Seeing Is Not Believing

I look for another fight as I tap the mat, The loss is a triumph of the next is a win, And if the next is a win, then there's no Humility is loss, so I can't learn. Gratitude has turned into an expectation For grace... Thank you, now what are you Gonna give me? Thank you again, now more! The horror of what you become when Addiction keeps you stupid has me Fighting for loss, and selfishly taking As Greater abundance keeps circling As a riddle with no hint, as a consumption With no way to absorb, no way to digest Full knowledge I can't know until I become what I know...I can see what I am but seeing is not Believing... Maybe is I accept the unacceptable, I can cut off the gangrene And save what life there is left