So Bribe Me

So you want this so bad? Incorrigible lad Your excesses will come back to haunt you, But we may do a deal Under this seal Unless common sense doth daunt you. Should push come to shunt You’ll bear the brunt Of an outlying cost that may shock you, A bribe? You dare say And ask me a game to play For which the police will surely up-lock you. Me too? Oh joke on, You son of a swan, They’ll never catch me this millennium For my name is quite clean By all I am seen As the pillar upholding nobelium. My bribe price, you ask? I’ll take you to task For using a term disrespectful I’ll write it down here … stop looking so ***** Or I’ll change my tone to neglectful. When I’m gone on my way You can see my say, The paper is here ‘neath my placemat And if you agree My lawyer you’ll see To comply you’ll be sporting a lace hat. He'll sort you out, You son of a trout And see that we both get our wish met But don't try to pump us Or he'll cause such a rumpus That you'll want soon to face your Kismet. So farewell for now Oh son of a cow We’ll not see each other again For I’m off to travel And mysteries unravel Along the Brazilian main.