She Must Be In Denial

Something happened this morning. I had absolutely no warning. There I was trying to live right, and my belt got tight, It was hugging me since times of old. It shrunk! There wasn’t another hole. And another mysterious quirk, a button popped off my shirt. My wife says it’s a possibility that I’m getting fat. She isn’t very nice. She insults me like that. I explained it was obviously because of my manly chest, She said for me a course in anatomy would be best. I told her these clothes should all be returned as defective, She lied and said that would be only MY perspective. Anyway, she’s been acting a little weird for a while, She may envy my trim figure and is in denial. And what’s wrong with that digital bathroom scale? Electronics! I knew it would one day fail. Getting fat! I can’t believe that for even one bit! That just can’t be! My hat and shoes still fit!