A corkscrew on a chilly night
To him and me a great delight
It's very cold, a sharp frost bite
We'll drink up while we're able.
It matters little what's for tea
The two of us - just him and me
Scrambled eggs - maybe we'll see
Cos' the corkscrew's on the table.
We taste and sip and drink our fill
We ramble on and on until -
The wine is cheap - there's no big bill
It says "Lidyl" on the label.
His nose gets red and his cheeks are so
I dim the lights and the candles glow
Chopin plays, it's turned down low
Please God, I hope he's stable.
Another bottle's opened up
Not as nice, it's cheaper stuff
Now I think I'll call his bluff
Though I wonder if he's able.
The moon shines in, a bright full moon
Chopin's playing his last tune
Hoping for romance quite soon
But the whole thing's like a fable.
I had to carry him to bed
In my negligee, "buzz off" he said
He weighed just like a lump of led
And I was barely able.
My valentine began to snore
I felt I couldn't take "no more"
So while he lay sleeping, I got tore
Down at my kitchen table