Get Your Premium Membership

Intoxicated

Poet's Notes
(Show)

Become a Premium Member and post notes and photos about your poem like Jan Allison.


 

Original title - THE BOTTOM OF THE BOTTLE - REALITY CHECK

I’ve had a stark reality check Lost my job, oh what the heck Tears fall freely from my eye As I survey bills piled mountain high I’ve lived all my life at full throttle Got gripped by a demon contained in a bottle Alcohol has taken its toll on me I’m a pitiful wreck for all to see Folks find me lying in a gutter Drunk again my neighbours utter My wife has left me; I hang my head in shame But I’m an alcoholic – I have no one else to blame Lost my dignity, my family and I know the reason why If I don’t give up the booze I’ve been told that I could die I realise I need help to cure my addiction Get back to normality, reduce my stress and friction I’ve had a stark reality check I need just one more drink… oh what the heck FICTIONAL WRITE 2nd place in Reality Check Contest judged on 05~20~15 Submitted to Second Place contest sponsored by Laura Loo title changed to Intoxicated for 'I'' Contest New or Old Poetry Contest sponsored by Constance la France 05~19~16

Copyright © | Year Posted 2016




Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem.

Please Login to post a comment

Date: 9/15/2021 5:31:00 AM
Jan, very good, congratulations on your win in my "I" contest with this beautifully penned poem, well done ~ love and serenity _Constance
Login to Reply
Date: 9/10/2021 10:07:00 PM
Wonderful fictional write, yet, full of facts about alcoholism. Beautiful Work. Congratulations!
Login to Reply
Date: 10/24/2016 7:37:00 PM
Such vivid imagery of such a sad addiction, Jan. You captured it well in this poem. Congratulations on your fine placement in this Premiere Contest. Hugs, Sandra
Login to Reply
Date: 10/24/2016 5:22:00 PM
so sadly beautiful Jan..this touched home for me...congratulations on your placement and thank you for being in my contest :)-luloo
Login to Reply
Allison Avatar
Jan Allison
Date: 10/24/2016 6:15:00 PM
Thanks LuLoo it is such a sad poem and addiction affects so many lives:-( hugs jan xx
Date: 5/21/2016 1:38:00 AM
Congratulations on your awesome poem and win, Jan. The last lines were just bang on. ~karam~
Login to Reply
Allison Avatar
Jan Allison
Date: 5/22/2016 4:30:00 PM
Thanks so much Karam:-) hugs Jan xx
Date: 5/20/2016 2:06:00 PM
Congratulations Jan on the placement of the contest
Login to Reply
Allison Avatar
Jan Allison
Date: 5/22/2016 4:31:00 PM
Thanks so much for the inspiring contest Nayda-) hugs Jan xx
Date: 5/20/2016 12:56:00 PM
Interesting, enjoyed much.
Login to Reply
Allison Avatar
Jan Allison
Date: 5/22/2016 4:31:00 PM
Thanks so much Deepak:-) hugs Jan xx
Date: 5/20/2016 5:39:00 AM
...Intoxicating writing dear, Jan! A seven without question!
Login to Reply
Allison Avatar
Jan Allison
Date: 5/20/2016 5:59:00 AM
Thanks Demetrios:-) Have you grown a rose and named it after Vienna???? Hugs Jan xx
Date: 5/20/2016 2:31:00 AM
You've used the theme of alcohol addiction so well:) all the best:)
Login to Reply
Allison Avatar
Jan Allison
Date: 5/20/2016 5:25:00 AM
Thanks Jo:-) hugs Jan xx
Date: 5/20/2016 1:36:00 AM
Hi Jan, You have penned a well written piece. This is a reality for so many people. You captured the feeling of a "alcoholic" very well. Best of luck in the contest.Excellent job 7- Alexis
Login to Reply
Allison Avatar
Jan Allison
Date: 5/20/2016 1:45:00 AM
Thanks so much Alexis and its great to see you back my friend:-) hugs Jan xx
Date: 5/19/2016 5:38:00 PM
Excellent write and great subject for a reality check Jan. That first step is so hard for many, hats off to those who manage to beat this wicked addiction. Hugs
Login to Reply
Allison Avatar
Jan Allison
Date: 5/19/2016 5:43:00 PM
Thanks Cecilia - beating an addiction must be so so difficult:-( hugs jan xx
Date: 5/19/2016 5:06:00 PM
Brilliant Jan, how true, you write it very well,
Login to Reply
Allison Avatar
Jan Allison
Date: 5/19/2016 5:06:00 PM
Thanks Harry:-) hugs Jan xx
Date: 5/19/2016 3:59:00 PM
Spot on!
Login to Reply
Allison Avatar
Jan Allison
Date: 5/19/2016 4:13:00 PM
Thanks Jean - I am sure there are people here who can sadly relate to my lines - thankfully for me it is fiction. Hugs jan xx :-)
Date: 5/19/2016 3:06:00 PM
Said a drunk to a judge: Thank God I turned to drink. If not, who knows what I might have become. Like our limerick on Percy too. Thanks for the stop by. / M
Login to Reply
Allison Avatar
Jan Allison
Date: 5/19/2016 3:09:00 PM
LOL love that comment Maurice:-) hugs Jan xx
Date: 5/19/2016 11:34:00 AM
Hard hitting Jan. Most who are addicted know it but are too scared to walk away.
Login to Reply
Allison Avatar
Jan Allison
Date: 5/19/2016 11:39:00 AM
So true Tim - also I guess admitting to having a problem is the first step to dealing with it:-( hugs Jan xx
Date: 5/19/2016 10:21:00 AM
Very well written Jan, thanks!
Login to Reply
Allison Avatar
Jan Allison
Date: 5/19/2016 11:03:00 AM
Thanks Sara:-) hugs Jan xx
Date: 5/19/2016 8:35:00 AM
Great poem on a vital subject that affects so many families, too often it ends up as you depicted. They do need help and support no doubt. Great job on shining light on difficult social problem.
Login to Reply
Allison Avatar
Jan Allison
Date: 5/19/2016 10:08:00 AM
Thanks John - I have friends who are living through this addiction and its absolute hell:-( hugs Jan xx
Date: 5/19/2016 7:30:00 AM
Very good poem, addiction is never easy.
Login to Reply
Allison Avatar
Jan Allison
Date: 5/19/2016 7:36:00 AM
I agree with you Arthur - I thought addiction was a good theme for the 'reality' contest:-( hugs Jan xx

Book: Shattered Sighs