To the Indoorsman

If bugs and spiders make you cringe And snakes make you feel queasy; If weeds and nettles make you itch And pollen makes you sneezy; If fresh air tends to give you hives, Perhaps your best decision: Close all the windows and the doors, And turn on television. If hiking doesn't light your fire, And you find sunsets boring; If birding's not your cup of tea, And campfires set you snoring; If the thought of fishing leaves you cold, And at earthworms you can't look, Then save yourself some time and grief-- Stay in and read a book.