Self Abusive

damn i just relasped and i cant grasp the concept that i let myself go going to the point where im losin all control but i cant hold on its the same old song and ive been singing it for far too long i cant stay strong and its upsetting and im betting that i'll never change am i better off locked in a cage away from the world i'll contemplate it as i twirl this blunt rolling a fat one to go on a hunt to make some money im not stupid but i act like a dummy and doing dumb **** but i cant split from myself im stuck with the thoughts in my mind and responsible for my health drugs for me is like water to the wicked witch and its gonna make me melt cuz i felt it once before two or three times maybe four and im sure im headed for danger trying to break into a car with a metal hanger so you better have an alarm on your ranger cuz im coming to do something and youll end up with nothing cuz i'll have it all i hate when i take the devils call cuz i know eventually i will fall flat on my face and catch a case losing my personal space no good time for me i just need to believe that i can stay clean it hurts so much i just wanna scream SPECTRUM 6 WRITTEN ON 5-1-2013