Nothing Really Matters

Lately everything seems to be surrounded in darkness Either I am way too close or too far away When I stand close I perfectly see the flickering light ahead How close it is but when I reach it.. it just disappears I can't seem to grasp anything that's around me anymore When I touch it, it just turns to ash... Seems I have lost the will to do much anything Sometimes I find myself starring at white walls.. I forgot to think.. maybe I will forget to breath too The image of the world in my head.. is so different from what I see... with my eyes Is reality an allusion or is the world in my head.. Darkness surrounding everyone I stand close to You see them fade in and out like a hologram When you reach out to touch them.. they are not real Sometimes they just.. disappear Then I find myself searching for what I used to know Seems the world in my head.. is not so bright and colorful anymore Either everyone is stuck in the past with me.. or they are moving forward.. I am watching them pass me by as I stay within the realm I am used to knowing No matter how many times I change my appearance.. Everything stays the same... and I realize.. All the people I know.. In the end. .. nothing really matters... Everything you knew.. Everything you have touched.. Everyone you have loved Everyone you once cared for All the lessons you learned... what are they for?... Is it better to be... alone.. Where there is no pain in a relationship with another.. I can no longer get close to anyone.. I find myself.. stepping further and further back Yet I cannot stop myself... there is no rope to grab.. Which world would I rather live in.. the one i see with my eyes.. or the one in my head... They both have become.. one of the same... covered and smeared in blood.. Darkness... I have no reflection in the mirror.. and I can feel my soul slipping from within me All I see.. is cracks.. where my soul is leaking its way out.. Yet no band-aid or super glue.. could help cover it Hallow... Nothing can save you now.. because you realize... the truth.. Once your world is coming to an end.. it wont matter.. You will not remember.. you wont be able to feel.. Somehow, even with this darkness and being surrounded by darkness Having the feeling of comfort and a blind happiness Everything is perfectly where it belongs...