held like a father, Sinbad was mine

Once more we could live in happy cheer
Death deserted from our midst
When the wonder of youth appeared.


Details | Ballad | |

PICCANINNY DAWN

The old man and his grandson viewed 
A barren bladeless ground. 
When to his left the young lad's eye 
Saw bleached bones scattered 'round. 
'Twas more than one beast's bones that lay 
There exposed to the sun. 
It seemed more like a battlefield 
Where only death had won. 
 
The old man saw the young lad wince, 
He reined in close behind. 
As memories of what took place 
Came flooding through his mind. 
A century turned, but not his luck, 
For rains had failed again. 
He slowly watched the dams dry up 
While cattle died in pain. 
 
A little water still remained 
Though sought by feral stock. 
Some brumbies which came down at dawn 
Still often used the block. 
In good times no one cared that much, 
But not so any more. 
The young lad's dad and this old man 
Both knew what lay in store. 
 
A high log fence closed off the dam, 
The timber they had sawn. 
Suspended gate it lay in wait 
For piccaninny dawn. 
Then as the last mare ambled through 
Wood gate it dropped like lead. 
A wood rail race seemed their escape, 
But death lurked there instead. Their capital had all dried up, 
No cash for lead and gun. 
To execute the feral stock 
Took knife and old man's son. 
With legs astride the wood rail race 
Son grimaced as he drew 
That blade of death 'cross jug'lar vein, 
Then slapped the victim through. 
 
Each fleet foot spirit faltered there 
A hundred yards away, 
While blazing eyes showed fear of death, 
Mouths gave a weakened neigh. 
Then one by one their weak frames fell 
Onto the dusty ground. 
The racing hearts of those poor beasts 
Then gave their final pound. 
 
The slaughter did not save the stock 
For all the dams went dry. 
It fin'ly broke the old man's son, 
He watched the grown man cry. 
All this the old man told the lad, 
The picture was now drawn. 
On why his dad then took his life 
One piccaninny dawn. 

The young lad then took from his head
his father's sweat stained hat
And as he wiped the tears away
He said, Gramps thanks for that."
I'd always had my doubts you see
About the way Dad died,
But now I know the truth at last
I'll wear this hat with pride.


Details | Villanelle | |

Old Age at Home

You are one issue, born  out of my  tissue
be blessed with all the Glories and beauties of life
peace, happiness and  success I wish you

Remember still I was thirty and just born you
Parted  love and left  our only love sign, my wife  
You are one issue, born  out of my  tissue 

To render my duties, you sacrifice young  beauties too
As I ignored my youth for you childhood should not strife
peace happiness and  success I wish you

Old  old man’s burden on shoulders of old man new
Medicines , health drinks, bills and dippers  in rife
You are one issue, born  out of my  tissue

an overdose of medicine can be  fatal I knew
my nerves tender and lying there a knife
peace happiness and  success I wish you

Thought , experience, joys and tasks just like a dew
Just being and breathing feeling the bliss is true life
You are one issue, born  out of my  tissue
peace happiness and  success I wish you


Details | Free verse | |

Never So Gracious

A full moon night to my delight what is so wrong with doing what's right nothing is right after so long no use in complaining time to move on The Dream Water one day might take me away farther from the comfort of familiarity I float on my back then shut my eyes my body now sinking into ocean arms open wide Now swallow your son back to his nature when he is no longer needed to stay here the next generation are dooming themselves they need my experience to guide them through hell Why should I bother on my own, I strive through I turn my back on the thought of bothering to save you alone in this world my, is it spacious I'm finally smiling, never so gracious.


Details | Haiku | |

What People Were and What People Are

People were
Many things.
Strange or not

People were
Different and
Odd and fun.

People were
Monsters but…
That’s not all

People were
And still are
Strange and odd.

People are
People. For
life is life. 

Yet not.
Not is lies.
Truth seeps from

Every mouth
Lies, lies, lies
Move, move, move

But somehow
Lies prevail.
Lies are life.

Lies are death.
Lies are homes.
Lies are pain.

Lies are truth.
Yet somehow.
Truth prevails.

Truth is life.
Truth is death.
Truth is home.

Truth is pain.
Truth is lie.
Truth is that.

Lies will die.
Lies will cease.
Nevermore.

Truth will live.
Truth will be.
Forever.


Details | Ballad | |

DAD

DAD....

If only we could have you back dad
Just for one more day
To hold you in our arms once more
Before you went away

To tell you how we love you
How we know you loved us too
How no man in this world
Will ever take the place of you

Dad you were our anchor
Our rock, our shining knight 
The man we all depend upon 
And love with all our might 

Always we will picture you
Sitting in your chair
Coffee, paper, football...
How we wish you were still there

Whenever you were told
Another grandchild’s on the way
The frown upon your face 
Spoke the words you’d never say

But when each newborn grandchild
In your loving arms was placed
The look of unconditional love 
Was there upon your face

Precious memories linger
And tears will gently flow
For the granddad with the sweets
For the Granddad who never said no

Always there for each of us
You always made us smile
And knowing we were happy
Seemed to make your life worthwhile

You filled our lives with happiness
We filled your heart with pride
But now we walk this unknown path
Without you by our side 

Those who never met you
Will feel they know you too
For part of you will live in us
In everything we do

Forever we will miss your voice
Your laugh, your smiling face
Forever we will miss the dad
We never will replace

It’s hard to let you go dad
For we never said goodbye
Now you’re an Angel in God’s Heaven
High above the sky

But sometimes when we’re all alone
And feel all hope is gone
I know we’ll hear you whisper
"Kids just smile...and carry on”...


We love you dad...
Always have...
Always will...
xxxx


Details | Rhyme | |

An Era gone

An Era Gone.

An era gone, what's it about?
This life as folk move in and out
And Mum and dad now they're gone too
To be recharged then start anew
A funny dance this life it be
Dancing on eternally.

Yes life it be a complex tale
wrote on the screen of here and now
Brief images just dancing by
Their aim, to make one wonder why
For man can never be like beast
Who happy be, yet know the least.

So deep within my core I feel
A stream that flows and always will
There's spring, then summer, Autumn too
And then the winter. Start anew
So round and round and round it goes
Forever on the river flows.

So me, I see old mum and dad
Reunited, happy, glad.
within a garden filled with splendor
Together oh so loving, tender
As they wait once more to come on down
As the circle keeps on turning round.

2000 Socrares.


Details | Ode | |

Daddie, Dadi, Dad-dy

It was just around mid-morning
I recall exactly what I was doing
The feeling felt all too familiar
The vibe was peculiar
I had that unmistakable hunch
I guessed what was nigh, the crunch
My phone rang, not once but twice
I was tempted to let it beep thrice
But nay, not on this day, not today
The news that came crushed my Sunday
Dad had passed on, Dad was no more
I cried not but my heart tore and felt sore
My life had instantaneously changed
A novel void had just been created
Mum would be all alone
Save for six sons loving her to the bone
We will not despair but hang together
Duty bound to take care of our mother

It’s a sad sight to see the family deteriorate
But dad's life gave us something to emulate
He granted us, his children a chance in life
He always was very faithful to one wife
He taught us well till the age of seventy three
Now who will be the new root for our family tree?
We have uncles and aunts, cousins and nieces
But no one to properly anchor the jumbled pieces
Without him, we are but lost and fragmented
We are like a team dismayed and all so disjointed
We’re gradually losing a generation
That’s why I cry for my true champion
My hero, my idol, role model, my icon
Dad, there is nothing that I wouldn’t do
Just to spend another day with you


Details | Lyric | |

Im Sorry

I hope you remember all of the bad things you have done so far
I hope you still have the chance to fix them 
Im sorry it took me forever to write this letter to you
Ive been meaning to save you from what your about to become
For some reason i cant get a grip on it
I dont know what i want to say
I dont know how to help you
Im about to tell you about some of the things you are about to do
Right now your 16
Right now you are sitting on your bed listening to music
Reading a book on your favorite band
Smoking that cigarette
That will soon get you into all the other things that causes more problems for you
Try to avoid the guy you are about to let into your life
Remember that your not allowed to talk to strangers
Remember your mom told you that when you were 7
Its about time you listen to her
You will meet a girl
And you will end up hurting her
Dont take her to that club 
Where your band is about to play
Your not good at singing
And your bass playing still needs some work
Dont embarass yourself
It lowers your self esteem
And you will try to committ suicide
Multiple times
But dont worry 
It doesnt work
So stop trying to 
Kill yourself
Remember the night when you ran away
And went to go live with your aunt
Yea...
Shes about to kick you out
Look under your bed
You will find 500 dollars
You put it there when you were young
You forgot 
Thats why im writing you
Remember it
Take it and use it wisely
Dont use it on the drugs 
Dont use it on the beer
Use it towards a better future
So then i dont have to write this letter again.

12-13-12


Details | Ballad | |

A child weeps for his Father

Oh Father,
Why have you forsaken me?
Why have you died without taking me?

Hereby I kneel,
Bitterly weeping with painful lament.
Your blood is pouring as a waterfall
All over the spleen of my hands,
And you've left me with just a gun by my side. 

Oh I am alleged with despair,
In this winter cold,
This war that never ceases to dotage,
Neither will give up its greed for more.
I would rather wait until the guards come
Who are guarding the bodies of the fallen
To shoot me in the head forevermore,
Rather than run for my life
Because I am not afraid,
To die in this God-forsaken world.

The gun that awaits by your side,
I eagerly feel to point it at the enemy,
All sorts of thoughts,
Agitating through my mind.

What shall it be? 
Should I avenge my father's death,
Or should I run for the sake of my life?
I'm to young to die,
But that doesn't stop me.
For I loved my Father,
And now I'm left with no one by my side. 

The guards enter,
I grab the gun with agitation,
With drops of sorrow coming forth from my eyes,
Dropping on the gun as the rain falls upon the sun,
My semblance covered with sorrow and wrath.

I shot at the enemy,
But I was shot first,
And as Christ was nailed,
I fall.

And hereby I lie down,
looking up the sky forsaken and forlorn,
blood pouring forth from my chest,
until my blood touches the dust of the earth,
I drop one more tear,
before I die,
And hereby I can finally rest,
with you, Father by my side.


Details | Rhyme | |

Eternal Breath

Eternal Breath

Each time I laugh out loud           
I feel a little cloud
Because as my breath exhales from me
I hope it’s not lost in eternity.

When you pull a face you know
From your parents you did grow
We take on some of their ways
Be it from genes or length of days.

Is that smile from mum or dad?
Or the ancestors we had
Each one passed on their last breath
None really lost in death.

For the last breath that you breathe
Is the one that will not leave
I kissed you dad as you passed away
That tearful and such heartfelt day.

But dad as I kissed you 
I inhaled your dying breath
But you know you live in me
It was not the end in death
 
Your last breath you did leave
I breathe it now and know
That when my time is here
My eternal breath will flow.
 
My dying breath I leave
For my sons their lives to lead
Each breath that we all take 
Through each journey that we make.

From where our seed began
The birth of earthling man
That first created breath
Is eternal, not stilled by death.

© GG 8/11/2013


Details | Lyric | |

Here Is Gone

Ever thought of something so much
That when you wake up it just automatically
Crawls into your brain cells
Shoots them with laser beams
Until they explode 
And that’s the only thing you have left to think of
Because everything else is fried
Ever wish you could go back and change that night
Wish that you wouldn’t have left her side
That you would have just listened to your heart 
Instead of your gut
Instead of that little voice that echoes
In the back of your head
Ever wished that you wouldn’t be reading this poem
That everything could be like your dreams
Like a family who gets along
Like having a famous relative
Dreaming that you had a better life
More money to spend
More bass guitars to buy
Less drama
Then you find this special someone
Who you can really relate to
And you never want to let them go
But somehow they slip through your fingers
Then your life crumbles 
Falling down like the rain in a thunderstorm
Wishing you could change everything
But you just start over
And try to move on
And somehow end up at the beginning all over again



Details | Lyric | |

heart shaped box

Sitting cross legged on the floor
He pulls out the heart shaped box from underneath his bed
Opening the top and laying it on the floor
He looks inside the heart shaped box
Finding old pictures
Broken memories
And regrets of his own
He looks through the pictures
Gasping when he finds what he's been looking for
An old picture of him as a child
Glaring at the picture 
He sees an old man in the background
Bringing back horrible memories
Of the old man beating him
The old man wasn't old
But acted old
he quickly shuts the box and puts it underneath his bed
His mother walks up the stairs
"ready ?" she asks
He gets up on his two feet and walks downstairs with her
They gather there things
And walk out to the vehicle
She slams the door and starts the car
The boy sits in the seat and watches the view
As there driving by
The reached the destination
They both get out of the car
she holds a tissue in her right hand
The young boy walks up the stairs 
He sees a whole bunch of people
Standing around a coffin
The old man's funeral
The boy walks up to the casket
Stares at the old man
The boy touches the old man's hand and smiles


Details | Free verse | |

In My Community

Our Ancestors fought to the death,
Just so we can live a brighter day,
So before you light up that blunt of meth,
Think about what you’re giving away,
It was a glad day in history when Obama rose to victory,
The first black president was all we knew,
Dark skin is in!
Haven’t you heard?
That even in our community, 
You can get burned,
It’s a sad day when people would rather stay home and “Crank That Amber Cole”,
Than get up and run to a poll,
In our community,
Rockin’ Luis V is better than having a college degree,
And teen pregnancy is not only a trend,
But the single motherhood that follows should end,
Young girls learn of a wonderful prince to take them away,
Nothing should change thought their mothers prince didn’t stay,
And as the tears fade away,
She grows stronger every day,
In our community,
Fighting is no longer a word,
You argue with someone and shots are heard,
Girls showing places the sun don’t show,
So how do they expect the community to grow?
Where love is a figment of imagination,
Making a young child question her creation,
Young mothers would rather buy the iPhone 5,
Then satisfy her baby’s cries,
While her new man’s eye,
Wander up another girl’s thighs,
In our community,
Where #team dark skin vs #team light skin,
Makes others not love the skin they’re in,
Love, lust, hate, and trust,
Giving a rose on Valentine’s Day is no longer a must, 
Where bad is good and good is bad,
Who would think to see their grandmother sad?
Her hurt and pain,
Shows how our community has lost everything her parents fought to gain.


Details | Blank verse | |

Mirror

As mirrors shatter,
so have I.
As hearts shatter,
so have I,
but when shattered mirror and shattered heart meet,
the brokenness can no longer need deny.

As shards of reflection fall to the ground
I try to catch pieces of battered childhood.
As silence engulfs a tearless child, no uttering of a sound,
slips away from hidden memories all that is good.
Her hands are cut and tears of scarlet fall
to a floor that felt no tears where love had once stood.

As dust and ashes cover wounds bleeding,
so has her mind done to her heart.
As it covers all evidence of someone her silent screams heeding
of a father so unexpectedly from her life depart
the light bursts into her mourning soul,
the mirror an image of her life and joy apart.


Details | Sonnet | |

Daddy Lied

Daddy lied to his sweet little girl,
wiping a tear and a golden curl.
"You won't die" he lied, in anguished pain,
Kissing her face again and again.


"Don't Cry Daddy, it will be okay"
She said. "Just hold my hand and pray"
Daddy saw the doctor shake his head "No".
Then, he knew it was her time to go.

She loved him with a weak final smile,
"Lay in bed with me a little while."
He climbed in bed and held her tight,
praying hard to save her precious life.

Soon she fell into lasting sleep,
leaving behind the world to weep.




A normal old sonnet, for the beautiful lies contest.


Details | I do not know? | |

For Men Everywhere One Billion Rising

1 Billion Rising.

For Men Everywhere.

Stop! Listen! Think! Act!

Stop!

Stop the abuse!

Of grand-daughters,
colleagues,
daughters,
girlfriends,
partners,
mothers,
sisters,
nieces,
wives,

all women.

Listen!

Listen to the voices!

Of grand-daughters,
colleagues,
daughters,
girlfriends,
partners,
mothers,
sisters,
nieces,
wives,

all women.

Think!

Think of how you treat,

grand-daughters,
colleagues,
daughters,
girlfriends,
partners,
mothers,
sisters,
nieces,
wives,

all women.

Act!

Act now to change yourself!

Stop! Listen! Think! Act!

