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The Game

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Below is the poem entitled The Game which was written by poet sidewalker 1. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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The Game

As he passed third, her warm touch.
My heart raced with the runner.
Another Red Sox homer.
Smack...Slap! Out at first.

* For Francine Roberts "Red" members contest

* If Andrea was confused (see below) I thought I better provide context. A fellow is with a lady at a ballgame. They get excited in the moment of a big play, he a little too much and she doesn't let him get to first base, just yet. The game shouldn't be that easy.

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  1. Date: 3/5/2011 8:14:00 AM
    excellent write... Julie

  1. Date: 2/21/2011 1:27:00 PM
    Excellent use of form please enter it in the We aren't Japanese but Please contest! Light & Love [got to take off stuff on bottom it's running to the horizon on the right]

  1. Date: 2/6/2011 12:36:00 AM
    WEll, I knew it was based on that premise, Scott. I hope you SCORE with this one! Luv, Andrea

  1. Date: 2/3/2011 9:42:00 PM
    oh, man, once you told me about "smack", the whole poem finally clicked for me. I was thinking "he" was with "her" in line one, but in reality, YOU are with "her" as you are both watching "him." right? Understanding that, I think Smack IS a good word. I am kind of dense to get things sometimes. I think it depends on the person reading this, how clear it will be! But I think I get it now. LUv, Andrea

  1. Date: 2/3/2011 1:32:00 PM
    I like the analogy you used. I guessed you meant out at first (base) and was wondering how he got home if he was out at first.

  1. Date: 2/3/2011 12:54:00 PM
    Nice write on the theme of red, Scott