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The Point of No Return

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I tried to reason with you, but you turned your back on me Tears formed in my eyes so blue, but you turned your back on me. When I arranged to meet, you said you were working till late - Then I saw you out with Sue, but you turned your back on me. What went so wrong between us - I thought everything was fine You swore rumours were untrue, but you turned your back on me. Our son misses his daddy; he’s too young to understand I prayed each night we weren’t through, but you turned your back on me. I can’t understand why you walked out on your family Why you’ve bid us both adieu, but you turned your back on me. Syllable checked with how many syllables – 14 per line. Ghazal form H/M in original Contest which was judged in March Submitted to second chance #2 contest Sponsored by Broken Wings awarded 1st place 4/14/16 Submitted to First place only contest sponsored by Laura Loo 03~19~16

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Carrie Richards

Date: 10/23/2016 7:50:00 PM

The repeated line makes the poem stand out even more! Well done, Jan !!!

Jan Allison
Date: 10/24/2016 3:52:00 AM

Thanks Carrie:-) I had never written this form before and got an HM in the original contest but a first with Constance. It is a sad sad poem:-( hugs Janxx

Agnes Krampe

Date: 10/23/2016 7:45:00 PM

Congrats, Jan. What a sad situation :(

Jan Allison
Date: 10/24/2016 3:51:00 AM

Thanks Agnes:-) hugs Jan xx

Darren White

Date: 10/23/2016 1:50:00 PM

Congrats Jan ;) I love this poem of yours!

Jan Allison
Date: 10/23/2016 2:08:00 PM

Thanks Darren I can write serious stuff too - thankfully the sad stuff is from my imagination:-) But I know for some it is a sad reality:-( hugs Jan xx

Phillip Garcia

Date: 10/23/2016 11:05:00 AM

I guess everyone's crying today. This is twice now this poem has brought me to full weep. I hope you've been well, I miss ya you know?

Jan Allison
Date: 10/23/2016 12:17:00 PM

I've not been active on soup as much Phillip find it hard to keep up with reads, comments and writing especially at the moment:-) I am well thanks for asking :-) hugs Jan xx

Lu Loo

Date: 10/23/2016 10:36:00 AM

so true about so many marriages with children involved too. Heartbreaking Jan, loved it. Congratulations on your placement and thank you for being a part of my contest :)-luloo

Jan Allison
Date: 10/23/2016 12:16:00 PM

I got an n/a first time round Luloo and was so grateful it placed well in Constance's contest and now in yours:-) hugs Jan xx

Reason A. Poteet

Date: 4/28/2016 2:35:00 PM

How appropriate to so many breakups - far too many though this is fictional in your life. Both prayers and reasoning do not always turn as as we wish-great choice for the repeating line of this ghazal.

Jan Allison
Date: 4/28/2016 4:08:00 PM

Unfortunately there are so many break downs in relationships - I really enjoyed this challenge as it was my first attempt at this form:-) hugs jan xx

Poet Destroyer A

Date: 4/27/2016 11:20:00 PM

Jan, Congratulations on your "Second Chance #2 WIN." Love LINDA

Jan Allison
Date: 4/28/2016 2:28:00 AM

Many thanks Linda:-) hugs Jan xx

Sandra Haight

Date: 4/17/2016 3:49:00 PM

Hi Jan, congratulations on your First Place win in the second chance contest! Hugs, Sandra

Jan Allison
Date: 4/17/2016 3:53:00 PM

Thanks Sandra I do like these second chance contests to give us the opportunity to showcase a poem again :-) hugs Jan xx

Vladislav Raven

Date: 3/29/2016 5:35:00 PM

Hi Jan, an emotional write. An excellent write, it goes into my faves. Congratulations on your win in the contest....Vlad.

Jan Allison
Date: 3/29/2016 5:38:00 PM

Many thanks Mike I do appreciate your support:-) hugs Jan xx

Joanna Daniel

Date: 3/28/2016 2:09:00 AM

A heart touching write:) loved the simplicity and the flow of it:) congratulations on your HM:)

Jan Allison
Date: 3/28/2016 5:38:00 AM

Thanks Jo:-) hugs Jan xx

Poet Destroyer A

Date: 3/27/2016 11:59:00 AM

Jan, thank you for replying to my comment. Pd

Poet Destroyer A

Date: 3/27/2016 9:34:00 AM

Great win Jan... Congrats. Pd

Jan Allison
Date: 3/27/2016 11:43:00 AM

Thanks so much Linda:-) hugs jan xx

James Inman

Date: 3/27/2016 8:58:00 AM

Oh Jan, such a sad but beautiful write. I'm glad to see it was fiction. Well done!