The violence,
the abuse,
the rape,

stops when you stop,

the violence,
the abuse,
the rape.

Stop! Listen! Think! Act!

The violence,
the abuse,
the rape,

is perpetrated by,

grand-fathers,
colleagues,
boyfriends,
husbands,
nephews,
brothers,
partners,
fathers,
uncles,

men,

all men.

Stop! Listen! Think! Act!

The violence,
the abuse,
the rape,

stops when us men stop,

The violence,
the abuse,
the rape,

today, now.

Stop! Listen! Think! Act!


Details | Rhyme | |

My Dad

My dad passed away when I was nine
That it didn't make me feel fine
I have pictures of him
Which always makes me grin
I have some memories
But not so many
I miss him everyday and night
Which I think of him with delight
He was way to young
For him to be gone
It's been so long ago since he left us so dear
I love him always and true
Theres no other dad like him so true


Details | Free verse | |

Regret

Regret

I regret many things in my life.
Not been able to spend more time with my wife the love of my life.
I regret not been able to stay close to my mom and my dad, they were 
All I had, my childhood memory, that yellow truck my dad got me.
How wonderful life is when you are young, when you try to reach up to the sky.
Everything seems so tall that was my challenge to grow old. 

I regret not been there when my dad died. He loved me the most out of us nine!
I took care of him, helped him when he was weak, he used to tell me I don’t want to die I can’t leave. You are still young; I said: “hey are you serious dad”? “I have three kids!...I'm 53"
But I know he was too soft. He hated the thought of dying, he loved been with us just to make sure we're ok.

I regret when my mom died. She still bring tears to my eyes, my heart still bleeds
At the memory of her smile. When I need a back scratch she had the roughest hands
House work and cooking that she didn’t mind at all. I loved her all my life and when she got very sick she became like a child. Talking about why she can’t see in color any more?

It’s difficult to explain to a sick person especially your mom, you breakdown before you even start to tell her.

I regret when my wife fell sick with the big C, I questioned every little thing, to me I was always right in doing the right thing. How and why kept popping up every time I wondered
This thing happened too fast, it took me by surprise.
I blamed myself for not listening, when she complained about her agonizing pain, I thought it was just the same.

I regret many things in my life.
I thought If I can get a second chance, I would change it all again!


Details | Verse | |

The Family

The couple had a little girl 
and she was two years old
a pretty little thing she was 
although just getting bold

she loved her parents very much 
and let them know each day
she sometimes got in trouble when 
she tried new games to play

The threesome went out frequently 
to check out happy places
she could not help but notice 
a whole world of different faces

the child saw everything as new 
and saw it with great pleasure
her parents let her know a lot 
that she was their great treasure

All who saw them in their walks 
knew they were very happy
her folks would talk about her acts
even though some were sappy

The family took a camping trip
to live as days of yore
Her father thought he knew the best
to eat from country floor

while she slept soundly through the night
her Mom and Dad had died
the mushrooms dad had picked for lunch
were poisonous when fried

When she woke up she wondered why
her mom and dad were still
she yelled and cried till she was hoarse
but could not warm the chill

Her parents played a lot of games
this one she did not know
her mom and dad would not wake up
she had nowhere to go

She cried herself to sleep that night
tired out from all her tears
she felt her hunger growing now
first time in her two years

She did not wander far away
her thirst had made her weak
she did not like ths game at all
some comfort she did seek

They found them there after some days
they did not need to check
the little girl had died as well
her arms round daddys neck

Andrew B. Totten



Details | Free verse | |

Howl at the Moon

When she was 8,
You howled at the moon,
and caught the attention of the men in blue.
You steered across the line,
You argued, You spat
until the night sky faded into dawn,
and they deemed you worthy
of wandering home. 
But in those hours of darkness,
she sat with an empty space on the blanket
looking up at the stars as fireworks
burst around her and 
asked why you weren't there.

When she was 17,
You howled at the moon. 
It was late and you had learned,
So you hung your head out the window
while the rain stung against your skin.
You taunted a cop,
You laughed, you puked,
As she fearfully drove you home.
In tears, she declared that she 
could not leave you there alone.
You were her dad. 
She stayed. She watched.
She wanted to be there...for you.

When she was 19,
You bought her some beer.
It was late. There were friends. 
You felt like a kid again, partying with the crowd,
And you were a hit, the provider, the crazy one.
They rallied around as you slurred your words.
You laughed. They laughed. She laughed.
This was the way to have fun.
You explained that this was not 
her first rodeo.
She was going to do what she was going to do
and you were going to be along at her side
As she howled at the moon.

When she was 23,
she howled at the moon.
Her skirt was short. Her top was low.
She danced. She drank.
And so did you. 
You were guiding her, you said.
It was just good ol' fun.
Except it wasn't fun
when they pulled her out 
of the mangled steel
and covered her face and shook their heads,
And now you howl at the moon,
deeply, sorrowfully, howl at the moon.

 


Details | Rhyme | |

tying hard not to cry

Dear Lord
 i'm trying hard not to cry
but the tears are  starting to well up in my eyes
 13 years ago my dad had to go away
I was not alloud to go to say goodbye
I was not allwed to to go and grieve
for  23 hours earlier a new baby I did recive
if I could build  a stair way straight to heavens' door
i'd do it just so I could see my dad just once more
I am happy for my son
his 13th birthday
his big special day
but it does not make the pain go away
I am doing all I can to stay strong
and memories of dad in my heart live on
I will keep smiling and do all that I can do
for I know my dad will want a party  in heaven for James and my nephew Joseph too
I believe  he's in the most beautiful place  with you Amen.

MT 5:4 Blessed are those who mourn,
    for they will be comforted.


Details | Imagism | |

Something good

The smell of coffee: hot and bitter in the cold winter night 
With the rhythm in the left hand and the rhyme in the right, 
He wrote a poem in his secret pocket,
A wistful star like a speedy rocket
Ready to leave this planet intense blue
In search of other traces of life anew.
He remembered after mother had died,
In the cold touch ,stalagmites and stalactites cried.
Father and son felt a strong taste for sweets.
As in the sunset, the blind boatman meets
With an awkward touch the water`s ring
But generally they needn`t to eat anything
For a while they rested an extraordinary team:
Father insistently (sometimes boring) told him
All his recollections:childhood,war and the rest…
All muscles and teeth pressed hot, like ice on the crest.
The son learnt them by heart, and later
He would retell them to father, even better…
One was on duty to wash the dishes;
The other tried to follow his wishes…

Their only joy was to read and read and read…
One had to cook at home ,and to bake the bread
In a bread factory:He was happy even when he was sad.
He could recognize each bread: All his loafs were bad.
He was like Chaplin in “New Times”.
He was speaking in figures and rhymes.  
He wore a monk beard and father was much more younger.
Looking through the window: grey hunger and anger …

At the weekend, he used to ask his father 
About the favourite meal, but rather
He would find a surprise the next day.
Each day was windy winter and grey…

Father had the same touching answer:”Something good”.
In the strange interference ,water and fire ,one was rude.
Solitude  was their common friend stealing in like a lizard,                                       
But, in the afternoon they played sweeping their courtyard.
They had leaves in autumn and snow in the winter.
The sky was grey without sun, the clouds were bitter.
Father was counting the leaves, in the old horizon
The son was painting the days ,in the cold horizon.


The war with the falling down leaves fighting hard 
With red faces like an inveterate drunkard .
And years after his father met his final hope,
The son would stop in front of  the sweets shop , 
Ready to buy recollections as Christmas tree sweets.


Details | Lyric | |

Father

Looking through his old pictures
Him as a child
His dad was at an early age
He wishes for more then just an image
Closing his eyes
Trying to picture his dad
Where is his dad now?
Wishing to see beyond the face
A tear falls unto the picture
Running down unto his lap
He longs for more then 
just a word upon a letter
His dad has written him
Longing for his fathers existence
For the relationship he wished he had
He awaits for the next letter
He never receives
Falling upon his knees
Tears Crawling down his face
Wanting to know his father better



Details | Free verse | |

The death and re-birth of Robin Williams

Waiting for you is like waiting for death
I called and asked if you would nurse me
When I fell down and injured by back

Waiting for you is like waiting for my father
I sit by the door with hope in my heart 
In my mind you call and say I need you
But the call is never answered

Waiting for you is like waiting for a cure
I treat myself and take my medicine like a good boy
But my arms and hands are too short

Waiting for you is like waiting for god
I listened as some else was abused and abandon 
I say that we have a lot in common
But she said let me put my arms around you
Because god has not forgotten about you


Details | Epitaph | |

How Hard Could it Be Part 2

How hard could it be on a beautiful Saturday?

Brian calls us, “Hurry up. They are taking Dad to the hospital.”

Brian meets me at the door, ”Dad didn't make it.”

I scream, “Oh my God.” I crumple into a ball just outside the hospital door.

I yell, “Why, my God, why, my Dad?” I turned purple (that's what Brian said.)

I compose myself; I get up and we walk into that little room.


How hard could it be to say goodbye to my heart?

He's lying there, a tube sticking out of his mouth.

I touch him, still warm, I say, “I'll miss you.”

They leave, I turn back, I touch him, still warm, I say,

“I love you a million.” I walk out, tough as nails, quaking on the inside.

In my head I hear, “You can do it Den.” I feel a hug and a kiss on the cheek.


How hard can it be to bury my Dad?

Sunday, we all meet at mom's, we talk, we hug, we cry.

Monday, we all meet at mom's; we talk, we hug, we cry.

Tuesday, the wakes, double dread. I stand there, tough as nails, quaking on the

inside. “You can do it,” he says to me.

Wednesday, the funeral, all the flowers, over 280 people saying goodbye to my

Dad. I hear him still, “You can do it.”

Thursday, I sit here writing this poem, tears run down my face. “You can do it,”

he is saying to me.

Friday, we will bury my Dad's ashes; a copy of this will be put in that little

wooden house-shaped box. We will cry; I know it. His spirit will surround us

with his love. He'll give us all hugs and kisses all around.


How hard can it be to go on?

“My God, Jesus, please help me.”

I hear Jesus saying, “Trust in me and your burdens will be lifted.”

“Dad, why did you leave us so soon?”

I hear Dad saying,” It was my time and I was ready to go home. Don't cry for me.

Celebrate my life and have a party. I will always be sitting next to you, Den. You

can do it.” Hugs and kisses all around.


Thank you, Jesus, my heavenly father. I trust in you and praise your name.

And thank you Dad for your unconditional love,unselfish support and your

heartfelt hugs and kisses. I`ll be okay. See you soon. I love you.


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

We have held you as you cried

We have held you as you cried........................


Hi Mum it's your darling daughter,
Looking down from up above.
Just to tell you that I'm doing fine,
And to send you all my love.

Tell Dad to dry his tears,
It was no ones fault i know.
I will always be his little girl,
As I watch my brothers grow.

Mum, I miss my goodnight kisses,
I miss your tender touch.
I miss those bedtime stories,
I miss you all so much.

But do not worry, I'm not alone,
I've Grandad at my side.
Even though you haven't seen us both,
We have held you as you've cried.

We have watched you bringing flowers,
Seen you wipe those tears away.
I will always be your little girl,
Now and every breaking day.


Details | I do not know? | |

My Life Story - Part 1 - The Early Years

Well I was born a bouncin' baby boy,

On June 23rd in Danville Illinois. ( Ill-i-noy - the s is silent)

 

My mom will never forget that special date,

Back in the year of '68.

 

Another birth in September of '70,

Ending in heart-wrenching tragedy.

 

My sister would've been my friend and pal,

But she didn't make it through the birth canal.

 

I would've been her big brother just two years older,

Mom was heart broken - didn't get to hold her.

 

Trying to write this is making me cry,

I can't stop thinking "Why God? Why?

 

Why did you take this bundle of love?

Did you need another angel above?

 

Well something good happened in August '72,

My mom married the only dad I ever knew.

 

I may not be of his own flesh and blood,

But he still called me "Son" and "Bud".

 

My dad adopted me and gave me the family name.

He treated us all one and the same.

 
- Love you mom ! -

- In loving memory of my sister (08/25/1970) also

- In loving memory of my dad (07/08/1947 - 01/16/2005)

I started this poem with the intentions of making it part of a

My Life Story collection of poetry. I'm not sure if I will continue

on with this intention or not. Should I decide to continue on with

My Life Story, the next stage will be concerning my childhood - and

the problems I went through as a young child.


Details | Free verse | |

Dear Dad

Dear Dad 				
Why don’t you love me? 
The small brown eyed girl asked her father as he beat her at night,
 then with a smile in the morning he’d scoop her up in his arms to play.
Why don’t you love me? 
The bigger brown eyed girl asked her father as he walked out and
never came back.
Why don’t you love me? 
The young brown eyed girl asked her boyfriend of two years,
As he walked out the same door her father did eight years before.
Never to return.
Why didn’t you love me?
The older brown eyed girl asked her father at his funeral.
As she leaned over the edge of his casket and kissed him gently on the forehead,
Tears running down her cheeks.
Why couldn’t you love me? 
The oldest brown eyed girl asked as she lays Jasmine’s and roses
On her father’s grave.
Only a row down from her old boyfriend’s,
With love that never dies.
And her question is answered in the wind, 
As the answer is whispered in her heart.
How could you love me?
If you couldn’t love yourself?


Details | Lyric | |

Inside the Membrane

The pain I feel inside 
Can be derived from my dad pride
I sit alone at night
There is this emptiness that is
The squandering of time
pondering what life will be like
Who knew that twenty-one
Would be More bumps and lumps than fun
I want to dump this chump
Standing in front of the mirror
Waiting till its clearer
This Brings a sobering effect
Over thinking each step
It is like I'm playing freeze tag
With these mundane demons
And They always keep me in check
Because I cant see them
I have been contained and constrained
I complain of chest pains
Till my veins pop off like champagne
Bruce Banner's a freight train
Going insane in the membrane

So should I smoke weed then
To cope with this moping season
Cause my yoke is heavy
and dope seems dope for lots of reasons
Even though I do know
What the verse says in Ephesians
"Do not get drunk on wine...
Instead be filled with the spirit"
This is my one beacon
That's give me hope when I hear it
Its a choice for heathens
Like me, to write our own lyrics
Since death has been beaten
And no longer need to fear it
His love is infinite


Details | I do not know? | |

A TRIBUTE TO MOM AND DAD

A TRIBUTE TO DAD AND MOM
Dear Dad and Mom,
Both of you have been an inspiration in our lives 
It will remain like that forever. 
Dad, even when you left us waiting patiently for Mom to join you on that heavenly 
shore, 
She gave us the best with no frown. 
This may be a joyous moment for you but heartache for us. 
I didn’t have a slight feeling of sorrow when you left us.
I was too small to understand what it meant to lose someone as precious as you 
but Mom did?? 
But she didn’t show us how she felt but drowned in it for eighteen long years…..
I really miss Mom now but her presence is always felt. 
It’s not so easy to digest the fact 
That now I stand alone on the face of the earth thinking that I have everybody 
beside me. 
Nobody can replace the love and care that was rendered by both of you. 
Hats off to both of you because your love was incomparable and unique. 
Though I didn’t experience much of your love Dad, 
I did experience enough of moms that I truly know that it’s unique. 
Love you both with no regret. 
R.I.P 


Details | Lyric | |

Drifting Mainly

You belong to me mate 	 ( Intro )
And that be that!
Get on board
And grab your hat!

The ship was aghast at its new passenger	( Verse )
Like disdain for the lives that they now left behind,
Newcomers were scarce 
And they never would last
But I held up my chin nice and high.


The bloke who took me screamed	( Pre-chorus )
“Mop up the deck we’ve got things to do!” 
But I said sir, 
I’m just a boy and don’t know what’s to do.

And he said		( Chorus )
“Drifting mainly
Sailin the shores
Taking what’s mine 
And leaving what’s yours
Cause you know, we ain’t dead yet.”

Taking the seas for more than eight moons
We found islands and loot
That was bigger than most.
The taste of sea air 
With its wind in my hair
Took me away to this new life I lead.

After mopping the deck 
He grabbed my hand and screamed
 “Steer this ship boy!”
But I said sir,
I’m just a lad and don’t know where to go.

So the crew yelled	( Chorus )
“Drifting mainly
Sailin the shore
Taking what’s mine 
And leaving what’s yours
Cause you know, we ain’t dead yet.”

