The Vacuous Man

I drink... Alone, all the time, always thinking, About past times that should have been. I should have done this, I should have done that, I never get the chance to do anything, Because nothing ever goes my way, As I'm too busy anyhow, My bravery is diminished just for now And life's dreams will be fulfilled another day... And confrontational pressure will soon go away. My life is a struggle, and Like dead weight, I plop back down, A tiring sigh befits my frown, Viscous is my life's blood, Laziness is my likelihood, I am a self-trapped man. Self-esteem, non-existent, Life is sucked out, numbed is my soul, Nothing here, no spirit left, Nothing but skin and bones. Imminent is my digress, Divest of intellectual progress. I go over the events in my mind, The portrayal of my life, and I shine, It's so exciting, yet so elusive, My drunkenness has gotten me stupid, Once again. For I relished the vivid, savor the imagined Wallowing in what could have happened And afraid to take the real first step. I'm swirling, swirling, swirling, Filled with sameness and frustration, Face red and swollen With the day's libation, Eyes are glazed, mind on vacation, My true reality, always distant, The ice cracks and pops to the marriage of spirits and I drink...