Home » Poems » Nette Onclaud » Slaughterhouse

Slaughterhouse

comets strike terror bombing nations rapid fire... a slaughterhouse roasts spiked towers pierce flesh… drenched with blood of raw corpses like clotheslines on trees from skies tainted black grounds crumble into thin rust… world in drained sandbag then, God says enough angels swoop to tend remains… guarding earth anew .......... . .. Gail Doyle's Contest End of the World Armageddon

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem.

Please Login to post a comment

Debbie Duncan

Date: 7/15/2012 2:28:00 AM

Awesome,,,,, cool win ;} I need to start reading more from you ,,, blessing as always !

Caryl Muzzey

Date: 6/24/2012 8:52:00 AM

A wonderful write Nette, congratulations on you 2nd place win. I enjoyed the read~ Caryl

Carol Sunshine Brown

Date: 6/23/2012 1:12:00 PM

Congratulations on your well deserved win in Gail's "Armageddon" contest Nette. Love, Carol

Tanya Harrington

Date: 6/22/2012 1:30:00 PM

Congrats on your win! What imagery! Tanya

Kim Merryman

Date: 6/22/2012 6:10:00 AM

Congrats on your win with this very graphic write, Nette! Scary visuals, but then I don't imagine the end of the world will be pretty. Love, Kim

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 6/21/2012 8:08:00 PM

WHAT a visual, Nette. Scary as heck!! Congrats on your win.

Rhonda Johnson-Saunders

Date: 6/21/2012 7:42:00 PM

Wow, this is amazing, Nette! Congrats on your win. Love and Blessings, Rhonda

Robert Pettit

Date: 6/21/2012 5:55:00 PM

You could rewrite the Book of Revelation with this type of work. You could make St. John envious.

Gwendolen Song

Date: 6/20/2012 4:10:00 AM

Gripping images of corpses like clotheslines on trees...brilliant! I don't think Gail minds if it's senryu, right...it was more of the syll count that she was concerned with...I love this entry! No revelational writes for me...Daniel and John corn-fuse me with hidden pictures of symbolism...I do love the Bible tho'. When it all does come tumbling down, I truly wonder how close we were to understandin' these foretold events?...Great luck in this contest...altho u won't need any. Love, Gwendolen

Gwendolen Song
Date: 6/20/2012 4:12:00 AM

Hey, I have to tell you a big thanks for the Writing the Bones book...I revisited it b4 writing a recent free verse...that author, although terribly monotonous in her voice, gives great advice! I have her book on tape. :) thanks, Nette...rather, Prof. Nette!

Bl Devnath

Date: 6/19/2012 11:54:00 AM

If World war happen, certainly this picture will be seen. It's sad and full of terror of future. Advance imagination. Loved always, bl

Debbie Duncan

Date: 6/17/2012 10:48:00 AM

LOVE this,,,,have a blessed day ;}

Matthew Anish

Date: 6/16/2012 12:51:00 PM

This is interesting and stimulating work but I believe it is senryu since it has a 5 7 5 word count but is not about about nature. Love & Peace Matthew Anish

Jack Horne

Date: 6/16/2012 11:43:00 AM

Wow, powerful and scary write, Nette. Sure to be a big winner. Thanks very much - loved your contest : )

Ronny Madonsela

Date: 6/16/2012 9:42:00 AM

best of luck for gails contest. Wonderful haiku. Love it. *smiles* Ron

Sara Kendrick

Date: 6/15/2012 2:57:00 PM

Top of the winners' list for sure..Enjoyed reading your interpertation of that event..Good luck in the contest..Thanks for stopping by...Sara

Linda-Marie Sweetheart

Date: 6/15/2012 1:52:00 PM

fantastic images of the battle Nette luv.. good luck in contest.. always amazing your perceptions of futuristic happenings.. how are u my friend? Constance having surgery on Wednesday for kidney problem stone and stent.. she says hi to everyone as I spoke to her on phone yesterday.. luv..

Kash Poet

Date: 6/15/2012 1:17:00 PM

Very nice haiku on the theme of the contest Nette...enjoyed.

Wilma Neels

Date: 6/15/2012 11:27:00 AM

A fabulous write with awesome imagery Nette, wishing you the best for Gail's contest.. Enjoy the weekend ahead..*hugs*

Russell Sivey

Date: 6/15/2012 11:11:00 AM

This is a very special write my friend! I believe you hit the nail on the head with you descriptions! This is a remarkable poem Nette! You've designed this write perfectly, I love it! Great Work!!

Anne-Lise Andresen

Date: 6/15/2012 10:27:00 AM

Nette !!!!! Here I am..............lol.... Like always ....lovely poem. - Luck to you in contest. - huggggs from me.