Jan Allison
Date: 3/27/2016 9:04:00 AM

Thanks James:-) hugs jan xx

Brian Davey

Date: 3/27/2016 2:07:00 AM

So very sad of a story here Jan, congrats on your placement I hope it didn't cause you too much pain to put to paper

Jan Allison
Date: 3/27/2016 8:36:00 AM

Thankfully for me it is total fiction Brian:-) hugs jan xx

Timothy Hicks

Date: 3/27/2016 12:05:00 AM

Congrats on your HM, Jan! A good first attempt at the ghazal form ... this seemed like a personal story to me, was it? I know I've probably asked this question on some of your other poems, too, but I'm always curious ... very sad situation, that many families fall victim too ... the hurt of betrayal ...

Jan Allison
Date: 3/27/2016 12:34:00 AM

No - thankfully its pure fiction for me Timothy:-)Hugs jan xx

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 3/21/2016 3:55:00 PM

hey, do you have anything I have never seen? Can't seem to find anything right now!

Jan Allison
Date: 3/21/2016 3:59:00 PM

I am sure there are lots lol - need to get writing and posting lol:-) hugs jan xx

Thomas Martin

Date: 3/20/2016 11:29:00 AM

Wonderful write, Jan.sorry have not been around foe a while!

Jan Allison
Date: 3/20/2016 11:31:00 AM

Lovely to see you back Thomas - I wasn't around much last week but am back writing again now:-)Hope you are well:-) hugs jan xx

Caycay Jennings

Date: 3/20/2016 7:07:00 AM

I know it is fiction so I was able to just enjoy the talent. This one is dramatic, very much so, which should serve it well. All the best ... CayCay

Jan Allison
Date: 3/20/2016 11:25:00 AM

It's my first attempt at this form - I still want to work on the final lines if I have time:-) hugs jan xx

Eve Roper

Date: 3/19/2016 9:58:00 PM

Oh l like this put a picture to it girl Hugs eve

Jan Allison
Date: 3/20/2016 5:31:00 AM

OMG Eve I've just realised my gold star is back - I'm a bit shocked and teary - the PM fairy has struck and I have someone to be so thankful to:-) I'm all emotional now:-) hugs jan xx

Pashang Salehi

Date: 3/19/2016 11:35:00 AM

Jan, This so beautiful....I hate Sue!!!

Pashang Salehi
Date: 8/4/2016 10:21:00 PM

You're so talented.... I read it again and I loved even more..

Jan Allison
Date: 3/19/2016 1:07:00 PM

LOL Pashang - thankfully it is a fictional write just for the contest:-) hugs Jan xx

Lenny Gazbowski

Date: 3/19/2016 8:14:00 AM

Very sad write.

Jan Allison
Date: 3/19/2016 8:22:00 AM

Thanks Lenny thankfully it is a fiction write for the contest:-) hugs Jan xx

Darren Knight

Date: 3/19/2016 4:57:00 AM

Good luck with the contest, Jan. This piece is sad, but beautifully articulated with each line and word you have put down. Great poem :)

Jan Allison
Date: 3/19/2016 5:34:00 AM

Thanks so much Darren:-) hugs Jan xx

White Sage

Date: 3/19/2016 3:39:00 AM

excellent ghazal, though sad, it's good this is fictional, best of luck in the contest Jan

Jan Allison
Date: 3/19/2016 5:34:00 AM

Thanks White Sage its my first attempt at this form:-) hugs Jan xx

Nette Onclaud

Date: 3/19/2016 1:27:00 AM

ohh, so nice to read you again, jan... stunning piece; did you get my mail?.. huggs

Jan Allison
Date: 3/19/2016 5:34:00 AM

Thanks Nette will reply soon:-) hugs Jan xx

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 3/18/2016 9:23:00 PM

hey, very nicely done, jan!! The one thing I don't really like about this form is putting our name in the third person. It's so strange to me when the rest of it uses I. Anyway, you thought up a good way to do it.

Jan Allison
Date: 3/19/2016 5:36:00 AM

I would prefer to use I and it keeps the anonymity too:-) hugs Jan xx