Obesity Ode

(Sing to the tune "American Pie.) I long, long time ago, I can still remember when, Junk food made me smile, And I knew if I had a chance, That I could make my fatness dance, And maybe I was happy for a while, But McDonald's made me shiver, With every burger they'd deliver, Bad news on their doorstep, I couldn't take one more step, I can't remember if I cried, When I passed size twenty-five, But something touched me deep inside, The day I knocked back French fries. CHORUS.... So, bye, bye, McDonald's French fries, Drove my chevy away from McDonald's, didn't have a bevy, I said goodbye to whiskey and rye, Singing no more apple pies, That's the end of obesity fries.... Did you go to McDonald's biomes? Did you know you're changing your genomes? Eating all those pesticides? Now do you believe they love you guys? Might as well eat dead flies! And can you change evolution in real time? CHORUS....... I was an obese teenage bronco buck, Driving to McDonald's in a pickup truck, But I knew I was out of luck, The day I ate landfill in those French fries... I started singing bye, bye obesity fries, Drove my chevy, had no bevies, And the burgers were dry, This is the day I knock back French fries. CHORUS....... I met a girl who sang the blues, ]She'd passed turning size twenty-two, I asked her if she ate junk food too, She just smiled and drove away, I drove down to the store no more, Where I ate additives years before, But the junk food store didn't care anyway... CHORUS, CHORUS.....