Physical Pain As a Luxury

So i inhale, and almost choke trying to breathe out, when i realize; i'm the physical couonterpart of this emotional wreck I crash into him someway loving the pain we seem to create Sanity will never define this, the definition is insane Wanting to let go, only if you will allow me to become what you've made Whats the extraction of my pain? Engraved onto my heart the story of the game Addicted to the plays An attic of the rules we've made This blade watched him carve his name into my heart No explanation as to why his voice pumps blood into my veins You broke the rules and left the blade My mind a maze; Now every corner i turn i see his face or hear his name Please leave, just let me be Even now that your gone your in every one of my dreams How could this be? This hurts more than any physical pain; i would die for that luxury Infatuated with his love Never thought to be a need My tears a mute witness of my screams Why me?