Smoking Section

I wanted to hangout, to be with the cool kids! There standing together, leaning against brick walls. Holding their cigarettes, rotating the filter between thumb and fore finger. Putting Export A's up to their mouths for an extended drag. The smoke seemed to surround them in a cloud of respect. That was the time before their fingers had become yellowed, before their teeth had lost that Colgate brightness. They, in that moment were at the peak of their perfection, oblivious that sometimes, tomorrow can be a cruel joke. "What are you looking at?" I looked down at my suddenly fascinating shoes, watched my shoes move me in a different direction. Their laughter stuck to me like a piece of discarded bubblegum. So I kept walking, until I found a different self. Determined, I carved out my own itsy bit of coolness. A certain walk, a bit of aloofness. Not trying so hard to be liked. Me the mysterious stranger, dark clothes, an aura of dangerous! I tried it out for a while, It somehow seemed to work. "Lamoureux, you want a cigarette?" "Na I ain't into that Sh_t!" I walked away holding my head high, "whatever dude.." Somehow saying no added to my rep, a certain kinda bizarre respect! Army boots, metal cleats clicking as I sauntered away. Then I went home Changed back into familiar clothes, dressed like myself head to toes. Just a bit outside of normal I chose. Said goodbye to my make believe, didn't need it anymore. Just walked past it and slammed that door! I had known cool for just a bit, it never truly did fit. That dark bleeding persona wasn't me, I needed my inner awkward to be let free, but without being afraid of what others would see. Friendly is how I was meant to be, so I started climbing high up in my own tree Fully myself, not some fake man of mystery. Adios cool self, you're ancient History!