Surprising to me 
Was my unshaven face
The captain looked on 
And smiled with grace,
We stopped at a place 
Where the women were loose and didn’t mind
If we took a peak.

He said “Now you’re a man so let’s get on that boat,
We got places to be and some people to rope,
So grab that sword and drop that mop
Cause you’re no longer a boy in my eyes.”

I practiced the duel with the men in the crew
The captain took eye to my devilish pride,
And he took me aside and said 
 “Even in death I’m gonna miss you boy 
But don’t let it strike you 
Or kill your spirits
Cause even time can beat out the Grim.”

Then in the darkness came fire and screams,
Our vessel had stopped after fourteen years,
The crew fought hard and beat most of the men
But now, my Captain was dead.

We took the new ship watching ours sink deep
Saying goodbye to our drowning escape,
The crew turned towards me and asked
“What do we do?” and I smiled,
And they did to.

And we yelled    ( Chorus )
“Drifting mainly
Sailin the shores
Takin what’s mine
And leaving what’s yours
Cause you know, we ain’t dead yet.”


Details | Sonnet | |

A Homecoming


I have spent many hours reflecting on my dad's last earthly days. How he stared silently at the room's far corner, in another place. At times, many visitors filled his crowded hospital room. But my father's eyes were transfixed, his face peacefully consumed. Though he could not speak, I questioned his mesmerizing vision. As I held his hand I knew the answer, God had made His decision. Angels had come for my dad as he quietly faded in that bed. His time of peace had come, but it was the moment I had dread. I wanted Dad to stay with me just one more minute, hour, day. But summer, his favorite season, had come, the time for me to find a way to let him go, Jesus was calling; so I kissed him goodbye through tears. As he took his final breath, a peaceful calm washed over my fears. I stared off into the distance, imagining beautiful angel wings of love, embracing my dad, then flying him to the eternal summer of Heaven above. * This is all true. I held my dad's hand and sang to him as he took his last breath. It may have been angels or my dear grandma coming to take him home. I only know that I felt comforted by my dad's peace. By Rhonda Johnson-Saunders, March 19, 2012 First place in Touched by an Angel contest (Gail Doyle) Eighth place in Emotional Poem Contest (PD)


Details | Narrative | |

How Hard Could it Be Part 1

How hard could it be to take my first step?

“Come to mommy, you can do it.”

“Oh you're home. Hon, look at him go.”

As I take another step, he picks me up.

He hugs me tight but gently and kisses me on the cheek.

I feel so safe, loved and happy. Perhaps that's how it was.

(I really don't remember back that far.)


How hard could it be, my first day at school.

My mom meets me at the front door of the building,

hugs me and says, “How was your first day? Did you have fun today?”

He comes home after a hard day at work and mom says,

“Hi Hon, it was Den’s first day of school.”

He picks me up in his strong arms and says,

“I knew you could do it.” A hug and a kiss on the cheek.


How hard could it be to learn how to drive a car or a truck?

“Den, come with me. Let's take a short ride down the road.”

We both climb up into Dad's blue 1955 Chevy pickup.

He stops on the back road, gets out, comes around and says, “Scoot over. It's

your turn.”

I start the engine, push in the clutch, shift and we start out slowly.

I'm nervous, I speed up, clutch in, shift again.

Oh crap, I shifted into reverse, truck stopped abruptly and backfired.

Dad looks at me, “But you did it.“ He hugs me, a kiss on the cheek.


How hard could it be to go away to college?

I'm so glad she has a phone so I can call my mom and dad.

“Hi Den, how are things going? You've got a B average.

That's great. I knew you could do it. I love you, see you soon.”

“You met a girl? What's her name? Wow, see you soon. I love you”

“You want to marry her? Big step; in Holland? Okay, we love you.”

How hard could it be to have a family?

“Oh, it's a girl. Mireille, that's a nice name.” He hugs me, kiss on the cheek.

“Another girl, Michelle, that's a nice name too.” He hugs me, kiss on the cheek.

“You finally had a boy, Michael, good choice.” Hug and a kiss.

Birthdays, holidays, weekends, visits back and forth, phone calls.

He loves them all, unconditionally. Hugs and kisses all around.


How hard could it be as life goes on?

He watches them grow up, get married and have children.

He loves them all, unconditionally, hugs and kisses all around.

We take short trips and mom and Dad go with us now and then.

We go camping and mom and Dad visit us now and then.

Every time you left, hugs and kisses all around. Always, “See you soon.”


Details | I do not know? | |

teens life in Oakland

*A assignment was due in class. *

Every time a gun shoots
A tree looses its roots
Every time there is bloodshed
Along with it millions of tears are shed
Every time a heart is stabbed
Someone else’s life gets barren
As violence grows
Many more mothers moan
The sounds of destruction
Overpowers the voice of those
Who are innocent
Who suffer with no reason
Who beg for life
Who have heart full of innocence

Why do so much violence?
That the child’s cry cannot be heard
When his father is killed
Why do so much violence?
That a mother moans
Over her child’s dead remains
Why do so much violence
For winning any stupid battle
Which is taking lives
Of people who have wives
And mothers and children

When you can keep calm
Talk things out
Do whatever you can
To keep violence out
Because there is no sin as big as
VIOLENCE


Details | Epic | |

Continuous Suffocation

Your emotionless face makes me sick, all these grudges you hold of stories untold. 
Your horrible voice and terrible choices torture me to to my innermost core, it is unbearable to endure.

Sometimes you fake a smile, only even for a while. Your heartless demeanor could not be any meaner.
Your lies are no suprize as you compromise for a new devise.

You make me want to scream, even in my dreams. I wish you could take a great tumble, so i can take a big shovle...!
You make me go insane, with all this pain. i can hardly breathe when you think you can succeed!


Details | Rhyme | |

DISTANCE BETWEEN FATHER AND SON

I wish dad had been more affectionate
like other fathers who made their sons proud,
guided them through life's long phases 
with the same strength and certitude they had;
I looked at him and saw austerity on his face,
not expressing love for a timid child with a voice without wit.



And the unspoken word created a distance between father and son,
pulling me further and further from him until I felt numb and vain...
I couldn't say to him what my dream was, or what I tried to achieve;  
and rambling from place to place, I became that rolling stone  
kicked by all on a busy road and lying in mud after a hard rain...
I wept in silent rage, he heard it often, but let me grieve! 



Was it his selfish ego...not to let love show without shedding a single tear?
Should love have restrictions...not being equally shared by boys and girls? 
And on every anniversary, that vision of stern father and sad boy returns...
I loved dad and he knew why I hated the way he kept his affection from me,
and instead of getting a hug today, I write an elegy for his tomb under a pine tree;
o father, I wanted to embrace you and honor you by breaking that barrier of fear! 


Details | Kyrielle | |

I cannot help it

Like a gladiator hunts his enemies with swords
I wish I could hound my pains with my words
And dispel my emotions into a chasm
So my mind is freed of these burning flames
Each time I see you exist only in frames.

Every 01.15 that comes makes the impossibility grow
And feeds my mind with sorrows than no one knows
Only you and I know and can tell our stories
That have now become past, but beautiful memories.

You've been gone far away and for so long
I’ve tried to keep my heart still and myself strong
But the void you created seems unendingly unfilled
With vasty of your bequests yet unfulfilled
I can’t help it, but live off the good times we shared.


Details | Free verse | |

This is what i remember

 
This is what I  remember


something sits on my brain
a heavy pile of memories maybe
(lingering still)
freshly brewed strong coffee
mingling with last night's bouillon
the clangs of covers permeating the stillness
wools of sleep tangle the brows in obscure shadows

nothing seems to belong to the past anymore
like the yellow grin of tobacco and warm old arms, reaching
could it be that the youth in you disappeared into me when we embraced?
you know what i mean; laughter flying from your neck

patting my head as I lay, a grown woman on your lap
telling you of things I'd love but cannot seem to bring myself to have
and you smiled, that funny smile, closing your eyes
how drunk I felt laughing with you!
condensing my uncertainties to some foreign 'be well' feeling

and this is what I remember...
dimming lights and pleading eyes
your fingers to my lips gripping into my chest
ah, how I felt deserted then and now,
drowning into losing you

and then you surrendered 
just laid there and broke free
while it rained over my heart and all that was, sank
toppled over but never laid to rest

this is what I will not forget
as memories and loneliness swarm the nights of my days
and I yearn for the warmth of you








Details | Rhyme | |

All White

She's dressed in all white
And for once something feels right

She dreamt of this day
He entire life

The day she would
Become someone's wife

Yet one thing
Is missing from her perfect day

The one thing that proves
It's not perfect in anyway

She doesn't care
If she looks beautiful to anyone

She only wants to ask a 
Certain someone

As she holds a fire helmet
In her hands

She knows no one around
Her understands

She looks down at the the
Helmet and asks what
She wants to know

Daddy does my 
Beauty show?

She waits for an 
Answer but doesn't hear a word

She wonders if
Her daddy heard

She knows this is one
Place her and her daddy are not
Far apart

So she looks deep
Within her heart

She looks and looks
And finally finds the right
Place

Where her and her
Daddy stand face to face

She then asked the question
Daddy does my beauty show?

Sweetheart, do you really
Not know?

Your beauty shows
Every single day

This is something I 
Shouldn't have to say

Your beautiful
Inside and out

So there is nothing
to worry about

If you are scared
To do this without 
Me

I want you to
Know you don't 
Have to be

I'm here in you
Heart

So nothing can tear
Us apart

You are and always
Will be my little
Girl

You will always
Be my world

It doesn't matter
If I'm no where to be
Found

Just know
I'm always around

So on this day
If you are scared
That you are dressed in all white

It's ok 
Daddy's here to
Make things right

I will be beside you
every step of the way

And don't worry
It's here that I 
will stay


Details | Couplet | |

Cancer

Cancer, I hate you with a deep passion
You took my dad not in a timely fashion

My dad was the backbone of our family
His absence left an aching need cavity

He held our family together with prayer
Away from Satan’s snare and hell’s fire

Then one day he was so terrible sick
We thought this must be a silly trick

The doctor said he had not much time
O no the family thought this is a crime

The best father there was down by cancer
Riding on a black horse this hated lancer




For Michael J. Falotico's contest


Details | I do not know? | |

For Anene Booysen 1996 - 2013

Hamba Kahle Anene Booysen! (1996 – 2013)


Dead at 17, brutally raped and left to die,
in the dirt,

 

at a construction site in Bredasdorp.

 

‘horrific’, ‘repulsed’,
‘brutally raped’, ‘shocked’,

 

do these words mean anything,
to anyone,

anymore.

 

Not to Anene Booysen,

 

murdered at 17, brutally raped and left to die,

in the dirt,

 

at a construction site in Bredasdorp.

 

Anene was raped,
savagely mutilated,

 

Her 17 year old body tossed aside,

 

by the hands of men.

 

Men, always men,

 

cowardly, beastly, perverted, twisted men.

 

‘Beastly’, ‘perverted’, ‘twisted’,

 

do these words mean anything,
to anyone,

anymore.

 

Not to Anene Booysen,

 

who now lies cold and dead.

 

How many Anene Booysens will it take,

 

for us,
society,
families,
people,

 

human-beings,

 

and,

 

men, especially men,

 

to excise the ghastly menace,

 

of the heinous capacity that resides,

 

within men,

 

always men,

 

to brutalise, rape, mutilate, and murder.

 

‘Brutalise’, ‘murder’, ‘rape’,

 

do these words mean anything,
to anyone,

anymore.

 

Not to Anene Booysen,

 

murdered at 17, brutally raped and left,

 

to die,

 

in the dirt,

 

at a construction site,

 

in Bredasdorp.

 

 

Anene Booysen
(1996 – 2013)

 

* – Hamba Kahle – “Farewell, Travel Well” in Zulu

 

** – Bredasdorp is a small town near Cape Town, South Africa


Details | Narrative | |

Fond Memories Of My Dad From Dustin

I want to share a few, Fond memories of my dad, With an experience or two, Of the times together we had. He was a carpenter by trade, Just like Jesus used to be, But the full time job with mom he made, Was taking care of me. I remember things we did together, When I was five years old, My first fishing trip, buying my first heifer, And letting me ride a steer in a rodeo. Fixing a racecar up together was fun, It was for me to race someday, Even though it was work that was done, It seemed more like play. It was in April of 2001, When my dad helped me find a steer, I named him Blazer and he was the one, That I thought would bring a winning year. I looked forward to the pick up day to be, When my dad would be breaking in the steer, And it would be just dad and me, Because my mom, of that, she had a fear. Before he had a chance to break her in, He had a heart attack and had to rest, He told me that I’d have to step in, And just try to do my best. I was a little worried and not so sure, If I could even really do this stuff, And since it had always been my dad before, I waited for my dad to guide me when he had strength enough. My dad wanted to help me more but he was too sick, So I tried even harder this time around, And Blazer sure didn’t like the show stick, But I finally got him to walk with me on the ground. And the time came that I knew then, Blazer would be ready for the Auction show, But my dad had another heart attack again, And I realized there was life lesson for me to know. The lesson that I have learned here, Is that sometimes we really do, Take for granted our family will always be there, But you never know when they won’t be able to help you. As the brightest star in the sky, Reminds me of Nana, my dad’s mother, There is now another bright star near by, For dad and the love we shared with each other. Written for Dustin 5/27/2003 Florence McMillian (Flo)


Details | Free verse | |

My lovely dad

It’s with great difficulty I put my pen on this paper.
Struggling as to when and what to begin with.
Learning that life has its way of collapsing 
Our paths down to one: unchangeable, inescapable.
 
A journey of a thousand miles they say begin on a day.
But I guess they forgot to add that the journey also ends on a day.
What day, none of us have a clue.
Reminding me we might not have as much time as we think.

With my dad’s unexpected exit, my greatest solace
Was in the life he led, the testimonies people shared,
The numerous lives he shaped and the legacy he left.
Everyone that had the privilege of knowing him could attest to this.
He life was more of never let anybody leave you without getting better.
	
My dad was, like he will usually say, perfect to a fault.
He was a man that always stood on his integrity.
Even when everybody decided to take the wrong turn,
He remained true to his cause.

He had a unique way of lightening the atmosphere.
And always had the right word to say for every moment
He also helped in calming the storms in so many a lives
So much that there were no more closing hours
As to when visitors came in and out of the house.

His humility reminded of the personality of Jesus.
Spat upon, bared any brunt but never twitched a muscle
Some mistook this for mere weakness
But in it I saw the greatest strength many can’t attain.

He was a loving, caring, quintessential and inspiring dad.
He always believed in me even when I didn’t find any cause to.
He would normally tell me “I know you can do better”.
This nudged me to where I am today.

My dad also was also a lover of God which showed in selfless service to him.
He has been very instrumental in blessing the lives of many, of whom am chief.
Many of his teachings remain indelible in my heart.
We are brethren, what will you be remembered for, saving for the reigning day,
Just to mention a few, keep guiding me through the spontaneities of life.

I can’t help but remember his addiction to education.
He is the one that brought out the pen in me.
Always more than willing till you have caught on.
His love for reading and teaching
Had no level pegging which leaves me with satisfied incompetence.

It’s sickening that I have to pen all he was to me in a few pages.
What of the gifts he gave me, the support he gave me 
And the confidence I had just knowing I could fall back on him
Everyday had its unique and cherished story
Which book will be able to contain such a vast an experience
Just so painful such a journey had to end so soon.

When I consider the life after death
And the rewards that follow for every works done here
Am sure my dad is wreathing in smiles as he accepts his awards.
Giving me a joyous longing of being there one day

I have learned a lot from my dad’s life.
There are always those that will hate and be jealous of you, no matter how good you are.
There are those that will take pleasure on riding on you and would compel you to go a mile
But we should be prepared to go twain.
And the greatest life is a life of sacrifice.

Now I know that true success does not depend on the length of days.
Seeing the shoes my dad left behind just makes me scared.
Am so proud to be your son and I couldn’t have asked for any better.
I hope someday my feet would be worthy to fit in.
To me you are still very much around because you still live deep within my heart.


