Who I Am

I’m lost within myself There’s nothing I can see There’s nothing inside that reminds me of all I strived to be I question my religion I bathe in indecision I’m stuck in this collision of who I am and who I want to be I’m a beast unto myself An animal trapped inside his cage There’s a piece of me that could bring peace to me but I’m keeping it at bay Day in and day out The person I always thought I’d be begs me for his freedom I hear me scream I hear me shout I here me fight for my desired existence My bleeding heart is drowning me from the inside out as I let the outside in I betray myself I’m beside myself I’m stuck here inside myself suffocating in my own skin burning in my own sin wishing for something I’ve never been let me out don’t keep me in I can’t escape from me I’m blinding myself so I can’t see the rotting corpse of who I want to be My past is there My present’s here My future is what I can’t achieve I can’t believe I ever let this happen to me I’m growing more lost frantically searching for what I could be trying to save what used to be me my hope is fading am I worth saving? Is there any hope for me? Fighting for my freedom to save myself from me fighting for my right to breathe inside myself fighting for the hope of escaping from myself I could just give up like I did a long time ago but I could never be a better person though should I carry on? I can’t take this anymore I’m fighting for who I was before but I keep closing that door on myself as I sit here and wonder how hard will it be to save what used to be me?