The Old Prospector, the Crazy Old Fool

The Old Prospector, The Crazy Old Fool Folks said that nasty fool is a damn old bat times the bastard knows not where he is at Rumor is he lives in shame for murdering a man eats lizards and snakes, drinks from rusty can He eats snails, claiming it slows his pain wore a sombrero, his umbrella for the rain Chewed on his grubby food lightning fast swore hell was his garden if it only last Claimed he slept on a pleasant cactus bed had genius ideas always running in his head Knew the earth was only alien hunting ground had hid every strange thing he ever found On cold nights slept naked as he could be swore it put better leaves on his tree Always used a large rock for his pillow ate boiled bark from his weeping willow When asked how he knew this earth was flat said, if were round I not be where I am at Kept a rattle snake for his waking alarm declared it to be a friend doing him no harm Yet when he passed on they soon did find not all was crazy as all hell in his mind For hidden under his massive cactus bed buried deep were 700 bars not of lead Gold this old timer had been finding there his crazy act was to keep all thieves unaware Gold mine hidden underneath his shabby shack tunnel underground to rocky hill outback Lawyers found that he had a grandson at Yale claimed to be an orphan was his tale tale He had paid that boy's way into a great life making sure the kid experienced no strife His hoard tallied out to be five million bucks mine still producing hauled out by trucks Town-folks all were shocked and so damn amazed this old man they had thought to be so crazed In his will he left a note for his tombstone, Hell with you fools, my old tired ass is gone! I had fun seeing what dumbasses you all were my trick playing you ALL caused a big stir Grandson put the biggest tombstone on his grave wrote a best selling book on how gramps gave Exposed the bias of the arrogant fools in town folks laughed so hard they couldn't put it down! Robert J. Lindley Note: Poem is loosely written on the life of an old man about my former home-town, an old man they all called "Crazy Jim". One day, I talked to crazy Jim, he stopped acting crazy walked about town with me a teenager explaining all about the places and people for the last 40 years there. Not a single crazy word did the man utter. As we arrived back where our walk started he shook my hand and said, son I knew your dad well, he was an honest man, a good man. Then he walked off jabbering, back into his act... Later when I told people about it all -none of them believed me... I learned that people will absolutely refuse to accept when they've been played for fools. Will prefer to keep believing the lie..