Would You Be My Concubine?

I've asked this of many women, And get strange looks towards my way, And in all honesty, I think I ought to say, What the hell is a concubine?? Is it an imprisoned porcupine? I just don't really know, But, ask it I do, often, With results too easy to show, That's not a healthy rosy cheek, But face-slaps I seem to seek, Stings like all hell, Oh, what, by God, do tell... What the hell am I saying aloud, And why does it leave me less than proud? Gotta' get me one'a dem fancy dik-shun-arees Else I be beaten down to my knees..........