Not So Happy Holidays

You know I got divorced, From a nagging wife who turned out to be horsed. So I scribed to Daddymas for a new bird, Told him the lyrics, gave him the word. I said, “She must not be skinny, or too fat,” She must be in between, a plump middle age old bat. You know something crossed between a chicken and a turkey, What do you call ‘em ah yes! A Churkey. Daddymas was swift, speedily replied, I was so excited until I read his letter inside. “Now listen carefully,” daddymas said to me, "You need to go to this place and there she will be." "Not skinny or too fat," "In between just the way you like her, a plump middle aged old bat." If you in this place she’ll be there, your “Churkey,” an attractive dish, And you know what the f—ker gave me, free subscription to the online dating agency “plenty of fish.” (I'M a bit rusty)