One Drunken Night

In through the front door he creeps The old girl lies upstairs asleep Then he hears her call In his drunken stupor he falls Her swear words should carry a bleep. He's broken her ornamental well He hears her shout '' oh effing hell '' and he can see all her wares As she comes bounding downstairs He's in for a roasting he can tell. She helps carry him to bed But the thought of her boobies won't leave his head He thought a touch would be nice and he did it without thinking twice She gave a look that would frighten the dead. He got up and fell in the bath It was then he heard her laugh She said '' that serves you so right'' You can sleep there all night He's too sozzled to follow her path. He woke up at an unearthly hour His bladder must have lots of staying power Relieved he crawled back into bed You're bloody freezing she said Go get yourself a warm shower. but he cuddles and spoons Singing her favourite tune Nibbling her ears and though stinking of beer She isn't stopping him anytime soon. No matter how hard he tried His excitement would not be denied He caressed her body tenderly Kissed her so romantically The way he did when she was a young bride. Be still her beating heart Of her he is part and knowing he resides in that wonderful address He states '' I'm forgiven I guess She laughs , ''Ask me tomorrow when I've got a full shopping cart.