Rumination

i can say they are unwelcome yet secretly i invite them in ask them to stay tell me a story as if it is not the story of me the meaning of me teach me something new or old false unreal at best ephemeral a truth a lie no matter it dies in the light of reason returns in the flow of time leaves me now returning to that shadow self the truer self the wild violent self they will find me when i need them the lie that dwells within is never far away