Sleeps With the Fishes

The flight of my whims- In Ocean's swim! Shallow depths of murkiness Brimming at the rims Bubbles of trouble, Like rain in puddles Gather to the Grim Pop me none too subtle- And pull apart my fins! *Again, this is a bit experimental and not sure how you will interpret it. Also, I know technically "subtle" should be "subtly", but I chose to leave it grammatically incorrect. And this is embarrassing to admit, but does anyone know if "ocean's" needs an apostrophe or not? Should it be just "oceans"? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller...? ;)

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem.

Please Login to post a comment

Debbie Guzzi

Date: 3/22/2014 3:15:00 PM

[no apostrophe] nice use of internal rhyme Light & Love

Robin Davis

Date: 1/18/2014 9:45:00 PM

Chan Chan This is a unique and different write. Bubbles, puddles, oceans, rain. You are either making me thirsty or have to go to the bathroom. LOL I'm glad I could make you smile with my Cartoon poem. Love and Hugs Sweet Pea

Just That Archaic Poet
Date: 1/19/2014 7:40:00 AM

Thanks for the read and reply, Sweet Pea <3

Barbara Gorelick

Date: 8/21/2013 11:10:00 AM

Hey, thank you for stopping by some of my older work..I must admit I almost forget that I wrote some of it..lol NOt sure, but I think its just oceans... BG

Just That Archaic Poet
Date: 8/21/2013 12:19:00 PM

Thanks! I always try to review pieces of those who are kind enough to leave me feedback :)

Karen Anglesey

Date: 8/19/2013 8:58:00 PM

This is very imaginative and I like the rhythm and flow. It sounds to me like someone jumped in a little too deep and needs help to swim back out "and pull apart my fins"... anyway...very nicely expressed :)

Just That Archaic Poet
Date: 8/19/2013 9:08:00 PM

Thank you for the read and reply. As the author, I should have SOME idea of what I'm talking about, but this piece isn't deliberately ambiguous. Any and all interpretations are appreciated, and I think you have really grasped the theme and even helped me figure out what I am conveying. Thank you very much, Karen! :)