The Perfect Crime

Sheila Watters and her two young daughters were out for a stroll one day. When all of a sudden big Bertie McCrudden jumped out and blocked her way. "A couple of kisses from the little misses and then I,ll be out of your life". The ladies resisted but Bertie persisted, until he caught sight of his wife. She hopped down the road like a huge ugly toad and caught him by the scruff of the neck. "Get home at once you miserable dunce, and go quickly for heavens sake!" To Sheila she said, "I wish he was dead, but the brutes in perfect health." Then Sheila replied, "You know if he died, you,d get your hands on his wealth." The ladies conspired. A killer was hired to finally settle his hash. Having sown the seed a price was agreed, so they handed over the cash. The word of this hood was known to be good. And soon the dark deed was done. As he lay on his bed our man was shot dead. And no trace as found of the gun. Seeming demented his widow lamented and cried till her lungs were sore. But her heart was as black as the clothes on her back when the widows mantle she wore. But after a while she brightened her style, and found the living was good. She said "Isnt it funny, I,m spending more money than Old Bertie ever could". But Sheila, the pest, in remorse had confessed to her part in the evil plot. The widow and she, the judge did decree, should in prison for evermore rot. So if you are willing to profit from killing, please take note of this rhyme. The ladies were jailed, and therefore had failed, to commit the perfect crime.