Why?

My body. Fragile, soft, and pathetic No mass lies on these bones Conditions worsen as days pass Pushing myself harder Crashing back down from laziness.. Why? My Education. Possible, easy, yet failed No assignment seems worthy tonight Percentages drop as paper weight multiplies Trying to make time for completion Forgetting to focus by choice.. Why? My Love. Needed, ready, but confused No girl appears ideal to blind eyes Relationships die as care turns to lust Discovering what I really want Crushing every great opportunity.. Why? My Music. Loved, practiced, and frozen No songs nourished enough to exist Strumming continuously with no result Playing and listening with so much care Creating no worthy product in the end.. Why? My Mind. Open, understanding, but inexperienced No useful knowledge recorded often A beautiful possibility gone to waste Imagining and believing with good intentions Shot down and killed by the majority and self.. Why? My Future. Foreseen, exciting, yet hopeless No motivation lifting me from my chair There's no reason for my excuses Burning desires scream for my success Extinguished by self-pity and realization.. Why? My Problem. Wishing I could say from where it generated Mistakes are increasing in number and intensifying Denying outside hands while knowing mine are dependent All I believe I need is a guiding hand.. Or maybe I'm just a mental malfunction.. Why do I feel this way? Why does everyone love me? What is wrong with me? Is there something I'm not doing right? Can I not escape this insanity I've created? How can I escape this cloud of disgust? I just want to know.. .. Why?