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The Embrace

The embrace made me into the woman that stands before you. Silently your love entered into my heart Healing it as your touch caressed my body and soul Unknown to me my heart was in love with you and at the same time my mind keeps reflecting on my past embraces But without the feeling of lost because you gave me your heart with no cost You embraced me like I was your first love and in return you are mine Re-write with Mentor Mary Oliver Rotman 8-13-15 The Embrace The embrace made me the women that stands before you. Silently your love entered my heart Healing it as your touch caressed my body and soul Unknown to me my heart was in love with you and at the same time my mind keeps reflecting on past embraces But without the feeling of loss because you gave me your heart with no cost You embraced me like I was your first love and in return you are mine.

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Mary Rotman

Date: 8/13/2015 5:10:00 PM

WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING! PLEASE DELETE THIS AS REPLIES. AGAIN, I AM SO SORRY.

April Walter Skyy
Date: 8/13/2015 6:49:00 PM

I don't have a delete option.

Mary Rotman

Date: 8/13/2015 5:09:00 PM

The embrace made me the woman WHO* stands before you. Silently, your love entered my heart Healing and caressing my body and soul. UNBEKNOWNST**to me, my heart already loved you.*** And now, when I reflect on past embraces,**** I feel no sense of loss because you gave your heart at no cost. You embraced me as though***** as though I were****** your first love and, in return, you are mine. April, why don't we move to regular email where there's more room. My email is romtmanmo@gmail.com

Mary Rotman

Date: 8/13/2015 4:51:00 PM

I had that comment in a soup mail box. It was kitten=bombed and became a reply. So sorry. Can you delete it? LINE NUMBERS Line 6: Unknown to me, my heart loved you OR my heart already loved you. This changes the line to active voice and makes it more poetic Line 7; It is "reflecting" not "reflexing." Again I would recommend "my mind reflects" instead of "my mind keeps reflecting" Line 9: loss not lost--still rhymes Line 10: eliminate "me"

Mary Rotman

Date: 8/13/2015 4:46:00 PM

LINE NUMBERS Line 6: Unknown to me, my heart loved you OR my heart already loved you. This changes the line to active voice and makes it more poetic Line 7; It is "reflecting" not "reflexing." Again I would recommend "my mind reflects" instead of "my mind keeps reflecting" Line 9: loss not lost--still rhymes Line 10: eliminate "me" I will piece together a poem with changes (didn 't require much) in new mail. And please forgive my errors--I have a kitten that likes to jump onto my keyboard.

Mary Rotman
Date: 8/13/2015 4:47:00 PM

so sorry. Kitten damage. I'll try to remove this comment and put it back in soup mail wher it belongs.