Details | Rhyme | |

Losing dad

I spoke to my dad just the other day,
little did I know he was passing away.
His body grew tired and weary at best,
It was time for his soul to lay down and rest.
So much time had been lost between us,
It saddens my heart the gap put between us.
I thought of my childhood and the moments we shared,
wishing it back for this I was not prepared.
I drempt about him standing there in my room,
he said I have to go now, I know it's to soon.
I woke up crying sitting up in my bed,
 I knew this was the day, a day I would dread.
I recieved a phone call that afternoon,
they said dad is gone now, his soul left the room.
My teardrops fell like rain falling down,
as I stood there shaking feeling I could drown.
I'll think of him always as I stroll through life,
for the grief that consumes me still cuts like a knife.


Details | Narrative | |

Final Days 2-15-02, 8:00 AM

Well, Pop is resting now.

He didn’t get to go home on Thursday. The Oncologist 
wanted him to have either Hospice or Home Health Care.
                                                                                               
He wouldn’t sign a release for evaluation for services. Mom 
said he was rude to the social worker in charge. I can
imagine. She called last night at 3:00. The nurses said he
 
was raising hell. He woke up disoriented and wouldn’t take 
meds to calm down. He said they were peddling dope. I 
asked him what it was and he said methadone. The nurses
 
laughed a little. I can understand that. He really sounded 
like Pa Dillard. Pa was also very confused in the latter 
stages. When I got there, he thought Mom and I had locked
 
him in a room without anything to eat all day.  Said he was 
starving. Wanted to know why he was in the hospital at 
Archer City, of all places. Kept looking for his cap and pants.
  
Said it was time to go home, to Kamay. He must have 
forgotten he had told me earlier they had sold the house 
and didn’t have a thing to their name. Still can’t find his
 
cap. And now he has a trick leg. It won’t mind him. He tries 
to get up, at least he wants up, and so I help. He can’t 
stand. So he lies back down and tries to make his trick leg
 
go back to bed. I take care of the leg for him and cover him
up as he is no longer hot, but cold and shaking just a little. 
I don’t think Mom will be able to handle him at home.

He has made three references to “taking care of it himself” 
and the Dr. asked Mom if there were any guns at home. Oh 
hell! Are there any stars in the sky? Mom has the key to the 

gun safe. But, does he have another key hidden that she 
doesn’t know about? I don’t know, but he can’t get up to get
a gun anyway. I don’t know where we’ll be when you get here.

Call ahead to find out. Love, Dad,                                                                                                                             Or, brother, as the case may be.


Details | Narrative | |

Purgatory Chasm

The autumn leaves crinkle beneath my feet
Their radiant colors dulled
I see the reds and yellows as vibrant as they were
The last time we came here together.

I hold you in my hands,
The way you held me when I was a child.
Your urn jostles softly as I scale the cliff
To our favorite spot.

I open it up, and look at you one last time.
Bits of bone sprinkled in the ash,
Like the time we came here after the first snow fall,
The defiant leaves of abundant autumn
Refusing to be masked by light dusting.

Off the tip of the rock,
I turn the urn,
You flow out over our favorite hike,
As you would have wanted.
We pass through this trail
One last time.


Details | Free verse | |

As Blind the Moon

Dad sharpened a blade of word
So that it was as sharp as a knife
Mother then open the chest
Until naked like the moon
"Stab the knife!" dad said

I dare not imagine
Blind both eyes of the moon
While night said
Journey still more circular
Even including the dream
Which for me in the form of the blades of walls 
Form a box traps me, huddled
In it, whole time towards morning without
Managed to find a gap like the door was
Since childhood

"Stab the knife!" dad said
When I began to laugh with a mischievous
Imagining the moon began to blind
One of its eye

Mother's chest perfectly naked
And dad stay only one side of the walls
That continues melted

12/25/2012


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

a man I once knew

Walk in and there you are As a picture hanging upon the wall Speechless and not knowing what to say. Our eyes connected and memories came back again. With every memory a tear was cried And another piece of me died. I know you are better off living amongst the stars As an angel protecting us now. I can’t help to think about all you sacrificed for a kid who was not yours. You taught me how to write my name and tie my shoes. You tucked me in at night and kissed my forehead before school. You were the chef of my world And you showed me how to be one too. I learned how to swim thanks to your kindness You invested time and energy into being a father to me. You took it upon yourself to teach me right from wrong And you were there to pick me up when I fell. I came first in your life And always knew I could come home anytime. You could have walked out on me at any point instead you rearranged your life and gave me a home. Sitting in the chair tonight is when I realized you were gone. Watching all the faces of sorrow and emptiness When a hand touched my shoulder and said, “Remember all the memories you get to keep.” She walked off and a smile crossed my face our memories made me who I am today. There is no more calling to say hi Instead prayer is our only communication now. There is no more stopping by the house to see your smile. Now I have to look to the stars for that twinkle. Now a picture hangs on the wall surrounded in memories and years of love.
~RIP Matt 1-26-54-2-22-2013~


Details | Blank verse | |

I choose to forgive

Dad died, i know what killed him
It was envy from another man
A man who still lives
A man who has boys like me
And girls so beautiful like my sister
I chose to do it just like that
Sending my father to the grave
With poison 
He thought none would know
But guilt struck him
Until it was too hard to bear
He run into another life
Of another young man 
And murdered him too
The village knew
They wanted to kill him
I felt like joining them
But 
I chose not
But to watch him stay and be tormented
By his sin and malice
That was not enough 
I understand that good haunts bad
I chose to forgive him
And love him
I shook hands
With my devil
And now even when 
I walk like an orphan 
I am happy that 
I forgave
The man who killed 
My precious dad 



Details | Free verse | |

The New God

You're a voyeur at best!
Your vampiric heart beats out of your chest
Ready to consume the final climax
I know who you are - when the lyrics fail to resemble
Letting your poison drip straight from your lips
Portraying, entertaining the image of sex's delusion
You know only rape - manifestation of hate
Lack of the fruit of the beauty of a human mind
Depths you'll never penetrate!

She was only a doll - type of a lost father's adore
Impaled into a desperate whore
Shamefully out of broken safety's  choice 
She bore embryogenesis of morose
May your rusty blades caress as they please

So confront the masses with the halt of embryogenesis
Let the worship of machines be
Leg them construct us cell to cell
Nature's just in the way
Of our race of perfectly engineered machines!
The burden of conception
Surrenders to the will of
The New God
   


Details | I do not know? | |

up above

it was after midnight, and i won't soon forget
my dad was leaving, or so they said
laying there, his soul it seemed, wanted to be set free
it was hard, not something for all to see
when my father departed, i looked at stillness
i looked around, and i looked above
i saw a glimpse of what i thought was he,
it was just the reflection in the window of me
i looked further out, past my thoughts and prayers
only to realize my dad was already just a memory
as i looked back at him on that hospital bed
i tried hard to engrave his last breath, in my head
it looked like him, but it didn't feel like him
he was no longer there
as much as i wanted him back i knew he was elsewhere 
...without a care
again, i stood to look out the window
and again the only sign of life were the palm trees,
they looked like brooms sweeping the midnight air
it is then that i saw life again, and i knew that he was there....


Details | I do not know? | |

Not so Perfect Dad

NOT SO PERFECT DAD

You’re not so perfect, Dad, we know
But who can find one, who can show?
Oh, Dad we love you even so
For you have loved us as we grow

We took for granted what you say
We took for granted that you pray
Misunderstood the complex way
You help no matter who are they

The sound of motorcycle roars
The groovy outfits that you wore
Girls hug and kiss you, give you score
The children love you even more

We’ll miss your laughter, smile and tear
We’ll miss the way you bring us cheer
We’ll miss your songs we seldom hear
We’ll miss the notes you post we fear

Sometimes respect we sure denied
When we grew wiser, hurt your pride
Now Jesus Christ in you abide
Our teardrops flow now that you died


Details | Rhyme | |

A Simple White Stone

A simple white stone marks the spot where Dad is laid to rest;
I really wanted more for him, but yet this was the best.
For though his life was full of days of hardship and of strife,
And I had thought some honor’s due to those short years of life,
Where he is now he doesn’t care what marks his resting place;
He’s seeing splendor far more grand than a simple marble face.
He’s seeing stones that shine so bright, a street of purest gold,
A river flowing fresh and clear where no one will grow old.
The place he often wrote about is now a land so real,
And no more heartaches does he know, and no more pain he feels.
As I looked at the barren ground still waiting for the stone
And looked up in the sky above where now he makes his home,
I wished for more than that bare spot, a simple monument,
I wished right then the trump would sound and I to heaven went
To meet him and to talk to him just one more long, long time,
For when he was here on the earth, we wrote such hurtful lines.
I knew if we could talk up there, no harsh words would be said,
But now no correspondence comes, for “Daddy” now is dead.
I saw the stones throughout the place where now his body lies,
Some with a cross or eulogies now lifting to the skies.
I wanted just a simple stone so he could see above
The words inscribed there, “Safe within his wondrous arms of love.”
And yet the fact is very true:  he is not in that spot,
He’s gone beyond the simple stone; he’s hiding in the Rock.


Details | I do not know? | |

Don't put your Dad in a home

Don’t put your Dad in a home kids
It isn’t a nice place to be
The people are old, the foods always cold
And everyone smells of stale pee

Don’t put your Dad in a home kids
You know that it wouldn’t be fair
They feed you alright and watch through the night
But you know that they don’t really care

So don’t put your Dad in a home kids
It is not where he’d like to expire
Just let him stay till he goes on his way
With his slippers in front of the fire


Details | Rhyme | |

Nearly Fathers Day

Fathers day stuff everywhere, makes me think of you,
The only man i ever known, who's words were purely true,
You are my one true hero, my king, my everything,
and when i close my eyes, you're here, and i can hear you sing.

I know that you are safe now, way up in the sky,
and though i cannot see you, i know you're with me when i cry,
and when it all just gets to much, when i want to shout,
i remember what you told me, and then i write it out.

I hope that you will know, that i only write for you,
i promised i would never stop, until my world is through,
so i will dedicate, every single thing i write,
i will write it in your name, in dedication to your life.


Details | Narrative | |

Final Days 2-20-02, 9:00 AM

Pop watched some of the Olympics with me last night. It was the first time he had watched television in over two months. He wasn’t refined enough to appreciate the figure skating, However, liked the speed skating quite a bit. He said it was more like track and he liked the Summer Olympics more than the Winter. He asked me for a shave and I obliged. In the past this was always by my suggestion. He’s been having quite a few visitors and I think he wants to try to be presentable. Mom says he embarrasses her when they have company. He can’t always hear what’s going on in the other room and calls for her. “Ruth Ellen, get your ass in here!” is not the proper way to call for my mother. Ralph E. has already cleaned his plow about that once before. I’m not sure how much he’s really aware he’s doing that sort of thing. I’m sure he’s lonely and stir crazy and just wants her company most of the time. Maybe that helps keep his mind off what’s happening. I’ll call if there’s a change. Love You Both, DAD


Details | Rhyme | |

Hope For A Psycho Path

I met my big brother only recently
but he had been keeping tabs on me.
We were separated as children from a brutal crime scene.
We witnessed our mother's slaughter most brutally.
Two days we spent in her pool of blood, traumatized as children would be.
My brother was committed to a mental institution. I was adopted by a loving family
who kept my brother's existence a secret from me.
My foster Dad knew that I would most probably
be a child of special needs
but I doubt that even he could have ever foreseen
the monster that was brewing inside of me.
My brother was a killer without reason or remorse.
He decided to make my foster sister our family reunion trophy corpse.
By killing my foster sister together, my brother believed
that it would unite he and I as a true family.
Like my brother, I too am a killer much like he
without reason or remorse or any feelings remotely,
but unlike my brother a code directs me.
I kill only killers to satisfy my need.
I kill because I need to take human life
to fulfill an uncontrolable hunger within me that's never satisfied.
"You can't help what you've become," Dad told me in my young adulthood,
"but perhaps you can channel this darkness where it will do the most good.
If you kill only killers," my foster Dad taught,
"you'll stand a far better chance of never getting caught.
Never Kill Anyone Who Doesn't Deserve To Die.
Never break this code and you'll most likely survive.
Remember this forever Son.
Your always loved and never alone,"
but that's no longer true now that Dad's dead and gone..
..and No, I didn't kill him
if that's what you were thinking.
My foster Dad died naturally
from hardening of the arteries.
My foster sister didn't deserve to die
and so I sent my brother to his demise.
Authorities ruled it a suicide.
I'm a professional monster when it comes to homicide.
I killed the one person who accepted me for who I truly am
to save the life of someone who would reject me if she knew the truth I hide within.
My brother was the only one other than Dad who I truly made a connection.
and so I continue to be alone and isolated forever destined.
I've never felt anything at all inside
but after I killed my brother, I began to cry.
Perhaps this may be the very beginning
of yours truly getting in touch with truly true feelings.

The above is a scene from the Dexter TV series
that I attempted to write poetically.
Just letting you all know that I'm not writing about me.
I couldn't harm a fly, honestly.

Best Wishes Always,
theKidster, SillyBilly


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

Escape

Don't judge me until you've walked a mile in my shoes
Because these things don't just happen on the news
Going hungry and getting hit
Soul wearing down bit by bit
Angry hands raining down
I take it all without a sound
He beats me senseless
Doesn't even care that I'm defenseless
He lets men have me for a price
Tells me to smile and act nice
Be a dutiful daughter
Never let your emotions falter
I finally escape
Try not to think about the rape
I search all around
But God's nowhere to be found
I look forward to death
The moment I draw my final breath
I don't care about everlasting peace
I just want that final release


Details | Rhyme | |

My Dad Loved Me Forever

My Dad Loved Me Forever

I asked him why this and why that
he would smile and adjust his old hat
Answer all my questions and be pleased
with questions he could use to tease

Why do clouds have funny shapes
some look like cats others like apes
How many fish swim in a school
how big is the biggest tool

Did mom send an angel to fetch me
how many leaves on that willow tree
Are you really older than dirt
does growing up start to hurt

Will I ever grow a big dark beard
are girls always sissy and weird
Did you ever hunt with your dad
does old age make you very sad

Why did you have to die
I really need to know why
Were you happy to be my dad
does missing you ever stop being so sad?  Robert L.


Details | Rhyme | |

Dad, Let Go

In all my life 
I’ve never spent a full day with you 
Dad, the man I know and love
Split in two

I’m proud to call you my father
For any man to model
But only half because the other half
Can’t let go of the bottle

Your different dad
When your drinking or not
Don’t deny your problem
You miserable sot

A 12-pack isn’t normal
Not everyday or so
Grow up, act your age
And just let go

Because we love you dad
We always have and will
But your drinking blasts a hole in me
With nothing to fill

When you ask me for more
I am hopeless to your avidity
But give-in and guide you towards death
For fear of acerbity

As I mature into manhood
I fear that you won’t see the day
I graduate, get married, or start my family
So affirm a different substance for your thirst to allay

I have no shame on my knees to plead
Because we are kin, it’s your blood I bleed
You must end this putrid deed 
So Dad, please just let go of the mead

By Nicholas A. Bello 


Details | Quatrain | |

Letter to Mum and Dad

Letter to Mum and Dad

Dear Mum, Dear Dad, you're gone from my life.
I remember you now as a good husband and wife.
Dad, I saw you lay there. Lifeless, quite still.
The shocks that they gave you, zapped at my will.

When I touched you, your body, still warm, lips blue.
A far cry from the father, the man I once knew.
Your cheeks in contrast, stood out, quite bold.
Your hand I touched. That memory I hold.

Mum, I never saw you, when you passed away.
You were alone in your bed, so it's for you that I pray.
I remember you most, for the love that you gave me.
Always caring, never judging, I wished I could save thee.

Now that you're gone, I don't feel alone.
You're the best parents in life, this child could have known.
So it's with you in memory, my life has begun.
I remain as always, your ever loving son.


Details | Free verse | |

Final Day 3-1-02

The phone had us on our feet
   In the middle of the night. 
It was Dennis, “Dad just passed…”
   We each made calls and gathered
So we could go tell Mom together.  

Were his organs riddled with cancer?
   Was it diabetes, or was it his heart?
They all had played a part.

We carried Mom to see her Beau
  Held her by the hand with tissues
For us all and started final plans.
   Made calls. Signed papers.
….And looked for Morris.

Maybe he needed privacy.
   Everyone has a different way
Of handling their grief.
   We found him at the empty bed
Dad’s pillow at his face.

