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That Green-Eyed Monster

He was right to be suspicious She was acting suspiciously So he followed her that morning To see what he might see She didn’t go towards her office She took the road to the ocean shore And pulled up to a motel where They had never been before He watched her get a room key Then go to a cabin with an ocean view He was hurting so much inside himself He didn’t know just what to do He saw another man knock on the door Looking tall and younger than him He loaded the pistol from inside his car As she let the stranger in He shot her once aside the head Him twice in the face Then turned the pistol upon himself Making a full mess of the place The police found a cell phone in her hand The stranger left a bible on the table The husband’s cell phone was on the front seat of his car Displaying 1 voice message on the label “Hi Honey, I know it’s a month early but … Happy Anniversary. I got us a terrific little room at this quaint motel down in Seaside and found a nice young preacher who said he would perform a service to reaffirm our vows. When you get this message, come down and join me. See you soon … Love you.”

Copyright © | Year Posted 2012




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Date: 8/21/2012 6:58:00 PM
Oops!! "See you soon"? He should be a-shiverin' in his booties. Nice story, Joe. A good rhythm-and-rhyme flow you've got going here. You're not mentioning whether you wrote this as a contest entry, but good luck to you anyway. Nice work!! :)
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Date: 8/21/2012 9:55:00 AM
Great story. Love this, the way it builds to the surprise. You should enter it into the Dastardly deeds, or whatever it is called.
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Date: 8/21/2012 9:15:00 AM
Great write.. pic a great lesson from this work thanks Joe :) have a nice day:)SK
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Date: 8/21/2012 8:41:00 AM
Wow... scary, but like real life... if you watch the news. Good write. Thought provoking. I think this one definately came out of the ID>
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Date: 8/21/2012 8:26:00 AM
Wow Joe, this hits hard and to the point, like this really well structured message, here. a lesson to all.
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Date: 8/21/2012 8:15:00 AM
Wonder what you were dreaming about before you wrote this poem,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,scary,,,,. Joyce
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Date: 8/21/2012 8:14:00 AM
Wow, I have goosebumps! This is a lesson to all the overreactors out there! Great story, Joe...love and blessings, Rhonda :))
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Date: 8/21/2012 6:14:00 AM
oh man! talk about jumping to conclusions! geez... I can picture it all happening. great write :)
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Date: 8/21/2012 6:01:00 AM
wow Joe, the bite in this just teriffic....David
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Book: Reflection on the Important Things