The Battle For Betterment

Is it possible, in times like these, To fight off such adversity and selfishness And to save other souls that you owe not to? Gaze into these pain-filled eyes, Contemplate their crushing calumny And see why I must depart from you Look at the flaws, See through the glass that mirrors delight, And tell me at last, that it is my fight Just as it is yours And in those depths that I must wander, I know it must be I who sees it As the first blast conquers fearful firsts, I will awaken my senses to the terrors beheld And see at once the damage that lies await I see the creatures of my consciousness Crawl into the dark trenches, They want to survive just as badly as I do, Yes, demons I see, With hidden motives, cruel intentions, And black surprises, nodding their heads In an apprehension to each loss They wait on my defeat And jump in when I am down I see now why I have let them in— So I may justify my sins with their inglorious fabrications I see what I am And I must prepare to outlive the ugly How is it conceivable to you, That such gaseous fires have blinded me for so long, And yet I have done little to nothing to extinguish it? How can you possibly understand what I am up against? What weapon do I choose against the spiritual forces, That wrought these tortures to my wayward mind? I touch and I trace the darkness, Like a child holds the edge of a tombstone In its little-differenced hand, Can I change what has never failed to grow? Can I destroy a bloom destined to flourish? Or do I die with what I deemed achievable? My innards burn from the silent blasts within My lips quiver as I rise from impossible despondency I aim for my own heart, And hope for a moment that all shall end The cracks of the bones, The crash of dueling bodies, The spilling of determined sweat, The promise of death And the hope for restoration Push me up upon my purpose As the demons emerge from the depths, Scattering the sopping fields of woe I feel the earth below me, And see the tip of my nose from above, Sorrow streaming along the sides of my cheeks With tears and trepidation, My beating heart knows the rhythm of my awareness, My mind knows what troubles it must collect, And to the heavens I let seep words unsung, Poetry unmanaged, unmetered and unstrung I delve into the source of my pains And tell the truth where the lies have fallen short I declare my guileful iniquities, The evils that my nature endorsed I spoke of the murders I have committed, Of the insipid hate that allowed access To my sensitive soul's hidden desires I praised creation and its perfection, Noting my perspective of self-worthlessness I admitted to my acts of immorality, Depravity, and dishonesty And lastly, I sorrowed over the knowledge I have shunned Sobbed at the light I let slip… From above I saw my frame, How it genuinely shrunk, as my sorrowful head sunk As my knees crumbled, meeting the bloodied soil I had fought the despair with truth and honesty And the light returned to my eyes And the heavy fogs of my mind cleared So that my heart knew what needed to be done The booming fits of blood have stirred me Into an action I have only dreamt Now rest Your eyes on me now, When I have come to know that the fight is not my own It is Ours, and mine and Yours The true battle lies within Our human souls And calls for infinite glory to embark See that we have acknowledged our faults See that we have repented before the scene And see that we will change That we will not fight blindly among demons and darkness But that we will battle alongside truth See that we must return to You as new men Reflecting jubilantly The blessings that love and peace orchestrate