His scent lingered in the linens
   Giving one chance to remember
Something we had long forgotten—
   Something natural and tender
Links a parent and a child


Details | Haiku | |

Eleven

     



       
Eleven 

Sad heart breaks in two.
A walk with pain, sorrow, death,
unbearable pain.
Daddy snatched away from her.
Scared, defenceless, eleven.


Details | Lyric | |

Bridge

1 am in the morning 
No noises fill the air
Sitting on the bridge
He thinks
Remembering everything
He has ever done
The street lights 
Glowing from a distance
He stands up 
Climbs over the side
Of the bridge
Stands there 
He breathes in
His last memory
stuck in his head
He lifts one foot
And jumps
his body hits the river
Water drowning his lungs
What he felt at that moment
No one could understand
Sinking to the bottom of the river
The man tied a concrete block
To his back
His eyes wide open
The last thing he saw was water
The last memory he had
Was of his daughter
Living life like this is sad
But if you have no help
Who do you turn to?



Details | Free verse | |

I Hoped

I hoped
I really really hoped
By now that you'd pick up the phone
Or show up at my door
But there's someone you want a little bit more

Days and nights go by
Staying strong is hard but I try
Reminders pop up in every day life
But still I keep busy and strong, I try

So many moments I've never had
I'll never get to experience with dad
Basic anatomy connected us at first
You ignored all that and rolled me in the dirt

Downhill I fell and fell and fell
You made me cry many times and I yelled
Your heads made of brick
My hearts made of sticks
Your abuse burned my love down
You hallowed the insides of this chick

Been ten years now, I've rolled back up the hill
Been a struggle, but life now is pretty chill
I wont pretend that I don't think of you
Miss having someone there because I do
Honestly I never did feel that you cared
That bottle always came first and it was more than I could bare

Being me is something I learned to do
Something that wouldn't have happened if I stuck with you. 






Details | Haiku | |

Haiku 14 Eyes

      face, etched with deep lines
    dark sadness pools in the eyes
        lost in death . . . daughter





For all who have loved and lost



David Meade
Live Generously


Details | Rhyme | |

The Night Dad Died

There are those moments that stay with us forever
stuck in time, we will forget them never

The night I picked up the phone, it was late
how could this be his fate?

I drove and on my way I got a flat tire
this seemed a cruel and divinely planned satire

The tow truck man could not remove the lug nuts
Almost midnight now and I thought he was a putz

When mom's door opened there were swollen eyes
I was the strong one to my surprise

We made the plans and bought the box
I look back now and know I was still in shock

My hair came out in clumps as I showered
Being strong and holding it in was not making me feel empowered

Then about three months later it hit me like a wall
my father was gone, I would not see him at all

I had not cried at all until that day
It seemed I could not stop now to my dismay

My words of wisdom to pass on to you my friend
Tell those you love how you feel every now and again.


Details | Free verse | |

LET ME SLEEP

I sleep so can I dream

to find me in a world I can be

to play with my dad while

My mom waits for me

with several cups of tea

Distant relations I not even know

Childhood friends forgotten long ago

tug along and raise a lot of cheer

I find myself cocooned

in the midst of near and dear

God wakes me to the reality of hell

O’ No! I want to sleep for ever

and stay in my happy dreams

As I stand near the grave

I shoo away the birds around

My dad is dreaming deep inside

Leave me at peace, let me sleep


Details | Rhyme | |

Whenever you see my face

Whenever you see
my face,
please try not
to cry,
for i'm in a much
better place,
as i did not
die.

I just knew it
was time to
embrace,
begin a new 
life,
and so i knew 
i could not
stay,
so i said
goodbye.

Whenever you see 
my face,
think of all the
times,
the promises we
made,
make no mistake
i'm keeping
mine.

Think back to the
days,
endless hours we'd
write,
think of what i'd
say,
if i could see you one last
time.

Whenever you see
my face,
smile but please don't
cry,
because although
i'm so far away,
this is not
goodbye.


Details | Free verse | |

The wicket-keeper

A lover I once knew, die today
he was alive yesterday
I never thought of him this way.
I never think about the rain 
Unless it flood my drains,
my driveway, my rose garden 
Or dampened my happy mood

Why would the death of my lover
Leave me so sad, and blue
Tender moment of affection: edgy days

Relationships have it up and downs
The past have been trouble: maybe I was wrong, 
Probably he was right: however here tonight

A lover I once knew passed away today
My old lover the wicket-keeper: 
The one I uses to love the most: an distant lover


Details | Haiku | |

Father

The sun bitter cold
Down my cheek is tragedy
My soul sits in pain

Mind in dark shadows
Seeking last light perfect blooms
To make tangible 

Heart drifts with a cloud
Blemishes fade on the wind
He was perfection


Details | Rhyme | |

Everyday

Everyday
Everyday I worry and think
Worrying more than thinking
That they will cast the die
And daddy will die
He will turn to dust
Just as metals rust

And I will mourn
Like the moon
When the sun rises
And brings day

In my dull grey cloak
Crying like grandfather’s clock
When dawn is near
And he isn’t here.


Details | ABC | |

final goodbye

My outside smile doesn’t match on the inside
Growing up all I wanted was a dad by my side
But I never had you in my life
Sit with my pad and I write
That’s what hurts the most
I went on a search for you father
It would have been easier to search for ghosts
What made it harder
Is you had a chance to be a dad
But you rejected it
I’m trying to advance through the sad
While accepting it
I needed you the most
Now I’m not affectionate 
To anyone who tries to get close
People always leave. I’m expecting it
Talk about my dad I act like I don’t miss him
But it’s eating me up inside
Can my feelings be justified?
How could I say goodbye
When you ****ing died
When we rarely said a simple hi
We got to see each other a few times a year
You turned up drunk. Blind from beer
At times I wish I could rewind to there
But I let my smile out shine my tears
The death of you was the birth of me
I try and figure what’s best to do
But people see the worst in me
Sober and clean
They want the dirt on me
A coward is something I’ll never be
But a boy in need of a dad I’ll probably forever be
Everything I’m yet to achieve. And everything I already have
Will it make up for never having a dad?


Details | Rhyme | |

The Best Christmas Present That I've Ever Received

For the last two Christmases, I have grieved.
But in 2012 my friend gave me the best Christmas present that I've ever received.
She gave me a ride to Sneedville so that I could spend Christmas with Mom and Dad.
I was a very fortunate person but sadly, just several months later I lost what I had.
I had no idea that within a matter of months that both Mom and Dad would both be dead.
I spent the last Christmas with my parents, there would be no Christmases ahead.
If Tammy hadn't given me that ride, I wouldn't have been able to be with Mom and Dad on Christmas.
This time of the year is no longer easy for me because what happened filled my heart with darkness.


Details | Haiku | |

COME SEPTEMBER MY HEART BLED

Darlingest baby 
I have found your Barby doll
your daddy's last gift


Fire,splinters,dust
Embedded in the first cell
Shattered rosy womb



Mom broke her promise
Daddy says  no she did not
She only loved you


Details | Verse | |

Final Days- Hospice 2-26-02

He was angry when they came
   And said he wouldn’t go.
“You can’t make me leave this house!”
   “I’ll fight you all, you know!”

He spread his arms like giant wings
   As if they were set to soar,
And grabbed the facing either side,
   To hold himself in the door.

Mom clinched tired eyes and dabbed her tears.
   She tried to say a prayer.
She knew that once her mate was gone,
   Only she’d be there.

When we broke his iron-like grip
   He took a final look
At what a man could call his own.
   And remembered the work it took.

Friends stopped by to visit him.
   Buster, his Best Man was one.
He smiled as they recollected
   The days when they were young.

Robert and I, at Dad’s request,
   Sung the chorus of “For the Good Times”.
Ray Price was his favorite—
   And he smiled, a final time.


Details | Free verse | |

Those who death steals from

At the breaking of the new dawn
Where the hopeful golden glow melts the dew
A sleepy world awakens to the brightened new dawn of life
But at the striking of that aged light
Where the anguished reddened heat squanders dew
I die a thousand deaths
Knowing that tomorrow I will die a thousand more
And every day thereafter as the sands of my hour glass quickly trickle with each sighing breath

A path once known now wisps of smoke
A path once comforted by the soft colours of a palette of petals
Now shrouded in jagged sculptures of flesh and blood and soul
A path upon which defiant footprints once spoke loudly of living
Now a path imprinted with the silent screams of a ragged form, noosed 
And brutally dragged in death’s merciless dark wake

A spirit once free
Now sentenced and shackled to the imperceptible chains of pain
Hands still young now wrinkled with the hauntings of death’s cold pallor
Arms once strong now weakened at the remembrance of the weight of the lost
	
And a face unrecognisable masked by raging war
Mirroring an imploding core 

The day’s heat savages the charred flesh stretched over decrepit bones
The hollow cavity where a heart once beat humming the melancholy call for the pieces of its once whole inhabitant
A yearning soul’s agonising pleas falling on deaf ears
In frantic search of the fast fading, scarred scattered remains
Of what once was
And what will never again be

And as the day breathes its final breath and the orange glow begins to sink, a silky cloak with glistening jewels envelopes the world in peace
But with the rise of the cause of the pained wolf howl
The shadow of the demonic orb of devastation descends
Its arms outstretched, spreading suffocation
Its spindly blood drenched fingers piercing that empty hollow where a heart once beat

And as my broken barely human form turns, collapsing to my knees into fading air, where familiar loving arms once stood tall
Now unjustly only dust in the pine box cradled between my palms
The fires of my hell encircle me
And falling ashes rain upon me as the heavens mourn you falling asleep
Another of death’s cruelly stolen souls	
Wrenched from my fingertips-abandoning me forever

And the dawn of realisation opens its jaws and revels in the manic scream that escapes me-the echoes of my tortured soul

A soul who must remain

And there I die a thousand deaths
Knowing that tomorrow I will die a thousand more
And every night thereafter as the sands of my hour glass quickly trickle
with each sighing breath


Details | Rhyme | |

Viewing

Thin eyelids seal 
                  the window to his soul. 
 His cheeks are colapsed, 
                  though once very full. 
 Make-up covers them, 
                  thick like paint. 
 He looks so 
                sick, 
                      breathless, 
           faint. 
 Once smiling lips wrinkle down 
                  without tone. 
 His once strong body's 
                  skin and bone. 
 He's continually still, 
                  without flowing air. 
 Wake up, sleeper, 
                 if 
                       you're 
            there! 
 Who's this imposter 
                  in this fancy box? 
 Where is the dad 
                  that I suddenly lost?


Details | Free verse | |

The Forgotten Heroes

The chill of morning sweeps the streets of Whitehall.
Rain falls like tears from the sky onto the Cenotaph stone.
I fear the sight of his name, should the pain make me fall,
Amongst the crowd I stand here alone

No loving words to give me hope,
No letterbox clatter with joy renew.
So in memories past I sit and study,
The pain of loss is deep for you.


As I lay here in the silence, I wonder how much father knows,
About this nightmare and the darkness that surrounds me.
These are the demons that haunt my mind,
Longing for death to set me free.


No 10 gun salute to make my father proud.
Death has taken my ID tag, my title and my name.
Would my father disown me?
The thought drives me insane!



In the deafening silence,
I cling on as hope slips away.
No news of my son,
Tortures every day.

I hear his voice in the darkness of night,
His image floats above my bed.
The boy I sent off to make me proud,
Does he lie among the unknown dead?



My senses are shattered, body battered, my sight is gone,
My head drums out an S. O. S thumping on death’s door.
If only a loving touch could soothe me,
Oh, to see my father once more!

To be able to look upon your face,
To be a family once more.
When we have always been true and faithful,
Why must God allow the horror of war!
OH PLEASE GOD!
Oh please God!


Details | I do not know? | |

Cross my Heart

Run little sister find somewhere to hide
I'll take care of Dad I swear I'll be fine
Cross my heart and hope to die
I'll never leave you behind
Dad started drinking when I was seven
Ashley was two, now I'm eleven
Mom has been gone for about four years
I cried, Dad cried, there were so many tears
Almost every night right before bed
I'de pray for her to come back from the dead
Dad's drinking got worse and I couldn't watch
So one night I told him "Daddy just stop"
He turned and slapped me across the face
I fell to the floor and he said "Thats your place"
After that night it became a routine
He'd come home drunk and I would get beat
He turned on Ashley the night before last
I held her tight till the pain past
Mom if you hear me I'de like you to know
God came to us and said "Its time to go"


Details | ABC | |

Gone Forever

Gone Forever
I think about you every day and hope that you’ll return
You left us way too soon, and for you I always yearn
I can’t believe you’re gone forever, I am still in disbelief
Not a day goes by that my heart is not filled with grief
Never did I think that you would get sick and pass away
It feels like we were playing basketball just yesterday
Everything I do reminds me of you, dad
The thought that I can’t call you anymore makes me really sad
I know you’re in a better place, no longer in pain or discomfort
But when I realize that you’re gone forever, my heart begins to hurt
I love you so much and I miss all the times we shared
Knowing that you’re gone forever makes me really scared 
Who am I gonna call when I need help with my car?
And who’s gonna make fun of me for all my careless scars?
You were so laid back and easygoing, you never complained about much
I miss your calm demeanor and your soft, gentle touch
I tell you how much I love you each and every day
I wish I could hear you talk to me and tell me that you’re okay
A lot has changed since you got sick, and life will never be the same
All I want is one more kiss and to hear you call my name



Details | Prose | |

The house of the dead

At the doorstep the little girl sits
Misled by a false hope
Daddy will come soon
And gather into his arms his sweet dove
What will he bring for her today?
A flower? A bar of chocolate?

The young wife grows silent as the night
Grief pouring out of her eyes
Her youth, her dreams lost 
Just like that, in a flash
Wishing she could be like the little girl
Too young to understand death and demise

Shuzbee wonders why his master aint home yet
His wagging tail drops down
His ears alert to pick up the silliest sound
Its time to play fetch
Shouldn’t master be walking up the path right now?
Flattening the grass?

A silence hangs over the house
Death eminent from a mile away
The air is heavy
Deprived of breath
A step into the house of the deceased
And you feel the chill of the dead


Details | Rhyme | |

Oh Daddy

Oh Daddy, please don’t hit!
I’ll be quiet while you watch your game
You forget to unclench your fist
And swear at me not knowing my name
Oh Daddy, how you hated
Your words cut like jagged glass
Even when you weren’t drinking
We’d get the leather sash
Oh Daddy, I hear you’re sick
You should confess it all
But you go on denying what you’ve done
Even though it’s too late to take the fall
Oh Daddy, now that you’re dying
You still won’t face the truth
That you are an evil, demented man
And your kids’ sufferings are the proof
Oh Daddy, look you’re dead
You left countless victims behind
My eulogy for you is simple:
“The world doesn’t need any more of his kind”


Details | Couplet | |

War-Born Lullaby

I hear a mother softly cry
As she sings a war-born lullaby.

The song of a father who went away,
To give freedom one more day.

He promised that he would return,
Return from watching evil burn.

It was a promise he could not keep,
As now he sleeps an eternal sleep.

He gave his life so his child could see,
A land of freedom and liberty.

His body now rests beneath green grass,
His medals and picture behind clear glass.

His soul, however, is not gone.
His ideas and dreams are carried on.

She sings the song of war’s high cost.
She sings the song of freedom not lost.

She sings of a father’s sacrifice,
For his country and family he gave his life.


