Untutored Chef

I've done alot'a dumb things, Some of the dumbest in the kitchen, Like pizza dough wrapped meatloaf, Usually all so good, But once made with lemon flavored breadcrumbs......as gross as it sounds.... Gotta read the label, tom, Biggest fool around! I can remember cooking a Thanksgiving meal, Instead of turkey, I got such a deal!!! And roasted a buzzard... And the chickens I've cooked With the inners packages still inside, That kind of Tomfoolery Is hard to hide.... And how come the potatoes disappeared In my pea soup? Alien abduction? Is that how low they'd stoop? And why'd my corn fritters... Taste more like cow flop?? French fries made from Mr. Potatoe Head? Was my mind really that dead? And Beer Pie, Made by freezing beer, In a cooked shell... Sounded good, Tasted like h_ll, That's what you get, When your cook's tom bell.