Tom's Semi-Annual Clearance Event!!!

Come One!!! Come Alll!!!! See the unbeievable!!! It's Tom's Semi-Annual Clearance Event!!!! No, I'm not selling cars... I'm not selling furniture.... I'm tossing all the junk I usually just look at and sigh!!! Garbage, all sorts Of dreck-a-brick!!! Hurry, best seats go first!!!! Call Ticketron for Imfo.....(800) tom-bullst!! First 500 callers get a promotional visit from our beloved Billy Mays!!!!! So Act Now!!!! Don't be left out!!! Promotional surgical masks provided by Deluxe Vacs... Remember, "If it's a Deluxe, It Really Sucks!!" Co-writer, cousin "Duke", (Peter Pitrelli)...responsible for the kick-line, oopppsss, I meant punch-lime....(Duh.!!.. , dis iz watt haponds wehn uoy takie Karat-ee two long.....)