Nature's Erotica

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an erotic riff a lake a walk an evening gift Maurice Yvonne 05/11/2014

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Liam Mcdaid

Date: 11/9/2014 5:43:00 PM

beautifully painted maurice

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 11/6/2014 8:59:00 PM

i see the change you made and ME LIKEY!!

Debbie Guzzi

Date: 11/6/2014 7:21:00 PM

I believe you have created your own new form (5-2-2-5) (a/b/c/a) ;) the Yvonnette. GOOD work! Light & Love

Shadow Hamilton

Date: 11/6/2014 3:21:00 AM

startling imagery here as you leave your reader to fill in Maurice very clever pen hugs

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 11/5/2014 7:39:00 PM

I like the first and last lines best!! like David meade says down here, it works the imagination!!

David Meade

Date: 11/5/2014 6:38:00 PM

I like this my friend -- my imagination is in overtime . . . the first and last lines are contrasting -- from a rift to a gift with a rhyme . . . the middle is time for thought -- maybe how to correct the rift and make it a gift. . . . well done.

David Meade
Date: 11/5/2014 10:39:00 PM

What a difference a letter makes!! I could not figure out what the other comments meant . . . now it makes sense. Now the Erotic, Riff, and Gift come together in a three part harmony . . . this made me laugh . . . great poem either way may friend. Outstanding write.

Maurice Yvonne
Date: 11/5/2014 7:26:00 PM

thank you David your comment inspired a rewrite.