Numb

I‘ve never felt this numb before, as I did when I watched you entrance the door. Floating through, sweeping like ocean froth. Leaving me in my own pain distraught. You look and speak as though I’m the child, that loving and living with you is worthwhile. I’d rather sit with my back chained to the wall, then to stand behind and catch your fall. Tears won’t come to me today, to soothe the pain of my blood doused ways. And the salt falling by the stars of the ocean wont come by to rescue me. In my notebook I would write, of all the things I’ve seen. And even if it wasn’t beautiful, it was my poetry. If crystal balls would tell the future I don’t think I would care. For when nightfall turns and breaks to dawn, I know you’ll be sleeping there. Tears won’t come to me today, to soothe the pain of my blood doused ways. And the salt falling by the stars of the ocean wont come to rescue me. I cant repay all the time you’ve lost because you wouldn’t let go. I don’t think I would ever break to feel your breathless flow. I’m tired of fighting, I’m tired of losing, I’m tired of everything this life has left me. Tears are sweet but they don’t come calling, when I’m spent and downward falling. Open pores that score for pleasure, leaking out their secrets precious. I lay myself down, in the hope of some peace. But as my head falls, I choke on this leash. I cant stand to bleed my innocence away. The pureness is gone, you’ve taken it too far. But somehow I’ll find a tear today.