Details | Rhyme | |

Mindful Thoughts from My Head

thoughts
How often I’ve  thought ,  I’ll just stay in bed...
But that’s for sick folks my mother said
So I’ll just linger a little while...
 And let  my memories make me smile..
My mother was strong and rather petite.....
And my father so strict...and yet so sweet..
They knew how difficult life could be...
And passed that on to my siblings and me....
As they had experience throughout their life..
With all the usual stress and strife..
And the pair of them taught us all so well....
Though the way we act sometimes you couldn’t tell..
The lessons  we learn from our parents you see...
Are what makes us special like you and me..
And as we grow and make our own way...
Leaving our homeland so far away....
Years later returning to the place where we were born...
To scatter their ashes amongst the Rose garden thorn...
Was across the sea we had to go..
The memories were already starting to flow...
As we stood  outside of the garden gate....
We heard Mother’s voice, so articulate...
 “ tea’s ready “....and Dad said I hope it’s Earl Grey...
It was then we realized this was the day..
As they were gone and you can never go back..
So we must face the fact....
Our mind plays the movies in our head...
So with that in  mind ..  guess  I’d better get out of bed..... 
earl grey tea


Details | I do not know? | |

A Time of Terror

A Time of Terror – The Rwandese Genocide

A screeching sound woke me from my sleep, I looked around in fear and trepidation 
Sensing a lurking gaze in the shadows, beyond the room I slept in
Sweat began to slide down my brow,That night, the night I lost everything I have ever held dear to me
Years have passed, seasons have come and seasons have gone
But that night will never be erased from my neurotic mind, I look around in fear, that something like that will soon happen again, As I remember, I wished I had never been born a Tutsi
But when I saw what had happened to my Hutu friend Alasious,
I then wished I had never been born in Rwanda.

The night it happened, Daddy gathered us together and led us covertly into our car, our only means of escape
Suddenly our car jerked forward and stopped, my eyes widened as I realized what was happening
The Interahamwe leader stood by Dad’s window, his hand stretched out, seeming to ask for something, an Identification
When suddenly the man opened Dad’s door and called my Father out, mum trembled, my little sister sniffed and our baby snored.
For the first time in my life, I saw my Dad in tears, begging the soldiers to let his family go
My Mother couldn’t have any of it, she warned us to stay put and went outside
The soldier’s interest wavered from my Dad to my Mother, his eyes darkened with evil 
He pulled my Mother towards him and used his panga to cut the front of her dress
Right there in front of her Family, Mother was raped and later her head was chopped off
Like a confined goat, my Father couldn’t protest, because his legs had turned to stumps
And his hands were no more, the soldiers hadn’t noticed our existence yet.

The night came and we trekked through the swamps, seeking for refuge which we found at a Polish church, where a lot of Tutsi children were hid, the people were many,that same day, the Hutu soldiers came in, Armed with machetes,started hacking to death all the helpless children
They called us cockroaches and rats, they had no mercy but we could see the satisfaction they got.
After their murderous barbaric act, we waited, waited for what, we didn’t know,
I looked at my sister, her look was blank and lacked any emotion, and her little mind had taken in a lot
I looked in space and prayed with hope that there was a bright future for this little mind and heart.
Because the memory of that night, will forever be seared on the minds of the victims that had survived the years of The Rwandese Genocide.


Details | Monorhyme | |

ROAD ONE HUNDRED AND TEN

today i saw A white car with big antennas in the back
Out stepped a man in a uniform of blue and black
He knew my name as if I have seen him before
My heart had sank  to the floor
He said my name is officer green
I was the first  to arrive on the scene
My hands were shaken,my legs wouldn’t stand
I had to sit down clinch to my wedding band
I closed my eyes and hoped for the best
My heart felt like it was going to pound right through my chest
Officer green said I’m so deeply sorry to meet you like this
He said its not easy for me to say as he clinched his wrist
You could see him swallow then take a deep breath of air
Officer said my intentions today was not to bring anyone despair.
I finally asked him if he would just say what he needed to say
my nerves are shot and with my emotions you cant play
Officer said there was a wreck and I did what I could
But he didn’t make it and I deeply hopped he would
I looked at officer green;my eyes filled with a tear
Told him my world is flipped ,my husband is no longer here
No more late movies or holding each other in the dark
no more afternoon picnics after a stroll in the park
I told him our anniversary was just around the corner you see
Its just not fair  his life and mine have been taken from me
Officer said sorry is there anything you would like me to do
I was so upset I screamed  BRING MY HUSBAND BACK WOULD YOU
down on my knees crying you must have it wrong
 the last thing he said is I love you honey I wont be gone for long
Reality sank in but it took quite a while
My husband is gone its true there’s no more denial 
Officer green gave me his card said don’t hesitate to call if a need arise
 my heart goes out to you and I will listen to all your cries
Officer said I am not suppose to hug you but going to instead
You are my mom I love you  hope you don’t blame me cause dad is dead
I made sure I was the officer to tell you so it might maybe give a little ease
Mom even though I am an officer tell me it is ok to cry please
Mom I wish my visit was just to sit and talk
It is the hardest thing ever harder than learning to walk
Mom I know I am an officer and suppose to stay  tough
dad died in my arms mom ,that hurts  my days ahead rough
My shift is over mom I will be here and stay by your side
Mom I know dad is in heaven waiting to see his son and lovely bride
Now as you drive along road one hundred and ten
You will see a fathers and husbands cross standing just around the bin 


Details | I do not know? | |

Death Man Heard....

There once was a death man
Oh there once was a death man
His name was Adam
He lived by himself in a house
Near the creek.
No family would come over to speak..
All alone, in the home where not one word was shed 
When Adam walks up the steps
He can hear the steps weep
And cry into depression...
He turns the light on and off
So he can have a conversation
When the light bulb flickers

There once was a death man
Oh there once was a death man
His name was Adam
One day he had a knock on the door
It was his dad
That he has not seen in 20 years
Tears ran down Adam's cheeks
He can hear the flow of the river 
on his veins
His dad use to beat him and he
killed his mom
His father tells him
in psy language  
" I hate you "
and he walks out his life for the second time...

There once was a death man
Oh there once was a death man
His name was Adam
He was driving drunk one night
He could hear his father's thoughts
He could hear God's worries
Adam goes to his dad's house..
His dad opens the door
Adam walks into the kitchen
grabs the knife,
and cuts his dad's fingers off
So that he would not feel no more pain
His father screamed... but Adam could not hear
The creep
So then
Adam committed suicide
to haunt his father
Because he can still hear his mother weep
that's what he always heard
he's made new friends with the wind
and the clouds that argue
on rainy days

There once was a death man
Oh there once was a death man
His name was Adam......  


Details | ABC | |

Awaiting Forgiveness Dad

I was growing up as a crazy girl, 

thinking every thing would be all right, 

with no scence to take control of what came up next, then you died. 

I was left with a shallow heart, not knowing you meant right. 

Till the day I got caught and old enough to be convicted.  

I realized life was hard and you meant right.  

Why do I now dream of you to set me straight and to forgive me dad ?  

But where are you dad? 

I feel so bad! 

I need to know you forgive me dad? 

I love you dad! 

I need you dad to tell me in my dreams every thing will be all right.


Details | Free verse | |

Soul of Regret

I saw the picture of you
With Mom and dad 
And you were smiling
	And bells were ringing
And dad was holding you 

	He called your name
	The night he died
	And was scared  
	He would never 
	See you again.
	
	And now he comes 
	In your dreams
	When your soul 
	Needs you the most
	And you wonder if the dead can talk

	And if souls get lonely
	And believe they are okay
	And love other souls
	Like they want to be loved
	Even when they can’t love back

	Can you blame him
	For wanting to give comfort 
	When your soul is not free
	And your own death 
	Means nothing to you.

	And now he sits by the door 
	And waits for you to cry in your sleep
	And tries to understand why
	He didn’t hold you
	When he could.


Details | I do not know? | |

Cancer

he feels pain;
the breath draws thin and shallow
no more chances


Details | Rhyme | |

MAY OF '75

It All Started May 2, 1975
The Day This Man 
Took This Woman
To Be His Lawfully Wedded Wife
 
They Saw Their Share Of Struggles,Grief, Hardships,and Strife
But Hand In Hand
They Faced The World
Together
This Man And His Wife
 
The Cards Were Stacked Against Them
An Uphill Battle It Often Seemed
They Did Not Have A Fairytale
But In The End
Love Would Prevail
Between This Woman And This Man
 
Thirty Years They Shared Together
For Richer Or For Poorer
In Sickness And In Health
In Good Times And In Bad
Before This Man Would Pass Away
Right In Front Of His Wife
 
How Would This Woman Go On
Not Knowing What To Do
How To Make A Single Cup Of Coffee
Or Just One Plate Of Food
How Could She Bare Waking Up To An Empty Room 
 
She Grieved Tirelessly
She Often Questioned Why
Why She Had Been Left Behind
This Woman Who For Thirty Years
Had Been This Man's Wife
 
She Had To Find Her Strength Within
And Her Will To Go On
She Had To Comfort Her Children
And Learn To Lean On God
 
Although She Never Stopped Loving This Man
Eventually
She Would Find Peace
Though It Was Not Easy
She Learned To Live Life Without Him
Though It Was Never Part Of The Plan
On That Day In Early May of 1975
When These Two Were Wed
This Man And His Wife
 
Sometimes Things Will Happen
Even Though We Did Not Plan
Things We Can Not Fathom
Things We Will Never Understand
 
The Time Came
Two Short Years Later
When The Doctors Came
And Told This Woman
We Are Sorry
It Is CANCER
 
Now The Children
Of This Man And His Wife
Would Have To Find Their Own Answers
With No Parents Their To Guide Them
Give Them Comfort
Or Advice
They Would Be Left With Their Own Questions
Of How...
And WHY...
 
In Loving Memory of My Mom and Dad- Tiffany Abbott


Details | Free verse | |

RED WINE KING

                                         Cordelia is dead
                                     King,this blood is hers
                                   like red wine soothes your
                                          deadly nerves
                                     dad. love is unspoken
                                          the wise king
                                    the wandering madness
                                      in storm, trees crash
                                         hailstorm blasts
                                            your crown
                                          Curse the wind
                                          Curse the wind
                                              mad king
                                    who loves you the best?
                           the fool? the clown? the filial death?
                                 do you want so say anything
                                     Cordelia, in your favor?
                                       I curse you Cordelia
                                        I curse you winds 
                                       I curse you Goneril
                                        I curse you Regan
                                         I curse the world
                                        "Nothing, my Lord"




East Jesus - Poetry Contest
Sponsor	Roy Jerden
Poet: Rajat Kanti Chakrabarty
Composed on 4th December,2014


Details | Free verse | |

Fading Scars

Starring heavily at that double knotted rope
I thought optimistically about it
As a mad man
Slapping my dry and rough hands
On the ground
I picked myself up,
Weakly, I barely made it,
Gripping the tightly strung rope.
 From the ground
 To the ceiling
It hung;
With my mind upside down
I believed that it would remove you,
Take away the scars you’ve caused;
I thought it would kill you,
Not me.
Now standing,
 Off that old wooden chair
With my neck tied--
I kicked away. 
I suffocated.
But, that’s weak too;
I only kicked away when the only 
Hangings… were my scars.


Details | Free verse | |

Group photo with fishermen

it’s christmas dad 
lend me once more your hand to compare ourselves 
among the living people i ever touched 
only your hand was bigger 

if you want to we can go to the seashore hand in hand 
to leap wave after wave together 
or you can take me to the puppet theater 
where the orange tiger swallows pancakes 
while we’re clapping along with our big hands 

this year i didn’t grow home bread and 
i didn’t burn candles 
i simply crouched with half-opened eyes 
leaning against high cushions 
over a cross scratched with my nails on the bed sheets 
lying in wait
fishing like you dad 
sometimes hours other times days 
go by without any catch 
apart from your pale and slippery smile 
in the last photograph 

dad 
why on earth didn’t you put aside the fishing rod


Details | Rhyme | |

Anthony Vincent --- Dead or Alive

Yes, they called me the fool, The Jester ,the class clown
Younger brother of Anthony Vincent: Athlete renown
All star quarterback, number one forward , pitching ace
The town and high school news paper, front page: His Face
Mom and Dad send Ant to Yale and I go to the Vietnam War
Over there my mind inhales the atrocities of torture blood and gore 
.I envision when they took Jimmy Jones, ripped out his tongue
Cut his eyelids off,  crucified him on a small knoll ,facing the sun
Watching from my bamboo cage immersed up to my chin
Hearing poor Jimmy’s groans and moans over and over again
The leeches, water snakes, and marsh rats gnawing at my flesh
No longer felt like torture, unlike Jimmy : I could see  each new day fresh
Wide spread insanity among my troop and I was the most deranged 
While being insane I had devised a plan, my brother’s death was arranged
Through the G.I. bill  I bought a home on a small knoll: facing the sun
Doctor Anthony Vincent, Why not stay at my house: brother number one
Hello, MOM, is Anthony there? Hospital just called he didn’t show at work
Anthony Vincent Missing for 72 hours I laugh at my parents tears
Mom, Dad, I feel so bad, the number one son, You’ve Loved all these Years
Son ; you saw Anthony last , please tell me is he Dead or Alive??
In order to not tell a lie; looked  my Dad in the eye and Answered  -  YES

Inspired by Elaine George's Contest "Tell me a story"

Lady Elaine George -- Is this " POE " Enough?


Details | I do not know? | |

Dad

As you walked out the door, I had no idea id never see you again.
It was just the same as everyday.
You were a light in my light I thought id never see fade.
When you left me I felt I had seen my darkest day.
How could you just be gone.
Everything was a haze.
I've never felt a pain so strong.
A constant reminder, now the days seemed so long.
I was stuck reliving the past.
Thinking about what I should have said, what I never got to say.
You are my best friend, and although you may not be here in flesh
you are very much alive in my heart.
In the hearts and minds of everyone you crossed paths.
You were a force to be reckoned with. A beautiful man.
So incredibly full of life. you are my inspiration.
You are my path.
I'll tell everyone about you, who you were to me.
Ill never let you go and just know im here.
I'll see you again real soon.

I love you dad.

Written for my good friend Max.


Details | Free verse | |

Can't Be Saved

She sits on the ground, head against the wall
Wondering when everything went wrong
The first punch was the worst
The first kick was strong
The first bruised never showed
She listens at night for his loud footsteps ascending the stairs
Waiting for the pain she can hardly bare
Her friends see her terror, they see her pain
They ignore it, wishing it away
She sits on the couch quietly, not saying a word
Keeping his secret by lying to the world
She sits in the classroom, eye closed tight
Hiding from the world, a secret of lies
She can't remember ever being loved
She can't remember ever being missed
She remembers the pain when her mom left
She remembers the hurt from her dad
But she doesn't understand why
She wished for it to all go away
She wished for death
She wished for forgiveness, she even begged 
She was to blame when her mother left
Her eyes are empty, no emotion left
She knows its time, Time to say goodbye
She didn't expect to die like this
She didn't think her life would turn out to be this
She was alone, broken, she needed help
Her eyes pleaded, begged
Now were are too late...
She cant be saved.


Details | Narrative | |

Dad

His Dad had been fighting for years.
Never knowing when to take up arms,
But always needing to be prepared for war.

The pain would begin slowly,
Only then to accelerate into mass fury.
Small heart attacks had become frequent battles.

It may have been arrogant on his part,
But he believed if the big one hit,
His presence could be his Dads safe net.

He found himself spending more evenings at home.
And on the night it happened he was there,
Watching Dateline on the couch a mere ten feet away.

He yelled for Mom while grabbing the aspirin.
There was no use, it happened too fast.
His Dads body lay limp, and the war was done.

Watching his Dad pass will not haunt him.
For he knows his presence brought serenity,
He has far too many good memories to allow distress.

His Dad is now with Jesus.
The battles are no more,
Praise God.


Details | Couplet | |

Disasterous Night - 16 July 2014

A same night, a week back
Passed as the night, the week back
Took all away from me the person
Who was mine, my eternal life.
©


Details | Free verse | |

The shoelace

A shoelace, one that snags and tears when you try to tighten your shoe too tight. 
Who would have imagined, 
could be a tool used to take my daddy's life. 
Alcohol and drugs, a swirl of depression and a mindset of bamboozlement
Leaving what was once a brilliant artistic mind, 
now second guessing his sanity. 
Put so much faith into a women who made her life hustling, 
transparent to all but him. 
Would leave him alone, with his drug induced thoughts of self loathe. 
While she scampered the streets, and was more enthralled with a "john".
One night was his breaking point, concocting a delusional plan to recapture the harlot's attention. 
Was it a cry for help, and attention? Was it an induced hebetude. 
Sitting cross legged as indians would, a simple shoelace placed around his neck. 
Waiting hours and hours for her to return, to see him in this desperate state. 
The effects of the drugs and alcohol had taken its toll, his eyes heavy... 
He leans forward, the shoelace does not give way. 
I will never know if it was suicide or a drunken stupor!


