What I Am Looking For

Dear God, What am I looking for? I speak to you each day, I talk about my brother, And the things that I would say. But did I mention God, That I'm doing really good? I live with my boyfriend, I moved out of my neighborhood. Dear God, I am happy, As happy as I can be, There are still some hurtful moments, But I don't cry enough to fill the sea. So what am I looking for, Do you have the wisdom to know? Do I want him to come find me, Or do I just want the peace you could bestow. Sometimes I feel like I can't forgive him, For leaving me without the last bits of my family, When I think about my anger it's grim. I need to remind myself that he was sinking when he'd try to swim. Dear God, What do I want? I just want him to walk back into my life.