Oh, Why Didn'T I Listen

Oh, Why Didn’t I Listen? Oh, God, why didn’t I listen to my heart and also all the warnings that were spoken to me, for there were many that had heard that I was determined to abort you my little baby? After all, the Dr. said that you were only a blob of unfeeling tissue and flesh, yet I knew in my heart that I had felt you move within my womb where you were comfortably enmeshed. Now, I wonder and wonder and am in torment what kind of a baby boy you would have been like, would you have played as others do with cars and trucks and outside would you have ridden your bike? How I have missed knowing you and holding you and rocking you to sleep before I was to put you in your bed, then hearing at other times how you would stir and play and kick and fuss or however you were led. My baby, my heart still aches after these many years and I have cried myself to sleep because of wanting to see your face, though I know that I am forgiven by God because of His mercy yes, and His amazing grace. One day soon we will meet in Heaven where I know you have lived in such a lovely place, we will finally see each other and then I can tell you I’m sorry as I see you face to face. I want you to know, dear son that I was never able to bear any other baby, so all throughout eternity I will love and care for you if you will let me. Written by: Marilyn S. Jennings January 18, 2015 – copyright pending