Twelve Days of Christmas

His young bride took The Twelve Days of Christmas to extreme extremes! His true love kept piling on useless stuff well beyond his wildest dreams! On the First Day of Christmas she gave him a shovel for shoveling snow! On the Second Day of Christmas she gave him a cheap jug of Red Bordeaux! On the Third Day of Christmas he was presented with a scruffy mutt! On the Fourth Day of Christmas he received a one-way ticket to Terre-Haute! On the Fifth Day of Christmas she graced his skull with a silly beanie cap! On the Sixth Day of Christmas she handed him an African contour map! On the Seventh Day of Christmas he got a used Michelin radial tire! On the Eighth Day of Christmas he was stunned to receive a roll of barbed wire! On the Ninth Day of Christmas he received a membership in the Red Hat Society! On the Tenth Day of Christmas a collection of buttons - a most bizarre variety! On the Eleventh Day of Christmas a parrot that spoke dirty words so gross! On the Twelfth Day of Christmas he got a Visa Card bill leaving him morose! He was underwhelmed by all her generosity but thought it mighty *****, And was so thankful that Christmas came around just once a year! Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired © All Rights Reserved