Details | Classicism | |

lost father and the long lost twin veteran brother

day and night i sit and wonder when is my dad coming home
he writes to me about the war and the things that has happened 
"dear son 
soon I'll be home and i promise you won't recognize me
today i killed at 5 japs and took under my wing a boy not much older than you and 
this makes me wish i was home with you."
one day I'll see my dad and hope that he looks the same 
day after day after day yet no sign that my dad is okay
then one day an army truck appears inside is a man and a young boy right about 
my age.
they knock on my door and i open it 
they told that my dad was dead and the boy in front of me was my twin and he 
was the boy that my father took under his wing .
i gave him a hug and cried for the lost of my father they told that is 15 japs and a 
missile that wiped my father out.
day and night with a new brother by my side i wait to be with my lost father again


Details | Free verse | |

Will Daddy Be Home for Christmas

Dear diary,
Earlier I asked Mommy when Daddy would return,
And she simply smiled, "Soon, Little Bird."
But when I left the room, I could hear Mommy crying,
Then fell to her knees and prayed to the higher world.

No one will tell me why Daddy hasn't come back yet,
Won't he be back here for Christmas Eve?
I walked back down and peered around the corner,
Watching as Mommy cried and turned to leave.

Why won't they tell me anything, I'm desperate to know,
I don't know if I can open any gifts without my Daddy there.
Taking pictures to savour the memories, he was always present,
But as I drift off tonight, I wonder why he isn't here.

The next day, Mommy held a note in her hand,
"The funeral is scheduled for December twenty-first."
I went up and asked Mommy "What is that for?"
But I was not prepared for the worst.

Now, he will not talk to me anymore,
He won't be here for Christmas another year.
Now, he is on my list to Santa,
But I know something that dear

Can't come back.

I miss you Daddy.


Details | Rhyme | |

At the Foot of the Cross

- On the day my Father died
Loss opened a chasm wide
A hole in which I fell inside
To crawl upon proud Pity's ride.

- Anger engineered that fateful train
Which I rode in fog through Trouble's rain
Deep into tunnels black of Emotion's pain
As images blurred in my shocked brain.

- But even as my world on tilt did rock
Peace chipped away at my numbed block
Friends who had witnessed Dad's Christian walk
Protected and soothed me from Rage's selfish mock.

- As with a coin toss; it's either head or tail
I could remain bound by Loss' mourning wail
Or choose to walk on Love's precious golden trail
With quickened strides of strength not frail.

- Dad said, 'That even through Pain and Loss
A Christ anchored ship weather's all pitch and toss!'
So while Life chooses to leave a gilded gloss
That coin is now placed at the Foot of the Cross! Amen!

Sorrily missed but never forgotten;
John Anthony  entered God's Kingdom
September 26, 2003 71 years young!

This is for all those that are left with the wisdom,knowledge,
love and respect of their Dad and would trade anything for a minute
more with him! Remembering Father's Day

©6/6/2012


Details | Free verse | |

Photo Album

It first appeared during their wedding 
along with the other gifts that were given 
by family and friends celebrating
as two hearts were made one and uniting 

Then it was seen again on the day of the 24th
as the last child, a girl, was born
before that, there were two boys that arrived
ten years earlier. as it was depicted in the picture

Lastly, it lay on the bedside table, open
Not a space not filled with captured moments
the photo album now old with rusty scent,
and tears intrude on pages a middle-aged man was depicted

Now the old man has passed away 
leaving only photographs turning old and gray 
upon the photo album tattered from late night reminiscence
of the memories since 30 years ago on their wedding day.


Details | Epitaph | |

STEELENESS deadsilent

STEELENESS , dead silent

Ascetic
Broken Austerity 
Delusion
Copasetic in poverty
Mass-confusion
Pathetically unspoken
Orphaned 
Disparity 
Silent burial
Silent ceremony.


end
Written Dec. 08th 2014. This is something that I wrote (after my good friends fathers funeral)


Details | I do not know? | |

Julius Adams

In the remembrance of
Julius Adams (my father)
February 4, 2004

Have you had a feeling so strong?
That something that day was going to go wrong.
Well, I’ll never forget that gloomy day,
When I got a call that my dad had passed away.

I remember picking up the phone,
And hearing my brother Garron say, “Dad is gone”.
It felt like my heart had jus dropped,
And at that moment my whole world had stopped. 

I didn’t  know if I should cry or scream,
I wanted to believe it was just a dream.
This was a man, who was my best friend,
A man who stuck by  me through thick and thin.

You see it’s something between a father and son,
But in this case, dad and I had a very special bond.
Loosing my dad is a hurt I can’t explain,
I know my life will never be the same.

I’m trying so hard to be brave,
But all my hopes and feelings were buried in his grave.
My happiness and all my love,
Is gone now with my dad above.

Written by
Vertie Adams
December 25, 2004





Details | I do not know? | |

Daddy

DADDY,

As a little girl I would follow you around,
Trying to take bigger steps to keep up because you walked so fast.
No greater dad in my eyes could be found,
The memories of being daddy’s girl will always last.

I love you dad with all my heart,
You have taught me to be strong.
Even when things seemed to be falling apart,
You would tell me to bear with it, it wouldn’t last long.

You were always there for me,
No matter what I might need.
So much love in your eyes I could always see,
Even though the words were few and far between.

I use to get on you for talking so loud.
If I would only have known,
Instead I would have been telling you I was so proud.

If anyone had a care,
You were quick to help fulfill their need.
Loosing you daddy is so hard to bare,
But from all the work and worry you have finally been freed.

I don’t want to let you go,
You were my solid rock of stone.
Oh, how I will miss you so,
With you around dad, I never felt alone.

Daddy now you can finally rest,
And your precious memories will always be with me.
And I promise to always try my best,
To be as strong as you always had to be. 

Love Daddy’s Girl,
Kel


Details | Rhyme | |

I Killed Him Long Before he Died

I killed him long before he died.

When I found out, ’twas then I cried.

We came to blows one hit July.

I packed my bags and screamed “Goodbye”. 

I didn’t like my father none,

But how he loved his only son.

Each night, that I’d come home he’d pray,

But I rebelled and went astray.

I robbed some banks and stole some cars,

Lived half my life behind some bars.

When he would see me in my cell,

I told him he could go to hell.

I made it hard to be my dad.

That made his heart so very sad.

He just kept hoping all the while

That I would want to reconcile,

But I said “Nope. Won’t be today.

Don’t bother me. Please go away”.

He died in nineteen ninety-three

While having never talked with me,

But I had killed him long before

With love I gave to him no more.

And now, my heart’s forever blue.

To dad, I pledge my love anew.

If I could do it all again,

With open arms, I’d run to him. 

But now that chance is gone, you see 

And it is all because of me.

My pain can’t be described by words. 

I miss him now so much it hurts.

I killed him long before he died.

When I found out, ’twas then I cried


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

THE UNWELCOME VISITOR



Unwelcome visitor

Unwelcome visitor
Why are you so fond of visiting?
Without invitation
At the zenith of celebration
Where everyone are in jubilation
You appear from nowhere and 
Disrupt the joyful occasion in the heart of men
You left them stranded and confused

Why are you so merciless?
Why do you choose to hurt men?
At the point of merriment
As you shatter peoples hope
What joy is that to you?
Simply snatching away their joy

Indeed at the mention of your name
People speak in tongues
Never to encounter you
Never to experience you
They pray and fast for days
Yet so invisible you are that
We all dine with you together
And smile with you when you appear

How you appear on the scene 
Nobody could fathom it
Those you use to accomplish your mission
Nobody could say it’s by their will
All we say is; it's a mistake
What we say is, it's the work of the devil
Yet you perfect your assignment
And left us to mourn in loss of our loved ones

You are a messenger so we are
But your kind of message alone brings fear and worry
Which makes people run helter-skelter to fulfill destiny
Please allow me to tell my family how much i love them
Permit me to share my love with my friends
Let me make enough money to feed them
Let me share my love to those i will naturally meet
And those that will come my way by choice

Hmm...
It was like yesterday I lost my dad in your hands
It was like yesterday you find my mum in your bosom
What a painful experience, I didn't bid him with my love
What a trauma...I was not by her when you came calling

I would have wrestle till i breathe no more
And be the sacrificial lamb...instead of my dad and mum
I would have also bargained with God
As king Hezekiah bargained with God for more 15 years
You never smiled on your mission
You are so brutal as you attain them
You don't even care about people's feelings

Before we realize your presence 
You have done the havoc
Using different strategies to achieve your aim
You are master of strategies
If you will advertise to train people on strategic thinking
I will enroll under your tutorship

You use human omission and commission
You utilize the careless situation of individuals
We call it accident
Others kill their selves
We call it suicide
We always have a name 
To give to a particular havoc you carried out through us

Since nobody knows 
When he'll die or who's next
Or who'll kill him

Where he'll die
Or why he must die at that time

How he'll die
Or what kind of death'll he visit

   


Details | Rhyme | |

Annie

Each night, when I’d come home from work, 

She’d jump out of her bed, 

Run down the hall, then down the stairs, 

Hug me and kiss my head. “Daddy,” she’d say, “I’m glad your home.

I waited up for you.

Oh Daddy, I love you very much.

 I really really do.”

“Honey,” I’d say’ “I love you too. 

Now go on back to bed.

I’ll soon be up to tuck you in.” 

And then I’d kiss her head.

She’d have a gleam in both her eyes 

And a smile upon her face.

It was so great to come home to

A peaceful, loving place.

But now each night, when I come home, 

There is nobody there.

Nobody does run down the hall

And then run down the stairs.

'Cause Annie’s life was taken by

A drunk behind the wheel.

The man was doing ninety when

He barreled down the hill.

Now, here at Annie’s funeral, 

My emptiness, it grows

And on my angel’s casket, I 

Have placed a red red rose

.I know that we will meet again

Some day when my life’s o’er

At that great and mighty Kingdom

On God’s ce;estival shore.

“Daddy,” she’ll say, “I’m glad you’re home. 

I waited here for you.

Daddy, I love you very much.

I really really do.”


Details | Rhyme | |

Apocalypse

Sitting in a withered tree,
Decaying bodies surrounding Me,
I look back on the days that passed,
Of hopes that weren't meant to last.
Of hopes to get away from this place,
Death that ravages the face,
They seek such meet they deemed fresh,
What better than human flesh?
We ran as long a we could,
Stopping only for the search of food.
My wife daughter sister and i,
All we could do is try.
These cursed bodies never stopped,
Their bodies we Attempted to chop
In pieces to end their blight
It was a useless fight.
And so we continued on our way,
There was no reason to stay
When disaster struck so fast,
Their hoard had massed.
They surrounded so quickly,
The sight so sickly.
They went down with just a scream,
From the freaks, they wrecked my dream.
I climbed the tree, my last hope.
My axe had finally broke.
And here i sit and wait
For the end of my grisly fate.


Details | I do not know? | |

I Can Breath Know

I wake up in the night.
I hear the door slam.
I rush out of my room oh it’s the same again
my dad usually goes out for fresh air.
My dad say’s he can’t sleep at night but everyday
that seems strange.
It’s twelve o clock as I suddenly wake up by the 
noise so loud it frightens me.
The noise doesn’t stop it get’s louder.
So I go downstairs and I peep through the window.
It’s my dad holding an axe and hitting the wall.
He is sweating all over but continues to hit the wall.
The wall then cracks like tears falling from a child’s
eye.
The wall slowly crumbles and falls down.
My dad laughs so loud you can hear it.
He drops the axe as I quickly rush upstairs.
I wake up the next morning oh what a wonderful morning I can
breath know.


Details | Free verse | |

Yes Ma'am "Yesterday"

I didn’t sleep last night; Ma’am was in a very nice mood Yesterday
   That scares  me : would punishment be twice as bad today 
Millie was the only one  all she got was a “unheard” verbal warning
I’ve lived here 10 months  next week, I’ve never seen such a  Monday
I awoke very early yesterday  ,I wanted to talk to “DAD” before work
As Dad and I were talking : Ma’am in sheer silk pajama’s , my eyes decline
Good Morning “Mom” (we could say “ Mom” when DAD was there)
I’ll be going upstairs  Ma’om  I hope that sounded  like MOM : “Please”
Oh, Harry ; you don’t have to go upstairs : Talk with your  Father “Eggs Anyone”??
My Heart is beating quickly , Something is wrong, Ma’am being nice????
In front of a child, in front of his “DAD” six Years old and I could feel Death 
As The Station Wagon backed to the end of the driveway “ See you on the weekend”
"GOODBYE DAD"  as I turned the sunlight shinning On Ma’am's transparent form
Harry go upstairs and wake everyone up It’s family Breakfast day  ( NEVER BEFORE)
If only We could have  seen the future Would any of us got out of bed  “TUESDAY “??


TODAY life starts again 
 Evil was thwarted
What will Tomorrow BRING? 
Maybe the family from the dreams of my YOUTH
That FAMILY is YOU : “POETRYSOUP”


Details | Rhyme | |

Tragic

I like to write tragedy poems and song lyrics but I've never experienced anything tragic until this year.
I lost Mom in March, Dad in July and I'm thankful that the end of 2013 is near.
Mom was one of the greatest women who ever lived.
When I did her wrong, she was always fast to forgive.

I remember what my dad did for my brother many years ago when he was alive.
Dad traded his truck so that Rick could have a car to drive.
It's sad and tragic because my parents are no longer living.
If you still have your parents, give thanks for them this Thanksgiving.


Details | Free verse | |

I'm Not Ready Part 1

Mother:

Shivering nights follow me as my stomach grows

I feel her inside me

I can picture her face, smile, personality

Worth such a huge future

But I couldn’t give it to her

I’m not ready…

He doesn’t want her

We couldn’t handle it

The pressure, the responsibility

And god the things that are happening to my body

I’m not ready

I’m not

My mom cries whenever she looks at me

My dad doesn’t even look

I couldn’t take care of her by myself

Maybe…maybe I can give her away

To a family that could love her until I’m ready

There’s so much I haven’t done

Goals I haven’t fulfilled

All my dreams are gone

Because of a mistake

A onetime mistake

I learned my lesson

But I can’t take care of this baby

She needs so much more,

She deserves so much more

I can’t let her come into this world like this

I’m not ready

 

Daughter:

Its ok mommy

You don’t have to worry

You’re not alone

I still love you

You can still follow your dreams if you try

And teach me how to do right

I’m going to be a sweet baby

People are going to call me your twin

Don’t you like the sound of that mommy?

I promise to do my best in everything

So I can make you proud mommy

When I come

We’ll have each other

And that’s all that's going to matter

We’ll prove everyone wrong

And do better than anyone expected

We can do it mommy

You can do it

I believe in you

 

Mother:

I can’t do this

I can’t

I’ll try again when I’m ready

It’s not even alive yet

So it’ll be ok

He said he would leave me

My dad said I was stupid

And my mom…

She had such high hopes and dreams for me

I can still do it

I can make them proud

But not with this thing growing in me

It’s ok

It can’t feel anything

And later on ill be the best mother ever

But not now

I’m not ready


Details | Free verse | |

Dad

                           

You left us as the snow fell one cold December day
Six years ago soon it will be 
Every Christmas since is not the same
But God called you away that day

I wish we had talked more when you were alive
Stories of who you were as a child
But you did not have a good childhood 
And it caused you pain to remember

As a dad you worried to extreme I thought
Even about things you couldn’t change
I realize why after all these years
You were afraid of death and loss

You lost your father when you were a young teen
And this changed your world forever
Being the oldest your family depended on you
So childhood passed you by

I understand so much more now Dad
Your sacrifices you made in your life
I never thanked you for all you did
So I hope you can read this from heaven

In closing Dad I just want to say
I love you and miss you every day
Every time I watch a beautiful sunset
I think of you and say thank-you


Details | I do not know? | |

My Superman

When will all the pain and heartache go away?
Is this something that I must struggle with every day?
I just wish that things would have been a little different,
Maybe if I would have picked up the smallest little hint.
Maybe he would still be here today,
But now, in a grave is where his lifeless body lay.
I should have made my brother tell me what me what he knew,
I know he was only seven, but what if he knew what my dad would do.
What if I could have stopped by asking just one more time,
Maybe things would have turned out just fine.
If only I would have paid more attention, or loved him more,
Maybe he wouldn’t have questioned what he was living for.
I would giving anything to see him just for one minute,
To run into his arms, to say “this is it“.
Would I have anything to say,
Or would I just turn and walk away?
A daddy is supposed to be his little girl’s hero,
Her Superman, no matter how old she may grow.
Although my dad is gone I love him with all my heart,
I have questions that will never be answered, because from this life he chose to 
depart.
His problems were too big for him by himself,
I guess he had God sitting on an old dusty shelf.
I just wish he would have taken God off that shelf one last time,
Dusted Him off and said “God I need your help one more time.”
If he could hear me I would tell him my sisters and brother are growing up fast,
I wish I would have known that Christmas would be our last.
I would have hugged you just a little longer and tried to remember everything,
The smell of your cologne, your voice, but I didn’t know what that day in January 
would bring.
I didn’t know that it would seem as if my world had come to an end,
At that point everything stood still, time, even the wind.
Now my Superman is gone forever,
But if he can here me, I won’t forget you or stop loving you daddy…not ever.
8/9/04


Details | I do not know? | |

Dads Are Supposed To Stay

I used to call you "Daddy", once upon and day. 
However, you left me; Dad's are supposed to stay. 
Now you are gone, this time forever. You went where you will never get older. 
I had a chance to see you this time before you left, I chose not to. I hope without 
regret. 
I was mad at you, and I feel I have that right. You let go of me without putting up a 
fight. 

