Suicide Note

If I were to write a suicide note, I would kiss every inch of the page, to drench it With my last breathings of doomed love If I were to write a suicide note, I would spray each corner with Arabian perfume, So you will always associate death not with the chilling scents of Decomposing flesh, or freshly turned soil, but with a heady Intoxicating fragrance If I were to write a suicide note, I would use many inks in rainbow colours, to soothe The ache of my parting words – to paint a kaleidoscopic picture of My beautiful misery If I were to write a suicide note, I would not waste time listing my miseries, For they were countless, and too heavy for a sheet of paper To bear If I were to write a suicide note, I would compose it sitting on my bed, my legs a creamy white Against the starched white sheet, my face lifting now and then To the window, to distract myself from the solemnity by Observing my final sunset If I were to write a suicide note, I would use the word ‘love’ as often as my heart Nervously beats, in preparation for the coming stillness If I were to write a suicide note, I would remind you that were it not for you I would Never have lived at all I would tell you how you lifted my soul, How you dragged me up from the depths, The proverbial lotus flower pushing its blooms through The sucking black mud I would tell you how you were always with me, Even when you weren’t – how your memory Haunted, gently, bitter-sweetly I would tell you how every time I closed my eyes I saw your face, Etched by angel fingers on the thin red easels of my lids I would tell you how, to me, this feeble dying girl, You were the most beautiful thing in the world More beautiful than fresh-blooming roses, Or a tropical sunset More sacred than temples or churches More radiant than the sun, That blazing god More poignant than the moon, In all her melancholy splendor More overwhelming than my frail heart could bear If I were to write a suicide note, It would quickly become a love sonnet, Devoted wholly to you And my death would be lost in the subtext...