The Window

pain is the return to a state of forgotten consciousness that lost land in the mind that went away but bubbles up like boiling acid amidst a sea of rusty metal pain the gain of nothingness only reminders of what was lost a small child crying for its mother a friend beyond reach the window, the birds fly free staring out upon a world of small people walking crying, dying, moving on all free, except me in a small box wanting to be free wanting to fly, cry, die, move on the wall cracks open just a little the door cracks upon a little more the window swings open with a rush of cool wind blows the tears the sweat, everything but the pain as i crawl towards the wind the freedom the mountain on high i see below me the people like a boy upon the ant hill i fall, flapping my wings but realizing it just doesn't work that way down down down down to nothing back where i started before only different this time my outside a reflection of my inside painful and beaten to a bloody beginning