I miss the dad that loved my Mother. I miss the dad that always put his family 
before another. I miss the dad that did let drugs make him skinny and look sick. 
I miss the dad that never raised a hand. I miss the dad who took care and 
supported his family like a man. 

I remember when I was young; you called me "Dandy". I remember when just 
your Family made you happy. 
That is the dad I miss. 
That is the dad I regret not giving that last hug and kiss. 



~MzPoEtIc_BrAnDiEe


Details | I do not know? | |

my last words

I’m sorry I couldn’t be there to see you depart to tell you these three words I hold in my heart, dad I love you in that will never change, you was a great man and one day I wish to be the same, you taught me everything I know and I thank you I just wish you didn’t have to go, I remember back when I was a kid you use to laugh and joke with me that was fun wasn’t it, but remembering things like that just make it harder for me to write this, but your my dad I don’t care what anybody say, I love you so so much I just sorry I have to tell you this way, this man help my family for as long as I could remember going against the rules to make sure we wouldn't suffer, he gave me two people I could call mom and dad for that my love for you will always last I know it’s been a while since we last seen each other, but I know you still look out for me dad I will always love you no matter what mom you was the other half that kept him strong but I guess it was time for him to go home but mom I know you will stay strong because I know you’re a strong woman I will always have you in my prayers and I’m truly am sorry I couldn’t be there I love you mom and dad


Details | Free verse | |

Story of my Life

Yesterday my parents got drunk and wasted like every night but my dad did not 
Have the right to say the things that were said and did now we all have tears to 
Shed. The story is simple it just goes like this my dad left the room with blood on 
His fist mumbling words witch were unknown but his voice had a very awkward 
tone 
Then he collapsed on the floor and I rushed into the open door. When I saw my 
Mom lying on the floor I grasped her tight and said, " I can’t take much more". 
Then she opened her eyes and not thinking right pushed me away and grabbed 
A knife she said her life was bad and that it was only getting worse and now she 
Was gonna brake this awful curse. She said she wasn’t meant to live with tears 
Running from her eyes but the sad part is she never said good bye with fear and 
Anger bestowed upon her face she happily cut herself out of the human race. 
She 
Grasped the knife tight as I pleaded not this way and she stabbed it through her 
Heart and with excruciating pain I grabbed her tight and never let go. But what 
Really caught my ears was when she told me please don’t cry, I was meant to 
die 
I’m happy and now I’m free. But how could she do this awful thing to me I loved 
Her so much but now all I can do is say be kind and helpful to your parents love 
Them more the anyone else and hold them tight cause it could only that one 
night 
For something to go wrong them they will be gone so please for me hold them 
Tight and even give them a kiss good night. My parents were drunk as usual and 
I 
Don’t believe they meant the things they said to me, my mom was sad and 
beaten 
By my dad, you see it can only take one stupid mistake from someone else to 
Cause so much pain, and tears will be shed and my story will go on till everyone 
Is dead. I love my mom so much but now all I can do is pray that she is happy 
And that I can see her again but I hope deep and within that she will be my 
Guardian angel my blessing from above but all I need now is a parent with love.


Details | Narrative | |

A soldier's daughter

There once was a girl with pale blond hair.
	
	She went with her family one day to a fair.

	They played lots of games and ate lots of food.

	But none of this seemed to brighten the child's mood.

	So they went to the park and swung for a while.

	Her parents silently wishing to see their little girl smile.

	But deep inside she still felt sad.

	For she knew something terrible about her dad.

	Tomorrow her dad would be going far far away.

	To a place that's fighting nearly everyday.

	She knows her dad is a very strong man.

	Still she fears she'll never see him again.

	The years go by and she grows older.

	Living each day the daughter of a fallen soldier.

	There once was a woman with pale blond hair.

	Who found out too early that life doesn't always play fair.


Details | I do not know? | |

stil continued sorry so long

stood still,” has never been more real to me than in that moment.  I tried to tell 
myself it wasn’t real, but those words that my mom spoke as we walked in the 
house, “he’s gone,’ kept ringing through my head louder than anything.  It was 
silent, other than the sobs.  I have never heard silence be so loud.  I kept 
thinking, “how can my dad be gone, this can’t be real, maybe this is a mistake, 
not my daddy.”
	I am writing this book because I want others to know that they aren’t 
alone.  I want others to know that it’s okay to have questions and that it’s okay to 
feel the way you do as long as you don’t come to rest on those feelings.  I was 
very angry for a long, long time.  I didn’t understand how a loving God would let 
my dad do something like this.  Now I understand, we have free will.  We make 
our own decisions and those decisions have consequences, and when you have 
a family, and you love people and are loved by people those consequences don’t 
only affect you, they affect everyone around you.  In this book you will find poems 
from a few months after my dad passed away until just recently and it’s been six 
year.  I hope this brings some comfort to you an gives you hope.  It may seem like 
your world is falling apart, but don’t give up.  In these poems you may find that 
you have the same feelings or the same questions. I can’t promise you that you’ll 
find an answer, but I can promise you that even though it may not seem like it 
now, that it will get easier. You will be able to begin to live your life if you choose 
to.  Sometimes the past will hinder us, but we have to learn to let go and let God.  
I would not have made it to the point I am in my life now had I not learned to lean 
on God.  I tried for a long time to hide the pain, hide the feelings, and hide from 
God when all along all I needed to do was run to God because He was waiting 
for me, just like He’s waiting for you.  I can’t sit here and say there aren’t times 
when I still wonder why or what I could have done, but I do know that it has gotten 
easier.  There are still days where I question what I could have done and I think 
about my dad everyday, but I am trying to learn more and more everyday to give 
every piece of it to God.  


Details | Free verse | |

An Unexpected Thanksgiving

That morning, I thought I was dreaming
I heard my Dad say it, but I thought my ears were playing tricks on me
I didn't expect for this to happen to you
Well, at least not this soon

My Dad and aunts said they saw it coming
But the news to me was shocking
Every other time, you always pulled through
But this time, you must have been tired and answered when God called you

It seemed unreal to me
Because I was so use to you coming home and recovering
That's why it took me by surprise
When she called and said that you died

I thought I would've been brave and not shed a tear
But seeing that casket made it a reality that you were no longer here
I couldn't hold back the tears that were falling from my eyes
Because it had finally hit me that we were about to say our good-byes

They had you dressed so pretty in your bone white dress
And you laid nice and peaceful in your white casket
You looked so wonderful laying in your final rest
Knowing that you're now in peace and quiet

I still can't believe that you're gone to this day
But you lived a good life and it was your time to go away
We didn't wanted to let you go on that Thursday
But we had to on the twenty-eighth

My eyes filled with tears as I wrote this
Because even though you're gone, my love for you still exists
From that Thursday to that Wednesday, your children reminisced
About the old days with you and how you will be missed

I hope and pray that my sister and I won't face losing our parents no time soon
Because I look at us and see how we cried and miss you
I tell my family that I love them every day and night
Because I never know when it's going to be one of our time

To Grandma Lillian E. Glover
December 25, 1930-November 22, 2007
Missed sadly by loved ones


Details | I do not know? | |

thinking of writing a book

I am thinking of putting all of my poems in a book.  I have around 80-90 of them.  
This is what I have come up with so far for an intro.  Your comments will be 
greatly appreciated.  This may take two entries so be sure to check.  Thank you.

My life has always been a little different.  My parents divorced when I was 4 years 
old so that meant every other weekend and for a month in the summer I was with 
my dad, other than that I was living with my mom.  The atmospheres at each 
house were quite different.  Now, not o say that both parents didn’t love me 
because I know they did, but they were two completely different environments.  My 
dad liked to drink and there was usually quite a shindig at his house, my mom’s 
was always a little more relaxed and “family oriented” so to speak.  We went to 
church with my mom every Sunday and it wasn’t always so with my dad.  My dad 
remarried for the first time when I was about 6 or 7.  He and this woman had a 
baby and shortly after divorced.  After the divorce my half-sister and her mom 
moved to Michigan, we didn’t get to se a lot of her and eventually my dad let her 
step-dad adopt her and that changed a lot of things.  My dad remarried again 
when I was about 8 or 9.  He and this woman, Sheila, had two children.  She was 
the love of his life and she is an amazing woman.  My mom remarried for the first 
time when I was 11.  The marriage lasted for about 7 years. He was very 
controlling and they divorced, it was probably the best thing for all of us.  My mom 
remarried again when I was 19.  He is a wonderful man; I have never seen my 
mom as happy as she is now.  His name is Don.  I now have a total of 9 siblings, 
I don’t get to see all of them very often, but it’s always interesting.
	When I was 15 is when my world was turned completely upside 
down.


Details | Cowboy | |

Those Odessa Days

(A remembrance of driving to the auction in Odessa, Missouri.)

You’re bumpin’ down the highway in that ol’ pickup truck,
Just a kid slowly tunin’ in a radio that plays—
Headin’ for the stock auction with your dad and some luck—
A part of history, back in those Odessa days.

Dad will be biddin’ on some calves to haul way back home—
He fancies doin’ more farmin’ like in younger days—
He left the farm more than twenty years ago to roam,
To find a town job and turn his back on farmin’ ways.

But the land stays in your blood and someday you go back,
If not in bone and muscle, at least within your mind—
And you seek a part of youth—that’s just a natural fact,
For you’re always on the outlook for what you’ll never find.

You roll past green pastures and that churnin’ Mighty Mo,
Count the silos, barns and the cattle as you drive past—
Music fills the truck with songs of love and eatin’ crow—
Cowboys, beer, bar fights and pickups—things that never last. 

That ol’ black pickup rattles and bucks just like a bronc,
Its days, just like the horses, will soon come to an end—
And as we reach the auction, my dad pulls up to honk:
A ritual of completion for a son and now a friend.

And when we head on home with those calves all loaded up,
We’ll turn on that radio and sing in one sweet haze—
For in just a few years, there will sit dad’s empty cup
And there will just be memories of those Odessa days.        



Details | Bio | |

Battle scarred

These are the things i remember the most,
My dad kept moving from coast to coast.

For a minute i thought he was running from me,
 in the end i knew it was his destiny.

The woman he married, oh how brutal it was,
the fear and the damage and oh god the drugs.

They say he was the toughest man in this town,
 did they mean every time he knocked his wife down?

I remember the time he shoved a gun in her mouth,
 shaved off  her hair off, told her not to pout.

He had a maniacial laugh and possessed fists of rage,
his moods swung so far, he was difficult to gauge.

Though i 've never seen him get knocked down,
he was quick with his anger to throw her on the ground.

I recall him saying he'd not want to grow old,
well he sure got his wish on that night oh so cold.

On that night he did die, when his wish did come true,
her empty gun by her side, spilled his blood through and through.

She had a need to make my dad bleed,
now that he's gone there'll be no promises to keep.

She told of the hurt and the pain and of sorrow,
what she neglected to tell was of the gun she had borrowed.

We'll never truely know what really happened that night,
but i can attest to you, it was the fight of all fights.

He in a pickup, and she on a horse,
it came to an end when he crashed into a house.

The authorities took a long look at my dad,
and determined by looks alone he was bad
.
Shaved head  and muscles were not their first clue,
they were afraid of his canvas, his many tattoo's.

What they did'nt know is she was given the gun,
by a man she'd soon marry, now their both on the run.

If they had all the facts they'd have looked at her twice,
and seen her agenda was clearly not nice.

This is murder i tell you, though how do i prove it?
She put those bullets in him like there was nothing to it.

The man who provided  the gun on that night?
Well  he walked away with the prize from that fight.

And the one thing that dad sacrificed was his life,
from the gun and the bullets that came from his wife.

I've grieved his loss every day thirty years now,
if i was going to feel better, well would'nt i somehow?



(In no way do i condone the abuse my father inflicted
upon my step mother nor do condone cheating or murder.
I was young (18) and unfortunately looked up to  my dad
through rose colored glasses. Another of my crosses
to bear in life.)


 


Details | I do not know? | |

The Day When

Just another day
I was eight
My sister ten
The day when

Aunt Alice tried to explain
I didn't comprehend
My sister screamed would not believe
The day when

Whispers everywhere
I did not know or care
Wendy older as they tried to hold her
The day when

Mum came home from the hospital
I met her at the front door
Only when I saw her tears. 
Did I know
The day when

Only as I saw her cry
Did my own tears flow from my eyes
But only because I didn't want her to cry and not because 
The day when

He lay in the hospital morgue
My sister and I talked
We saw a shooting star - to us our dad saying goodbye 
The day when

We were shipped off to relatives in Kent
The day our dad went into the ground
But never seeing was never certain be would not come home again 
The day when

The day when
A wonderful man died
My father a man who loved me without question 
Was ripped from my life

No one could have predicted
The nightmare that would begin
As our mother held us and said we would be OK 
The day when


Details | Rhyme | |

On Father's Day

  I never knew my Father
though he came home every night,
I guess we didn't bother,
to talk or laugh or fight.

  He just came in and out the door,
he doesn't do that anymore,
caring can be such a chore,
and I can't put it right.

  My brother up and ran away,
although his body chose to stay,
and still ole Dad had naught to say,
at least not that I heard.

  My mother was a wanton child,
who roamed around the world so wild,
so beautiful and full of guile,
a bright exotic bird.

  Dad caged her in as best he could,
and truly for the greater good,
I'd like to ask him if I could,
my thoughts on that are blurred.

  A quiet observer I became,
I never even had a name,
they seemed tohate their daily game,
and yet the pot they stirred.

  Still ole Dad,I have to say,
I miss you since you went away,
your death has caused us all to pray,
and that's as you preferred.


Details | I do not know? | |

A man like no other

He was A man like no other 
he gave me something I never had a father 
I fought and screamed I didn't want him I wanted the one who gave me life 
not the one who wanted my mother as his wife 
I made his life hard I made him misreble 
but in the long run he was with us 
he held on tight threw all the trouble stuck by us even though I was contrite
long into the relationship he stayed and Dad he became 
unconditional love and happiness came from the man that was like no other and 
on the day of December 12 I held his had as he took his last breath and I said I 
will love you always DAD !


Details | I do not know? | |

Father's Regret

There was a day long ago, something happened for a reason, 
Which made my Mom and Dad sad every Christmas Season.

They relived the tragedy over and over in their heads, 
I know there were times my Dad wished he were the one that was dead.

There wasn’t a day gone by they didn’t think about her life,
And all the pain and agony cut them like a knife.

My Mom being her best friend and my Dad being her man,
One of the biggest wishes in life was to once more hold her hand.

They told me stories all the time I felt I knew her too,
And, I always try to tell my Dad there was nothing you could do.

Everything happens for a reason some say, just be strong and always pray.
My Dad always said when I die there I need to say one thing
That I am sorry for what I’ve done, being said while the angels sing.

He carried around the pain for approximately thirty years, 
He carried it so often; my family shed so many tears.

The bible says your loved ones can see you from up there, 
That we cannot see them, is what I feel is not fair.

But I know they will meet again on one glorious day,
And God will keep them safe from harm in every single way.