Seeing My Youth

He comes again this year With him my buried relatives I welcome them with warm feelings All day everyday for a month or more Uncertain confusing it will be pretty bemusing I see it everyday now Video Game Consoles Dress ups for parties Christmas amusement parks first love Easily calling today Nostalgia gnawing Im choked up in tears Non stop cold rain On top of the Christmas weather My Papa's love Enveloping me Santa making it cheery Lola and lolo visiting Daddy and Mommy chiming in Youd think it would be a boy I thought it could have been him Cruelly mistaken Can never shake this feeling Dead family never lost but painful so it seems Noche Buena on the 24th Media Noche on New Year Parol lit all month Simbang gabi All hope and peace Without these we are lost We must need these It comes every year Dousing it wont work We must need it because we live through it But then wait, for sweetness I hold dear to the living Only solution to shake gloom away More resplendent than sleeping it off with kerosene I know that now, sobered, I see it much better