Within Myself Sept 5 2011

So far buried beneath a mound of pain, the surface now polished washed clean by the rain. Carried through by the pre-manifestation's that dwell deep inside, or is it the overpowering accusations causing the waterfall of tears I have cried. The light at the end of the tunnel has burnt out, only to be left with stacks of insecurity and doubt. Lost in the dark with no ideas or visions, all alone, scared and unable to make any of my own decisions. My frame of mind has been setback to childlike stages, with many countless unbecoming fiery pits of rages. Helpless as can be, Am I'm loosing my mind? Someday's I wish it's my entire life I could rewind. If only I could get back to what I used to be, A woman that was happy, wild, alive and free. I used to carry my freedom securely and by myself, with my fears locked away on the highest shelf. I have already given all of my heart and my devotion, with many tears, with many laughs, along with many other emotions. I would trade anything to be "normal" again, I pray most of everyday for a miracle, "Dear Lord, Amen."