When Will It Be My Turn?

For so long now Ive missed you all. You've left without goodbye. All endings that were unprepared. Why did you have to die? My heart was ripped away from me. My tears will always flow. It seemed like when I started to heal someone else would go. My son. My mother. My sister. My friends. It seemed to never end. All alone I dealt with death. How many funerals can one attend? Death followed me with everything. it took all that I had. The right to be called an only son. A brother. A friend. A dad. It caused me to be scared of attachment. If I'm distant, nobody can be close. Ive lost the ones who had my heart, the ones that meant the most. My life is full of memories that cause me to cry inside. Every time I lost someone a piece within me died. And still I stand not knowing how but I'm standing all alone. I miss you more and more each day. When will it be my turn to go home?