Painful Lesson

I was once suicidal for a long period of time. Overdosing daily. Cutting at night. Standing in the middle of the road waiting for the impact. Being pulled out of the way right before the crash. I prayed and prayed for the day I died. I planned and planned for my suicide. This week I realized something that I never knew before. How suicide affects everyone and how painful it is when they mourn. This lesson was taught to me in the worst possible way. Losing my Grandpa. But now I pray. Dear Lord, take care of my Grandfather and keep him at a peaceful rest. Watch over my family and help us cope to his death. Amen.