One Hunch of a Tale

My cousin owned a beagle, A horny ol' dog; He hunched everything in sight, Even a hollow log I looked out on the lawn, What do you think I'd see? That peanut-head canine, Hunchin' on a tree Hunchin' on a bicycle, Hunchin' on a car; Hunchin' on a porcupine, Oh, what an awful scar!! I woke up one morning, Squeaks echoed through my head; And wouldn't you believe, He was hunchin' on my bed?! He never rolled over, Shake, fetch or beg; But he could work up a sweat, On the shin of your leg One day I had enough, I called my cousin on the phone; I shouted loud and clear... "He's hunchin' on a bone!!" That's when I realized, Milk and oil will never mix; Once again I shouted out... "Why don't you have him fixed?!!" My cousin then replied... "You know that ain't no good!" "It wouldn't be right, To take his manhood!" One day we went fishing, The sun was facing south; That silly ol' hound, Started hunchin' a cottonmouth! He took a fatal bite, The snake struck him again; Before we blinked an eye, He bolted in the wind! Deep within the forest, Searching frantically; We found our horny friend, As dead as he could be The moral to this story, Be kind to your pet; If you're not a breeder, Please call your local vet!