Suffocation

I crave this addiction, I’m not denying its suffocation. I kneel to its power, Yet never seem to cower. My heart stutters with the lust, Of this forbidden comfort. I’ve tried to move on, But my soul dies with the isolation. My eyes are covered, As I slowly try to recover. This sin touches me most intimately, As it slowly encompasses me completely. You may think differently, But this is so not necessary. I hate this thing I have, I hate that I can’t crave its shadow. I wish to be alone, Not overthrown. I wish to hold my own, Until I’m over grown. My heart is mine, and only mine, No matter where or what time. The love falling freely, Is mine to keep greedily. Love is the worst addiction, It is the worst affliction. Why can’t I have loneliness, Instead of this gagging happiness? I don’t deserve this, After all of the regrets. I don’t want it, So please help me lose this whiplash.