Prayer

Hello Dear Jesus, It's been a long, long time. I hope that you still know me, I've been hiding quite awhile. I know that you know all things Still, I think I should explain, The reason I've been hiding Is because of all the shame. I know that I don't look so great For meeting up with you But I hope you understand I've been alone since I was eight. You probably see the dirt marks And smudges on my face But it seems no matter how I try Some things can't be erased. They say that eyes are windows That peer into the soul. I'm afraid that if you look there, You'll find it dark and cold. I'm not sure why it is, Lord, But you won't see any tears. I guess they've just been locked up Inside me all these years. I know that limp and lifeless Is my unruly hair. I guess that's just what happens When no one really cares. And if you ask a question I won't have much to say. I've found that no one really wants To hear me anyway. And if you care to listen, Sit quiet and you'll hear How hard my heart is pounding. That's because of all the fear. You'll notice that I wrap my arms Around me all the time. I do that for protection Of the things that should be mine. See, not so very long ago, Without an ounce of care, Someone took away from me Things I never meant to share. And if you find I tremble When you come close to me, It's because of all the dreadful things That someone did to me. Jesus I'm so sorry If these things have saddened you. But when I cried out to you You never told me what to do. I know that in my mother's womb You created me And I can't help but wonder Is this what I was meant be? They say that you are everywhere, With each and every one, But it seems that on those dark nights You left me all alone. They tell me that you love me And I suppose it's true, But Jesus, please remember That he said he loved me too.